How do Step-Children fall into play?

[MelGrahm]

I saw the post on Adoption and it made me wonder about Stepchildren and how they fall into the rolls in a family. If you choose your parents, do you also choose your stepparents?

My Stepson is 4.5 and my daughter is 6. I met my SS when I met my husband. My daughter was also with us. We met at a McDonalds, and from the moment I saw my SS, there was a spark of recognition. He was only just turned 2 at the time, but I could tell that he "knew" us. His Dad and I felt the same way about each other, and my husband is very close with my daughter as well. The night we met, another couple began talking to us and refused to believe that we had just met. There was definitely a connection there for all of us.
My SS has problems with his mother. It's like she should be the step-mom and I should be the mom. There is very little bond between them. Before he came to live with us, he would scream and cry when we would drop him off (he did not want to leave us / go with her). From what my husband says, even as a baby he wanted his father over his mother. As he is a little older now, he knows he has to see his mom, but does not like to leave and rarely mentions her when home.
I know there is a reason why you choose your parents, or adoptive parents, but if a child has a mother and father that play an active role in the child's life, how do the stepparents fit in? Just wondering if anyone had any thoughts?

(I did look in the archive and didn't see anything on this).

Mel!

 

[faerieluv]

I definitely think stepparents can have a role from a past life. I am very close with my stepmom (she has been in my life since I was 5). I couldn't imagine her not being a part of my life. I would not be surprised at all if we had shared a past life. Actually I would be more surprised if we haven't. : )

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~^Faerieluv^~

 

[zetascair20086]

I believe anyone who is a significant part of your life now probably was in other lives as well 99% of the time.I know someone who remembers being biological brothers with his current life step brother.

 

[eva01]

good question. my dad is has been dating this woman for several months now and things are getting kind of serious lately hes been asking what me and my brother would think of having her for a stepmom. i dont know for sure my brothers opinion but me and my dads girlfriend get along really well and have a lot in common.

 

[JTW]

well, there is my opinion that my stepson has hated me from the moment he saw me...I didn`t feel much either way but I could feel his vibes!
I never thought about this as being from a past life experience...maybe this idea would help him with his issues! He has very sexual memories, things that didn`t happen in this lifetime,that he shouldn`t have known at age 4, that he has accused family members of in this life!
Hmmmm, you got me thinking!!

 

[angel1]

i'm glad you brought this topic up. i have 2 stepchildren and 1 bio son.. my stepchildren which i like to consider mine have live with my husband and i for the past 7 years they don't have nothing to do with there real mom and she wants nothing to do with them.. the only thing is i don't get along with my stepson he is 9.5 and we constantly fight and its been that way for 7 years his sister is 8 and we get along fine they both call me mom but i have a more mother child relation with her than i do him and at times i wish he would go live with his real mom, i feel bad and i love him but for some reason there is to much resentment from him to me and me to him....i honestly feel its due to past life but don't know what but since day on we have been at each other and causes fights with hubby and everything goes to crap.....