What baro-san says is true. Not speaking for you GalaxyDreamer, but from my own personal experiences. When I'm agitated, all the little things become worse. Lately I catch my thoughts when undesirable emotions arise. It doesn't mean I am avoiding, I am just becoming aware- having experienced an impatient and irritable attitude, I ask myself if I want to go through that again.
No one can make you do anything you don't want to. You may feel otherwise, people may try and proposition things in a way that makes it feel like you have to comply. I believe the entire world just went through that with the experimental mrna-injection. But ultimately, you must be the one to say whether you are willing to try something or not. Sometimes, saying no- and losing the comforts around us can be scary. Other times, it can be liberating.
This may or may not apply to you. I would encourage you to find peace in your life by finding gratitude for the small things. So being alone makes you happy? What is it about being alone that makes you happy? This is a good place to start.
What is it, about the idea of a woman in the forest? And I'd also be curios if you uncover how she survived in the woods alone, what skillset that requires. Is this idea a past life or a romanticization? I can't be the one to tell you that. But you can always explore these ideas on your own, free of charge.
I'm not sure coping is the appropriate perspective. I don't think coping means finding inner-peace and happiness. I think what will help is taking the reins of your life, deciding what you want- setting the boundaries you need, and learning how to balance your everyday affairs. You have free-will. Don't let employers, family, friends, society, foods, medicines make you believe otherwise. Because I think there's more, we don't see or are aware of, that contribute to feelings of hopelessness- depression, anxiety, etc.
Taking control isn't easy, but if you desire it, it will come. And if you believe in reincarnation, it may not even come in this lifetime. But you must make the effort now. Definitely strive to experience all you desire in this life, and don't worry about the what-ifs or try to understand all the details. Just take one step forward.
I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out with your boyfriend. It may end up being a good thing. If being alone brings you comfort, I want you to know it is entirely possible to feel the contentment one experiences in solitude in the midst of a crowd. There's an entire world inside you.
Wishing you all the best.
~CP
