Recurring themes of struggle and survival in lives

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by DiscoKitten, Dec 11, 2020.

  1. DiscoKitten

    DiscoKitten Senior Member

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    I regressed years ago to a 1500's PL as an orphan boy in England who at 8 years old had to beg borrow and steal to survive. I remember getting chastized, a tongue lashing if you will by an Italian/Spanish dark complexioned wealthy merchant for stealing something of little value from him. He wanted to dehumanize me as it made him feel powerful. I did not understand as a small boy why this man got off on scolding a poor child so harshly. Others would have let the boy have the item/money as it was such an insignificant amount of money. I zoned out and let the man screech at me. It seemed as if though he enjoyed the sound of his own authoritarian voice. I still remember him. Swarthy looking. Very wealthy. Long nose. And dark wavy hair that fell loosly over his shoulders. He had a hat with a feather. Dark boots. He was not Christopher Columbus but dressed just like the way a man would dress in those times. He seemed to be a traveling merchant not from Britain/United Kingdom and I could tell he was very privileged unlike myself. I was destitute and an orphan he probably had family money. I never was able to support myself properly in that life. It was a hard sad life with no parents and nobody who loved or cared for me. I am sure I envied children with families and those who cared for them. I died young but the common theme I had to learn in that life was SURVIVAL.

    Fast forward to present life. I had a tough childhood. My parents were very strict, and very authoritative yet extremely neglectful. I could not even go to school on time due to my mother not allowing me to wake up early, my mother not making dinner in a timely fashion so I can get a full night of rest, not much help with homework, not being able to play sports since nobody cared about my development and nobody would have driven me to and from practice or come to my matches. I asked why I chose this life when I regressed and went under. I asked if I had done something awful in a PL (I was actually hoping I had) b/c I know I did not deserve this life. The life mentioned above as the Old England orphan came up. Thats when I was shown that life. Apparently in that life I starved to death and I had felt that with authoritative parents I would never miss a meal. Which is why I chose this life to be born into. It is true my mother was a health nut but that did nothing for my mental well being. Only nutritional well being.

    I have become successful in this life. Great career due to me being steadfast in my academic achievements, beautiful loft condo, and driving a luxury car. However, the theme in this life was I will have no control over my life. I only have control over myself but none over my life. In my younger neglected days I too struggled to survive and make a future for myself. I wasnt popular or pretty that I could marry a wealthy man and live well. It was up to me to make a life for myself and it was a struggle. No help from family.

    When I look at orphans in foster care, or people suffering in third world nations, I feel a strong sense of empathy and want to do what I can to help them. However if I see a drug addict from a good family wasting their life, I just feel anger and even envy. Like if I had their life, I would not be squandering it away

    I have already had a life where I had to survive to stay alive. Why is this theme coming back up. I think my survival skills are strong. Why are my lives filled with this survival mechanism that comes up??? I have checked the box of survival in a past lifetime why did it come up again?

    People like to put me down b/c when I choose a career it always was based on how much money I would make. Nothing else. Whether it was doable and lucrative. That was it. I dont even know what I would choose to do if I could choose my profession. People who only work professions that they enjoy seem to come from a great deal of privilege. Not every one has the means to only work jobs they enjoy. Some of us have no help from family spouses or benefits that we can enjoy that. That is why to put someone down for working a job or choosing a career strictly based on income potential is extremely privileged and elitist. Those are people in my opinion who have never really had to struggle for survival and never felt helpless the way I have felt in my lifetimes. I am being told a lot by astrologers and an app called "The Pattern" that I need to work a job that helps others. Which I enjoy doing in the form of volunteering. Or being told that my true calling is a job that serves others or has creative potential. I do not understand why am I given a life where I have to depend on myself and my survival skills but then also work a job that is of service to others and is supposed to be creative at the same time. If my true calling was to be creative/serve others/serve the environment, why not have me be born to a wealthy family where I didnt have to worry about money and could just work a non profit job and have all my needs met by my family or a spouse when they could not be met by my job provider?
     

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