Past life from the late 80s and early 90s?

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Jayla, Jun 6, 2019.

  1. Jayla

    Jayla New Member

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    Ok, so I'm a 22year old woman from New York City and every since I was a child I've always had this deep fascination with the past. I always felt this deep connection with late 80s and early 90s culture. The fashion, the music, movies, the way people talked, the way everything looked, and even old items from that time period. When I was a child whenever I heard a song from that era, I instantly got flashbacks of things that never happened! I felt a nostalgic feeling. My mom kept these old clothes in her closet from the 80s and I would sometimes dress up in them and I would pretend like I was actually in that time period. When I hit my teen years I suddenly became obsessed with stories of suicide, well all my life I've been very interested in stories of suicide (as terrible as it sounds) but when I became older I started to look up stories and even documentries on it, and I've always wanted to know about people who died around the late 80s and early 90s. When I was about 5 I recall having out of place memories that didn't add up. Now I'm having recurring dreams in the same town but different things happening. This one dream I had, I was in a supermarket and everyone had on vintage clothing it was so weird. I'm still obsessed with that era. I watch old commercials on YouTube and I feel this peacefulness and happiness whenever I search up old videos from the late 80s and early 90s. Sometimes I find myself talking in slang from that time as well. In my present life I suffer from depression but I'm not suicidal. I'm wondering if this because I was maybe depressed in my past life and committed suicide?
     
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  2. Jaimie

    Jaimie Senior Member

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    Hi Jayla! I found what you wrote very interesting. I think you could very well have lived back then.

    Regarding the depression I think I have had a similar problem.

    I would have for years after visiting a town in US on vacation flashbacks, dreams and during meditation as well experiences of being someone else ( a female ) in the 1950's who had once lived there. I could feel her depression. Her shame. Her insecurities. Like me she was sensitive but I am fortunate not to have depression in this life. However I know she did not kill herself. She was by then used to the symptoms of depression and knew how to handle it and her loved ones
    ( including her ex ) knew how read her and I realized that people were close by and that she was loved ( even if her depression-monster told her she was not worthy of love ).

    I have during meditation experienced another potential past life in the 1920's and seen glimpses of her being depressed.

    I have lately thought of the theory that the same thing happened to "me" in these two past lives (1920's and 1950's).

    In the 1920's was very much in love and in a steady relationship with a man, we can call him W. He came from better social circumstances money- and career wise and his future was all decided for him. We came from different worlds. From what I can tell I believed we would be married one day when he was finished with his education and have a wonderful life.

    I think for a woman in my shoes back then I was in conflict of what society, the church, the way I had been raised told me to do and what I wanted to do and was too much in love with my man to not do without realize I was stepping out on thin ice - that is sharing my bed with W before we were married, trying to avoid pregnancy but there it one day was. I was pregnant.

    I truly blamed only one person for the pregnancy and that was me. He had just been "a man" and I was by society etc suppose to hold my ground and not get carried away with strong feelings of passion. I was "bad".

    It was not the "right time", as they say, but in order to protect me and the baby W married me without a blink of an eye, never telling his "fine" family he did it when he did because I was expecting.

    I feel as if he was cut off from his family, cut off from his promising career and life, like it really was 2 different worlds and we now existed in the black-and white world while he had lived all his life before in the colored one. That the doors were closing in his face even if he was too stubborn and strong to admit it to me. Again I took the blame for that.

    Then to add to my quilt I miscarried and we were both very sad.

    I really felt as what ever I touched in life became poisoned and died, that without intent I was messing other people's lives up. That I could not even protect my baby. I was so ashamed of myself. I would not even look up and look people in the eye.

    Even if I don't want to go through that door of re-experiencing the background to why her husband and father thought she had committed suicide by drowning I think at this point that it is likely.

    Then again I have experienced nightmare of trying to save a child from drowning but I don't know if this was a child of her imagination, that she was confused and only wanted to save it without realizing there really was no child there with her in the water.

    Then after having about 100 flashbacks or so I have come to the conclusion that pretty much the same thing happened in the 1950's but with a different ending.
    Being unmarried at the time. Thinking we would marry one day. Still being with W, but now we can call him J, having been reborn too. I think they could potentially be the very same soul because my feelings for him; the warmth and the light and closeness and being a bit childish together, giggling, were the same. He also had the same physical looks.

    I became pregnant at the wrong time. He again offered without a blink of an eye for us to get married and not tell anyone of the pregnancy when we did, to just elope. Thing was if he had done that his promising career would get smashed into. He had also before blamed our youth for wanting to wait to get married but he would act in a lot of ways as if we already were married, his home was my home and so on.

    Again I felt her emotions of blaming herself for the pregnancy, and now thinking she could somehow take care of this alone, feeling very protective of him and his career. She started to really change during this period and would in his words "run away". I felt her strong pain. Unintentionally I think the doors to her past life in the 1920's pain-wise were re-opened but I don't think she knew where these emotions came from. They had broken up in the chaos of her pregnancy and fights about how, when to marry. He did not like the sound of "we" but said over and over again that it was she that left him. In that life she miscarried as well and the baby was the only one she thought of protecting. She was "bad" but the baby was good and J was good. This was her mind frame. She would never do anything to hurt this baby, I could tell. So when she miscarried she was very sad that she did and felt like a failure but she didn't kill herself but tried to re-invent herself and move on. The mask was on. On and off in life I could feel her depression. I know very well of her mind ghosts, the phrases used that seem to belong to a bully that did nothing but push her down, that even if you say lies - if you say it plenty enough it becomes the truth.

    I think in my own life I have strategically known of my sensitivity, but putting up walls, to actually be more selfish than I think I was back then. Early on I felt that no matter what I was going to "own my life". I do have a danger of going inwards when hurt and angry instead of putting words to the emotions and I have trained myself not to do that, but it is always my first instincts. It is something I by nature just sink right into and I am aware of it when it happens and then break the chain. For me this is not something that has come easy and I still have to remind myself.

    Strange thing perhaps is that the same thing has happened to me in this life without intent of course. I became pregnant at the wrong time, but I looked people in the eye and said I was pregnant. I refused to feel any shame. I said the truth that the pregnancy was not planned but that I was very happy and excited to have it. I honestly did not care about anyone else's besides my partner's thoughts or feelings about this. Their looks of our reality or their judgment on our relationship. Life is not like a fairy tale. Who made up these rules anyhow? The father of the child is someone that I don't think is W or J, but he is the love of my life and we are married and been for a long time. We got serious from the day we met, like we had always been a couple, people would comment that we were so close and they thought we had been a couple for years when we were really a new, fresh couple. I am different in my attitude regarding weddings and marriage too than the 1920's and the 1950's girl. To be frank I honestly don't care if I am married or not on paper as long as I am married in my heart.

    I have learned to avoid the emotions of depressions during meditation or to interrupt when they appear too strong. I know depression is a disease and should be treated as such, and it is not who we really are.

    Please, take care :)

    /Jaimie
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2019
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  3. Martin Luger

    Martin Luger New Member

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    It could well be, especially if you can’t find anything specifically which is depressing you in this life. But in saying that we only have to look outside our windows and this destructive, selfish world being created around us can be very depressing to say the least, like as if the whole point is gone, lost within the lust for money.

    BUT, you have already found there is no point in comitting suicide because you are just going to end up back here anyways. Which is a good thing. You are lucky in a sense because you have something many people don’t have. Knowing.

    The worse thing I guess when faced with depression is of course that whole question, “What is the point?” And unfortunately when you do look out the window at the world outside it fails to offer any hope to fill the soul and depression keeps on eating its way back into your mind. You are left feeling like you cannot fight against the world outside and that it is just going to beat you down again and again and again.

    I am no doctor on the subject but I have suffered depression myself and conquered via taking back up a hobby I had as a child, building aircraft models. This effectively took my mind off continually going over and over that which was making me feel depressed. And that is the biggest problem is that the mind just keeps on going over and over trying to find an escape route or a solution yet never finds one. Then those feelings of worthlessness eat into your heart like a cancer, which destroys your will to live because you can’t see what is worth living for anymore and before you know it you are sitting there with the muzzle of loaded gun in your mouth by your own hands.

    The biggest problem here is we are relying on others to build or maintain that sense of self worth. I know it sounds selfish, but I realised that no one, absolutely no one, on this planet has the right to determine my sense of self worth. I only have that right.

    I said this to myself over and over again, each and every day whilst building models. Far too much do we allow the judgement of others to dictate over our own feelings but the buck stops here. This is your life you are living, no one else’s and that is the cold hard fact. If the rest of the world cannot accept that, it is their loss. As long as you accept it, that is the most important thing you must realise within your mind.

    Then before you know it you have built a massive fortress around the center of your being. Your heart. A fortress of which no one can conquer. You’ll end up having dreams of being in armour of which nothing can penetrate. Then you find that you can take on the world and they can never drag you down again.

    Or you could just go camping and get back to nature. Empty the cup so to speak and let the smooth flowing sound of the stream arrest your mind and hold it there. Let your probs just flow out of your hands as the water flows down the stream. Go back home afterwards and enjoy Madonna even more.

    Don’t feel depressed, things are about to change in a big way. Stop, look where you are. We are not the ones dying on this planet. You are amongst really beautiful people here. Really beautiful people. There is a lot of give and support here in people I am beginning to notice.
     
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  4. Thyme

    Thyme Active Member

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    Hi Jayla

    If you feel an intense connection to that time you may have lived in the 80's or 90's. You could meditate or try to get a regression. You might find something significant that could explain your attraction to this period of time.

    I lived in the 70's, 80's and 90's, good times! Like every decade, there were bad things and good things, however I enjoyed the 80's quite a bit, although I didn't like Glam metal bands and some songs, but it was relatively fun when I forgot my problems and tried to be optimistic.

    On the suicidal tendencies, only you can find out what happened in your past lives. You know, sometimes we have suicidal tendencies because of problems in our current life or because of some past life that doesn't necessarily have to be the one before this current life. For example, I discovered that my depression problems began in 1400. I thought it was my previous life in the 90's, but in fact my problems came from many years ago. It's hard to talk about here, I think. You should always seek professional help, and if you can't find a logical reason you could start digging into your past lives.

    It's my opinion but you can do what you want. So, if you decide to meditate or write your thoughts about it and discover that you had a life in that period of time, we live at the same time at some point. I would like to continue reading your publications.

    (= Thyme.
     
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  5. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

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    Hi. I'm 28 and was born in 1990 while my older sisters were born in the 80s so I also know about the 80s from my older sisters. Being born in 1990 and growing up in the late 90s early 00s I got to say the 90s were a better times. That I can remember the politics were better here then today though I've never been much into politics especially these days. Also the music was definitely much better then today. I personally can't stand the direction that pop music is going these days. Sometimes I feel nostalgic for those days, but then again we didn't have all the technology back then that we have today.
     
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