I will start with a little background. Tate is my first born. We tried for 3 1/2 years before conceiving him. We had given up hope and were waiting for my husband to go active duty army before we pursued fertility treatments. We were so excited that we became pregnant on our own. Pregnancy was normal and he was born at 36 weeks perfectly healthy and only 1 hr 46 min of labor. He is an amazing child!! He is almost 7 and in the past year was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. He was my "easy baby". He is highly intelligent. Reading by age 3 and is now 1st grade and reads and performs at a 4th grade and higher level. He thinks at a higher level than expected. Asks very grown up questions and knows things he shouldnt. I will often bring up what I believe is new subject matter and he will know exactly what I am talking about! When Tate was 3 he came out of his room and out of the blue said "Im glad im not Shanda anymore." His father and I were confused and he repeated the sentence. So I told him that he was never Shanda. That he is Taterbug. And he replied "No mommy, before I was Tate I was a girl named Shanda. Then I was crashed by a car and the Angels came and took me away and then I got to be Taterbug." At first I was shocked. I basically laughed it off. Then I got to thinking. We dont know anyone named Shanda nor have we ever known anyone to be killed. We began questioning him. He can tell you his "other parents" names. That he had two younger brothers. And once described extremely graphic moments of his accident and death. And later there would be moments that reminded him of being her and would cause sadness. And even moments of defiance because "Shanda's mom" would let him do that lol. Then, a year later, a miracle occured. A moment that changed my whole way of thinking. We are not religious people. I dont belong to a church. We choose to teach our children the value of being kind and loving everyone at home. Although I do believe there is God I find it difficult to discuss and explain who He is. And before this experience I honestly had no clue if there was a heaven. The morning this occurred my lovely aunt was being removed from life support after a short but valiant battle with brain cancer. Driving to school I simply told the kids "If mommy is a little sad today it is okay. Papaws sister is very sick and has to go away to heaven today." And Tate says "I've been to heaven mommy" So I said "No baby. Heaven is where your soul goes when your body cant keep it on earth anymore." And he says "Yes mommy. I went there when I was Shanda." So I asked "Tell me about heaven. What was it like?" He says "It was blue." Me "Anything else? Was there lots of people there?" Tate "No. Just me and Justin" So I said "Justin? From your school?" And he says "No mommy. He was a bigger Justin. He knew you and daddy. He said you guys needed me and he was gonna send you to me. Then he zapped me" I was a shaky emotional mess. We reached home and I simply pulled out a picture and said "Tate, look at this." As soon as he saw it he yelled "THATS HIM! Thats Justin. He sent me to you!" The Justin in the picture was my best friends little brother, my little brother. He was an amazing courageous young man with a huge heart. He passed away from cystic fibrosis in november of 2007. We conceived Tate in April of 2008. I had never talked about him to the kids. I wanted to wait until they were old enough to remember my stories and truly understand who he was. How great he was. I always joked that he was handpicked by Justin. That he would only want the best for me and my husband (who happened to be one of Justins best friends) and to be a grandchild to his parents. That he would choose the greatesy nephew. He would have been an amazing uncle to my children. And I cant thank him enough for giving us Tate. And for changing my mind on heaven. Cause I know now I will see him again.