Hello all! Newbie here. I must start by saying that I’ve been struggling with finding an active forum where I can openly share this story. I struggle with sharing it in person as well, because well... It’s a difficult subject. I bought this book called “Beyond the Ashes” after I had a very vivid, clear and upsetting dream a few years ago. I was desperate to find any answers and I did find many things I got familiar with. This particular dream was like a cluster of many odd personality traits, fears, phobias, recurring dreams and habits since I was a little kid. One of the things that makes me doubt is, that I was born in the late 1980’s and many souls reincarnated in between the 40’s-60’s, according to many people familiar with this. I was also born in America, a whole different continent. Would it be possible? I should start with my fears as a child. Almost drowned in a friend’s swimming pool when I was 2 (don’t know if this is relevant, however, the age will come up when I relate the dream) I used to be terrified of big, black dogs. A friend of my mom’s had a German shepherd and I cried whenever I saw it and to this day, I feel oddly intimidated by them. My parents also make fun of me when they share a curious habit I used to have as a small child: According to them, I used to walk around the house with a blanket over my head and some sort of tie around an arm. I used to walk around or just sit watching tv like that. I must point out that I am not Jewish and I don’t know anyone who is. In my drawings, I always included a star(s) with six points, used to draw two triangles to make them. At some point during my childhood, I listened to the Hatikvah and thought it was one of the most beautiful songs, made me feel deeply emotional. I’m bilingual (English and Spanish) and when it came to choose another language, I always got pulled over by German. Tried French and Swedish but was never consistent. Started (German) when I was a teen, left it and resumed it recently. Now to the deep points. I’ve always had separation anxiety. One episode I clearly remember was when I was 3/4yo and my parents left me with a neighbor for the night. I woke up, in the middle of the night and got terrified to find myself sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor, in the dark by myself. I cried and ran around the house while the neighbor was chasing me, eventually calmed down when the lights came on. Whenever my mom left me as a child I cried and asked her not to go. I always found the best spots to hide during hide and seek and always found the “perfect” hiding spot whenever I arrived to a place for “just in case”. I hate getting stomachaches (I used to get those a lot) and I hate being dirty. I hate the heat. Had anorexia when I was a teen and still sail about anxiety. Physically, there are a few birthmarks and was also born with one or two small “issues” that are now gone. I’m very empathetic and tolerable and try to be a better human. Also, I’ve always felt like I don’t belong here (place). I’ve always been attracted by Germany followed by the UK- From language, to people and traditions. Now to my interest about WWII and the holocaust. It’s been there ever since I got introduced to it at school. I would spend hours reading books about it, later going through internet articles and films and documentaries. I remember I even bought a biography of Hitler to try and comprehend the why of such a terrible episode in history (book I had to cover with wrapping paper because it had his face on the front cover). Never finished it, by the way. Even after reading, watching and learning about this, there’s still many information available. For example, I did not know much about Jewish villages, did not know much information about the way they looked and what happened to them, not much information about them in general. I’m still learning a lot to this day, I still learn about a victim everyday. Now to my dreams. Many have been about being prosecuted, little bits and pieces about it. Some about being hungry, others about hiding from something/someone. Some include weapons and men in boots. Curiously, my dreams are never about being suffocated, barbed wire, train boxes or camps in general. These dreams have been present since I can remember and I’ve woken up from them trembling and with absolute fear. The one that encapsulated everything came years later. There was a house that looked more like a hut. The inside was brown so I wasn’t sure if it was brick or wood. The floor was also brown, either dirt or wood. I can tell exactly the distribution of it: The entrance was a wooden door, you’d find a very simple kitchen and a small wooden table on your left, the kitchen had small windows on the two walls. Straight ahead, there was a wide hallway and then the space where the bedroom(s) was/were. In my dream, I was a little boy. I remember waking up asking why I was in a little boy’s body. I remember men, in tall boots storming into my dream house and shooting my dream family to death. I was sitting in the kitchen against a wall, I remember the table being knocked over in front of me. I remember the screams and the gunfire and the way the men were shouting, I could also comprehend what they were saying in German (At the moment I’m still learning and can comprehend little things, definitely not fluent German like in the dream). I remember crying and being scared. The last thing that happened was one of those men turning to face me. Could not see his face because from my point of view, I could only see the black boots steering in their place. Then I woke up. I woke up trembling, freezing and scared. I cannot say what happened to me/the little boy after that. Was he shot? Was he taken? After I bought the book about reincarnation, I learned about Jewish villages called shtetls and went on a google quest. Many of the houses resemble the one in my dream. I’ve never been to any camps and/or ghettos in Europe but I’ve been to exhibitions and local museums (When I go for vacation to another city, I try to go to one, if they have it) Most recently, I went to a newly renovated one. It was longer and much more intense and difficult compared to the previous museum before the renovation. They used to have a train box brought straight from Europe with a short film accompanied by a song I’ve tried to look for and have failed every time but now, they have the train box on the ground and visitors can go in it. It’s not documented that that train box was used to transport people to camps but still, being in it was such a powerful experience. At the end, they have a room with a wide window and white walls. The light is almost blinding and the walls are made with white blocks/bricks, each with a name of someone/a family that died in the holocaust. It was so peaceful and quiet, white, bright and clean. I left the museum speechless and with a headache/migraine that did not go away until the next day. I haven’t done any past life regressions, haven’t done them myself and I’m not quite sure if it would be the best. In a way, I think that it would help me heal my current life and to also clear out any doubts about what I think was my previous life. I’m hesitant and a bit scared to find out more and I have a lot of questions. I’ve read of holocaust reincarnated souls who cannot stand anything related to Germany, who are not even interested in learning the language and who remember lives in other parts of Europe. Cannot find any documented Shtetls that were in Germany, only ones in other places... And like these, so many other doubts and questions. It’s like I’m drawn into German (not Nazi) life as well. Anyway, this is my story. Finally gathering enough brave tokens to share it publicly. Thank you for reading.