Were I female in a past life?

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by TheDivineOne, Dec 26, 2015.

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  1. TheDivineOne

    TheDivineOne Should've been born a girl...

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    Before I begin let me just start by saying I am so glad I have found this site. It was something I needed: a community where I can talk about being transgender and reincarnation. In fact I didn't really know what to call this thread because I have so many questions about this.

    I'm not sure if or not I even believe in reincarnation. I mean, I want to believe in reincarnation. No, scratch that. I want God/Source itself to tell me that there is reincarnation and that I will be female in the next life. Only because all the *people* don't seem to know for sure if or not reincarnation is a thing.

    I find myself wondering what my life, this life, would have been like if I were born a girl without having to transition to become one. I am also not sure if I believe in that prophecy that we choose our own gender before coming into an incarnation. As much as I want to believe that I will get to choose to be female in my next life I am convince that I don't have any say in that matter except for that I am in the middle of a male-to-female gender transition. My transition is the only closure I'll get aside from the certainty that I will get to be female in another lifetime.

    I feel like I'm dead. This isn't living at all to me; I'm merely existing. Seriously, something's gotta give!

    Anyway, I don't mean to make this forum a sounding board for my transgender issues. I came here for the three C's: clarity, closure, and conviction. I'd like for the members on this site to tell me what they know about cross-gender reincarnation.

    For such reasons, I don't feel like living a long life, I really don't and I keep telling myself I won't and I won't. In fact, I hope I am dead before I'm 50 and I don't even want to live that long. I really don't even want to live past 40. I'm 25 at the time I posted this in case anyone wants to know.

    Being female means everything to me; it is all that has ever mattered to me. I feel so numb, so empty. My identity as a female is all I live for. It is the lifeblood of why I am alive. My lost womanhood is like the air I breathe. Without my female persona, my life has no meaning.

    Is it remotely possible that I was female in a previous incarnation and that I can be one in the next??

    Thanks.
     
  2. John Tat

    John Tat Senior Registered

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    First of all let me say that very few of us could possibly understand what you are going through, it must be terrible for you. I hope many others on this forum will post what their beliefs are about the situation you find yourself in. The more input you get the better it will be.


    The following is what I believe , nothing more. None of it can be proven in any way. The basis of what I believe is our spirits do have gender. After much back and forth with others on this forum I concede that it is nothing like physical gender, it is spiritual gender. Throughout history angels ,spirits and so on have always been depicted with gender. All spiritual references to angles messengers, demons and so on also have always been depicted with gender. One of the reasons I believe the spirit must have gender is that it must be compatible with the physical gender it occupies for many reasons If something goes wrong during the reincarnation process then it is possible the genders get mixed. In your case the female gender of your spirit is not compatible with the physical gender it occupies causing the problems you are experiencing. Next time around everything will be OK for you.


    That is my belief but as I said I having nothing to back that belief up with. Very few (if any) on this forum agrees with me on this issue. But it does explain the reasons behind the many problems people have in the physical When others post on this thread giving their opinions hopefully that will help you


    There will possibly be others who may tell you its the chemicals and hormones in your physical body that are out of balance causing you these problems. I have no doubt because it is you experiencing what are you are and not them you would know far better that they, and if you believed that you would not be asking the advise of those of us on this forum


    All the best
     
  3. ChrisR

    ChrisR Administrator Emeritus Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I would say that you most certainly were or have been a female in the past. Whether your soul has a preference towards either gender is a topic which has been debated in this forum many times before. Personally, I do believe that we have some input as to what gender our next incarnation will be, but I think we choose for a purpose that is not immediately clear to us in our physical form. The person who you are now is focused solely on the life that you are living right now and not what impact it is having in the greater scheme of things.


    You may have chosen a transgender life to help you understand a facet of life from a particular perspective, and just because you're finding life to be a struggle as a male does not mean that you made the wrong decision, your higher self may feel that you need that pain and struggle in order to learn something. Once your current life comes to an end, the 'big plan' is revealed to you once more and you will see which parts of the puzzle your recent experience has filled in and then it will all make sense to you once more before you plan for your next life.


    The only comfort you can take is that you will be female again, but it is not guaranteed to bring you any more contentment or relief because your awareness of yourself will be from the perspective of that self, not your present self. I hope that makes sense, and welcome to the forum. :)
     
  4. TheDivineOne

    TheDivineOne Should've been born a girl...

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    It's starting to make sense to me that I were a female in a past life. I am now at the point where I refuse to believe that there is no reincarnation and this is the one and only life we live. It also makes plenty of sense to me that spirits have gender and that a mismatch with spiritual and physical gender results in people being transgender.


    Also, I don't care if it's to learn a "higher lesson" or whatever the case may be. I am never asking to be transgender again. I hate it! I don't even want to be a male and not be transgender. The prospect that I will be female again in a future life brings me great pleasure and it makes my soul sing. But in addition to that I hope that there is some way somehow that in that lifetime I will somehow remember that I wanted to be female in this life, then that way I will appreciate it better.
     
  5. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    Welcome DivineOne


    You are in the right place.
     
  6. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi TDO,


    There is a divide in the board as to whether the "soul" has gender or not in an ultimate sense. However, there is some pretty good research by Stevenson connecting homosexual/trans issues to cross-gender incarnation--i.e., this seems to be something that often cropped up in his studies as the result of a cross-gender incarnation. This may not, however, indicate an ultimate "gender" as "souls" seem to incarnate for periods of time as a single gender. Hence, it may just be a symptom of having to get used to the opposite gender again. OMG


    Anyhow, there is a lot of discussion and information on this board related to the issue--but it is often scattered about--so you will have to search for it. Also, some of our strongest "rememberers" assert that they have no problem with this type of switch, which may indicate that it is something that more experienced "souls" take in stride.


    So, overall, though I cannot promise you that you will find an ultimate answer here to your questions, you will find a lot of information and will certainly be able to arrive at a more informed opinion on the matter. Anyhow, welcome aboard! wine**


    Cordially,


    S&S
     
  7. SeaAndSky

    SeaAndSky Senior Registered

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    Hi TDO,


    Carol Bowman's first book is an excellent place to start in understanding this subject area. Stevenson was mentioned above, but is considered to be pretty dry as a layman's read (he was aiming at a scientific audience). You will learn about many others as time goes on.


    In any case, the following Stevenson oriented website should prove very helpful to you (I'd suggest a good browse just to get oriented to the field):


    http://www.iisis.net/index.php?page=reincarnation-evidence-past-lives-life-research-home&hl=


    In terms of your particular inquiry/issue, these sections (particularly the second listed) may be particularly useful to you in terms of your gender identity issue:


    http://www.iisis.net/index.php?page=semkiw-reincarnation-past-lifes-lives-gender-change&hl=en_US


    http://www.iisis.net/index.php?page=reincarnation-homosexuality-lesbian-transsexual-ian-stevenson-past-life-research-ma


    I do not particularly care for the Wikipedia article on Stevenson, which emphasizes criticism by mainstream scientists (which would be expected as Stevenson's findings attack the materialist paradigm). However, surprisingly, the following Scientific American comment is rather fair and balanced:


    http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/bering-in-mind/ian-stevensone28099s-case-for-the-afterlife-are-we-e28098skepticse28099-really-just-cynics/


    Good luck and good reading! Exploring this subject area is unlikely to resolve your disphoria, but sometimes it helps just to have a better idea what may be going on in terms of the "Big Picture".a115.gif


    Cordially,


    S&S


    PS--If you're still interested at this point, you also might want to read the following, which summarizes a lot of basics in terms of Stevenson's findings:


    http://www.near-death.com/reincarnation/research/ian-stevenson.html


    PPS--Once again, there are plenty of other good authors out there with a reasoned/scientific approach, but Stevenson makes a good place to start.
     
  8. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I've been through it, if I can be of any help, let me know wine**


    If you haven't, I'd start doing past lives research. Learning about your past lives may help you understand why you choose this life now.


    At the same time though, each life is meant to be lived and experienced on its own, so also focus on your growth and challenges you face in your life now.
     
  9. Batgeek22

    Batgeek22 New Member

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    Wish I could help you out. I was a female in my past life and a male in the current. From the flashes of memories and feelings I get I've switched back and forth several times. Gender doesn't really matter very much to me. I fall into the group that believes that souls do not have gender, but may in the physical world have a gender preference. Like you I don't believe we always get choice in which gender we reincarnate as. Just as we don't always get a choice when we die. Most of my aggravation about this life and my previous life as woman revolves not around gender but rather unfinished business. I get a sense I was promised more time. Whatever the gender is of the body that I may occupy I'm still me.


    To answer the question about gender I need to ask what it means to be feminine. If you're able to define this without using physical, or cultural terms I'd be shocked. If you look around the world the definition of what it means to be feminine changes depending upon the culture of that region. In some parts of the middle east it is constantly covering every square inch of your body and being sold to your future husband. In some parts Africa coming to age as a female includes having your genitals removed with a hot knife. In China you may be aborted before you're even born when the ultrasound reveals your gender and your would be parents wanted a son. If born you may be sold, or even killed. In western societies you may enjoy a cultural status that is nearly equal to a male. Western societies are probably the most diverse. This has to do with the mix of cultures. You may be considered feminine by one person and not by another. The truth to all of this is that as a female you're not the one that gets to define what feminine is. For that matter as a male you don't get to define what maleness is. Don't know if any of this helps, or confuses things more.
     
  10. TheDivineOne

    TheDivineOne Should've been born a girl...

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    Actually I do think we get a choice when we die. People commit suicide at the time they decide to stop living, don't they?


    I am determined to not see my 50th birthday. I refuse to live that long. As I said in the OP I don't even want to live beyond 40.


    Just so everybody knows, you guys are solely giving your opinions on their personal views and perspectives of reincarnation, and I understand that. That being said, you guys are recommending that I look at those books that were written by people who may or may not be able to back up their beliefs with facts based on their own personal experience. Not to invalidate anyone's opinions and experiences; I just want to know that what they write were based on experiences.


    I still don't want to live very long. Maybe just a little longer after I'm through with my gender transition but I really hope my time here is very short and that my future life as a female is many years longer.


    The question I really wanted to ask when I first came here and opened this thread was: will I be born female and live a full human life as a female in my very next lifetime?
     
  11. ChrisR

    ChrisR Administrator Emeritus Staff Member Super Moderator

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    It's possible, but unfortunately, nobody here can predict your next lifetime and give you a definitive answer. It may be difficult to accept right now, but I still believe that when you die and go back to your spirit form, you will see things very differently, and whatever your goals are for the next life, your soul will make the best choices to deal with those goals, and that includes whichever gender you think is most appropriate to fulfill that purpose.
     
  12. Batgeek22

    Batgeek22 New Member

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    Sorry to hear you don't want to live very long. If you really feel that way I'm sure you'll get your wish. As for being born female the next life if you wait for it you'll get it. I speculated once that reincarnation is like waiting in lines at Disney. If you're willing to wait you get your pick of the kickass rides. If you don't want to wait it's a crap shoot if you'll get a good ride your not. The kicker is you can't see the ride from the entrance. When you get to the other side get in the long line and wait.
     
  13. TheDivineOne

    TheDivineOne Should've been born a girl...

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    While what you're saying does have some degree of credibility, mind you I don't want my life to be short just so I can hurry up and come back and be a girl. I don't want to live long because being transgender is too much to deal with.
     
  14. Anthony Forwood

    Anthony Forwood Arm Chair Know-It-All

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    Isn't human civilization great!??
     
  15. Batgeek22

    Batgeek22 New Member

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    I apologize if I came off sounding harsh. Reincarnation is about life, not death. If all you're searching for is death it's all that you're going to find. The life you have now is precious you should cherish and learn from it not discard it.
     
  16. Batgeek22

    Batgeek22 New Member

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    Just to add to the above, you need to settle whatever problems you have in this life or you'll carry them to the next. Trust me, this is coming from someone who knows. You think it's bad now. Just imagine constantly being bothered by something you can't put your finger on or clearly remember. It's like having an itch that not only you cannot scratch, but also can't tell where it's at. I don't know what you're searching for, or even what you expect from your gender reassignment. You have to answer that yourself. Finish what you've started and see if it meets your expectations.
     
  17. TheDivineOne

    TheDivineOne Should've been born a girl...

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    Oh, do not worry! You have not the slightest clue how bad I just want to do whatever lesson I'm supposed to learn and get this crap over with, pardon my French. I do not feel like, nor do I ever want to live this life again. I don't even want to live this life now!


    You don't know what I'm searching for? Well let me tell you: I want to know that I indeed will be female in my very next life... a whole female, not be born male and then transition to a girl. I don't even want to be a female-to-male transgender. I also would like to know that I was female in a past life too but if I had to choose between either of these desires, my choice, hands down, would be being a girl in my next life. I understand that this is something you guys can't give me but you asked, and I'm delivering.


    What I'm expecting from my gender transition is closure and acceptance: closure that even though I wasn't born a full-fledged female at least I could go through with this transition a people will accept me as a woman. You think this life is precious? Game over! You lost. Well... you're wrong on both accounts. I'm not looking for death. I just want to start over. It's like when you start a project and you had inadvertently ruined it before you even make it half way through it and you want to restart it again and do it right this time. That's just how I feel about this life. Also, I don't think there's anything "precious" about being trans at all. I hate it! And I guess I have no choice but to finish it up so I won't have to do this again.
     
  18. Phthalo

    Phthalo Senior Registered

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    I don't believe that sex or gender identity is guaranteed to carry over from life to life. Many people (including me) have memories of having a different gender identity from their current one.


    None of us can tell you what your gender was in a past life and much less what it will be in your next one. For all we know, you might come back as a cis guy! On this site, we can only offer our theories about this sort of thing so you should form your own conclusions. If you're interested in learning about past lives, by all means do.


    Transitioning sounds difficult, especially in a society that is still so prejudiced. It's not suprising you want it to end and I hope you get to pick your body and what gender you're perceived as by others in your next life.


    If you're feeling suicidal or depressed, please seek help if you can. I can try to help you find resources in your area or country. Just understand that our theories and speculation are to be taken with a grain of salt and you shouldn't read them as encouragement to end your life. Lots of people believe each one of our lives can teach us something. I don't believe we choose our problems but I believe life is always an opportunity. Maybe there's something you can do to make the most of your time, like helping other trans people or working on something you care about.
     
  19. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    We all have times when we feel that we don't want to be bothered getting old. We have times when it all seems like a big struggle and a bit too hard. I certainly have myself from time to time. It passes. Things have a way of looking up. I'm 54 now and in many ways, more settled and happy than I was in my 30s. I used to think I would never live very long, but I'm still here and still having a good time, so you never know what is around the corner.


    Nobody knows for sure what the 'rules' are about what happens between lives, although there are many, many books about this and lots of stories about people's various experiences and thoughts on it.


    Dr Brian Weiss is the foremost expert on this topic. He has made it his life study and does a lot of work with people, helping them to recover their memories. His books are highly recommended. You can find his website here. So, maybe take a look, then judge for yourself what you think.


    http://www.brianweiss.com/


    So, as to what happens next life; it depends. It seems to be based on a mixture of your personal wishes / will in the matter, and a certain amount of chance, what just 'happens' and what you make of it once you find yourself in any given situation. Life is like that.


    I hope things start to look up for you and you will feel more positive about this life that you have been given now. In the end, it's up to you what you do with it. You can love it. You can hate it. You can do something amazing with it. Or not. Freedom of choice. It's a great thing. Try to use it wisely. That's my tip. :)
     
  20. TheDivineOne

    TheDivineOne Should've been born a girl...

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    Please do not even say that! I will not have that! I will greet Satan with open arms at the Gates of Hell before I ever accept that! No freaking thank you!


    If you're actually trying to encourage me to end my life sooner you're on your way. I don't care if being a cis guy is better than being transgender! Fine, I will continue with this life here and now but do not even say that's even a possibility for me to come back as a cis guy... after all the begging and praying I've been doing to come back as a cis girl. I would rather die a slow, painful, and tortuous death!
     
  21. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    Take it easy DivineOne.

    Be careful what you wish for! Don't even think things like this. Think positive. Be wise.


    Things have a way of working out. Things often seem dire at the time, but all things change. We are all immortal. There is no need to over react, ever. This is one of the things that we begin to learn with enough time.


    Everyone has their problems. People are sick. People are hungry. People are sad. People suffer from war, poverty, loneliness, abuse, disappointment .... the list is endless. There is always someone better or worse off than ourselves.


    Perspective is key.


    Blessings.
     
  22. Phthalo

    Phthalo Senior Registered

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    I didn't say that being a cis guy would be better than being trans.


    My point is that we can't give you any ultimate answers. We can only speculate.


    There seems to be a consensus that gender and physical characteristics can change from one life to the other. There are many different theories about how much control we have over reincarnation. They're just theories.


    You might get your wish in another life or you might not. We can't tell you.


    If you're trying to understand better and find solace in the idea, keep exploring. Many people find reincarnation a comforting belief because it means we get to keep having different experiences, some bad but some good.


    If you're want to end your life, do you really want to do it based on the theories a stranger on the Internet has about reincarnation?


    I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, that's not what I mean. My point is that what you suggest in your posts, ending your life in hopes that reincarnation works the way you want it to and asking us for validation, sounds like a bad idea. I strongly urge you to get help and support for your suicidal thoughts in this life. Worrying about your next life can wait.
     
  23. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I will say this: if you don't slow down and take things one thing at a time and come to terms with what you're supposed to be learning in this life, you'll be repeating much of the same in the next, one way or the other. It doesn't matter where our issues come from, but if we don't make a concerted effort to identify them and work to move past them, they will only serve to drag us down. Getting caught cheating and only being sorry you got caught only hurts you more in the long run.

    You could put me back into a woman's body (and it will happen again I'm quite sure) but I would be the same person. My research as shown that throughout 3 lives, I've been the same person on the inside. Perhaps this is your lesson, to learn about and develop who you are on the inside. If not having a female body is your biggest source of grief, I would give some serious though to why that is. If you haven't tried it, past life research / regression can shed some light on it.
     
  24. larali

    larali Member

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    Maybe I shouldn't weigh in because I can't relate, but it seems to me that it's important to learn to make the most of what we have and what we are in this present life. We all have to do that in different ways.

    Tell it child, I wish I knew what my "lesson" was because I would then get right to studying and I would ace that test. Why do we have to deal with all this BS? Why can't "they" just make it easy for us? I guess there is a reason.
    Anyway I hope you come to terms with your dilemma because it sounds rather miserable.


    Just wanted to add that if you haven't tried therapy before then you may want to look into it-- it has helped many people. I personally have been in and out of therapy since I was a young teen (bipolar and depression issues). It is important to find a decent therapist though-- some of them just aren't that helpful. Just wanted to suggest that in case you haven't considered it before... you do sound really tormented by this problem and suicide isn't something to take lightly.
     
  25. Ceridwen

    Ceridwen Senior Registered

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    If that's what you decide to do - then yes....I would say you would indeed be born female.


    I have no idea why you were born into a body that you feel is the wrong sex this time. Who knows how these things happen?


    But - I am one of the people who believes my body has been both sexes in previous lives and I am not in the slightest bit bothered just which sex it is previously. My viewpoint is that I'm a very pragmatic person basically and I would have, first and foremost, chosen which country and time period to incarnate and then checked out likely life experiences for both sexes.


    For instance - this time round - I was born in England of the 1950s and into a female body. Me being me and thinking the way I do - then I'm darn sure I would have checked out the likely life experiences for both sexes in Britain of mid-20th century before deciding which sex to be born. I can imagine I would have been there weighing up the pros and cons@


    Advantages of female body:


    1. - I get to choose whether there will be any children or no (men didn't and still cant at this point in history and quite a few men are still experiencing women having "accidental-on-purpose" pregnancies on them)


    2. Less pressure to get involved in any wars Britain gets involved in.


    Disadvantages of female body:


    1. Quite a bit of discrimination against women still going on at mid 20th century - but I might have looked ahead to see that that would vanish by about the time I got to middle age.


    If, however, I had decided to be born into a Middle Eastern or African country - then I would have had to decide to be born into a male body. The reason being - women are still treated so badly in those countries (badly discriminated against, sexually harassed, those awful "intimate" operations many African women get imposed on them by their own mothersOMG) and I would refuse to have a female body in a society that treated women so badly.


    In a Western country, however, I could choose to have a female body - knowing that the only penalty I would pay for that would be the steadily-lessening amount of discrimination women would have for the first part of my life and ...errrm...having to put up with periods/menopause.


    I can see logically why I would have chosen a female body - in THIS country. I can see logically why I would not have chosen a female body - in some other countries.


    But - as I've said - I basically honestly couldn't give a darn about which sex my body is. I'm just a person (sex irrelevant).


    I don't know whether there are differences in some peoples bodies that cause them to be very concerned with which sex their body is - the jury is out on that.


    What I would say, though, is that my body's hormones played havoc with my thoughts and emotions until I had safely got through menopause. I could just curl up in embarrassment/anger/horror at how influenced my thoughts and emotions were by my bodies hormones until the Deep Peace of Apres-Menopause. At that point - the hormones basically "died" (as is the case with many people of both sexes) and it was a blessed relief. I knew that thoughts/emotions would be coming from ME thereafter and not be influenced by my body. I am just so thankful that it is now ME doing the thinking and ME doing the feeling and not being influenced by this external factor (ie my body).


    You may find the same Apres Mid Life Peace in your position.
     
  26. TheDivineOne

    TheDivineOne Should've been born a girl...

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    And I didn't say you said being a cis guy was better than being trans.

    And my point is that I get that none of you know for sure. I even said so in one of my previous posts. When I came here I figured some of you guys may know a tad more about reincarnation than me. But even if I'm wrong you're not doing me any favors by telling me there's a possibility it might not happen because I will not have that. I would rather my soul just either not reincarnate or cease to exist and I would very much like to avoid all three of those scenarios.

    Uhh, no. I think I will take your first piece of advice and do as much research on the subject as I need to be convinced and assured that I will reincarnate as a female. Thank you very much.

    What's that supposed to mean?

    I'm not you.

    Probably because I should've been born female and I won't let any of you tell me otherwise. I want what was unfairly taken from me even if I have to fight like Hell for it!

    As much as I would like to do a past-life regression to see if I were female in that life it would only help me as far as convincing me that reincarnation does exist. Being female in my next life? Not so much.

    Please do not go on to me about the advantages and disadvantages of being a male or female because that isn't helping me either, especially when being transgender isn't any better. I'm sure being either sex comes with it's ups and downs but it's doing absolutely nothing as far as my desire to be female goes. Also I hate when cis females complain about periods because I would give just about anything to go though that and to give birth. I don't care how painful it is.


    But judging by your post, it seems we may get to pick where we are born, in which case I'd prefer to be born in Southeastern Pennsylvania, where I'm from.

    I'm not you! You may not care about your sex but I do! Or I wouldn't be transitioning nor would I be so bent on being female in this life and in the next.
     
  27. Phthalo

    Phthalo Senior Registered

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    I understand that some of the conversation here is not taking into account how dysphoria works and how difficult it can be for trans individuals.


    However, your tone in your replies to me is coming across as rude. I have not attacked or dismissed you in any way.

    Your response to my first post certainly sounded that way. Perhaps it's only a matter of interpretation but thanks for that.

    That's the problem. You come here to ask us to share our theories and experiences and then you get angry when they don't fit what you're expecting.


    If you think of what we're saying as just theories, then why get so frustrated that they are not the ones you want us to have? You seem to be frustrated with me even though I didn't even express any beliefs or experiences and just told you we don't have the answers for you.


    You said you can make your own beliefs that will comfort you. By all means do.


    I understand there are many worries when it comes to reincarnation. Do I want to end up living in misery in my next life with no food or shelter? No. That could happen and it's not a happy thought but for all I know, in another life I could come back and live in the lap of luxury. LOL For all I know, maybe nothing happens after we die or something happens but not reincarnation.


    That's my point. Because we don't know what happens, it sounds like you're bringing too much worry into this. I understand why but that's not the best mindset for exploring this subject. I'll repeat what I said in my last post: whatever happens after we die isn't going anywhere, so look after yourself and your health in this life.


    Edited to add, I won't reply here anymore. If you want to discuss the subject that's fine but this isn't being a productive discussion.
     
  28. TheDivineOne

    TheDivineOne Should've been born a girl...

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    I never intended to be rude at all so I'm really sorry if I came off that way. It's just that I spent so many years praying and begging that I will somehow be female in my next life because it's my soul's biggest, deepest desire and to even hear the possibility that this desire might not come to fruition is enough to upset me that I'm really sensitive on the subject.

    I don't think I ever said that, and if I did, I misspoke. I said I will do more research on reincarnation to try and get as close to the facts as possible because I want to know for sure that I will come back and be female.

    I'm sorry that you feel that way, and that is your prerogative, but I hope you at least see this response as I attempt to clear the air.
     
  29. larali

    larali Member

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    I don't think we can ever know for sure what awaits us in our next life/ afterlife :(


    I really hope that I will not be bipolar in my next life. For now though, I'm just gonna deal with it best I can (meds and therapy, etc).
     
  30. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    It's important when typing a response to someone to consider how the tone may come across. When we are speaking to each other we have vocal tone and facial expressions, gestures and nuance to help get our message across.


    Sometimes we might not mean to be blunt with someone, but that's how it might come across. This is where emoticons can be very useful to communicate if you are kidding :) or venting frustration, or confused, or whatever. :grr: :eek:

    It's clear that this is a topic very close to your heart and soul. It's clear that you want answers and wish you could just find something concrete to hold onto, to make your problems go away, and help you feel better... Uncertainty is very difficult to deal with. But, sadly, uncertainty is a fact of life, in this life and the next.


    It's impossible for another person to know exactly how we might feel about something. People can try to figure it out by relating it to their own experiences, in order to try to 'walk in your shoes'. But, that doesn't mean they can ever get it 100% - everyone has their own filters and ideas about what life 'is'. However, we should be grateful when people take the time and trouble to try to understand, rather than respond with frustration when they don't seem to be getting it.


    Again, the absence of facial expressions, and other conversation cues make it vital to try to communicate as clearly as you can, but also to be as courteous and gentle to someone, as you would hopefully be in real life, if speaking to your grandmother, or even a stranger on a bus stop for that matter. You can never have manners that are too good, after all.


    We all come here to share our experiences, our knowledge, our insights, hopes, fears, worries, stories and what we think it might all be about. This is a safe place to talk about these things. People mostly do their best to be kind and helpful.


    In answer to your question, I personally have a strong belief that we do tend to get what we wish for in the next life. It has been my experience on several occasions. You may wish to read my thread Poland which explores this idea at length, and I have other examples where something I longed for in one life came true in the next. So, be comforted, that it is more likely than not that you will get your wish fulfilled.


    However, there's a catch. I believe that if people wish for 'good' things, for the 'right' reasons, then things have a way of working out well. There was a story on the forum a while back about a man who was in a gang, in his previous life and had seen his friend shot and die in front of his eyes. There was nothing he could do to help. He decided he would become a doctor so he would be able to help people instead of hurting them. While he was studying, he died and never got to finish. But, the next life, as a little kid all he wanted to do was study medicine. He was a happy man, with a lovely family and did good work. Happy ending.


    There are other stories I've heard things did not work out so well. You only have to look at the lives of some of the rich and famous to see that happiness and riches are two different things. It's a bit like the moral of the fairy tale: be good and be careful what you wish for or you might get toads when you want pearls....


    So, keep wishing to be a woman next life. This life, as you undergo your transition, practice being the best woman that you can be. Do good things with your life and help other people. It doesn't hurt to build up some karma (whether you believe in it or not :) ). Next life, you will have a great head start and I'm sure you're going to be fabulous at it.
     
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