James Dean

[Jim78]

I was watching youtube nonsense tonight and I felt something I haven't really felt in 30 years...jealousy.

There was a brief mention of James Dean, about his rebelling and his angst and whatever indefinable thing that made him the 'Rebel Without A Cause' and I thought about an article I read once during my research that described my past life as being the James Dean of Irish republicanism. I can't find the article but I thought 'How come James Dean is known for rebelling and he didn't have to really put his hands in the crap yet my PL self is known and has much blood on his hands. Why couldn't I live a life where I could make an impact without killing. One where I could live the charmed life, live fast and die young. I did live fast and die young, but in a warlike way. How come Deans artistic abilities were destined to bring him to the fore yet me, as creative as I am, came to the fore through war. It made me feel good for nothing and made me feel like I wish I had Deans life journey and not Collins. He was an artist, he was successful as an artist. I draw, write, create, yet I'm only known for war. I don't know what karma Deans spirit has, but I'd rather have his past rebellious life than have my own.

I wouldn't have this attitude if reincarnation hadn't shown me that we all have our stations in life to learn in an individualistic way. Why wasn't my rebellion tailored like Dean? Why did it have to be tailored like Collins? To be honest, I'd rather be an anonymous 50s greaser imitating Dean than be Collins.

Can anyone else relate to this? Has reincarnation knowledge made anyone else as perplexed about who they've been and who they wished they'd been as its made me?

 

[fireflydancing]

Hey Jim,
What's the problem?
What do you know about James Deans past? Maybe had been in 20 wars before he decided to finally have a decent life without guns and cannons.
You can do the same right now.

 

[SeaAndSky]

Hi Jim,

I feel very out of sync with my past lives, in terms of what I can make out about them. My general sense is that the last few did not end well, and the last one ended extremely poorly. My sense is that my present life was an attempt at a radical change, a completely different "me" . . . but that it has not worked out all that well. I try to not focus too much on it, except that I get a sense that things are very different this time around, but different ain't necessarily better. I feel like a square peg in a world of round holes, or vice versa. So, my sense of things is that we can't really escape very easily from what we have been to be a totally different type of person. Somehow I don't think it is a question of escape, but of being that person with those potentials and somehow using them differently and making a different story with them. So, same you, but making yourself take a different approach to things, thereby creating a different ending . . . . That's about as close as I get.

Cordially,
S&S

 

[KenJ]

I'd rather be an anonymous 50s greaser imitating Dean

That hit close to home although I wasn't a Greaser, I always had a flat-top and didn't like the pretentiousness of my classmates that lived that style although I liked and related to Dean (really liked his female co-stars!). Your mentioning Dean was surprising since it was only a few hours earlier that I had asked my wife if she recalled Sal Mineo, another actor in Rebel. Those were definitely my growing-up years.

If I recall correctly Dean (who was seven years older than I was) didn't have a serene lifetime (unstable childhood mainly), perhaps not all that different from yours - he seemed to address life as an experiment.

 

[John Tat]

S&S....Feeling like a square peg in a round world is normal if you are intent on searching through your past lives(s).. Its no different to me and I'm sure you as well..as we get older and as the younger generations begin to take over we feel more and more like a square peg in a round world...This feeling you have is not a reflection of anything good or bad in your previous incarnations.. or in this incarnation. its just this time everything is very different to last time

Regards

 

[Jim78]

Even if Dean did have 20 wars under his PL belt fireflydancing, I can't ever remember having a life where I wasn't engaged in conflict in some capacity. Dean may have been conflicted in his own self too, but his conflict manifested in a creative fashion. All I ever created was brutal tactics and violent lives that young men in conflicted lands aspired to emulate.

Dean spread empathy with his creations, I spread killing and violent sacrifice with my creations. Deans manifestation of his inner self produced a human connection in the people he touched. I've never produced anything like that in either my current or PL memories. My inner self manifested something a bit more inhuman. So I ask myself why.

Your right. I can change right now. I'm trying to change. I'm just so intrinsically me I don't know how to retool my instincts.

 

[Jim78]

I'm just looking at my past(s) from a completely different perspective S&S.

Like you I'm trying to create a different ending. I'm just can't change who I am and that feels like a complete dead end, so I'm lost.

 

[Jim78]

You would have been seventeen when 'Rebel' came out Ken yes? Its strange to think all of those 50s greasers are probably white haired now. Although my own youth is heading towards middle aged spread now too. At the time I thought being a teen would last forever.

I wish I'd addressed life as an experiment like Dean Ken. I always addressed life as a conundrum. A riddle that required unravelling. I extended that thinking to conflict too. Nothing energised my brain like problem solving.