Remembering a past life as a Waffen-SS officer - my story

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by BenjaminFR, Oct 5, 2018.

  1. briski

    briski Senior Registered

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    I've said it before, but I do find it interesting that reincarnated German soldiers seem to remember more than the allied solders it would seem. Certainly appears that way on this forum. I know theres a few allied soldiers on here but are heavily outnumbered.
     
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  2. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi All,

    On the subject of soldiers remembering past lives, you may be interested in reviewing the Gen. George Patton thread:

    reincarnationforum.com/threads/general-george-s-patton-thread.642/

    It has some interesting discussions re Patton, who remembered many past lives as a soldier/warrior and on warrior souls in general. You'll also have a chance to read Patton's poetry. On that subject I can only say that he was a better General than a poet. Nonetheless, he expresses things in a manner that is strong, forthright and often gripping. I especially like two of his poems that are posted on his PLs and on Valor.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  3. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    You are raising a very interesting point, Ritter, when you mention the other lives you remember.

    I have kept quiet about other lives that I seem to have memories of. Not all of them are warrior lives, but all seem to be related to warfare. I do not wish, yet, to elaborate as it is much harder to have an idea of who exactly those identities were, but I have odd connections with characters such as Scipio Africanus, the dreaded Mongol General Subotai (not for being them, that I'm sure, but I feel like knowing them), I've had visions of a Roman collumn I walked with, or witnessing a siege from the perspective of a muslim army in the 13th century. This and the blacksmith scene I remember vividly in a regression, from an unknown point of the Middle Age.

    Another recurring memory that I've been aware of since my childhood, and saw in many visions, was being either the captain or high-ranking officer in a sailing battlship. I loved how the crew worked as one organism to extract the most of our ship. I now have fear of swimming in open waters, and was very gifted as a child when I learned extremely fast how to sail boats and harness the wind effortlessly.

    It's funny that you mention those SS ceremonies. They greatly puzzled me, at the time. I didn't like the mystical aspect of it, as I was pretty much focused - and committed 100% - on being a reliable, and performing officer.

    As for the war crimes.

    I do not have enough background knowledge to judge on the massacres of POWs. What I can tell you is regarding the execution of partisans that ended up in our nets.

    One of the most vivid memories I have is shooting a young Russian that we caught laying mines in a ditch. He was by all means what we called a partizan, and I had at the moment no afterthoughts when pulling the trigger of my Kar98. But since I have been granted the memories of my life after life, it is a scene that I have revisited countless times. I wouldn't say I feel guilt for doing it, but I wished things played out differently. While I remember that the expected attitude in the Waffen-SS would be ruthlessness towards any paramilitary actors who would get involved in the battle. Laying mines especially was punished with instant execution, for we suffered large amount of casualties from these very impersonal death traps. We had tremendous hate for the ones who would engage in such a vile form of warfare.

    That being said, everything that happened in this front was an abomination. Executions of these prisonners was the opposite of what being human is. While I understand why it was done, with the logic of the era, I now despise it and wish only to tell it so that we, the human race, can know in what abbyss we fell when we wrestled the Soviet Union. It should neither be forgotten nor justified, only explained, for the sake of trying to erase it from our shared future.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2018
  4. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Hello Ritter!

    I am not surprised that you ended up getting accointed with the Russian culture. I have never had a strong interest for it for the modern history, but I got to study the pre-revolution history and I find it fascinating.

    As for martial arts, ha, for me it was Krav Maga. Really liked it. I am thinking of learning a Chinese martial art because there are a lot of different schools and philosophies that I am interest in.

    As for which methods I used for regression, most of my memories came as flashes or more rarely dreams. I only ever did 2 regression sessions, with trained therapists, and they filled me with content to fill many books, for what they have opened up in me. I didn't do any self regressions, and while I don't doubt their effectiveness, I am too terrified to face the abyss alone.
     
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  5. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Well, I would say that the hardest thing to cope with, in the regressions I did with therapists, is how easy it was to feel at home during the wartime memories. I was shocked by the visual memories, of course, but physically shaken when I saw how familiar the chaos was. That's one thing that made me understand the nature of Eugen's military career. He was hardened and got used to the constant fighting.

    That being said, I remember a lot of what I experienced after I died.

    I think that, to make it clearer to everyone, I would need to explain the nature of the link i feel I have with Eugen (@briski that answers your question in another post!)

    I share Eugen's memory, of that I am convinced. But I am not Eugen, I am Benjamin. I am a peaceful person, open-minded and absolutely against violence. I never lost touch with my personality. Eugen died in 1943 and so did his appetance for the war. The moment he was killed, he shed the garments of hate that the circumstances of Life put on his back, and started a brutal process of self-contemplation that I happen to remember almost most clearly that his life. I start to feel that we are one when he is on this process. In his life, I sometimes can't recognize myself. Because he was trained, he was hardened, and he lost himself in this brutal war. Once freed of this hate that consumed him, then only do I feel that we are one, and ultimately this healing process led to the moment I was reborn.

    When I relieve his memories, it's sometimes too painful to handle. It's so sad. Sad to see that he was born with abilities, and yet the course of History led him to use these to destroy. I personally do not wish to dive into it anymore. And as I said, not alone because I need this lifeline of having a therapist here with me to help me on these journeys.

    I always mention the abyss because I see this period as a big hole that the human race has dug on its course, you see. I spent hours, days, weeks, months, of my younger years looking deep into it. Of what was the nature of what happened. But I stopped because my experience told me that when you spend too much time staring at the abyss, you realize that the abyss stares back at you.
     
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  6. briski

    briski Senior Registered

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    I suspect you are what Eugen would have been without war roughly, As the "you" is the conciousness. I think we do change from our environment but essentially we stay simliar when reincarnating, i guess the exception would be a gender change, even then i imagine there would be traits
     
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  7. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Hello Briski, and thank you for your answer.

    It is a very elegant idea, I will meditate on this. What would Eugen have been if he was to live in peace.

    Overall you know, this story has been fantastic "food" for questioning regarding what identity is.

    I hang around a meditation group here in Shanghai, and I have discussed with people who are knowledgeable in the Yogic sciences. Some of them have shared with me their view on the different aspects of what we call our "consciousness", and I was very interested in hearing their view on the different levels of memory we carry. Some levels are sullied by memory, some are not. I hope I didn't make a travesty of their knowledge, and would be happy to see someone correcting me if I made a mistake in my short explanation.

    But yes. There is a bond between us. The exact nature of it is source of wonder for me but I am also very focused on not forgeting that, ultimately, it doesn't really matter, as the only thing that I care about is to live a meaningful and joyful life. I investigated the possibility of my visions being memories of a past life when I realized that something deep and dark prevented me from living this meaningful and joyful life.

    After this fantastic ride to the past, I am not light as a feather everyday but I am happy everyday I open my eyes in the morning. All the rest is commentaries.
     
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  8. briski

    briski Senior Registered

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    Slightly off topic
    But here is a link on current science thinking on conciousness

    https://bigthink.com/paul-ratner/wh...consciousness-originates-at-the-quantum-level
     
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  9. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Hello Tanker!

    I am going to write a short answer to your very interesting and emotional message, as I am going to bed :D

    I completely understand what you are talking about. I also lived with a huge weight on my shoulders. It was very hard to carry, especially since it took me some time to even acknowledge that I could remember past traumas.

    I spent many of my childhood years in huge emotional pain, and I also had some not very happy moments growing up that scarred me. I did years of therapy to deal with my current life's wounds, and when I went through it, I was in despair to realize that there was something more raw, more deeply hidden, and I started to investigate it, because I could not live my life the way I wanted to. I lost too many of my youth to let it aside.

    I was lucky, as you said, to have trained professionals that believed me and helped me on thi journey of forgiveness.

    I also think it was very important for me to acknowledge Eugen, as I got to know his name, and say things that had been left unsaid to the people he had influenced by his decisions. You know I met his family. It is perhaps the key to my healing. But the core work was to be able to put a name and an identity to start the grieving process.

    As for you, my dear friend, I think that you are now embarking on a journey of discoveries that will surely lift your spirit and place this experience of being Heinz in its rightful place. He is there and will always be there, as Eugen is for me. I pray regularly for Heinz to find the peace he deserves, once you will be ready to reach that point! He will then be a source of joy to you, and no doubt that you two will have the most amazing link.

    I look forward to see you grow and I am already honoured to have read your words and seen you, step by step, grow from the very first message you posted.

    All the best to you, and those whose past is still around :)
     
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  10. Ritter

    Ritter Banned by Moderators

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    But you know, to be truly spiritual you are supposed to be like everyone else who is truly spiritual, up to and including an unassailable bubbling happiness and gluten intolerance. ;)
    It's very northern European to be introverted and stoic, there is nothing wrong with that at all. On the contrary.
     
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  11. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Haha you're right, it's not going to change who he is.

    As for the reference to gluten etc, it reminds me of a lot of people I met in my life that draped themselves in the clothes of "spirituality", who happened to have a big price tag :D they often forgot the first step, which actually is to act spiritual:D

    I think the key to living a happy life is to accept that you'll not always be happy.
     
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  12. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Okay, I think I understand your question.

    I am going to give you a rather personal answer, as I think that it might have not been very clear in my previous posts.

    I embraced Eugen's personality. However stupid that might sound, I don't think anyone here alive knows him the way I do. I have taken the burden of researching his life thoroughly and I do very much remember what he did, the man he was, the way he thought.

    I don't think I am a sheep in this life. I am not perverted by our modern society, in the way that I disregard the truth. The search for Truth is pretty much what led me to experience this adventure, because I seeked the truth, objectively, from my visions, and then because I was true to my memories, I unraveled a lot of historical information that allowed me to have a very clear picture of who Eugen was and in which era he lived.

    And seeking the truth out of the visions I had of the afterlife and what I experienced there has led me to have a VERY clear outlook on what happened during this stint in the Waffen-SS.

    I have told already how I am against the general narative of saying "All SS were monsters". I do believe the Soviet Union was a beast that displayed unbelievable levels of violence, probably more horrendous on the battlefield that we would ever do. I view Eugen as a man who did what he felt was is duty, he answered the call and fought to the death to protect with honor what he believed in. As for every brave soldier of this war, he and all others deserves our respect and our prayers.

    But I also despise the war we fought and I wish, above all things, that every nation will study and teach the facts to make sure that this violence remains in the history books, and not live news.

    As for being docile, I don't think i am. In fact I smile now when I see how much of a fighter I have been in my life. Through pain, through hardness, through the loss of hope, I never stopped to work and fight for what I believe is right and just. I will never stand to injustice and will always make my voice heard when some evil-minded people try to be unjust. I have faced every modern challenge you can face: I have experienced death, I was hungry, I had no perspectives, got taken right back down even when I thought things couldn't get any worse, and yet I always worked towards building me, my family, my friends and all the rest of us humans a safe and peaceful place to coexist. I don't mean to brag but, because I had to take side routes to have a future, I left all I knew and achieved things few have experienced.

    I think being true to myself - the true self, the one that never dies - and living, working and fighting for peace is probably the best tribute I can pay to Eugen and all those who died too early because we never stopped laying the seeds of violence in the many hearts of Mankind.

    Sure, I have been SS-Standartenführer, I have been many things before, but today I am Benjamin and I play the melody the way it was written for me this life. Will I play the part well? I don't know, I hope it will be a colourful one, but I for one refuse to play the songs of the past.
     
  13. briski

    briski Senior Registered

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    Don't forget you have played the part of many people before Eugen, and probably know of more lives that were during peaceful times rather than war. We have been incarnating for a very long time, Ive read articles of crazy amount of years we have. Not quite sure where they get the figures from but its a long long time
     
  14. Ritter

    Ritter Banned by Moderators

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    If only ALL men were like that, yes. Sadly there is all kinds, and unless good men get hardened and do something about bad men (and women, sometimes) and their actions, or against bad causes, bad takes over and becomes permanent.
    The only reason it hasn't happened is because of a very even struggle that has been going on for a very long time.
     
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  15. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Hello Tanker,

    Thank you for your kind message. I want to specifically answer your point regarding how I came to terms with the people I've killed, since it is a heavy burden that you carry aswell.

    I will tell in details a memory I have, that initally I wanted to be left untold here. But I think it might give you some insight on how I dealt with it.

    One of my strongest memories, one that came frequently during my teenage years -pre meditation and regressions it was already clear.

    I basically shot a kid. Maybe 15 or 16, but he was very much a kid. He was standing, hands tied behind his back, I was behind him and I shot him in the head.

    I had in regression a clear outlook on how this played out. My unit had caught this lone boy, in civilian clothes, and I was told he was caught burying a small mine in a roadside ditch. It was clear to me that nothing valuable would be learne from this young man, so I ordered his execution and we gave him a shovel to dig his own grave. He dug a ridiculous, 30 or 40 cms deep grave and was miserable throughtout. He was sobbing and after a while I asked one man to get him up, tie his hands and place him in by his grave. Surprisingly he stopped sobbing. I was passed a rifle, leaned forward, aimed at the base of his skull and shot. He fell immediately and that was the end of it.

    There was little emotions during this. I did it so that my men wouldn't have to. I never considered sparing his life because this is what we had become.

    When I died, I told you how I felt like I was roaming some cold, endless fields. I kept being carried to this memory, many times, to explore what had happened. I was shown the truth, who this kid was, how he ended up there, everything he felt during our time together.

    He was a kid, living his life in his wooden house, and never experienced anything before the frontlines reached his village. I was shown Soviet partizans convincing this very inexperienced man to roam around and bury landmines at spots he was told to. He must have done it barely once or twice until a patrol got him. It took him a while to realize what would happen. In his scared mind, he kept thinking that the game would be over and that we would send him out, back to his village and his mum with a slap on the face. Yet, he was facing me, and when he had his hands tied, he stopped sobbing and imagined his mum cooking, the main room of his wooden house. I don't think he fully understood that he was already dead. My shot was meant to kill before he touched the ground. His whole body contracted, hands in spasms, but he was dead already, my bullet entering the back of his skull right at its base.

    And yet, this boy came to me many times when I was roaming the fields. I heard his voice, first, but I never looked at his face because I did not want to see the wound. First time I saw his face, on the other side, was when I was lying on the ground, crying and devastated. He was above me and looked at me with very curious,and yet kind eyes. Such a contrast with the horrific injury he had. Yet when I saw him, he smiled and the wound was gone. He wanted me to see what I had done. But he came to me peacefully, and told me a lot about us and how we ended upfacing each other in our earthly lives. We talked about the parts we played, and he surprised me greatly when he mentioned that I had a tough part to play aswell. I was so in pain for this poor fellow, and what i had done to him. I remember that, while reviewing my life, I experienced this scene countless times and I tried, and tried, and tried to change the outcome. I tried to jump on the rifle, only to pass through it, I tried to block the path of the bullet, only to have it pass through me like air. You know, I wanted, at least once, to see me lowering my rifle. To see him have his hands freed. To look at him walk away for once. But he did not.

    The story was already written, and the ink was already dry, you know. This poor fellow's life had ended, a year after I was gone too, and yet he seemed to be almost Angel-like, taking some time to visit me without any judgement of any sort, only to help me in the process. He was fine, he was loved, he felt no more pain and he did what I didn't do, which was to show empathy.

    We both played our parts in this sad war, and there was no more hate between both of us. I am glad that he was safe and carrying on. He was shining an aura of nobility that still, to this day, amazes me. I am deeply humbled by his endless love, even though he died an awful death, carried over by history.

    I hope that you will find in this, tanker, some peace, as I would like you to meditate on this point: however sad it was, you played a tough part as I am sure that Heinz was not a pathological killer, but a man who had to endure a lot of suffering and sadly did what he was expected to do. You carry the weight as we all do, but you have been granted the mercy of Life and came back to live again. Acknowledge the lifes you took like I do, but thank them and wish them well, for they have surely forgiven you already.

    Reflect on this: do you have anger towards the one man that pressed the trigger of the flamethrower on you?

    I know I don't towards the man that shot the round that took my life. He was a puppet in a vast scheme that we sadly had to take part in.
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2018
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  16. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Tanker,

    I think you should forgive yourself, but I don't have memories of this type to deal with so I don't feel like I have much of a place in a conversation of this type. However, I know that repentance and forgiveness of others is all that God requires, and that you should not require more of yourself than this--which you already have done. Blessings and peace be unto you.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  17. tanker

    tanker Senior Registered

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    Such a kind message, thank you so much, S&S. Blessings and peace be with you too.
     
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  18. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Hello everyone!

    As Ritter and others have mentioned, it seems that a 'warrior' type of soul would have had experienced other conflicts in different times.

    There is something interesting that is happening to me these past weeks, as I seem to have much more clarity in remembering another existence in another time.

    I have always suspected that I must have had something to do with being on a battleship, probably as an Englishman. Many visions (very brief flashes) have comforted me in this, along with the instinctive knowledge of seamanship while I was a kid. I learned how to sail at a young age, and always had a talent for harnessing the wind in my sail. I loved it and my instructors were always laughing at how I would zig-zag to reach a point against the wind, or always keep my eyes on my sail to catch the wind.

    The funny thing that happened to me a few days ago made me wonder about the time and place of these memories. I was born and raised in France, and obviously learned to sail using French words. Left and Right are Babord and Tribord, when on a ship. Well, a few days ago, I was talking about sailing with an american friend, and I started talking about "Starboard" and "Larboard". I never asked myself how I knew it, it came very naturally in the conversation, but he corrected me saying "We say Starboard and Port, in English. Larboard means nothing". I was 100% certain that he was wrong, but here I was seconds after, following a brief search online, admitting that he was indeed right.

    I was extremely surprised, though, to read that prior to the 1850s, in England and United States, the terms "starboard" and "larboard" were used until "Larboard" was replaced by "'Port" to avoid confusion. So it would seem that these terms that I used are indeed correct... Just very old and not relevant anymore!

    Needless to say, I am very interested by this funny 'mistake', and I am now looking at my many sailing dreams with a much kinder point of view. Maybe that would also explain why I am terrified of diving in open waters, and will probably never do scuba-diving as even snorkeling (and looking at the endless water around me) makes me extremely uncomfortable!
     
  19. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Actually, I have! I grew up in a seafaring family and was quite familiar with Port and Starboard, but I heard "Port" called Larboard or "Labbard" in some stories by Mark Twain set on the Mississippi river pre-1850s. So, it is out there in the literature if you go back a bit.
     
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  20. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    I have had a very interesting dream last night, one that was quite confused, but I have brought from it a very brief flash that I remember very clearly!

    Interestingly enough, I remember something like a lower deck of a ship, completely made of wood, and from the bow to the stern it was completely open - there was absolutely no walls to separate the deck. I am not sure if I was the one shouting the order or not, but I heard a loud voice, with a british accent, shouting "Man the starboard battery!" And like one man, dozens of men rushed from my left to my right to a row of perhaps twelve to eighteen cannons! It's a very impressive sight. I woke up super excited from this flash, filled with adrenaline! What a feeling!

    I can describe the deck and the cannons very precisely also! I saw two wooden columns in this deck, I would guess it's the masts. The one closer to me, closer to the middle of the ship, is noticeably larger that the other one. And the cannons are almost black, with a reddish wooden frame. On each frame are 4 little wheels, and the frame has ropes, perhaps two set on each side, to link it to the 'walls' of the ship. Said walls are somehow not straight up, but go upward in an angle, making the ceiling more narrow than the floor.

    Oh boy, just as I started mentioning it on this thread, looks like something is opening up in me again! I have no time these days to focus on it, but I will meditate on that and keep you posted if other memories show up!
     
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  21. skull_of_diamond

    skull_of_diamond New Member

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    I've just read through this thread, thanks for sharing your amazing experiences, Benjamin. I'm particularly interested in the afterlife parts, I think that's where the real lessons are learned.

    If being kept awake all night haunted by WWII visions is anything to go by, apparently I was also in the SS but I'm not yet sure to what capacity. My subconscious has been keeping a tight lid on it for a long time but small parts bubble to the surface now and again in waves. I've often had the typical nightmares which involve hiding from Russians accompanied by an overwhelming sense of dread, and I've also had a couple of visions of being surrounded by emaciated people, when I questioned the meaning of this apparition I saw the word "Treblinka" written as clear as day in my vision.

    I've had patterns in this life involving not being able to stop something which I feel is wrong, probably some kind of karmic leftover from the previous life. And then also dealing with feelings of guilt and fear and many 'phoenix rising from the ashes' type life situations as well. I think we repeat patterns from previous lives, the Sedona Method has been helping me resolve a lot of these emotions.
     
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  22. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Good morning!

    I would like to thank you for your beautiful message. If my words and my testimony can in any way have helped you, I am glad and proud.

    Indeed, I relate a lot to the feelings of dread your describe. More than the visual memories, it is the emotions that took the biggest toll on my well-being.

    I am glad that you are working on that, as I can only encourage you on your journey to forgiveness. You are absolutely right to say that the afterlife memories are the ones who most helped me make sense of this experience and make it a healing journey, towards forgiveness and overall reconnexion to humanity.

    I would be very happy to read more of your experience if you wish to share it, and know that this forum is a truely beautiful place of sharing and learning. Around here are several members who sadly have been haunted by the memories of this dark part of our history, and I hope you will find here a space for you to share, learn, forgive and grow. Should you feel the need to talk about it privately, please know that you are more than welcome to start a private discussion with me and I will do my best to answer quickly. Aside from that, if you want to create your own thread, please do, as I am sure that many other souls would find comfort in reading your story.

    I wish you a warm welcome and thank you, again, for your kind words!

    Benjamin
     
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  23. BenjaminFR

    BenjaminFR Senior Registered

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    Hello everyone, after many quiet months without posting on this thread, I wanted to update it after finding a very interesting testimony that I will post here.

    A bit more information about the context: at the time, Eugen was commanding the 3-SS-Panzerregiment "Totenkopf". The only Panzer regiment of the Totenkopf division, it saw heavy fighting during this battle where the Totenkopf division was paired with the Leibstandarte Division and the Das Reich Division to form the powerful II-SS-Panzerkorps. These three divisions formed the spearhead of the offensive on the southern salient of the Kursk battle.

    Here is the official report of the situation prior to the 8th of July 1943:

    During the night, the division then began to gather its departments. The battle between tanks continued even during the night and on the morning of 8th July. The Soviets continued to bring reinforcements, especially new armored brigades and new infantry battalions, to block the penetration of the SS-Panzer-Korps. The Leibstandarte and Das Reich panzers attacked north and north-east in the morning, roaming the steppe and destroying scores of enemy tanks with their long-range guns. To increase the firepower, the Leibstandarte's assault guns were ahead as armored avant-garde. The Soviets reacted by launching counterattacks against the right side of the SS-Panzer-Korps, thus threatening to isolate the two divisions from their rear areas. Around 12.45, the Totenkopf command reported: "... enemy attack, between 30 and forty armored vehicles, supported by infantry units from Wisloje and Ternowka in a westerly direction". The Totenkopf division then launched a counterattack with the SS-Pz.Rgt.3, the SS-Stug.Abt. "T" and the IV "TE".

    The following words are from the diary of SS-Obersturmführer Georg Kinzler, who was commanding the SS-Pionier batalion 3 (seemingly) during the advance of the Totenkopf Division in the Kursk offensive. As such, he seems to have been present during the death of Eugen K. and gave a very precise testimony of the last moments of his life:

    "... due to the confused situation, our commander, the SS-Stubaf K., took the lead with his Befehlspanzer (command wagon, ed), accompanied by two radio armoured vehicles. The protection was assured by some elements of my company and by men of the regimental general staff. This safety formation that I directed, included 3 non-commissioned officers and 17 soldiers, loaded on board the panzers, we launched the assault towards east without worrying about the announced enemy tanks. We were immediately targeted by enemy infantry fire. The shots came from the highlands located on our left about 150-180 meters ... According to the indications of our maps, there must have been elements of the 'Eicke' regiment, but it seemed that it was not the case. Under the protection of our panzers’ fire, our protection group attacked the entrenched enemy in the middle of the countryside, surrounded it and made eight prisoners. fifteen Soviets were killed in the clash ... We continued our progression. I left a non-commissioned officer and five men on the left to ensure the protection of our movements. On the right, the ground was quite open. It was easy to have an overall view. At about three hundred meters above our right, a big hill blocked our view. According to the papers, there must have been a Balka behind, an arm of the Wisloje ravine.

    The commander ordered to stop. He wanted to continue alone to explore the terrain. the two accompanying armored vehicles stopped on the right and stayed behind us. Our protection group was dispersed on the ground. the commander's Panzer advanced slowly. After about forty meters, he stopped suddenly. At the same time we heard a loud explosion! Fragments and splinters splashed around the turret. the driver of the Panzer stepped out of the vehicle shouting: "The Commander is dead! The Panzer burns!" I rushed towards him, his panzer was not completely burning yet. I moved to the left to see where the enemy shot came from ... and then discovered the enemy position, located about three hundred meters along the side overlooking the ravine of Visloje, with cannons and anti-tank rifles. In the meantime, the driver of the Panzer had come up in the middle to try to remove it. We shot at the enemy position to cover it. The Panzer managed to back off and joined the two radio vehicles. So I got on the Panzer and looked inside the turret. Two shots had punched it, killing the commander. We reported his loss by radio. "


    So here you can find the circumstances of the death I reported in my earlier posts. I find it very interesting - and quite sad - to read that it was his personal decision to advance alone and expose himself to the unknown, behind that hill. That was indeed a mindset for the Waffen-SS commanders, to always lead by example.

    I must mention that I have no memories of this. I do remember clearly the tactical situation in the morning - the division being halted, the expectation that a counter-attack from the west would likely occur - and I remember very clearly that my command tank was hit by the right side two times, something that the Obersturmführer Kinzler reported in his account. I did not remember the few minutes before my death, but I had managed to gather historical accounts that highlighted that the Regiment Eugen commanded was tasked to meet the Soviet counter-attack. I now know that Eugen died leading his men from the front, something that I find honorable, despite the meaninglessness of such a death. I understand now my great surprise and frustration to 'have died first' in my post-death memories on the battlefield.

    My biggest surprise at this testimony, though, is to read that there was at least one reported survivor from my command tank, as the driver seems to have survived the ordeal and even managed to climb back inside the burning tank to drive it back to relative safety. I was convinced that none could have survived the blast, given the violence of the explosion. I would be very curious to find out if the man survived the war. I guess that will be a future subject of research for me.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2019
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  24. Bellona324

    Bellona324 Divine Femboy

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    I actually have a memory after my death and I can say that it’s not as bad as you guys would think. A little weird but not that scary. Ok maybe it’s just me. I shot myself in the head with my left hand(I was left-handed) after being discovered by the Soviets(I was a spy) and after that, I saw black flowers blooming. I then got interrogated and that’s mostly about it. Ok my point in saying this is that dying’s not that bad, at least for me. Anyway, you did die honorably, comrade. I salute you!
     
  25. Dipanwita Saha

    Dipanwita Saha Active Member

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    Thank you so much @BenjaminFR for sharing your story and experiences.... I am only 18... I am also facing these mysterious problems, flashes and many more since 18 years after my birth... it was getting worst when I was 2 or 3 years old... I also remember my past life... and lots of mysterious things, visions happen with me everytime... I write a thread of my story and experiences in this forum 2 days ago... It is getting worst for me now... I'm facing a lot of trouble for this... and nobody is here to help me in my family... and there is no parapsychologist in my city... so my mom is also thinks that I am mentally unstable... there is no path open for me.... that's why I shared my problems and story in my thread for the 1st time... Don't know what to do
     
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  26. Albert Wolff

    Albert Wolff Active Member

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    I was in ww1 and ww2. In ww1 I was a soldier in the west and after ww1 I know I got involved with the N.S.D.A.P. I usually ignore this part of my past life and just focus on the ww1 part but lately I've been thinking about ww2 and my visions of it. Also my journey to find answers about my past life started with this when i first saw the year 1945. Back when i was 12 or 13 i saw the year 1945 I knew in some other existence that is when I died. Back then I knew absolutely nothing about ww2 or ww1. Then I learned about Germany I when i first learned about it I was very intrigued and felt drawn to it. Then i had this dream about this time period i can't really remember it anymore but it was like an awakening and I learned more about history and in my heart I just knew I was German in ww2. At first I thought I was a normal soldier in ww2 but as time went on and I experienced more visions I figured out that I was in ww1. So i must have been at one of the older officers who were in both world wars. Also I had more visions of being with the S.A ,SS, and being around members of the Hitler youth. Thinking about 1945 makes me feel gloomy. When I watch movies of then end of ww2 in Europe in documentarys or movies I go into long depressions that usually last for a few days. Lastly I think I have done terrible things during
    ww2. I notice this around the time I was learning about the Holocaust and everyone felt sorry for the victims but I couldn't. This subject makes me feel robotic or unemotional. Mabey thats why im still in this world to atone anything I did in my past life or something else.
     
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  27. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi Albert,

    I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. It is difficult for most of us to be able to pry ourselves away from the environment and teaching we receive in each new lifetime. We start out each one as children, usually without any PL memories or perspectives other than those of our family and playmates. Into that young mind, which has not yet developed any critical thinking skills, are poured the prevailing world view, prejudices, culturally accepted truths, etc. of a particular society/group. Learning to question what we have absorbed and adhere to more eternal values is the project of a lifetime. Actually, it is the product of numerous lifetimes and may actually be the whole reason we are here.

    I also don't blame you for your feelings about the end of the war. In hindsight, it couldn't have ended in any other way, for war is an ugly thing and its ending--based on a conflict between opponents using violence to determine an outcome--is also bound to be ugly. Necessary perhaps, but still ugly.

    In terms of guilt over what you might have done, the fact that you feel like you may have done "terrible" things is already a step towards redemption as it shows that you no longer accept those things as being good and justified. I don't think you will gain any more at this point by having complete memories of what they were, or even dwelling on them too much. I think this is only likely to lead to more heartbreak and depression. Your feelings already tell you what you need to move away from, and the opposite pattern of behavior that you need to embrace. I think you will be both happier and more effective in life if you just focus on being the opposite of what you have described. This does not mean losing any discipline or virtue gained during the WWII lifetime, but directing all of them towards the good.

    Cordially,
    S&S
     
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  28. Benny Price

    Benny Price Timeless

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    Being a European man living in China puts some serious life issues in front of you, and I'm guessing they're related to your last life. We're not that far away from WWIII.
     
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  29. Owl

    Owl Super-alt Mitglied

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    That's very interesting. Would you like to share any memories in particular?

    Why do you think you felt robotic and unemotional towards the Holocaust? Based on the lists I compiled, most people working in the concentration camps were relatively young, being born from 1906 to 1917 approximately. Considering what you posted, do you think you were perhaps a higher ranked officer who had to deal with the KZs administratively?
     
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  30. Albert Wolff

    Albert Wolff Active Member

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    Thank you for the advice SeaAnsSky it is greatly appreciated.
     

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