CrabbNebulous
New Member
Hello.
I’m new and feel like I’m on a very shaky limb here, but...
Does anyone else have a past life memory or the sense of having known one’s own parent before?
My father was a Vietnam veteran, a Marine. He nearly died, several times. (Duh, right?) As a child, I asked him about one bullet scar in particular, one just above his heart. (None of the others. Just *that* one.). As he told me about it (heavily censored), a picture formed in my mind: the image of a non-Caucasian man in a tree, face smeared with dirt or mud or paint. I can still see it vividly, smell the rot and dank and trees. My father said he fired back at the man who shot him—but I *know* I killed the man in the tree. I know he was a sniper. I know he shot my dad. I know he was VC and I know I fired back, pure reflex.
I have never held a gun. But I know I shot the man in the tree because I was the one who saw him.
I have never met any of my dad’s squad mates. Never been to the Wall. (I can’t, for some reason.). I am not obsessed with Vietnam, but it has followed me all of my life, not in the least through my Agent Orange exposure.
I can’t describe how I feel when I see/hear the motto, the insignia, the sheer *presence* of the USMC division my father belonged to. I have other family who fought other wars, nothing resonates like this.
I’ve done the math and...is it possible I had a life fighting beside my father? That I was a squaddie who died next to him? The math says it’s possible. There was ample time between his discharge and my birth. My personal relationship with Dad was...strained. But his identity as a Marine eclipses everything else.
I’m not looking for borrowed glamor or valor. I just want to know, is it possible that I died defending my father? That I absorbed ‘no man left behind’ to the point that I came back as his child?
Has anyone else felt this, or should I get a shrink?
I’m new and feel like I’m on a very shaky limb here, but...
Does anyone else have a past life memory or the sense of having known one’s own parent before?
My father was a Vietnam veteran, a Marine. He nearly died, several times. (Duh, right?) As a child, I asked him about one bullet scar in particular, one just above his heart. (None of the others. Just *that* one.). As he told me about it (heavily censored), a picture formed in my mind: the image of a non-Caucasian man in a tree, face smeared with dirt or mud or paint. I can still see it vividly, smell the rot and dank and trees. My father said he fired back at the man who shot him—but I *know* I killed the man in the tree. I know he was a sniper. I know he shot my dad. I know he was VC and I know I fired back, pure reflex.
I have never held a gun. But I know I shot the man in the tree because I was the one who saw him.
I have never met any of my dad’s squad mates. Never been to the Wall. (I can’t, for some reason.). I am not obsessed with Vietnam, but it has followed me all of my life, not in the least through my Agent Orange exposure.
I can’t describe how I feel when I see/hear the motto, the insignia, the sheer *presence* of the USMC division my father belonged to. I have other family who fought other wars, nothing resonates like this.
I’ve done the math and...is it possible I had a life fighting beside my father? That I was a squaddie who died next to him? The math says it’s possible. There was ample time between his discharge and my birth. My personal relationship with Dad was...strained. But his identity as a Marine eclipses everything else.
I’m not looking for borrowed glamor or valor. I just want to know, is it possible that I died defending my father? That I absorbed ‘no man left behind’ to the point that I came back as his child?
Has anyone else felt this, or should I get a shrink?