WWII--Fighter Pilot

[sarque]

I'm new to this forum, but I've been fascinated by past lives for a long time. I have been regressed--both by regression therapists and by using regression tapes myself. I wanted to share my story and ask a question. One thing that has been recurring throughout my life, ever since I was a little girl, is memories and dreams of World War II.

I have always been interested in World War II to an almost obsessive extent, but I have also always experienced a lot of guilt surrounding WWII; I have felt as though I was to blame for what the German army did and what the Nazi party did. I am terrified of loud noises, such as fireworks or gunshots, and I used to have full blown panic attacks whenever planes would fly overhead.

Based upon my regressions and dreams I now believe that I experienced a past life as a German fighter pilot, which could be the reason that I am afraid of airplanes. My problem is that the regressions have not helped me overcome these fears, which have, at various points in my life, been almost crippling. From my research, I have read that many phobias are lessened when people link the fears to their past lives and deal with them that way.

I guess my question is--how does one overcome phobias and feelings of guilt when regression itself has seemingly not helped?

 

[ChrisR]

Hi sarque, and welcome to the forum, thanks for sharing your experience with us.


I'm not sure if there is a definitive answer to your question as each person deals with their past life issues in different ways, and at their own pace. Sometimes it can take a whole lifetime to let go of that guilt that you are feeling, it is a process that can take a long time, but you have taken a positive step by joining this forum, where you can share that guilt with others who are in a similar situation as yourself.


I'm sure we've all done bad things in our past lives. We've all been here many times before, and I don't think anyone can claim to have led a blameless life in all their incarnations, even if they don't remember the bad things. You just have to remind yourself that whatever you did in the past, it remains in the past, and you are not that person anymore. If you feel the guilt in this life, then you've already learnt some of the lessons you needed to learn from past life misdeeds in my opinion.


I think the best way to deal with a phobia is to face it head on, this does work as I am living proof, I used to be irrationally terrified of thunder and lightning.... really terrified, until one day I was brave and forced myself to face a storm and I kind of guided myself through it. Now I actually enjoy thunderstorms, although I still get a 'flutter' in my stomach, it's no longer a problem. I'm not sure if you could apply the same thing with aeroplanes, otherwise maybe you should speak to a professional therapist about it. There are a few threads about phobias here in the forum: Irrational phobias and Past life influences on fears. I hope they help you and show you that you are not alone here. Maybe some of the others will give you some better suggestions. Enjoy your time here.


Chris

 

[soulfreindly]

Hello Sarque


I am rewriting this post as I wanted to add some things.


Sorry you are having a hard time Sarque. I too suffered from alot of fear and through regression work became aware of my guilt. Sometimes just remembering the event does not help to get over the fear... sometimes it does. If there was one size fits all I would think that the spiritual work required of us would be relatively easy as alot of people can be regressed easily. It is not always easy though to dig up those feelings that are really deeply hidden and then deal with them .. There are layers we need to continue to unpeel .


The journey of spiritual work towards finding balance and happiness is a long one as Chris has said. I have found in order to get over fears totally it is necessary to hold strong to the positive and to keep on doing good deeds.. Habits are hard to break and those karmic links we have developed in our mind can be strong.


I would suggest to keep on working at it.. You know you have this work to do concerning that particular phobia/guilt , just put it on the back burner maybe for awhile and as with anything it may take more time.. I found it was important to keep on exploring all of the facets of this life and the past . Sometimes it is in the mundane things that we can find the biggest pieces to our puzzle. Do something different maybe . I would not give up on regression work but I would take a bit of a detour as maybe your approach needs a different angle.


Keeping on focusing on the fear/guilt could be making it stronger.Some of my fears/ guilt took many years to develop the character to get over .


I was having a hard time at one point[ among others in my life } and followed the advice of a Rabbi who suggested doing some volunteer work. I took on a smallish project , something I was passionate about and it plus sharing on forums like this one, helped to turn around some of my fears I had about life, some of which were being triggered badly from a past life.


Would you like to share more of your memories with us?? How many lives have you remembered?? Details can be helpful to explore as sharing can sometimes trigger other important aspects of your feelings.


soulfreindly

 

[p99guy]

Please understand that as a fighter pilot in the Luftwaffe, you were simply serving your country, doing the same exact things as any American, British, Russian, Polish fighter pilot did.


If you lasted till late in the war, you were mainly protecting German civilians from the onslaught of day and night bombing by the allied forces. You went though horrors and hardships of your country being destroyed, and losing friends, family members, and squadron mates. You in your previously life


suffered greatly, as all mankind does, espicially the soldiers in time of war. You have seen things that no one should have had to see.


There is no need to continue to punish yourself, you have done nothing wrong.......... You have done nothing wrong.

 

[soulfreindly]

Please understand that as a fighter pilot in the Luftwaffe, you were simply serving your country, doing the same exact things as any American, British, Russian, Polish fighter pilot did.

Hi p88guy ... I think this is dependent on the person and their awareness. Some fighter pilots would be doing that in regards to that motivation. But some would have recognition that their country had been the ones who were the initial aggressor. IT this is true then it lays on their consciousness in some part . Once we know something is wrong then it is our responsibility to try and make some changes. This is why we do wrestle with our consciousness always looking for more courage to do the right thing.


So for Sarque , you would have to find out for yourself in your regression work where you were coming from .


I had a somewhat similar experience concerning guilt in one of my first regressions. . I remembered being a landowner with slaves in ancient Egypt . I felt alot of guilt after my death. I knew that my now parents were some of those slaves. I wondered about my repsonsibility in that situation. Upon doing more work around that memory , I remembered how after death I was actually present in spirit as my slaves{ my now parents} were talking about me as they prepared my body for mummification. It was like I was a fly on the wall listening in about their thoughts.


They talked badly of me... in regards to their state of life-- ie they were slaves and that was a nasty life.


I realised that I had not thought deeply at all about their life until that moment. I say deeply as I had not mistreated them badly . I always made sure they had food and shelter. But I had not given much thought to how demeaning that position in life must have felt like.


< I had not been an awful slave owner in terms of the norm back then, but I was the one with the power and I was welding it < Having the memory in the bardo{ time after death} helped me to understand more why I felt guilty.


I realised that I had become afraid of my parents wrath. I really had gotten overly guilty ridden from that experience. To the point that I was holding onto too much guilt. This was reflected in our life together for this life. Me playing the victim and not standing up for that victim .


We as humans are good at denial. We take our mind off of the truth about ourselves by feeding ourselves with things --food, work, material things. In order to really comfront our denial , there are those times like solitude which can help us to see this. In that bardo state I was alone listening with the full impact of their feelings. IT was those raw feelings of those slaves that made me jump. It was a bit of a rude awakening, one which could have been handled with more love, but which was normal for those slaves as they were not advanced souls with the ability to forgive.


This is how I see is our spiritual journey-- finding our true feelings and soul,.. We learn by being confronted with our weaknesses , Sometimes we get the love we need , maybe when we have worked at deserving it?? SOmeitmes we learn in what seems like a hard way. I guess it all still comes back to we learn through the love of a more knowing source than I will ever be equal to.


Sarque have you done a regression to the state in between life?? This also could be beneficial for you .


soulfreindly

 

[sarque]

@ ChrisR: Thank you for welcoming me to the forum and for suggesting those threads to me. I have found such interesting things here, I'm really glad that I signed up, I do feel that it is a positive step towards coming to terms with some of my past life memories and phobias resulting from them. Strangely enough I hadn't thought about facing my phobia head on. I've tried just about everything else, but not that. I usually have to be sedated to within an inch of my life just to go on a plane, but your suggestion intrigues me because I hadn't thought of it before. Simply face it... why not?


@ soulfreindly: Thank you for your welcoming words and sharing some of your memories with me. I have only remembered and been regressed to 2 past lives, one of which was the lifetime in Germany and one of which was a lifetime in the the middle ages, in Denmark. Both lifetimes have involved me being in the military, and I was male in both, although I am female in this one. I have not been able to access any other lives. I feel strongly that this is the first lifetime where I have been female, and that perhaps I have something to learn from that. When I was a little kid I used to march around the front yard telling my mother I was doing military 'drills', and I was completely insistent upon the fact that I had been in the military before. This feeling has only intensified as I went through regressions.


I have never regressed to the state between lives. That's an interesting suggestion. I have not always had success with regression, many attempts at regressing myself have been fruitless. Many of my memories have been introduced to me in dreams, and later appeared within regressions.


@p99guy: Your words meant a lot to me, thank you. It's nice to know that there are people here who can understand some of what I'm going through in this life and remind me that my guilt is from a different life, and that I have done nothing wrong here. In that life I survived the war--I have had conflicting feelings of guilt and relief about that ever since I started being aware of these memories. From reading the other threads I realize you experienced a lifetime in WWII as well. It's nice to meet you.


To everyone: One thing I worry about is that if I continue to be regressed and access more of my memories of this lifetime, I will uncover things I don't want to. For some reason I'm afraid of learning a lot about it, probably because I've had the idea in my head for my entire life that people who fought in the German army were all terrible people. I get the sense that if I was regressed successfully enough, I could recover a name of who I used to be in that life. That seems slightly scary to me. Because of this nervousness, perhaps it would be better to do regressions with regression therapists rather than alone?

 

[Deborah]

You might enjoy reading Mending the Past - healing the future.


Also remember - you lived before WWII - perhaps the fears originated much earlier. Some where on the forum there is information about going back further to heal completely.


I also suggest Hazel Denning's books especially the one about living without guilt.


I'll look later this week for you.

 

[p99guy]

Nice to meet you as well, Sarque. There is a book that may help put things into perspective. I have read it and much enjoyed the book. its availible on amazon.com


On Hitler's Mountain: Overcoming the Legacy of a Nazi Childhood (P.S.) by Irmgard A. Hunt (Paperback - Jan 31, 2006)


It covers the time in which you would have been a teenager and what day to day life was like, and just how little choice


a young person had but to do the will of the state, it was taught in school, and also used the pressure of your peers.


My step son has lived in Germany for 10 yrs now with his family and I have been over to see them 5 times, and the German people as a whole are very nice and like Americans (better than a sizable number of the french does lol)


here I am with two German policeman in the town of ULM

 

[sarque]

@Deborah: Thanks so much for the suggestions. I will look into the books, they look like just the sort of thing that I need.


@p99guy: Thank you also for the book recommendation. I hadn't heard of it, although I've read a lot of books about WWII, so that's very interesting. That's a neat photo! I've never been to Germany but I've always wanted to go. It's like I was reading about in another thread--there is just a sense of homesickness around it for me.


A few nights ago I had a dream that may have been a past life memory. I know that in my dream I was speaking in German, even though I could understand it. Now I did learn some rudimentary German as a child, and then again in my first year of college, but it's not a language I'm fluent in (I am, however, fluent in Spanish). But in this dream, I was perfectly able to understand everything said, despite the fact I knew that it was in a language that I do not fluently speak in this current life. Has this happened to anyone else?


Another thing... in these dreams people call me Rudi. I don't know if this is a given name or a nickname. Like I said in my previous comment, I worry that if I remember the whole name then I will learn things I don't necessarily want to. But part of me wants to validate the memory by remembering a name and looking up the name.

 

[LotusRacer]

Dear Sarque,


You say early on "ever since I was a little girl". I suspect your guilt and your fears may stem from many things. First, you see yourself committing acts of violence against others and associate that with wrongdoing. As a policeman in this lifetime I sometimes had to inflict pain on others to effect compliance. It wasn't something I did because I enjoyed it; rather something to protect myself or others. I can look back upon that and while distasteful, know it was necessary at the time. But in a future life I may look back at that same action with a different mental outlook and see my actions as brutality. Do you see my point?


I feel you may be experiencing the actions of the fighter pilot but rationalizing them as a present day female. Your upbringing may be such that you regard that as horrific. Your regression does not indicate your actions then were evil. They may have been, and they may have been necessary to protect others.


The people on this network are focused on helping others understand and learn more about the process by which we gain insite into our past lives. Few of us are really trained in resolving deep psychological problems others may have. I would recommend seeking professional help to resolve this issue. Only when you fully understand it will you be at peace over it.


Carl

 

[sarque]

@LotusRacer: That's a good point. I think a lot of my feelings of guilt probably have stemmed from this life since I was taught that certain things were 'evil' or 'bad', and my former life seemed to reflect those things. I definitely am seeking professional help, and wouldn't expect those here to be able to solve those things, but I like that the people here are very understanding, and as you said, can help each other seek insight into past lives. It's nice to know that there is a community of people who understand a lot of what each person who has past life memories goes through to gain insight into them.


I have had some great suggestions so far from everyone in this thread, thank you.

 

[Maxine]

Sarque,


You could well be right that the guilt you are feeling is a projection. I agree with what has been said here that as aircrew you were likely just doing your job.


I have a friend with p/l pilot memories both WW1 and WW2. He has NO problem accepting that he was a German pilot in WW1. There is no big stigma attached to that. WW2 is another story.


He had a persistent, recurrent nightmare about being the pilot of a WW2 bomber that had an engine on fire and trying to hold it level while his crew got out. It was night time in his dream. It was always the same what he dreamt.


He said 'I think I must have been an American in WW2'. Well he drew the best pic he could of this bomber. In his dream he ended up outside the bomber just before it blew up. We wondered if he bailed out too, with the rest of his crew, but concluded, in the end, that he must have gone out of body just before it blew up. From what was going on inside it - he had loose bombs rolling around - we don't think he would have been able to leave the pilot's seat to get to an exit. Maybe he did leave his seat, and was knocked down and killed by a loose bomb before he got out the door? Irrelevant.


He said it was dark and he could see no markings on the bomber once he could see it from outside. He saw it only briefly before it blew up.


1) Night bombing does not fit to Americans, who did daylight raids with Flying Fortresses. I could be wrong and there were night time ones too, but I don't think so.


2) The closest match to this picture he drew was a Heinkel (sp?).


3) He had been a German pilot before, so why the resistance?


My friend also had a large collection of eagle ornaments. Both Germans and Americans are keen on eagles. A lot of his were very 'suspiciously' German looking. He even wore one on his flying jacket this life, a silver pin of an eagle, which though an American eagle, looked incredibly reminiscent, the way it was posed, of Nazi wings. If people remarked on this he got very offended, but it was true that it DID look like that.


In the end he decided that the evidence stacked up, overwhelmingly, that it was a German bomber. Though he was hugely resistant to this. Once he accepted this, which took a long,long time, he stopped having the dream.

 

[sarque]

@Maxine: I also have recurring dreams (which sometimes turn out to be nightmares) about WWII. I think your friend's story is very interesting--I can relate, because it's something that I have never fully wanted to accept. It is heartening to me that once your friend accepted their past life, the nightmares stopped. From the really wonderful responses I've had from people here, it seems to me that perhaps acceptance is one of the keys to moving past my phobias and guilt. Even if I had done terrible things in that life, that's not who I am right now. And as many of you said (thank you so much), it is likely that I was just doing my job.


I'm interested in exploring my memories further. I'm going to do a self-regression using a regression CD today and see what happens. It is possible that it won't be successful; my self-regressions don't seem to have the same success that professional ones do, but since this has been in my mind so much lately maybe it is the right time to continue to explore.


It's so interesting reading everyone's stories here. I have never found a place where people are so open to exploring these things--it really gives me hope that these memories can be healing rather than hindering. I feel positive today.

 

[soulfreindly]

Glad you are having a good day Sarque.:thumbsup:.. Things go up and down in my life and sometimes exploring some of these things seem to be making it worse. BUt it is really for the best in the end and it is worth the effort to keep on working at things


GOod luck with the regression and keep us posted.


soulfreindly

 

[sarque]

My regression actually went fairly well. I've been mulling it over in my head for awhile and decided to post about it. Although I didn't get quite as vibrant and exciting of memories as many of you have, I was pleased that I at least remembered something.


I remember flying what strikes me as a Focke Wulf 190. I may be mistaken, but that sounds the most accurate based upon what I saw. Suddenly there was this huge noise. It sounded like thunder and I instinctively ducked, despite the fact that I was in a plane and knew that I couldn't get away from the noise. It's funny that that's what I was thinking--I had to get away from the noise, not anything else. At that point it felt like the floor was falling out from under me and I know that I crashed the plane. I was thinking over and over, "I've just made a terrible mistake". I knew that we had been doing something dangerous and that it was likely I'd be shot down--but I was cocky and thought that I never could. I don't think I died in that crash. I do think I blacked out before the plane actually hit the ground, because I don't remember that part.


That was what most of the regression entailed. I do know that I later died, ironically, in a flying accident unrelated to the war. However, from a lot of my reading, this seems fairly common, since many people keep flying even after the war is over. I survived the war and received medals, and I was extremely close to several fellow airmen, one of whom I believe was named Karl.


As I've said, my self-regressions are not always as detailed or successful as the ones I undergo with therapists. But this one seemed successful, if only because I remembered something that I never had dreamt about or remembered before. I didn't know that I'd survived being shot down until this regression.

 

[soulfreindly]

Good to hear about your memory Sarque..


It reminds me of mine from WWII where I also was on the cockey side as a teenage Brit who convinced my freind that it was not a big deal going into the military,, also another life where I went to sea on a warship. I was young and male and had no deep concepts of having ones life end too soon. In this life I have done some catching up on learning , experiencing a long chronic illness which made me feel more like fighting for the right of everyone to deserve a long fullfilling life.

 

[alaskanlaughter]

I'm glad you had a successful regression and thanks for sharing it with us. :thumbsup: It sounds like you made some progress on a memory. That's great!

 

[Maxine]

Sarque,


That is an interesting memory you had. Nice looking aeroplane the Focke Wulf 190, I looked it up after you posted.


What you are saying would have been very common, both WW1 and WW2, to have survived the war and gone on to have a career as a pilot afterwards. Unfortunately, not all that uncommon to end up being killed in an accident either.


I had been meaning to ask you how much of a handicap this fear of aeroplanes is to you in this life? Are you afraid to travel on an airliner? If so, does that matter? Is it effecting your life/restricting it in the present?


I was thinking it might help if you went to a local flying school and explained you were afraid of flying (no need to say why). Ask if you could sit in the cockpit of a light plane with an instructor and have him explain the controls and instruments to you (you will likely remember most of it anyway), apart from modern radio and navigation aid set ups.


See, perhaps, how you get on with that. No need for it to be moving or have the engines running or go up in it.


If it really gives you the vapours doing that, it might, at least, release some memories in dreams or via using your tape, or a further professional regression. On the other hand, re familiarizing yourself up close, in a safe way, on the ground, might help. if you crashed an aeroplane and got killed likely your root fear is that you - for whatever reason - there could be dozens - lost control of it. You confidence in your p/l abilities as a pilot have been damaged as a result. The sense of having lost control could be having wider implications now, in the present for you.


Just a thought.


Maxine

 

[sarque]

Thank you everyone for your affirming words--I have felt better after doing this regression, I think it's a good thing for me to get these memories out in the open.


@Maxine: My fear of airplanes does not prevent me from air travel, however I do have to take a lot of anxiety medication such as Valium before I get on a plane. I think my fear around flying in this lifetime is that I feel that I am not in control--I have to sit in the cabin and know that my life is in someone else's hands, and I can't control anything that happens during the flight. This is extremely nerve wracking for me and really makes it so that I am hesitant to take trips that require flying, although I do it if necessary.


My father actually had suggested a similar thing that you did. He also suggested that I take flying lessons, although that may be something that may take awhile for me to be comfortable with. I do think that if I were in in airplane in the position of 'control', even if I weren't flying it for real, I'd feel a lot better about my relationship with flying. I thought it was really interesting that you picked out the thing about control, because that's really what has been at the root of my fear of flying--the fact that I have very little control.

 

[Maxine]

Sarque,


I am glad you felt the regression you did has assist you. I think you need these memories out in the open too.


As I was saying to you, my friend with both WW1 and WW2 pilot memories was so hung up on his determination that he was an American, not a German, in WW2 he could not get past that burning bomber dream he kept on having. He refused to see a p/l therapist, though I was seeing one, and sometimes he even drove me to her house for appointments. I think he was afraid of having what he already knew on some deeper level - that it was a Nazi bomber - being confirmed for him. He had to own this in his own time, and it took him years.


If you have been decorated p/l as a fighter pilot for shooting people down you could likely have some hang ups surrounding that too. You might have had them in that life. I have a this life friend who was decorated for killing people in Vietnam. He has had to deal with this issue in the here and now.


I was decorated in my p/l in WW1 for shooting people down. Though initially I feel I was an oblivious idiot and had a positive 'Gimme a medal' attitude. I feel by the end of that p/l I had clued in that this was a pretty appalling thing to be being given medals for, killing fellow pilots. NOT that I felt that there was much choice, other than shoot them down, war is war, but being decorated for it is just sick.


I have been a commercial pilot and a flying instructor in this life. So I do know where you are coming from about feeling helpless in 'the back seat'. I think it is a control thing for sure, and I think a lot of pilots tend to have 'control freak' personalities. In the war/s it was one of the few ways you could - sort of - at least have the illusion that you were in control of your own destiny -by being a pilot. In some ways it was true.


Your father's flying lesson idea is a good one. But if you pursue it I would suggest you make it known that you are nervous and make sure you get a senior and experienced instructor. The wrong instructor can damage your confidence, even if you do not have any pre-existing hang ups.


If you were to do that, it would also be helpful to know in advance what the circumstances of the p/l accident were. If it was weather related, or if an engine failed, or if you got lost and ran out of fuel, or whatever. Because if you find yourself in a situation that begins to resemble it you may become very disturbed. But if you know what it is you may be able to do exercises that help you to overcome it and make you feel back in control.


PS It is possible too that you yourself were not flying at the time of the p/l fatal accident. You may have been for instance trying to deal with an arrogant captain you could see was making mistakes, but who would not listen to you as the first officer. Or you might just have been positioning aircrew, or along for the ride. That would explain your dread, if so.

 

[soulfreindly]

Hello Sarque,,


How about reading about pilot's experiences or documentaries?. I found it extremely helpful reading about the life and times of those people's lives that experienced the same thing that I was having post traumatic triggers to in this life. It was interesting as I have not been a big reader but once I got into the biographies of people from that time I could not stop. It helped open a flood gate of emotions and thoughts.

 

[sarque]

@Maxine: You're right that the fact that I was decorated for shooting down other pilots can be difficult to deal with in this life. The more I think about it the more I realize that that probably makes my feelings of guilt worse. As you said, it's bad enough to have to kill people, although that's what is necessary in war time, but being decorated for it is much worse.


I don't know that I will pursue the flying lessons idea yet. I did like your suggestion of simply getting to sit there and be shown the controls and not be actually off the ground. I think if that went well then I'd pursue the flying lessons idea a little further. But you're right, I'd have to find the right instructor.


I wish I did know the circumstances of the accident that killed me after the war. My first accident was because I was shot down during the war, but I survived that one. Perhaps I should do a regression to the time of death.


I had a thought, though. If I had been a decorated fighter pilot, it might be possible that there would be a way to find out a name and confirmation of this lifetime. I have no idea how to go about it, but it's something that I am becoming more interested in.


@soulfreindly: That's a good idea that I never even thought of! I have done a little reading about pilots and planes (which I think is the reason it was easy for me to identify the type of plane I flew) but I've never really read biographies or experiences of people there, mostly just history books. Thank you for your suggestion!

 

[Maxine]

Sarque,


I certainly think you should ask your p/l therapist to take you to the circumstances of your death in that life. You said the regression therapy wasn't helping you much. Well it won't, unless you deal with the messy bits where the PTSD - and this does sound like past life PTSD - are coming from.


It would be good also to see what went on in the Focke Wulf and what the cause of the thunderous bang was. You mentioned that one of your fears now is of loud noises. If you think you got shot down (very likely) ask the therapist - before you start -to try to allow you to see an outside perspective in the regression so you can see what went on from a 'God's eye view'.


You also need to find out what the 'terrible mistake' you made then was.


If you wish to investigate who you were you could ask the therapist to take you to some circumstance that would reveal your last name. Asking to see your p/l pilot's log book might be an idea, you'd have written your name and other details on the first page. Your p/l pilot's licence also would tell you.


If you find out what your decorations were then too, that might help make your p/l easier to trace. It might also help to be regressed to how you FELT about those decorations at the time, as well as what they were.


Really, you have got material for a number more regressions here. Also your fear of aircraft overhead suggests you have been caught up in having bombs dropped on you at one point. Or else/as well - people you knew then, loved ones, were killed by bombs (very likely).


I'll PM you.

 

[sarque]

@Maxine: Thanks so much for PMing me, you've been really helpful and I've been enjoying our conversation =)


One thing that occurs to me is that despite the fact that I do feel guilt surrounding these memories, the guilt is from this life, not that life, as many of you mentioned. When I'm actually regressed or have dreams, I feel that I was happy in that life. There is no sense of guilt, although I don't think that I actively enjoyed being in the war, I also was very proud of my talents and happy with my friends. I wonder if that makes me feel even more guilty in this life time.

 

[soulfreindly]

One thing that occurs to me is that despite the fact that I do feel guilt surrounding these memories, the guilt is from this life, not that life, as many of you mentioned. When I'm actually regressed or have dreams, I feel that I was happy in that life. There is no sense of guilt, although I don't think that I actively enjoyed being in the war, I also was very proud of my talents and happy with my friends. I wonder if that makes me feel even more guilty in this life time.

I had a similar thing happen where I felt no remorse during the life . But upon a further regression I realised how I was feeling afterwards. . It was in spirit after my death that I became aware of the guilt.. and that is what recreated the karma ... I remember feeling like a fly on the wall as the people told of their hard feelings toward me as they prepared my body for burial.. It felt like a rude awakening.. only I could not awake to speak for myself which only made those feelings get trapped in me I suppose.


Those people where my now parents and I can see how my karma was developed from that time.. an attachment which can be broken once I let go of that guilt. It was a parrallel feeling. In that life they had been my slaves and they felt overworked. Well, in this life I felt overworked by their expectations ..I came to view my guilt from a different angle to realise that that is their perspective... ie they saw work as their duty and were not doing things from a sense of love and of a truthful self. So maybe they created that life as a slave?? -- still thinking about that ???


So I wonder that a regression to the bardo { the time you spent in between lives } would be helpful Sarque/??

 

[p99guy]

The noise that you heard in the cockpit of your "Butcher Bird"


-what the FW190 was called by its pilots....could have been several things in air to air combat. Most all if the american fighters you would have contacted, and all the american bombers were armed with .50 caliber machine guns. Which would have sounded like violent hail on a tin roof when hitting your plane.Americans used Armor peircing Incindeary ammunition- Subsequently Sometimes the gas tank explodes, and can blow a wing off.


The American P38 twin tail fighter, and most british fighters at that time carried 20mm cannons either in addition to machine guns, or in the case of the Hawker Typhoon , 4 cannons. A 20mm cannon has an explosive projectile, unlike a machinegun bullet...a hit from one to 5 or so can destroy a FW190 and would not sound like hail....it would sound like multiple explosions.(certainly a sound that would cause you to duck,....then fight to get the canopy off and get out of the gyrating crippled bird.Cannon armed British Mosquito Nightfighters would also accompany night bombing raids late in the war to try to shoot down german fighters sent up at night to pick off the Lancasters.

 

[sarque]

Well, I did another professional regression at the suggestion of many of you here (thank you all for that suggestion, by the way) and I'm certainly glad that I did. I had wanted to regress to the time that I non-fatally crashed, because interestingly enough I believe that is where a good deal of my fear of flying and fear of loss of control comes from. I may regress to the fatal crash at some point, but right now I am working on processing this one. The memories that I recovered have me somewhat shaken up, although not as much as I was at the time of the regression of course, and I think that writing about them here will definitely help me sort through it.


I remember I wasn't flying with the people that I usually did. I'd been transferred to another group because I was helping to instruct in flying as well as doing missions myself. It was right after I'd been transferred to this new group and I felt really cocky about my abilities--I was instructing other fighter pilots and I'd had a lot of success flying with my previous group. I definitely never thought that I would be injured in any way, despite the fact that one of my friends had been shot down recently, I just assumed that I was luckier. We were fighting a group of US planes and I was doing well.


Then there was that horrible noise. There wasn't any warning for it, I didn't see anything coming at me or anything. One moment I was thinking that this mission was easy, and the next moment there was this huge explosion/thunder like noise. As I said in my previous thread, I ducked, even though there wasn't really anywhere to go. Then there was another loud noise and I felt like I was falling. It really was like the floor had fallen out from underneath me, and I was swearing and trying to stay level and get away from what was going on. I was thinking that I'd made a terrible mistake somehow (I think my mistake was that I had been too overly confident that nobody would hit me, and I wasn't as cautious as I could have been). I was trying to make something happen in the plane to level it out or to get it steady but nothing I was doing was working. It felt as though none of the controls would respond to any of my attempts (my fear of loss of control in airplanes, perhaps?) but strangely enough I still wasn't getting scared. I knew that I'd been hit, I knew I was going down, but I still thought that I could somehow land the plane and walk away unharmed.


Then all of a sudden I became aware that the plane was on fire, and that because of where I'd been hit (I think I'd been hit in the tail area and this caused some kind of explosion) then the plane was spinning. That's when I panicked. I started swearing even more and thinking "I have to get out of here, I have to get out of here" but at that point I knew it was too late. I didn't even try to get out, everything was making horrible noises and I felt like the plane was falling apart around me. I closed my eyes and knew that I was essentially done for. That's when I think I blacked out because I don't actually remember hitting the ground, but I know I hit the ground shortly thereafter, and I think that I was quite fortunately thrown out of the plane and onto the ground myself, otherwise it seems likely that I would have died. I just remember that it hurt, worse than anything else had hurt before and that I couldn't move one of my arms, and that my head felt like it was literally splitting in half. I must have blacked out again because there aren't any more memories from actually crashing. I just knew that I wasn't dead, but I thought I probably was going to die before anyone found me or helped me, and even if I didn't die I'd probably never be able to fly again. Luckily that wasn't the case, for either of those things.


It was really traumatic to go through again. I just felt the terror and despair once I realized that there was no way out of the plane. I also felt stupid because I realized that I had been thinking I'd be fine even after my plane had been hit and was going down. If I'd been a little quicker and more willing to admit what was going on I might have been able to get out in time and avoid being so badly wounded. I realize that I've been blaming myself for this for so long--even though it was someone else that shot me down, I felt like it was my fault that I had been too cocky and unaware of what was going on around me. There is really nothing more terrifying than losing control in a situation like that and that's what happened to me.


Sorry, that went a little long, I think.

 

[soulfreindly]

Hello Sarque..


Glad to hear of your regression and no not too long a description.


Do you feel any different in a positive way??


I ask because I wonder that if you have not overcome your fear then you should do a regression without having any preconceived plans. Sometimes just remembering the event does not resolve the emotional trigger , Since you are wrapped up in your sense of guilt about being too cocky I get the feeling that the roots of your guilt could lie in other life experiences . Maybe the people may be the same, maybe not, but there will be some connecting theme which started the guilt to develop...


Not that the guilt is wrong, as guilt is a natural part of being human .. just that there is a lesson to learn , a direction that you could have taken had you had the strength of character to take it in another life /other lives before the WWII fighter pilot life .. And this could have not really had to do with your flying the plane ,,


I think our minds can get stuck on coming face to face with death-- when it is the underlying things we have not resolved that we do not feel we have had time to resolve. I was thinking too that who knows , you may have had a near death experience during your first plane crash . In my experience it was a near death experience that changed alot of how I percieved things and it was necessary to relive that.


So you see , it is important to let things remain open when you regress and ask for the insight into what you need to remember.

 

[alaskanlaughter]

I'm glad you've had some successful regressions. You wrote a terrific description of it! :thumbsup:

 

[dark rosaleen]

Hi, Sarque,


Guilt seems to be a common component of the souls who survived Nazi Germany. If it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend has always believed he was an Allied pilot who died from being shot down in WWII, but he feels no anger toward the pilot responsible. For him, it's just a fact. Also, he's an aircraft mechanic now. You'd think he'd be sick of planes, but no. :laugh: