Christopher Rose
New Member
i have regressed to the following scene many times and dreamt it before learning of regression.
I found the best way to deal with it was to write about it
So here it is ....
Loss
Thracia
Dacius cradled Aszerj now limp body in his arms and lifted her up pushing her small frame above his head up on to the rump of his horse. Then unravelled a leather rein to tie her to the horse. All the while not really accepting she was gone to allow him to carry out this practical task. Toder came over “ not like that Dacius,tie it like this , she will hold from the back and sides “
“ I must continue the fight Dacius, you understand ?”
“ They are coming to us Toder, look to the hill, there are more and more of them, we must retreat and regroup “
“ we can go to the coast, take to the sea Toder”
“ I must finish this Dacius” “ You do what you have to do “
Dacius knew that they were saying goodbye to each other but Toder was stubborn and would continue towards the enemy.
Dacius knew there was nothing he could do to stop him and was not in a position to give him orders.
The Persians were closing in from all sides and soon they would be surrounded.
Toder rode towards the invaders but as he started his ascent of the hill it became clear his horse was now lame and unable to gallop.
Dacius was still trying to secure Aszerj to his horse and mount it without her body slipping to one side as Toder dismounted in the distance and stood face on to his horse , his hand on its face as if he was imploring it to give one more effort.
Then as the rain began to fall heavier and the skies darkened a single fork of lighting ripped through the sky and cracked with thunder almost immediately
Toder was startled and the danger of his situation came upon him at once. As he started to turn and mouthed an obscure curse from his lips
The spears rained down upon him, and as the horse instinctively bucked and lower its head to protect itself from the barrage a solitary spear took Toder from behind. Cleanly breaking the skin on the back of his neck and instantly reappearing out of his throat.
As all the other spears landed harmlessly as spent javelins sliding across the grass Toder dropped to his knees releasing his grip on the rein of his horse and falling to one side as the horse attempted to walk on but raised its front left foot unable to continue.
Dacius still in shock, remorse and now bewilderment finally secured Aszerj body to his horse and rode away towards the coast. Eloping with his girl to spend some final time with her. He felt her presence, her soul and the shape of her tiny frame clasped to his back as he rode on and on into the night.
The rain now cascading onto his face and the wind wiping across him.
After a few hours in the pitch dark of the starless night Dacius pulled his horse up as the terrain dipped off and became more rocky. He could smell the sea beneath him so he secured the horse tying the rein around a boulder and lifted Aszerj soaked body down.
As he edged down the rocks exhausted he could hear the sea louder and louder, crashing and wooshing as the rain battered him harder mixed with the salt of the angry sea.
As he gripped to one side with his right hand he felt an opening and as he thrust his arm in and around he felt the relief of a pause in the battering of the rain and edged himself and Aszerj into a cave opening. He lowered his head and lay Aszerj on the flat rock of the floor then slumped beside her completely spent. As the wind screamed outside and the rain continued to pelt down he curled beside her, rested his nose upon her cheek and began to weep for the first time in his adult life.
He then drifted into tortuous sleep for a short time.
He woke as the light was rising starting to glint into their lair.
His arm around Aszerj and his face close to hers, he could still inhale her scent.
“You will be safe here my love “ he pushed his hand into her tunic to retrieve the dolphin coin and put it into her hand clasping her fingers into a fist to clench the coin.
“ The dolphin will protect you forever”
He then brushed her hair down with his fingers like a comb and straightened her stiffening body the best he could and closed her eyes
“ I will always be with you and you with me Aszerj “
Then his voice breaking
“ I am sorry my love, I am so sorry “
“ I hope one day you will forgive me “
“Now sleep my love , sleep , be at peace”
He then crawled to the cave opening and gathered rocks to pile up and entomb her in the traditional way, all the while engaging her in conversation as if they were in their hut on the hill together.
When she was securely covered he pulled bigger , flatter stones up around her, finally sealing the entrance of the small opening with the largest stones he could move.
When the opening was completely secured he raised both hands above his head and pushed against the flat stone resting his forehead to the centre
“ I must go to our people to our boy”
“ I will come back to you”
“ I will never leave you my love “
The seasons would change
The years would pass
The land was eroded by the sea
The sea rose and engulfed the rocks, the land.
Aszerj tomb became the sea bed
But she never stopped calling to him
And he would always hear her in his dreams.
I found the best way to deal with it was to write about it
So here it is ....
Loss
Thracia
Dacius cradled Aszerj now limp body in his arms and lifted her up pushing her small frame above his head up on to the rump of his horse. Then unravelled a leather rein to tie her to the horse. All the while not really accepting she was gone to allow him to carry out this practical task. Toder came over “ not like that Dacius,tie it like this , she will hold from the back and sides “
“ I must continue the fight Dacius, you understand ?”
“ They are coming to us Toder, look to the hill, there are more and more of them, we must retreat and regroup “
“ we can go to the coast, take to the sea Toder”
“ I must finish this Dacius” “ You do what you have to do “
Dacius knew that they were saying goodbye to each other but Toder was stubborn and would continue towards the enemy.
Dacius knew there was nothing he could do to stop him and was not in a position to give him orders.
The Persians were closing in from all sides and soon they would be surrounded.
Toder rode towards the invaders but as he started his ascent of the hill it became clear his horse was now lame and unable to gallop.
Dacius was still trying to secure Aszerj to his horse and mount it without her body slipping to one side as Toder dismounted in the distance and stood face on to his horse , his hand on its face as if he was imploring it to give one more effort.
Then as the rain began to fall heavier and the skies darkened a single fork of lighting ripped through the sky and cracked with thunder almost immediately
Toder was startled and the danger of his situation came upon him at once. As he started to turn and mouthed an obscure curse from his lips
The spears rained down upon him, and as the horse instinctively bucked and lower its head to protect itself from the barrage a solitary spear took Toder from behind. Cleanly breaking the skin on the back of his neck and instantly reappearing out of his throat.
As all the other spears landed harmlessly as spent javelins sliding across the grass Toder dropped to his knees releasing his grip on the rein of his horse and falling to one side as the horse attempted to walk on but raised its front left foot unable to continue.
Dacius still in shock, remorse and now bewilderment finally secured Aszerj body to his horse and rode away towards the coast. Eloping with his girl to spend some final time with her. He felt her presence, her soul and the shape of her tiny frame clasped to his back as he rode on and on into the night.
The rain now cascading onto his face and the wind wiping across him.
After a few hours in the pitch dark of the starless night Dacius pulled his horse up as the terrain dipped off and became more rocky. He could smell the sea beneath him so he secured the horse tying the rein around a boulder and lifted Aszerj soaked body down.
As he edged down the rocks exhausted he could hear the sea louder and louder, crashing and wooshing as the rain battered him harder mixed with the salt of the angry sea.
As he gripped to one side with his right hand he felt an opening and as he thrust his arm in and around he felt the relief of a pause in the battering of the rain and edged himself and Aszerj into a cave opening. He lowered his head and lay Aszerj on the flat rock of the floor then slumped beside her completely spent. As the wind screamed outside and the rain continued to pelt down he curled beside her, rested his nose upon her cheek and began to weep for the first time in his adult life.
He then drifted into tortuous sleep for a short time.
He woke as the light was rising starting to glint into their lair.
His arm around Aszerj and his face close to hers, he could still inhale her scent.
“You will be safe here my love “ he pushed his hand into her tunic to retrieve the dolphin coin and put it into her hand clasping her fingers into a fist to clench the coin.
“ The dolphin will protect you forever”
He then brushed her hair down with his fingers like a comb and straightened her stiffening body the best he could and closed her eyes
“ I will always be with you and you with me Aszerj “
Then his voice breaking
“ I am sorry my love, I am so sorry “
“ I hope one day you will forgive me “
“Now sleep my love , sleep , be at peace”
He then crawled to the cave opening and gathered rocks to pile up and entomb her in the traditional way, all the while engaging her in conversation as if they were in their hut on the hill together.
When she was securely covered he pulled bigger , flatter stones up around her, finally sealing the entrance of the small opening with the largest stones he could move.
When the opening was completely secured he raised both hands above his head and pushed against the flat stone resting his forehead to the centre
“ I must go to our people to our boy”
“ I will come back to you”
“ I will never leave you my love “
The seasons would change
The years would pass
The land was eroded by the sea
The sea rose and engulfed the rocks, the land.
Aszerj tomb became the sea bed
But she never stopped calling to him
And he would always hear her in his dreams.
