star_explorer
Member
When I was young I used to believe my mother wasn't my real mother. Looking back on that, wouldn't that make sense if I had a past life? I don't know what to think of it and I don't want to name the person who I think I could be... But I will tell you a little about myself.
I am 21 years old, I have red hair and I am quite tiny in size. I am left handed, and am also an artist. I have won two awards, both in my last grade of high school. I was named artist of 2008 and my name and piece of art hangs in our town's school board building in the hall of fame. I am bisexual, I even knew when I was a child that I liked girls and always told my mother that when I wore jeans I was a boy, but when I wore dresses I was a girl. I also believed that my mother wasn't really my mother. Why, I don't know. I do not believe in God only because I have never gotten any help from Him. I used to pray for my mother to be nicer, never anything bad, but still nothing happened. I was angry with God and that is why I casted the idea of a "bigger thing" to the side. I also, since I was young, have been fighting a constant battle of feelings and emotion and have learned that I have depression and anxiety.
Just recently I started thinking about my life, and always felt like I was repeating something. I have wicked deja vu's and it can last up to 5 minutes. My mother had finally told me about my birth, and I actually cried.
Apparently my father has some kind of family curse... I wouldn't say I believe it but that was the way my mother described it. She told me that my great grandfather married a woman and when it was time to give birth to their first child, the mother and the child died. He remarried and when the woman gave birth to their child they lived. That was when my grandfather was born. The same thing happened to my grandfather. My father is his first to be born and lived to tell the tale. Next was my father, and already knowing of what might become of my mother and the child he told her. My mother is a very strong woman, so they tried. My mother was in labour for 27 hours. She and I almost died that day. When she told me this story I became emotional. I didn't know what to say, think or do. Then she told me that I was the one to break the family curse. I was not supposed to be born.
This is somewhat creepy to hear after being greeted by dead relatives. Oh yeah, and the babies who died? They were all girls and I am the only first born girl in three generations... One of the baby's who died, Mary, came to me in my dreams countless times until the day we got the papers of all the family members. Her name was there. My mother's friend is a wicken and she believes in the paranormal. She has told my mom countless times that I am an open person. A person who somehow brings in the spirits. I also believe this.
Now, the other night I was laying in bed, still awake, thinking of why I would be the only surviving female child. Then it hit me, what if I did something wrong in my past life... and what if God made me go back, with no memory, and redo my mistakes until I finally made the right choices on my own? Doesn't that make sense? I could actually a thousand years old just not have any memories of all my past lives.
So, how can I know if I am really he*? Would my spirit finally be accepted into Heaven if I do not do the things I did in my last life? Am I finally cracking the code of my memories? And if I go back to his last known location, will something happen?
So many questions, so little time...
* the man I was in my last life.
I am 21 years old, I have red hair and I am quite tiny in size. I am left handed, and am also an artist. I have won two awards, both in my last grade of high school. I was named artist of 2008 and my name and piece of art hangs in our town's school board building in the hall of fame. I am bisexual, I even knew when I was a child that I liked girls and always told my mother that when I wore jeans I was a boy, but when I wore dresses I was a girl. I also believed that my mother wasn't really my mother. Why, I don't know. I do not believe in God only because I have never gotten any help from Him. I used to pray for my mother to be nicer, never anything bad, but still nothing happened. I was angry with God and that is why I casted the idea of a "bigger thing" to the side. I also, since I was young, have been fighting a constant battle of feelings and emotion and have learned that I have depression and anxiety.
Just recently I started thinking about my life, and always felt like I was repeating something. I have wicked deja vu's and it can last up to 5 minutes. My mother had finally told me about my birth, and I actually cried.
Apparently my father has some kind of family curse... I wouldn't say I believe it but that was the way my mother described it. She told me that my great grandfather married a woman and when it was time to give birth to their first child, the mother and the child died. He remarried and when the woman gave birth to their child they lived. That was when my grandfather was born. The same thing happened to my grandfather. My father is his first to be born and lived to tell the tale. Next was my father, and already knowing of what might become of my mother and the child he told her. My mother is a very strong woman, so they tried. My mother was in labour for 27 hours. She and I almost died that day. When she told me this story I became emotional. I didn't know what to say, think or do. Then she told me that I was the one to break the family curse. I was not supposed to be born.
This is somewhat creepy to hear after being greeted by dead relatives. Oh yeah, and the babies who died? They were all girls and I am the only first born girl in three generations... One of the baby's who died, Mary, came to me in my dreams countless times until the day we got the papers of all the family members. Her name was there. My mother's friend is a wicken and she believes in the paranormal. She has told my mom countless times that I am an open person. A person who somehow brings in the spirits. I also believe this.
Now, the other night I was laying in bed, still awake, thinking of why I would be the only surviving female child. Then it hit me, what if I did something wrong in my past life... and what if God made me go back, with no memory, and redo my mistakes until I finally made the right choices on my own? Doesn't that make sense? I could actually a thousand years old just not have any memories of all my past lives.
So, how can I know if I am really he*? Would my spirit finally be accepted into Heaven if I do not do the things I did in my last life? Am I finally cracking the code of my memories? And if I go back to his last known location, will something happen?
So many questions, so little time...
* the man I was in my last life.
Be careful not to identify with a famous person so much. It is better to embrace the feelings, the emotions and the thoughts you experience in order to move past them. Thinking about who you MIGHT have been is not the reason to do a regression. The depression, anxiety and other emotions are.