Ileana
Member
I know I have not written much on this forum. I been having a turned around last year. I rekindled with a past life brother from my life as Ileana and it had a big in packed on my last year, because it has made me heal more over that life. But also it has been a wish ever since I started to fully remember that past life back to find my family and speak with them. That life has not been without pain fully to remember and many times I cried myself to sleep or just been happy over some of the more happy memories coming forth.
But this last year has been a tugging of another life, a life that first made it's hit back in 2014 during a camp week. But had been tugging many times back and forth when I really put every puzzle piece together. Ever since I was little I have hated my first given name. I always liked my middle names better, felt them more fitted to me. But my first given name has always brought a dislike for me. With times I grown to accept it.
Also I been since I can remember having a fondness for trying to write, which has many times been a true struggle, because of a congenital inner handicap that I in away considering dyselxia is to me. Even if I learned from a early age to handle it and I shall admit my love for history and fondness to want to learn more has saved me many times in the struggles that it can be. But still it is a handicap when it comes to write things or to find way to put words to my thoughts and feelings. But I love writing and has done it many times. But also looking back on my writings means to step into a soul trying to open up a bit to a past life, even thought this took much puzzling and special person to open up that door. I have had a tendency to want to write love stories, mostly those of a hopeless romances that ends up being to painful to keep writing on.
But also another a love for me has been arts, however I do not considering myself a good artist in a ways. Just find it a most enjoyable hobby and also enough to practise it at times, especially as I have a degree in art as an art teacher for 1-6th grade as well as I studied much in my last year in school before starting my university studies.
Well what has lead this one that I wrote this then? Well for really understanding my background to the believe in this life one has to understand with my background and the paths I taken with my studies over the years, especially the years from 2007-2015 when I started mostly to practise my artistic side. I am fully well aware that these can come from my artistic side of my now family. I have third great-grandmother who wrote articles and books and such, as well as her cousin a well know artist of his time especially in his homeland Finland.
But I believe this goes further down and I seen patters occurring many times that binds just not my life today together with things, but also my past life together with my present life.
This memories of what I will write down here started back in 2014, during a conversation with my boyfriend, he and I have known each other for many life times and much have happened around us both good and less happy times. We started discussing somethings and such. Being on the camp I had very little time to pay much attention to it, because of lack of network and time to be online during a camp week made me push it. But when I got home we had more discussions on the subject of a life time in Rome in 17th century. I always been drawn to the era around the 1620s and such, mostly been a special year such as 1628, it just a year that marked much, I been having thoughts on a special occasion happening in the 1628 in Stockholm with the sinking of the Royal ship Vasa. But that thought I think linger from another occasion, even if Vasa will always be one of my favourite ships to read about. Always been since I was little. But the occasion that occurred around the 1620s and especially around 1628 I feel more occurred with what I now learned about it has been centred to Rome. Because I shall admit I have had a fondness for the city Rome. I always wanted to visited it and especially the area around the Fontana di Trevi, I even have a painting my grandparents got in the 1960s during their Europe trip that I got some years ago.
But to return to my believe, the thing that made me fully start to remember a life time back in those years was the discussions I had with my bf and we end up in a heated argument over things and small pieces started to fragment up, it brought back heated argument that we used to have back in those days. But it also brought back fragments of our separating from each other after a passionate love-affair for a couple of years. In which he thought I had been cheating on him with his own brother. I was already then cheating on my husband who I had been married to for years. I can not deny I loved my husband, but sadly my love lay elsewhere too. For the crime I committed I was badly wounded in my face. What was referred to as “sfregio” and later put in one of the Casa Pia in Rome. Today I think I know which one of them I was in for a couple of months. After that I was sent back to my husband after I had sent a letter pleading my case after almost dying because of the illness that was caused of infection to the wounds and starving.
I been having memories of that day when I was given the scars in my face because of a jealous lover. I also remember well the passionate nights leading up to that day. With time I also remember conversations and even told my bf at times of conversations I happened to listen into especially one that he had with one of his dear friends about ending our romance because it was to damaging for him. But also with time that morning when I sealed my fate has become clear to me and what happened and the mistakes I made up to that day.
After my return to my husband I was changed, I devouted my life more to my husband that I was married to in that life, we lived happily and such until his death. In that life I only had one daughter, however I am not sure if it was my husbands daughter, since her father is unknown. Even thought I know that I had at least one or two miscarriages, I know I had one due to loosing much blood when I was wounded and believe I might have had one some year after I was married. It made me more unhappy in my marriage I know, because I felt horrible for not providing my husband with a child.
Not long after we first started discussing this past life, me and my bf went our own ways. We remained friends, but it left me thinking much of what occurred in that life. It also made me heal much, because I experienced much of past life healing and such. But last year we decided to open up the door that had been shut between us both for a period and a couple of months I was over to see him and we decided to start over again. It stir up memories of our happy times from back then and to be amusing I jokingly find it funny that he at times has not changed, as of his temperament is much more nicer then it was back then. But also we have learn much through our own paths, but also it has connected us together more, the fact that even past life sadness and the things that has popped up that just made thorns on our path has not separated us. As it did not do it back then for even if I avoided him for a time back then we made peace and we saw each other again after I got back and up to my death. I died before him and then my husband worked with him even some years after I got home and when my husband died I kept up his work as an artist in the sculptor business to my death. My name back then was Costanza and was married a sculptor named Matteo.
Sorry for the long post I guess it became longer then I expected it to be, but just felt to write it off and it. But I am also curious to find my family back then or anyone that I knew from that life time
But this last year has been a tugging of another life, a life that first made it's hit back in 2014 during a camp week. But had been tugging many times back and forth when I really put every puzzle piece together. Ever since I was little I have hated my first given name. I always liked my middle names better, felt them more fitted to me. But my first given name has always brought a dislike for me. With times I grown to accept it.
Also I been since I can remember having a fondness for trying to write, which has many times been a true struggle, because of a congenital inner handicap that I in away considering dyselxia is to me. Even if I learned from a early age to handle it and I shall admit my love for history and fondness to want to learn more has saved me many times in the struggles that it can be. But still it is a handicap when it comes to write things or to find way to put words to my thoughts and feelings. But I love writing and has done it many times. But also looking back on my writings means to step into a soul trying to open up a bit to a past life, even thought this took much puzzling and special person to open up that door. I have had a tendency to want to write love stories, mostly those of a hopeless romances that ends up being to painful to keep writing on.
But also another a love for me has been arts, however I do not considering myself a good artist in a ways. Just find it a most enjoyable hobby and also enough to practise it at times, especially as I have a degree in art as an art teacher for 1-6th grade as well as I studied much in my last year in school before starting my university studies.
Well what has lead this one that I wrote this then? Well for really understanding my background to the believe in this life one has to understand with my background and the paths I taken with my studies over the years, especially the years from 2007-2015 when I started mostly to practise my artistic side. I am fully well aware that these can come from my artistic side of my now family. I have third great-grandmother who wrote articles and books and such, as well as her cousin a well know artist of his time especially in his homeland Finland.
But I believe this goes further down and I seen patters occurring many times that binds just not my life today together with things, but also my past life together with my present life.
This memories of what I will write down here started back in 2014, during a conversation with my boyfriend, he and I have known each other for many life times and much have happened around us both good and less happy times. We started discussing somethings and such. Being on the camp I had very little time to pay much attention to it, because of lack of network and time to be online during a camp week made me push it. But when I got home we had more discussions on the subject of a life time in Rome in 17th century. I always been drawn to the era around the 1620s and such, mostly been a special year such as 1628, it just a year that marked much, I been having thoughts on a special occasion happening in the 1628 in Stockholm with the sinking of the Royal ship Vasa. But that thought I think linger from another occasion, even if Vasa will always be one of my favourite ships to read about. Always been since I was little. But the occasion that occurred around the 1620s and especially around 1628 I feel more occurred with what I now learned about it has been centred to Rome. Because I shall admit I have had a fondness for the city Rome. I always wanted to visited it and especially the area around the Fontana di Trevi, I even have a painting my grandparents got in the 1960s during their Europe trip that I got some years ago.
But to return to my believe, the thing that made me fully start to remember a life time back in those years was the discussions I had with my bf and we end up in a heated argument over things and small pieces started to fragment up, it brought back heated argument that we used to have back in those days. But it also brought back fragments of our separating from each other after a passionate love-affair for a couple of years. In which he thought I had been cheating on him with his own brother. I was already then cheating on my husband who I had been married to for years. I can not deny I loved my husband, but sadly my love lay elsewhere too. For the crime I committed I was badly wounded in my face. What was referred to as “sfregio” and later put in one of the Casa Pia in Rome. Today I think I know which one of them I was in for a couple of months. After that I was sent back to my husband after I had sent a letter pleading my case after almost dying because of the illness that was caused of infection to the wounds and starving.
I been having memories of that day when I was given the scars in my face because of a jealous lover. I also remember well the passionate nights leading up to that day. With time I also remember conversations and even told my bf at times of conversations I happened to listen into especially one that he had with one of his dear friends about ending our romance because it was to damaging for him. But also with time that morning when I sealed my fate has become clear to me and what happened and the mistakes I made up to that day.
After my return to my husband I was changed, I devouted my life more to my husband that I was married to in that life, we lived happily and such until his death. In that life I only had one daughter, however I am not sure if it was my husbands daughter, since her father is unknown. Even thought I know that I had at least one or two miscarriages, I know I had one due to loosing much blood when I was wounded and believe I might have had one some year after I was married. It made me more unhappy in my marriage I know, because I felt horrible for not providing my husband with a child.
Not long after we first started discussing this past life, me and my bf went our own ways. We remained friends, but it left me thinking much of what occurred in that life. It also made me heal much, because I experienced much of past life healing and such. But last year we decided to open up the door that had been shut between us both for a period and a couple of months I was over to see him and we decided to start over again. It stir up memories of our happy times from back then and to be amusing I jokingly find it funny that he at times has not changed, as of his temperament is much more nicer then it was back then. But also we have learn much through our own paths, but also it has connected us together more, the fact that even past life sadness and the things that has popped up that just made thorns on our path has not separated us. As it did not do it back then for even if I avoided him for a time back then we made peace and we saw each other again after I got back and up to my death. I died before him and then my husband worked with him even some years after I got home and when my husband died I kept up his work as an artist in the sculptor business to my death. My name back then was Costanza and was married a sculptor named Matteo.
Sorry for the long post I guess it became longer then I expected it to be, but just felt to write it off and it. But I am also curious to find my family back then or anyone that I knew from that life time
