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Pleased to meet you all and any Cathars!

Hi TM,

I did a little research on "The Gospel of the Beloved Companion". It appears to be a revised version of the NIV translation of the Gospel of John. You can read the adverse reactions by going to the one star reviews on Amazon (which are mostly based on well-founded doubts about its authenticity rather than disputes about what it says). They are worthwhile, and are not the usual snark-fest. (I think some really wish it was authentic). OTOH, there is actually a book out analyzing the Gospel of the Beloved Companion that gives a fairly positive evaluation here:

amazon.com/deeper-look-Gospel-Beloved-Companion-ebook/dp/B00IVWEHOO#customerReviews

However, I have no idea what the scholarly credentials of the evaluating author are. Plus, I'm a bit suspicious of this Gospel because the purported translator of the Gospel of the Beloved Companion cannot be traced (at least by me or the author of the evaluation). The evaluator points out many of the authentication issues in her book, so it is not (at the least) a complete positive spin job. Consequently, this could be a revolutionary addition to the Christian cannon, or a complete fake. I'd prefer the former, but fear the latter is actually the case.

Then, there is Arthur Guirdham. He was actually a very brilliant man, and I am surprised I haven't obtained and combed through all of his books at this point. There is a very positive review of his work overall (including his famous Cathar books) here: https://ellisctaylor.com/2016/01/09/new-years-eve-without-arthur-guirdham/

One of the things that all of this points out to me is that normal scholarly resources cannot take me to the next step. The Crusade and Inquisition were too thorough in their work of destroying people and records. This leaves, for the time being, only the chance that some forgotten and hidden group has preserved some relevant literature/information (as is claimed in regard to the Gospel of the Beloved Companion), or the recovery of such information via past life memory and research (as is claimed by Guirdham). These will probably be my next areas of research.

Cordially,
S&S
 
In my continuing exploration of the "Gospel of the Beloved Companion" and its mysterious author (translator?), Jehanne de Quillan, I discovered that she is not quite as mysterious as originally thought (though it is difficult to get to the bottom of any of this). In any case, she appears to be very busy doing seminars (mostly at churches) around the country on her book, and these tend to show up on personal and church Facebook pages. Here is a biography from an Episcopal church blog from 2010 related to an upcoming seminar:

"THE INSTRUCTOR: Jehanne de Quillan, teacher and author, presents this program. Raised from childhood in the Laconneau Tradition, and educated in Southern France and Ireland, Jehanne has recently presented the Magdalene Seminar at the Washington National Cathedral. She spends her time teaching and leading pilgrimages and retreats in Europe and the United States. Jehanne is presently working on her second book, The Gospel of the Beloved Companion: a Full Commentary, which is due for publication in early 2011."

The only picture I have found shows a tall Gallic looking woman with dark reddish hair of mature years. (OTOH, perhaps she is just standing next to a very short woman). I'll forego posting her photo (due to copyright concerns), though it is reassuring to me to actually find one. Laconneau, the mysterious group that she is associated with--and which apparently "preserved" this text--is not Cathar in origin, but claims to be far more ancient and mysterious. You can read through what is on their website at Laconneau.org and come to your own conclusions.

I'd actually prefer to find a surviving group of Cathars myself. That is unlikely enough. An organization that claims to have been a hidden and secret sisterhood devoted to feminine equality and spirituality that has remained intact since ancient pre-Christian times is not impossible, but certainly improbable. However, if so, I have to wonder why they suddenly "outed" themselves now. Likewise, aside from the "new" gospel translation being discussed and promoted, they promote a list of books, study materials and other offerings that appear to be closely tuned to current tastes and culture in feminist and feminist spirituality circles (and available to everyone already). Also not impossible I suppose, but if they are this ancient I would expect they would have their own books of hidden and ancient wisdom. However, maybe what they show on their website are just the initial "on the surface" offerings and they get to the "ancient" stuff after the chela has proved her worthiness. o_O Anything is possible, but I have to admit to some disappointment.

Overall, in the never-ending struggle in myself between doubtful and hopeful, I find myself far more doubtful than hopeful most of the time--this may be the sad fruit of old age. Still, I have been wrong before--sometimes "wishes do come true". However, if there is something as revolutionary as this out there--and make no mistake, it is extremely revolutionary--the original source texts should be authenticated by experts. There is no risk anymore that anyone is going to be burned at the stake for bringing this material forward. Actually, they would be counted as Heroic for doing so by most, and the prominence and number of devotees to what they have to say would skyrocket. Thus, the supposed reticence of the group to have its "ancient" texts authenticated seems very suspicious to me. It almost makes one wonder if they are afraid to do so and possibly be exposed as a sham. :eek:

Anyhow, if genuine, this is extremely important material. If this is truly what it claims to be--THEY NEED TO CONFIRM IT. If not, please stop wasting our time.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--there is also a series of posts several years ago where this organization is mentioned on the forum. I don't recognize many of those posting, but Totoro is one of them. Just do a quick search for "ryan" as the name of a member and they can be found.
 
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I continue to seek information. It is a compulsion at this point, but not an evil one. A couple of points of interest.

First, there are those who claim a Cathar family heritage. Apparently, not all the believers were exterminated, though it is quite possible that the Parfait (those who could confer the Consolamentum) were wiped out. Others apparently fled and hid themselves among other groups, keeping a public faith that matched the community, while still meeting with other Cathars and practicing a private faith out of sight of the inquisition et al. I have no idea whether they had any way of getting in contact with each other, but their presence and the possibility that they will come together at some point heartens me. (After all, with the internet, all kinds of reunions and associations are now feasible). One interesting story I read was of a Cajun Cathar! Apparently, some Cathars hid among the Huguenots and some therefore ended up as Cajuns in the swamps of Louisianna! The world is a very strange place. :cool:

Second, there are those out there who pay special attention to the details of the 700 year prophecy of the last Cathar perfect, who pronounced it at the time of his death in 1321, and are expecting something special to happen in 2021 (exactly 700 years later). I'll be keeping an eye out myself. ;)

S&S
 
S&S, I find what you wrote beautiful. When a cathar lifetime reclaims you once more, it is a compulsion that cannot be hushed until you step back into that. Cathars are alive at this time because its necessary. Allow yourself to step back into that light. We live in times of excess, when you really go deep into yourself you find you need very little. Its not about limiting yourself, its becoming free of want. There is something intensely beautiful about that.
 
Hi Kaye,

I hope you have more to add to this thread. I don't want to push too hard, as I'm a bit concerned that you might take flight. However, as always very interested in what you can add.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--I just finished re-reading everything from your first post forward (though I did skim some of the Kundalini posts). There is some very good stuff there, but always room for more.
 
Yes Kaye, good to see you back; I've tried to contact you since our last conversation a very long time ago, did you change your email address?
 
Hi Kaye,

I have read again and am considering what you have said above in post #154. Ironically, in my "continuing research" I came across a poem by a Christian poet that speaks to the conflicting nature of the praise and challenge presented by the Cathars (https://theotherjournal.com/2018/09/24/the-cathars/ ):

We climbed the sharp crag to the stark towers of Quéribus,

the last Cathar castle perched precariously against

an implacable blue sky. A lone golden eagle,

rapt defender, silently passed. The Cathars

rejected the world of the flesh: meat, wine, body.

But we were in France, and still in love. An appetizer

of creamy chèvre was waiting in the sun-drenched café

by the river. The blood-red Languedoc dozed in its carafe.

Above us, the foothills still brooded, wrapped in the past.

At Montségur, they were given the choice: convert or burn.

They all went up in flames, too pure for this world.

But here, the croissants are made of gold, and the coffee

is rich and dark as the robes of heaven. Our bodies

sang in the night. Forgive us, Good Men, Holy Cathars.

We love this flesh, the messy existence of sex, blood, birth.

And yet we look up at your abandoned fortresses carved out of cliffs

in a nest of air, walk the same stony steps you trod on your path

to God, and are left to ponder how you never wavered.

("The Cathar" by Barbara Crooker). The lives described--at both extremes--have not been my life. And I do not foresee the luxuries described above in this lifetime, but even for one living a much simpler life it is still a hard choice, even though it may be ordained on high. You know this yourself.

Cordially,
S&S
 
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Hi Kaye,

Just so you know, since your last I have spent a lot of time thinking about "wants". What I realized is that what you speak of has been happening for a long time already. Whether this is grace or the inevitable result of old age (or both) I do not know. However, perhaps more noticeable than diminishing "wants" is the fading of long-held resentments about things I wanted and didn't get: things I wanted to be, accomplish, experience, etc. Overall, as usual with me, these had little to do with money and social status. (I don't say that as a brag, it is simply that my vices and shortcomings lie elsewhere). However, even as my "wanting" diminished, I still held onto my resentment that I had not had opportunities to do, become, or accomplish those things I wanted. Now I realize that the latter, which I held onto and cultivated even after the "wants" were fading away, is also fading. I find this strangely disconcerting . . . perhaps because both my wants and my resentment at not satisfying those wants were intimately tied to my idea of who I was and was supposed to be in this life as a person and my sense of being thwarted in doing so. It leaves a strange emptiness. Maybe this is the beginning of the freedom you speak of, but it doesn't feel like that at this point. It simply feels like a vacuum that needs to be filled. Hopefully I will find something better in time that will do so, but at present that "something" is not apparent.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--As you note, I speak little of fleshly "wants" here. They are not missing, but to me they seem unimportant compared to the former. Actually, the former is what held the latter in check.
 
Hi Ken,

You know much about what I am speaking about, and learned it at an early age in a "hard school". "Wanting" and striving to be who and what you think you "are" or "are supposed to be and accomplish" is one of the great driving forces in life. We build these images and ideas at an early age, and then continue to tweak them through young adulthood only to run into the barriers and compromises that real life demands. When you reach a place where you not only did not accomplish and become what you thought you wanted, you can feel thwarted and resentful that life has let you down (or you have let life down), hating the world or yourself. But when you come to a place where the images and ideals you held about these things crumble there is an emptiness. Life is no longer about striving for something that really inspires and motivates. It does not therefore become all darkness. For me there is still family and duty. The wolf is still at the door and has to be kept at bay. Spring will come in due course. But much of the color has drained out. In an important way, life has lost meaning and direction and has become merely continuing. Lesser wants/vices invade because the strong disdain for them in the face of imagined higher goals has disappeared. Why not take comfort in excess or indolence or etc.? The trail is long and then you die.

This is where the "search" comes in. Even if one has lost the direction that some higher goal in and for life provided, this does not mean that there is not one out there. However, it may not be one that I can "find"--it may have to "find" me. This search doesn't completely fill the "gap" but it is the best I can find at the moment. It gives me hope.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--I have been studying the thought of Simone Weil of late, and have found it to be a great inspiration in some respects. She was also, curiously enough, a great admirer of the Cathars. But more on that another time.
 
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S&S, I took/take the Biblical thing about my body seriously and still do, so I quit smoking years ago [after all, you only have to quit just one -the next one] and never liked alcohol, the only *weed* I had was given to me by a nurse in California, and a house-keeper took it at the motel where I was staying by myself.

Incidentally, my middle name is of a French ancestor who was given an area of the New World, about the area of the Carolina's if he would leave France, he was a bad acter, and a good dualist.
 
Hi Ken,

I understand on these things. I got boozed up a couple of times as an adolescent (which is pretty typical). I didn't like it. I already felt awkward and clumsy, and it made me feel reaaaalllly awkward, clumsy AND stupid. :confused: Plus, lots of alcoholics in family lines. I have had a chance to see this problem up close and personal--it wasn't for me--plus it didn't fit who/what I wanted to be/do. In terms of smoking, I had asthma as a child and decided once again this wasn't for me and the future I was planning, so I never started. ;) On drugs I have an interesting quirk. I explain it to Drs. when they ask for allergies to various things as having an "atypical" reaction to drugs. I.e., I have had Valium twice that I know of for medical procedures. Both times it did not calm me down, it made me hyper. Back in the 80s I used to get nitrous oxide as part of my dental, until I had a really weird kind of silent freak-out experience one time and said never more. I was offered MJ twice in my early 20s as a "social" thing and since I was pretty desperate to fit in at the time I took it. Once again, no joy. It just made me feel extremely anxious and a bit paranoid. :eek: In any case, none of it fit into what I wanted to be/do. Actually, my greatest vice is probably indolence/sloth. Without something that I actually want to be/do to motivate me, I tend to grind to a halt. E.g., food and exercise. I always hated exercise for the sake of exercise + I like to eat. Motivation towards something disappears and I put on 30+ pounds I need to lose plus high blood pressure, etc.

Your remark on your ancestor is really interesting. Please elaborate, especially on the "dualism".

Cordially,
S&S
 
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We've lived quite similar lives S&S, I have a funny story to tell. While in my first rehab hospital, a friend there tried to leave this life and took his entire container of Valium, he was shaken awake by a friend by an old friend that he hadn't seen in five years and thought he had dyed/died [I found that dyed is propper]. I'm about the weight I was in 1959, but it isn't much muscle.
 
This is a jump-back to my post #153 where I discussed Cathars among the Huguenots with the result (since some Huguenots ended up in Louisianna) of Cajun Cathars (at least in terms of heritage). However, I had not realized that both movements were from the same geographical area. Thus, I found the following quote from a historian interesting:

"One of the interesting things to reflect on with regard to the Albigensian Crusade is how effective was it in fact? What is interesting about the area of southwestern France where the Albigensian Crusade was directed is the fact that that very same area became the hotbed of the development of French Calvinism, the Huegenot movement, in the 16th century. While it can be said that the Albigensian Crusade may have failed, it may have simply driven heretical movement and heretical feelings underground only to resurface again at the time of the 16th century French religious wars."

So, the Languedoc remained a "hotbed" for rebellion against the religious powers of the day. Plus, since it was from the same region and presented another avenue for rebellion, it may have been natural for hereditary Cathars to become a part of this new movement.

S&S
 
Hi Ken,

Hittites? I'm not following you. o_O

However, you still owe me details on that dualist ancestor. ;)

Cordially,
S&S
 
We never hear from any Hittites!
My paternal grandmother claimed that French politician was a great womanizer and dualist, and they gave him an area of the New World of about the Carolinas if he would move there. I have not ever found it on the internet.
 
KenJ said:
We never hear from any Hittites!
My paternal grandmother claimed that French politician was a great womanizer and dualist, and they gave him an area of the New World of about the Carolinas if he would move there. I have not ever found it on the internet.
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Hi, Sorry I have been on and off with posting. Have had a series of medical issues which have been unrelenting. I can relate to what Sea and Sky said about diet and exercise. I just cannot get into exercise even though I make lukewarm attempts. The Cathar lifestyle involves discipline of the body in terms of food. I have easily merged into the other disciplines except fasting. After one particularly delicious pasta dish I felt guilty. That night I experienced one of my lesson dreams. They always pretty much lay me out there with something I am falling short in. This one was the relationship of food to the body. I was shown it has nothing to do with denying yourself something you love, it was continuing to eat padt nourishment of the body. Also, that I was supposed to respect my body more than filling myself up because I wanted to. The cathar perspective was the body of spirit over physical body. Unless you have undergone the endura, we need to eat to live. There was nothing wrong with loving something yummy, but in my case, I should be more reflective to stop when your body tells you you are full. Not merrily going on because it was fun. I was shown I need to understand the meaning of excess. Anything done in excess has crossed into 'want'. To be free of want was the desired state of being. What I saw from these women in my regression was to fill your person up with understanding. Not in some preaching way, but rather to find the incredible serenity of understanding that you were a light that was housed in your physical being until you were able to leave that and return to light, or home. If your soul light is housed within the body, then the emphasis on having seconds or being part of the clean-plate-club would be excess. I must be a dismal disappointment since my lesson dreams seem to be on pause. I was shown in my regression that the cathars are here now, alive now, because it was our choice. That this world was in some ways too busy that finding serenity was difficult. Also, that they believe there is only 1 time and that Montsegur, as well as all the other places, recorded.. and not recorded are existing in one moment of time. I still struggle with that concept. Next, for any who are yearning for a carthar parfait to somehow still be hear, the message I wad given is to remember. There are tons of us alive now, both parfaits and believers..or rather to have chosen to be in this lifetime. They were so happy about my celibacy decision because they saw that as remembering, bringing it with me again. Please trust your inner paths, please give a lot of emphasis to areas you cannot put your finger on, were not instructed, but somehow it feels to be true. A danger is to feel that is not valid until backed up in something published. The cathars did not leave volumes of written materials. What I was shown was that as time is one, your access to who you were/are exists now. The answers we seek are within our memories already. Know thyself, ask for those windows to be clear once more. Look within for what you seek you already have. When something resonates to someone's post, it can be because you liked what they said or maybe truer still your veil is becoming clearing and someone elses words are helping you to unlock that door.
 
Ps: when the time is right, I would love to agree on a specific date and time, including those in other time zones. But to choose a specific moment when all kindred cathars had agreed to meditate at the same time. In a quiet place and time, go inward, and inward still. And when we attain that moment of being, to try to connect with each other then. From my highest self to your highest self and so on. To try to reclaim that as a whole, together. Imagine a mist leaving the top of your head, now imagine it has its own light, its own radiance. Then imagine that highest form of self, connecting silently, with intent and purpose, free of self, imagine that light somehow being a beacon in a dark night. We need to begin to connect. When we are able to, imagine the impact that may have a chance of manifesting. In that place.. try to imagine letting some of that expand outwards in a type of healing gesture towards this planet and each other. Each other too, heal the traumas of the past, let go of fear and pain, be fully in the now, become familiar with our old ties, seek to know each other once again.. and lastly become free of ego and self and lets discover together what that level of compassion can begin to hush and silent our raging planet. We can share what we have, but to all you must recognize what already dwells within you. Go inward and when we are ready, for any interested, together we will discover our purpose for being here now. Everyone in equality, understanding the keys to unlock our learning, share with all as parts of the whole. Then be an impact for healing this realm of destruction all around us now. So much violence and hatred and letting egos matter above all else. To all, please recognize who you are, then we will simply move forward. Lets try to leave something better than we found.
 
Thank you Kaye. What you have shared here resonates with me, though I don't necessarily identify as Cathar. Still, it means something to me.
 
Hi Kaye,

The idea of synchronized meditation is very good. However, I think it would be best if it was something that has room to grow. I.e., whether it is weekly or monthly, a day and time is set aside that it accessible for (hopefully) Western Europe and the Americas--and this exercise continues on a regular schedule. For example, 1:00 a.m. Eastern Standard Time every Saturday, which would be 12:00 a.m. Central, 11:00 p.m. on Friday, Mountain Time, and 10:00 p.m. Friday on the West coast. Someone else will need to figure out the times in Europe. ;)

Cordially,
S&S
 
SeaAndSky said:
Hi Kaye,

The idea of synchronized meditation is very good. However, I think it would be best if it was something that has room to grow. I.e., whether it is weekly or monthly, a day and time is set aside that it accessible for (hopefully) Western Europe and the Americas--and this exercise continues on a regular schedule. For example, 1:00 a.m. Eastern Standard Time every Saturday, which would be 12:00 a.m. Central, 11:00 p.m. on Friday, Mountain Time, and 10:00 p.m. Friday on the West coast. Someone else will need to figure out the times in Europe. ;)

Cordially,
S&S
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Absolutely yes. I think that combined energy is a beautiful gesture. It really should not exclude anyone, rather if someone feels something, the door must remain open to embrace. We are so much more than words alone. Not all who were cathar may choose that once more, but most certainly they would carry retrospect from that. We are collections of many, many doorways. The light within is of spirit, which we all share on our personal journey. I do believe that some abroad might resonate with this. Together we absolutely can make a difference. That type of energy heals old wounds. Extending yourself past your immediate surroundings initially may feel awkward if someone is not used to that. When you break through it comes from the inside outward. When I close my eyes I feel the collective wisdom each person brings. I think a lot of us across the forum have wondered why am I here now. Together we can find our center. There is a pure quality of channeled intent. It resonates outward and we can do so much good. A hush and tranquility is needed more now than ever. I want more than anything for everyone to really understand and validate the lessons of life we all share. We are all here now, that is fact. Its like some translucent thread that runs through you. We are more than words. Something lush is in all of us. Sincere gestures are healing in a magnificent way.
 
Hi Kaye,

Another thing that I think would be a very valuable adjunct to the first would be an online forum/board like this one for Cathars and Catharism. There needs to be a place for people to come together and share their ideas, insight and research--including what is recovered via the group meditation described above. A lot can happen on reincarnationforum.com, but this is a board that specifically excludes and/or seriously limits theological discussions, and there is a specific Cathar theology, Bible interpretation, Mysticism, etc. to be recovered, shared and expounded. There are also many topics that should be open for discussion that do not simply relate to reincarnation and may be highly charged from a religious stand-point. Likewise, there may be a variety of people who are interested from a cultural/heritage standpoint that do not have an in-depth interest in either the religious topics or the re-institution of a modern form of Catharism. So, I think it should be open to people physically descended from Cathar ancestors, as well as from those who lived as Cathars in a past lifetime or are simply interested in the topic. Anyhow, just an idea that has been on my mind for awhile.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--Obviously, such a forum would also serve as an avenue to communicate and provide information related to the types of group Cathar meditation being discussed to those who might be interested in participation.
 
Hi Kaye,

More on your post #169, which I believe hits on a great number of very deep concepts. I can only touch on a few.

First, from my standpoint, what you have said takes some of the pressure off in terms of recovering the knowledge/wisdom that was destroyed by the inquisition. I know, of course, that all the knowledge is out there in the "mystical" sense. It is known on high, but it seems like a difficult thing to access at this level of being. However, as you say, it is not lost to those who can personally access it by transcending their current temporally limited mind-set and consciousness and becoming their true selves, where what was known in the past becomes part of an extended "present" and memory for a larger Self that is not bound by those limitations. It is a calming thought.

Second, I identify very strongly with what you have said about being filled with "understanding". This is the driving force for me, the recovery of "understanding". I feel like there was a way of understanding, e.g., existence, the message of Christ, and the Biblical witness that was much fuller and self-evident than what I was reared with. I have slowly peeled away a variety of layers of mis-translation and theological mis-interpretation, but there is still so far to go. I have an aching awareness that it all used to make perfect sense and that it is intended to make perfect sense. I am also intuitively convinced that much that is represented about Cathar beliefs based on the records of the Inquisition and a few surviving texts is distorted and (quite frankly) does not make sense in the way that I intuitively believe that it should. You give me some hope that I can bridge this gap in the way you suggest, and (even if slowly) recover what has been lost without recourse to long lost and possibly non-existent (from a physical standpoint) texts and records.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--From an exercise standpoint, no one who was not extremely wealthy and indolent had to worry about getting enough exercise in those days. It was part of everyone's struggle to survive and thrive in a non-mechanized technologically primitive world. Everyone walked and everyone worked--a lot! The Good Men and Good Women were expected to stay busy, and they stayed busy walking from village to village to spread their beliefs and heal, working to support themselves, working to help others, and engaging in a variety of other day-to-day tasks that were beneficial to themselves or other. They got plenty of physical exercise without having to think of it as a separate bodily need. We live in a strange age that uses calisthenics, exercise classes or equipment to accomplish what most of them were required to do just to get along and stay alive.

PPS--I'd like to start meditating and beginning what you have suggested this coming Friday evening (actually Saturday morning at 1:00 a.m.). It won't hurt me, and hopefully some others will start joining in. What are your thoughts on this?
 
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SeaAndSky said:
Hi Kaye,

More on your post #169, which I believe hits on a great number of very deep concepts. I can only touch on a few.

First, from my standpoint, what you have said takes some of the pressure off in terms of recovering the knowledge/wisdom that was destroyed by the inquisition. I know, of course, that all the knowledge is out there in the "mystical" sense. It is known on high, but it seems like a difficult thing to access at this level of being. However, as you say, it is not lost to those who can personally access it by transcending their current temporally limited mind-set and consciousness and becoming their true selves, where what was known in the past becomes part of an extended "present" and memory for a larger Self that is not bound by those limitations. It is a calming thought.

Second, I identify very strongly with what you have said about being filled with "understanding". This is the driving force for me, the recovery of "understanding". I feel like there was a way of understanding, e.g., existence, the message of Christ, and the Biblical witness that was much fuller and self-evident than what I was reared with. I have slowly peeled away a variety of layers of mis-translation and theological mis-interpretation, but there is still so far to go. I have an aching awareness that it all used to make perfect sense and that it is intended to make perfect sense. I am also intuitively convinced that much that is represented about Cathar beliefs based on the records of the Inquisition and a few surviving texts is distorted and (quite frankly) does not make sense in the way that I intuitively believe that it should. You give me some hope that I can bridge this gap in the way you suggest, and (even if slowly) recover what has been lost without recourse to long lost and possibly non-existent (from a physical standpoint) texts and records.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--From an exercise standpoint, no one who was not extremely wealthy and indolent had to worry about getting enough exercise in those days. It was part of everyone's struggle to survive and thrive in a non-mechanized technologically primitive world. Everyone walked and everyone worked--a lot! The Good Men and Good Women were expected to stay busy, and they stayed busy walking from village to village to spread their beliefs and heal, working to support themselves, working to help others, and engaging in a variety of other day-to-day tasks that were beneficial to themselves or other. They got plenty of physical exercise without having to think of it as a separate bodily need. We live in a strange age that uses calisthenics, exercise classes or equipment to accomplish what most of them were required to do just to get along and stay alive.

PPS--I'd like to start meditating and beginning what you have suggested this coming Friday evening (actually Saturday morning at 1:00 a.m.). It won't hurt me, and hopefully some others will start joining in. What are your thoughts on this?
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I have such an incredibly strong vibe about you. Yes, I agree and that time feels good. It a go. The vibe I get about you do strongly is that you were there at Montsegur. I wanted to tell you months ago but reconnecting with that has to come on its own. It pulls you back. Those simplistic concepts are so clear. In my regression I am watching, who I believe to be Rixende de Telle, kneeling on a stone floor. She is very thin, older, shoulder length grey hair sort of hawkish nose. Dark midnight blue cape or outer covering and some shapeless white shift. Zero design, just draped in that, something around her waist. She is kneeling in front of like 1 low stone step, but in the middle of a room. Zero adornment. I am so moved by the simplicity of her gesture. Not kneeling at a church or any religious things. She is humbling herself beneath something greater, an understanding of her place within forever. Her light, the eternal transfer from one state of being to another. Silently. As an avt of reverence, to be carried by her understanding. To be free of desire, female as opposed to woman. I have never been so moved in my life. To see something so plain mean so much. Such parting wisdom that was important to understand, we chose to be here now. It was by choice and these are hard times. And this is particularly for you because I know what it will mean to you.. the word death was never used, it was referred to as transitioning. We are 'gathered by force withou a destination', and that I cannot see a tomorrow. There is a moment before burning where we are standing very clise together. Silent, the silence is important. Because we understood that was our moment, the moment, to return to light. Those very moments gave off its own light, that silent close standing together. Chaos everywhere and what I call orange light swirling around us. But those moments were imprinted on us and where they are now, it still surrounds them . A moment of time which still ecists because there is only one time, all time is one. I cannot express how incredible that is, to willingly cross together, to pass with grace, to go inward and inward to block out physical pain. So moments and gestures can be an eternal passage. I know you specifically will understand that. I agree, we should start this week.
 
Hi Kaye,

Wonderful memories and great post. I will be participating at 1 a.m. on Saturday morning. However, I feel bound to let you know that your assurance that I was at Montsegur brought a great feeling of fear and anxiety. I also woke up earlier than usual this morning, haunted by the same fear and unable to go back to sleep. This is the way it is with me. Feelings instead of images. If I was there, and I am increasingly thinking that I was, I do not think I had the training to enable me to cope with the situation the way your group did.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--I should also add that this type of fear reaction is not typical for me.
 
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SeaAndSky said:
Hi Kaye,

Wonderful memories and great post. I will be participating at 1 a.m. on Saturday morning. However, I feel bound to let you know that your assurance that I was at Montsegur brought a great feeling of fear and anxiety. I also woke up earlier than usual this morning, haunted by the same fear and unable to go back to sleep. This is the way it is with me. Feelings instead of images. If I was there, and I am increasingly thinking that I was, I do not think I had the training to enable me to cope with the situation the way your group did.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--I should also add that this type of fear reaction is not typical for me.
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I initially felt the same. I actually had 2 weeks of intense crying out of nowhere, feelings of panic, agony and finally developing large bruises and broken blood vessels on lower legs, upper arms and chest. Was sure I had lupus. My rheumatologist ran blood tests and no. Took months to subside. In my case, it happened out of nowhere, no catalyst. I had an in depth regression, certain nothing would be there but over an hour. Not until I was able to see the mindset, see the discipline and understand did I not feel uneasiness. I feel what you are saying. Please send me a conversation if you want to discuss privately. At this stage it will be purposeful meditation, knowing I am doing same and with any cathar minded souls. You know who you are. If this feels right, then have a scheduled night per week. It begins simplistic, becoming familiar with finding your quiet place inside. Once you can feel that, imagine a white light shining on the top of your head. When I first started I literally had to shine a flashlight on the top of my head to understand what that may look like. Next was visualizing on my own. The next step progresses to imagining your internal light being able to release in a safe place, within that space. When we get to comfort level, the following 'meetings' involve imaginging that you can feel, percieve, are comforted by others doing same. One flame blends into 2 and so on. The end result being the intent to channel that into one connection, one flame, a pulse within the night. That energy we learn to direct as a healing vibe.
 
Ps: Fear is before understanding. There is nothing glamorous about what happened. I can say what I was shown was intense training to be able to go inward. Reminded me of those holy men in India who can walk over coals. Same premise. To be in a place of internal trance, meditation, prayer, whatever that state is.. and allow yourself to pass. They were prepared internally, dont forget it was by choice. Had they renounced they could have left. When your soul yearns to go home and you understand it must happen, you let it be so. Fear is when you are standing in the doorway. When understanding replaces that your soul is filled with purpose. I was told, Endure what you must as we did, then you step into forever and forever is simply forever.
 
Hi Kaye,

Thanks, thanks and thanks again! The reassurance received by hearing about your own experiences was very beneficial at this point. My strong sense this morning was that I did not, by any means, want to revisit that time and place, much less re-live what happened there. However, you give me a sense that what needs to be done CAN be done, and that the reward more than justifies the risk. Thanks also for the instructions. I will be practicing as I can for Saturday at 1:00 a.m. Hopefully it will be the first of many.

Cordially,
S&S

PS--To all others who feel called to join in this--welcome!
 
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