Will my unfulfilled wishes and desires in this life influence my choice for a next life?

Discussion in 'Reincarnation Questions' started by Lia1992, Mar 3, 2021.

  1. Lia1992

    Lia1992 Senior Member

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    Hi everyone, I'm new here.

    I was wondering whether your wishes and desires that are unfulfilled in your current life can be a factor in choosing your next one, especially when they are the result of a traumatic experience early in life.

    I'm a preemie (I was born six weeks too early) which resulted in a weak eyesight, hard of hearing and weak finger and mouth muscles which meant, among other things, that I couldn't be breastfed. In addition to that, my mom would not allow me to use baby bottles or pacifiers as a child so I developed a weakness for those things. Also, it influenced my views on child raising. But ever since I've learned about reincarnation and planning lives, I wonder whether my experiences in this life means that I could choose a family who is more open to that e.g. a family who supports extended breastfeeding and self-weaning.

    I also have the desire to be female and wish to be born a girl in my next life.

    So my question ultimately is: can I choose such an open family for my next life and how would that work? :)

    Excited to be here and hope to learn a lot,
    Lia
     
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  2. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi Lia,
    Welcome to the forum!

    Personally, I find it hard to answer your questions. I am the one who looks back at former lives and I am not concerned about future lives. But I guess it will be possible to make a wishlist for future lives.
     
  3. Lia1992

    Lia1992 Senior Member

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    Thank you for your reply and for your welcome, fireflydancing! :D

    While I personally haven't had any visions or memories from past lives and could only speculate based on my interests (whether they even reflect a former life or are new interests in this life is an interesting question on its own :) ), I do wonder who I have been as well but I haven't had the possibility to explore that further with hypnosis or other methods yet.

    Concerning your reply on future lives, I do hope so that I can make a wishlist.
     
  4. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

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    Though I have no memories of my past lives I do believe I know some about a future life and also believe I can foresee the future in dreams and from my experience the future is not set in stone and is what we make of it and I think that goes for lifetimes as well and we do indeed get to choose what our lives will be like. As I can not remember my past lives I can't remember why I would choose to be here in this timeline. However, I do know that my purpose in this lifetime is to be a leader of some sort.
     
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  5. Lia1992

    Lia1992 Senior Member

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    That's pretty interesting. So if the future is not set in stone, then what you are seeing of a future life is only one possibility, right? Can you see where and when you will live in that life?
     
  6. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

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    Yeah what I foresee in my dreams I believe is only a glimpse of a possible future. For some reason I'm only able to foresee small glimpse of these possible futures. I think in future life I live in space station (at least thats where I would like to live anyway) and things are more peaceful. By the way its the very distant future though I'm not entirely sure how far into the future seems like not anytime soon. Most of what I know about future life comes from my own intuition.
     
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  7. Cyrus

    Cyrus Senior Registered

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    Hi, Lia:

    The answer is YES, but there may be unplanned modifications.

    When I was starting to learn about reincarnation, I firmly believed that the things like what happened to you, only occur as a kind of punishment or compensation for smth. one did in one's PL.

    Now I see it all much simpler.

    What we plan in LBL about our next life will not be set in stone, it most surely will be modified by the concrete circumstances in situ. The reality will have a final say.

    So, what's happened to you, Lia, in this reincarnation, is not necessarily a consequence of smth. you did in your PL, it may have nothing to do with your PL at all, and be just what is vulgarily known as bad luck, a fatal casuality.

    I may plan to enter the Naval Academy of Livorno at the age of 20 in my next life, but if by some unforseen casuality one of my possible future biological parents passes to me some hideous genetic disease (like leucemia, schizophrenia, etc., e.g.), I may say good-bye to this dream of mine. And it may be even worse.

    In one of Michael Newton's books - I don't remember exactly where (sorry for that), there is an episode when a soul in LBL peeps into its possible next life through some kind of a TV set, and can see oneself, one's possible future parents and some other relatives, their home, their environments, etc., so that this souls can appreciate whether it's worth while for it to choose this concrete variant.

    But there always are lots of hidden parameters, or simple negative casualities, a row of bad chances, evil coincidences that cannot be foreseen, and can turn out to be fatal when the reincarnation really takes place.

    That simple.

    As Einstein once said, "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (he meant our theories about anything).

    IMHO.

    Best regards.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2021
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  8. Lia1992

    Lia1992 Senior Member

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    Hey Cyrus, thanks for your reply! :D

    I never viewed my current life as a punishment for something I did in my previous life. And, to me, it's ALWAYS worth to choose an open family who believes in my views on child raising even if there will be complications along the way.
    Also, didn't mention this in my initial post: I'd also like a older sister in my next life. :)
     
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  9. Cyrus

    Cyrus Senior Registered

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    Oh, Lia, I guess the concrete desired details of your next life should better be talked about with your Spiritual Guide(s) (in LBL).
    They might approve or disapprove your desires, and even attempt to dissuade you in case they disagree, but - if we take all this talk about free will seriously - the last word will be yours.

    How curious the detail about an elder sister in your next life.

    And I've always dreamt about an elder brother in this life - strong, smart and kind, always ready to defend me (especially when I was a little boy) and give me a good advice, but never had one, not even male cousins of the ages comparable to mine and living near me. Punished? I don't exclude that.

    Sometimes I perceive my PL "me" as my elder brother, though now I'm much older than "him" when killed.
    I always call my Guardian Angel, who was my PL cousin, only as "fratello", "frate" (= brother).
    I have some Latin American friends who call me "hermano" (= brother), and I know some Cubans that even call me "broder" (modification of the English word "brother").

    I'm not so sure about the advantages of what you call "extended breastfeeding and self-weaning". I know some rural zones where they practice the former, but when a child arrives at a certain age, the child's mother starts putting salt on her nipples to stimulate the latter. Or else it could interfere with the babies' learning to smoke and drink beer.
    You'll have to place your next life in some remote rural environment, if these features are so important to you. I guess, too, that it's almost a norm in countries like Mongolia.

    Best Regards.

    IMHO.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2021
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  10. Lia1992

    Lia1992 Senior Member

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    Well, children need physical comfort and need to feel safe and secure. At an older age, breastfeeding is no longer about physical nourishment but psychological one: it helps to relax, for instance.
    Here is a good article explaining why it is important: 10 Reasons to Breastfeed an Older Child | Happiness is here (happinessishereblog.com)
     
  11. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

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    I would have to caution about wanting an older sister in the next life. Maybe this is because I'm the youngest and have 4 older sisters in this life, but from my experience older sisters are very bossy. Still to this day I'm working out childhood trauma from my older sisters bossing me around and bullying me. As for breast feeding I have plans if I have kids in this life possibly breast feeding them but not when they are toddlers. As a young kid in this life I would get a lot of attention from my mother in this life and now I hate to say it but am kind of spoiled and still crave the attention my mother gave me as a kid to the point I go crazy. Im not saying that my parents were bad but I do feel they spoiled me and my older sisters too much when we were growing up and if I do have kids of my own I will try my best not to spoil them so much.
     
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  12. SeekerOfKnowledge

    SeekerOfKnowledge Learner

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    The next life MAY be about unfulfilled desires, but personally, I don't think it necessarily will be about what we currently want or wish for.
    Because, in my personal belief, there is a difference between what we wish for while incarnated/"what the ego wants" and what our soul needs to exprerience.
    It still may be the same, because if an "individual" soul needs a certain experience and didn't have it yet, according to my belief, the soul will get the opportunity in future lives until they can have the experience.
     
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  13. Lia1992

    Lia1992 Senior Member

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    Concerning sisters, I think it all depends on how you grow up and how you're raised. Also, just because you had a bad experience with sisters doesn't mean that this is a universal experience. ;)
    And concerning breastfeeding, it of course depends on whether the child still wants to breastfeed. It's entirely natural to breastfeed for a few years and it's no coincidence that we call the first teeth milk teeth. They will often fall out at the average age a child self-weans. And you can't force a child to breastfeed of course! That being said, you can't spoil a child via breastfeeding if they still need it. If they didn't, they literally wouldn't breastfeed!
    Here are two articles on the two subjects, siblings and breastfeeding:
    In case you didn't know... Siblings can be FRIENDS! | Happiness is here (happinessishereblog.com)
    10 Reasons to Breastfeed an Older Child | Happiness is here (happinessishereblog.com)
     
  14. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

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    Perhaps just because I have a bad relationship with my older sisters doesn't mean everyone has bad relationships with their older siblings. Besides I do find I get along better with my two oldest sisters more so then the two that are closer in age to me. Also I don't think I was breastfed as a baby. It was more my parents would give me attention by cuddling me and buying me stuff. Now because of all the cuddling I would get as a child I really crave that kind of attention. It especially didn't help that as a teenager sex ed scared me to the point that as a teenager I was very closed and didn't start opening back up until college. Now I feel as though I'm missing out on affection. I have a boyfriend currently but he's very introverted and isn't the most affectionate. But other than that he's a great guy. I can open up more to him than other people. Besides as much as I crave attention I know better than to force a guy into a more serious relationship as I don't like it when a guy tries to force me into a serious relationship too soon. I think with my boyfriend I just need to learn patience.
     
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  15. Lia1992

    Lia1992 Senior Member

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    It’s important to notice if the Child wants or has the need to be cuddled at that particular moment. It’s not the cuddling itself nor the large number of cuddlings that was the problem but rather that you were cuddled regardless of whether you had a need for it.
    That’s one of the defining signs of childism: adults decide for the children what the children should do instead of asking them. That should never happen regardless of parenting techniques. If you want your child to grow up happily, it’s useless to buy them stuff they do not want or need! That doesn’t mean you should deny them stuff either but listen to the child‘s needs and act accordingly. If the child still needs breastfeeding, then you breastfeed them. If you listen to their needs, they won’t need to breastfeed beyond the natural average time of self-weaning between five to seven years. If they have a need to breastfeed beyond that period (say, when they’re 13 years or above) then you know you have done something wrong and either didn’t breastfed them at all (+ no alternative soothing device such as pacifier or bottles as was the case with me) or you breastfed them without their consent and too much so. Something like that likely happened with your cuddling. You may not have resisted because you thought that would have been bad, perhaps unconsciously.
     
  16. GalaxyDreamer90

    GalaxyDreamer90 Senior Member

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    Well i can't really say rather or not I wanted to be cuddled as a kid. I just remember liking the feeling of being cuddled as a kid possibly because I found it kind of bonding.
     

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