Vietnam war memories

Discussion in 'Member's Memories - Archive' started by seraphim26, May 7, 2009.

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  1. seraphim26

    seraphim26 New Member

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    During the only regression ive had i was shown/saw the end/death which confirmed my previous thoughts, but didnt see or deal with any 'post death' issues - there simply wasnt time.

    Childhood/Earliest memories -
    From as far back as I can remember i have always loved the outdoors; we lived almost next to the countryside and i had a fascination for the forests near our home, quite why i dont know. I grew up watching tv as most kids do, and i cannot say that i had a particular thing for war, war films or war history, but something led me to become interested in the Vietnam war, why or when this began i have no clear memory of.
    I had a tendency to enjoy things related to the fifties and sixties american lifestyle, the music, cars, society and so forth. The subject of the Vietnam war hit harder than most anything else, but why, again, I dont know. I was young and perhaps impressionable yes, but for me, and my opinion, such a fascination set itself apart from my other interests - nothing affected me the way that time period, or indeed the war did. My earliest 'flash' of a past life if you like came in the form of confusing imagery, running, chaos, falling, black. this repeated on and off for a while, again, why, i dont know.

    Teens
    In 1993 i was diagnosed with Leukaemia, and spent quite awhile dealing with my illness. Even though I still had thoughts regards these 'flashes', much of my time was spent dealing with my health.

    1st/only visit to regressionist
    I had the opportunity to tag along with a friend who was going to see a regressionist for a small article he was writing about past lives. During our time there the regressionist offered to give us an insight into what it was like an we both 'had a try'. I was relaxed in a recliner and my friend was in a comfy chair. Music was playing on a stereo in the background. The process led me to find myself sitting on a tranquil beach, staring up at a blue sky with the sun high and the tide lapping quietly on the shore. After a short time i looked down to my right, and noticed a small silver transistor radio on the sand, next to which were several glass coca cola bottles. I was laid on a chair with simple sandals on and bermuda type shorts. I looked to my right and could see and hear men messing about in the surf, and a few walking along the beach. The beach was brroad and sandy, curved round to the right where large green tropical hills gave way to the sea in the distance. My attention was taken to my left, where sat next to me was a young, medium built man, dressed only in bermuda type shorts and sandals. He was friendly and smiling. He had a chain round his neck, had ginger hair and freckles and spoke in a strong 'californian' accent. He said that he was a long time friend, and now my guardian. He was reluctant to show me what i wanted to see but then i had flashes of what had been on my mind before - running, chaos, falling, black. He showed me images of combat, chaotic stuff, and said that was how i met my end, and that i was right, that i knew the answers already. He said he wouldnt show me more then, but i would find out more in the future, and that he had to go. The session ended shortly after. I drew the beach i was sat on, and the things that were around me. Oddly enough i have alot of trouble drawing him.

    Adulthood
    Other things came to me over time. The next thing i began to see was looking out of a window, down onto a rainy street, filled with sadness. In time i learned that this was when i left to go to war, and that this was after i had returned once already. The home was a family home. I had visions of a 'jungle' camp, feelings of choking heat, more images of violence. A place name came to me, and when i looked on the internet, i felt sick. The place name is An Khe. I found a photo of the same beach i had drawn, a place called camh ranh bay. I had never heard of either.


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  2. seraphim26

    seraphim26 New Member

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    The end/death was shockingly clear; i can remember feeling my feet thumping the hard ground as i ran, the 'cracking' of gunfire; the heaviness of my breath, seeing a soldier infront of me, what he was wearing - even the sweat and dust on his back; then time stopped, there was no sound; a hard 'thud' and dirt and dust was thrown up into the air immediately on my right, the ground rushed up to meet me, then nothing. I have no 'memories' beyond that point.


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  3. seraphim26

    seraphim26 New Member

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    I had a strange dream the other night; after i had gotten very frustrated with my past life 'memories'. I had pretty much decided to give up on finding out more, as meditation for me at the moment seems to be rather difficult. That night I saw the end/ death with more clarity than before, starkly so; and im not quite sure what to make of it.


    The image is roughly the same - running, chaos, falling, black. I am running in what appears to be a line, at quite a pace. There is a man in front of me, slightly to the left about 5 metres ahead. There are two more to my right, and one that im aware of to my left; these are a little behind me. The ground thuds under my feet as i run, the air is so hot and humid, i can almost feel the hot air as i gasp for air. The sun is high in the sky. I can hear the crackzip of bullets, and the crackcrackrack of nearby gunfire, Its very loud, people are shouting and yelling at each other but i cant quite hear them. My heart is pounding and i can hear myself gulping for air as i run. I watch the back of the man ahead of me - he is wearing green, a green helmet and there is something light jammed into its band on the right side. He has a set of 'webbing' on i can see the green yoke over his shoulders, two straps running down his back and the pouches bobbing up and down as he runs. The sun is hitting his shoulders, showing the red dirt and sweat on his back turning it almost black. I think his sleeves are rolled up and he is clutching a rifle as he runs. Suddenly there is no sound; it feels like someone has picked the ground up under me and slammed it back down again, dirt, dust and smoke blow up into the air immediately to my right, the ground rushes up to meet me and then; black.


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  4. seraphim26

    seraphim26 New Member

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    Ive finally been able to upload some of the images i have. I'll give a brief explanation of each and will explain more about them later. Thanks for now, S.List of images:Fig 1 - the beach as i remember it from my one time regression.Fig1a - the recently discovered photo of Cam Ranh Bay, a strikingly similar place to me.Fig2 - view from window down onto rainy street.Fig2a - (approx) layout of home, though im not sure of this, im taking this from the view from the bedroom door.Fig3 - 1st Air Cavalry badge - there is a strong association to this division, and later a place called An Khe. I later found out that they were stationed here during the war, quite to my shock.This post and discussion is continued in the thread What to do

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  5. seraphim26

    seraphim26 New Member

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    Another couple of images. Fig 4 is a drawing of the jungle camp I was looking out over. I have a colour drawing of this too. Fig 6 is the badge of the 5th Cavalry; I have a strong attachment to these, again I found out they were stationed at An Khe, and even more, were a part of the 1st Air Cav. The information regards An Khe came to me quite out of the blue, around a year ago, and i sat down to try and see if it was a real place. To my shock i learned that it was indeed very much real. This post and discussion is continued in the thread What to do

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  6. seraphim26

    seraphim26 New Member

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    one more image to add. The first is one of the original sketches of the jungle camp, this one is in colour; the main thing i couldnt get out of my head was the red earth (?) The view between the trees led to more hills in the distance and this was the direction that helicopters approached from. I think this may have been atop a hill or on the slope of a hill/ridge as i think i was looking down over the area. The jungle was dense around the camp, sloping away from the perimeter. There were small trenches around the edge facing out, and green 'tents' dotted about. From where i was looking there was a big sandbagged position with i think what was a machinegun in it. The sky was blue with some clouds and the sun was high. It was very hot, with little or no breeze. This post and discussion is continued in the thread What to do?

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  7. seraphim26

    seraphim26 New Member

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    I managed to meditate for awhile and found myself speaking to my friend and guide. I saw his face once more and was surprised at how young he looked. In the short time he was in my mind he said that he knew i wanted to learn more but it cant come all at once, it would be too hard on me, and that i should stop punishing myself. He did give me a couple more things to work out; i think though this is just the way they came across to me. He said 1965 was important to me, (though things 'ended' in 1968) and that 'my name is on the wall' (?) He said i was right and that i should trust myself more, and more would come. This is very hard for me to process; alot of information or messages?


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  8. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    If your name is on the wall ... there is the memorial The wall.... http://thewall-usa.com/


    There are 58,195 names listed in tribute to those who died in the Vietnam war ....


    soulfreindly


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  9. seraphim26

    seraphim26 New Member

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    Thats a shock; you know, as silly as it sounds i never even considered the memorial - i thought it was a metaphore or some other cryptic clue. That makes it all very real to me, a physical and emotional thing that is not just a memory, but literally set in stone; reflected back. In all of my wonderings i've never even thought of the fact that those memories could lead to such an answer, rather it was something consigned to history in books or programs, and the memories of those who lived through it all. The answers i was looking for were resolutions to the questions i had in my mind about the possibility that this had occured, but to get such a stark response, to know that there is a name that once belonged to you, that makes it more than just a memory, but much more personal. I dont quite know how i feel about it yet; previously it was just something in my mind, now, its so much more.


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