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Is my son the baby I aborted years earlier?

M

MotherOfBoys

New Member
Hello,
Hoping you can all help and shed some light on this for me. When I was 21 I had an abortion. My boyfriend at the time was a real idiot, he had begun to use drugs, the relationship was unhealthy and the pregnancy unplanned. I broke down on finding out and walked straight into a family planning centre - within 1 hour of getting a positive pregnancy test, I had booked my abortion :( Please understand it was a terrible shock and a dark time. I had a medical termination a few weeks later (drugs not surgery) and the night I took the first drug to end the pregnancy was spent in tears, rubbing my belly and begging this baby to come back to me when I was in a better place and time. Prior to this I never wanted children, I was far too selfish. I wonder if this baby had to come when he did, knowing he wouldn't live, just to teach me some love and compassion?? I knew what I looked like - he was a boy, I knew what his features were like and I knew he had a beautiful, specific hairstyle and colour. I just knew without ever seeing him. Very predictably my awful relationship collapsed and 6 months later I met my now husband. Eight years later I fell pregnant with our first son. While he was in the womb I would tell my husband it was the same baby because I just knew it was (my husband knows about my abortion). My husband doesn't believe in the afterlife and thinks it's crazy talk but I repeated the description of our son over and over and sure enough he was born looking exactly like I said. Our son's hairstyle is VERY specific and not common at all - he has a double crown for a start. My son has never mentioned anything at all about past lives but he is a very old and sensitive soul and extremely clingy with me. He talked in full sentences at 12 months old and wanted proper conversations with me from an early age. I am constantly wondering if I am putting 2 and 2 together and making 5 just to placate my guilt over my abortion. What do you think? Also the old soul thing could just be personality? When our second son was born, our neighbour came to see him and the first thing she said was "Whoa! You've been here before young man..." and I'm sure he has too. I am also frequently told that I am a very old soul and was once stopped by a stranger and told to join his group to discuss this... I am clutching at straws here? I know some people believe souls don't enter a baby that isn't going to be born.
 
Hello to you Mom and welcome to the forum! There is no way for my (and probably any of us) to verify whether or not the soul of your first two pregnancies were the same, however, I see no reason for it not being so. That's not much of an answer, but it is all that I can add in that respect. Either way it is pleasant to think that it is true. The feeling of "clutching at straws" is quite common I think, at least for some of us.

I was struck by your recognition of his appearance and characteristics, that would seem an important consideration - as I sit here smiling since I too had a double crown (and a cowlick:().
 
Hello Ken, thank you for your reply. It's true - I feel like I'm grasping at anything to take away the guilt but that's because reincarnation was never part of my belief system (saying that I had strong memories of dying in previous life from an early age myself). I know there's no way to tell, I suppose I can only hope but he is 6 now and still can't bear to be apart from me really. And his hair :D it's crazy at the back thanks to that double crown.
 
Hello MotherOfBoys,

a warm welcome to you.
Ken pretty much summed it up already. No one here will be able to confirm that your son is the reincarnation of the aborted child, but how you could predict his looks in detail is a strong sign.
Hope you will be able to forgive yourself and overcome your feelings of guilt. All of us have done not so nice things in one life or the other.
 
Thank you Seeker, a big part of it is forgiving myself. This is why I constantly feel like I'm telling myself what I want to hear.
 
Hi MotherofBoys,

We don't know how it all works. Still, things happen. I also had an abortion and I don't feel guilty about it. I became pregnant despite of all my precautions. I think it was the stress I was living in that caused to fail the birth control to work. I realised I was pregnant at 6 weeks. It was very impossible for me to be pregnant again (I already had two boys). I went into meditation and talked to the child, saying it was impossible. I went to the doctor and only a lot of weeks later I got an appointment in a clinic for the abortion. It appeared there that the fetus had already died (so technically it was not an abortion but a kind of funeral). It had died at the age of 6 weeks. I am absolutely sure it was because of my talk to the child. The soul had left me afterwards.
During the years some people reminded me that there was a little girl around me. One day she came through me, literally, and we could communicate. She was very, very angry. Not because of the abortion, that was not the issue. She was angry because of my rejection. That was not the same. She wanted me to understand what I had missed. Once again, I apologized and really tried to listen. At the end, I said: Well, if you really want to be with me again, you've got to find another mother and we will meet again.
And, I guess it has happened. I worked for a couple that had difficulties receiving a baby and suddenly the woman was pregnant. I really never, never thought about my story with 'my girl'.
After the baby was born, one day her mother looked at me straight in the eyes, saying: She KNOWS you. I can feel it. She cannot talk, but every time you come in she is thrilled with joy.
It was the first time the subject of reincarnation came up between us. We discovered all three of us had probably shared a life in Spain, centuries ago.
I do feel a strong connection with this girl, as my own child. Last month I made a picture of her an me and posted it on my Facebook page. People could swear it was my grandchild, even when they knew I didn't have a granddaughter. We look like each other, and we have the same eyes, the same colour. One person really wanted to talk with me about this girl because we even had the same energy. Only THEN I started contemplating deeper. Maybe that story in Spain happened, but she had also been 'my girl' in this life, twenty years ago. The girl of who the spirit had been with me for many years, until I told her to find another mother to be born, four years ago. She'll have her second birthday next week.

In my case the unborn child was not angry about abortion. I think she had just answered my call, because I had longed for a daughter so long. She came and was rejected. That hurt.
If she is really the same soul as my new little friend, than she has the best other mother she could get. They are also very related on a soul level and we are all friends. (And yes, her mother by now is still sure I've been her baby's mother before).
 
That's a lovely story firefly. I'm pretty sure my boy forgave me, I just have to forgive myself. I hope I get a yes or no answer one day but I know it won't be in this life...
 
Thank you. I'm sure I will. If one thing has come out of this that it is a positive affirmation of life after death for me. I was not raised in any religion and have always feared death as the end. At least now I am sure it is not.
 
I know this probably isn't helpful to you, but I personally don't believe babies have souls until they are born.
 
MD14 said:
I know this probably isn't helpful to you, but I personally don't believe babies have souls until they are born.
Click to expand...
So, what’s your own philosophy? Do you think that the soul dives in at birth? I’ve heard that before. I also heard that a baby’s soul goes in and out during pregnancy.
Prior to my own pregnanties in both cases I felt the présence of the children around me. I guess their souls were around me. I felt their presence outside my body, not from inside.
 
I don't know the answer, MD14. I had a strong connection with this boy (and I knew he was a boy) right from the off. To each their own beliefs...this experience has certainly tested mine...but exactly as firefly describes it above, I felt these souls before I birthed them.
 
MotherOfBoys,
Why don’t you try a deep meditation, trying to talk with his spirit? Perhaps it is the same spirit as your newborn.
That doesn’t matter, it still can work. Your bond is strong enough to make it work. Prepare some questions and open yourself up for a conversation.
I cannot say it what way the answers come back. Sometimes in real words, sometimes it’s an inner knowing, sometimes in feelings.
It might relieve you from a lot of pain if this soul loves you very much and is able to send you some message in which he understands your motives.
 
fireflydancing said:
MotherOfBoys,
Why don’t you try a deep meditation, trying to talk with his spirit? Perhaps it is the same spirit as your newborn.
That doesn’t matter, it still can work. Your bond is strong enough to make it work. Prepare some questions and open yourself up for a conversation.
I cannot say it what way the answers come back. Sometimes in real words, sometimes it’s an inner knowing, sometimes in feelings.
It might relieve you from a lot of pain if this soul loves you very much and is able to send you some message in which he understands your motives.
Click to expand...
Would that work though if his soul has now become my oldest son? The more I think about it, the more I am convinced of it. I know that baby forgave me.
 
How old is your son now?
The bond between mother and child is usually very strong like telepathy.
 
fireflydancing said:
Hi MotherofBoys,

We don't know how it all works. Still, things happen. I also had an abortion and I don't feel guilty about it. I became pregnant despite of all my precautions. I think it was the stress I was living in that caused to fail the birth control to work. I realised I was pregnant at 6 weeks. It was very impossible for me to be pregnant again (I already had two boys). I went into meditation and talked to the child, saying it was impossible. I went to the doctor and only a lot of weeks later I got an appointment in a clinic for the abortion. It appeared there that the fetus had already died (so technically it was not an abortion but a kind of funeral). It had died at the age of 6 weeks. I am absolutely sure it was because of my talk to the child. The soul had left me afterwards.
During the years some people reminded me that there was a little girl around me. One day she came through me, literally, and we could communicate. She was very, very angry. Not because of the abortion, that was not the issue. She was angry because of my rejection. That was not the same. She wanted me to understand what I had missed. Once again, I apologized and really tried to listen. At the end, I said: Well, if you really want to be with me again, you've got to find another mother and we will meet again.
And, I guess it has happened. I worked for a couple that had difficulties receiving a baby and suddenly the woman was pregnant. I really never, never thought about my story with 'my girl'.
After the baby was born, one day her mother looked at me straight in the eyes, saying: She KNOWS you. I can feel it. She cannot talk, but every time you come in she is thrilled with joy.
It was the first time the subject of reincarnation came up between us. We discovered all three of us had probably shared a life in Spain, centuries ago.
I do feel a strong connection with this girl, as my own child. Last month I made a picture of her an me and posted it on my Facebook page. People could swear it was my grandchild, even when they knew I didn't have a granddaughter. We look like each other, and we have the same eyes, the same colour. One person really wanted to talk with me about this girl because we even had the same energy. Only THEN I started contemplating deeper. Maybe that story in Spain happened, but she had also been 'my girl' in this life, twenty years ago. The girl of who the spirit had been with me for many years, until I told her to find another mother to be born, four years ago. She'll have her second birthday next week.

In my case the unborn child was not angry about abortion. I think she had just answered my call, because I had longed for a daughter so long. She came and was rejected. That hurt.
If she is really the same soul as my new little friend, than she has the best other mother she could get. They are also very related on a soul level and we are all friends. (And yes, her mother by now is still sure I've been her baby's mother before).
Click to expand...
 
beautiful story firefly...i know my brother's son was my son in a previous life. Dreamt about him before he was born..looks completely like me and nothing like his mom or dad.. Has all my qualities....life is funny
 
MotherOfBoys said:
Hello,
Hoping you can all help and shed some light on this for me. When I was 21 I had an abortion. My boyfriend at the time was a real idiot, he had begun to use drugs, the relationship was unhealthy and the pregnancy unplanned. I broke down on finding out and walked straight into a family planning centre - within 1 hour of getting a positive pregnancy test, I had booked my abortion :( Please understand it was a terrible shock and a dark time. I had a medical termination a few weeks later (drugs not surgery) and the night I took the first drug to end the pregnancy was spent in tears, rubbing my belly and begging this baby to come back to me when I was in a better place and time. Prior to this I never wanted children, I was far too selfish. I wonder if this baby had to come when he did, knowing he wouldn't live, just to teach me some love and compassion?? I knew what I looked like - he was a boy, I knew what his features were like and I knew he had a beautiful, specific hairstyle and colour. I just knew without ever seeing him. Very predictably my awful relationship collapsed and 6 months later I met my now husband. Eight years later I fell pregnant with our first son. While he was in the womb I would tell my husband it was the same baby because I just knew it was (my husband knows about my abortion). My husband doesn't believe in the afterlife and thinks it's crazy talk but I repeated the description of our son over and over and sure enough he was born looking exactly like I said. Our son's hairstyle is VERY specific and not common at all - he has a double crown for a start. My son has never mentioned anything at all about past lives but he is a very old and sensitive soul and extremely clingy with me. He talked in full sentences at 12 months old and wanted proper conversations with me from an early age. I am constantly wondering if I am putting 2 and 2 together and making 5 just to placate my guilt over my abortion. What do you think? Also the old soul thing could just be personality? When our second son was born, our neighbour came to see him and the first thing she said was "Whoa! You've been here before young man..." and I'm sure he has too. I am also frequently told that I am a very old soul and was once stopped by a stranger and told to join his group to discuss this... I am clutching at straws here? I know some people believe souls don't enter a baby that isn't going to be born.
Click to expand...

I have a very similar story and came across your post after searching on google for my own experience and hoping to find answers. Is there anyway to possibly inbox or pm on this site. Would like to know if since your post you've found any other information on the subject. :)
 
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