Dear all,
I just remembered a scene when I was about 1-1.5 years old. It was about 8-10am and I was still asleep. Yes, it is confirmed that I slept amazingly long for a toddler. So, my dad was at work and my older brother in kindergarten or elementary school. We had been living then in a high storey appartment building on the 7th floor. Our place was about 60 feet above the ground. Now, in my sleep I had a very vivid dream. I feel out of the window and rushed downwards on my back, steadily accelerating, hearing the whoosh of the air and seeing the scenery rushing by. And I remember this sinking feeling in the stomach area. About 3 feet away from the ground I stopped and I bounced up a bit 2-3 times while hearing the sound of metal springs. Just as if you were jumping on an old bed with those box springs. After that I woke up, felt scared and got up to look for my Mom. I found her on her bed crying, being totally desperate and I felt she wanted to be dead. Totally shocked I went back to my room, sat on the floor and was totally paralysed. It is confirmed that my mother was suffering from severe depression for the first 2-3 years of my life, most likely suicidal. Much later she had confirmed to me that I she hadn't had two small children she probably would have killed herself.
But what I am thinking about right now is this: How as baby/toddler could I have known how it feels, looks and sounds for fall down 60 feet? Later in my life I have jumped off high diving boards and even once did bungee jumping, so if I had this dream today I would think nothing about this detail. But at 1.5 years I most definetely hadn't jumped down anywhere, how could I have known this sinking feeling? Had I maybe dipped in to a past life where I had committed suicide by jumping down from a bridge or building, leaving behind a child crying for me who was now my mother? Is that a possibility?
Thanks a lot
Frank
I just remembered a scene when I was about 1-1.5 years old. It was about 8-10am and I was still asleep. Yes, it is confirmed that I slept amazingly long for a toddler. So, my dad was at work and my older brother in kindergarten or elementary school. We had been living then in a high storey appartment building on the 7th floor. Our place was about 60 feet above the ground. Now, in my sleep I had a very vivid dream. I feel out of the window and rushed downwards on my back, steadily accelerating, hearing the whoosh of the air and seeing the scenery rushing by. And I remember this sinking feeling in the stomach area. About 3 feet away from the ground I stopped and I bounced up a bit 2-3 times while hearing the sound of metal springs. Just as if you were jumping on an old bed with those box springs. After that I woke up, felt scared and got up to look for my Mom. I found her on her bed crying, being totally desperate and I felt she wanted to be dead. Totally shocked I went back to my room, sat on the floor and was totally paralysed. It is confirmed that my mother was suffering from severe depression for the first 2-3 years of my life, most likely suicidal. Much later she had confirmed to me that I she hadn't had two small children she probably would have killed herself.
But what I am thinking about right now is this: How as baby/toddler could I have known how it feels, looks and sounds for fall down 60 feet? Later in my life I have jumped off high diving boards and even once did bungee jumping, so if I had this dream today I would think nothing about this detail. But at 1.5 years I most definetely hadn't jumped down anywhere, how could I have known this sinking feeling? Had I maybe dipped in to a past life where I had committed suicide by jumping down from a bridge or building, leaving behind a child crying for me who was now my mother? Is that a possibility?
Thanks a lot
Frank