I am looking for help with my 9 year old son who has always feared being alone at night. He has always needed me to sit with or read to or sleep with him so he can calm down and sleep. This seemed to be there form the start and we tried all the usual things and even the Ferber sleep training where he gadually would learn to sleep. It failed because he never did stop crying and go to sleep and I couldn't leave him to it anymore because it seemed so otherworldly or something old, not just a baby who can't or does not want to sleep but utter terror and grief. This was never a tantrum, just total fear and grief and sobbing for over an hour at the longest we could try itHe did not stop, we intervened. Now he gets stomach aches when dusk falls because the night is coming and the dark, Any similar stories? Any ideas?
macfeargus
- Thread starter jessie
- Start date
zetascair20086
New Member
Perhaps he starved to death in a dark dungeon in another life or was murdered in the dark(possibly by a stomach wound).
Jessie,
My daughter also had trouble sleeping from birth on! And she is still scared of the dark and being alone...
She started having AWFUL night terrors when she was about 2. She would start screaming in the middle of the night and NOTHING we would do would snap her out of it!
Now, my daughter(now 4) is a pretty amazing kid, and has spoken extensively about past lives...One in particular that I think contributes to her night terrors is the one where she died in a fire. ( If you want to learn more....I have posted a few threads about her)
Anyway, my solution? We have let her sleep with us since this all began. In fact, she still sleeps with us (either in our bed or on the floor). We also tried the Ferber method, to no avail...So, instead of making her cry herself to sleep, we just did whatever we could to comfort her. She no longer has those night terrors, but every once in a while she will still wake up crying.
At least she is with us and is quickly comforted!
Hope this helps you!
Tammy
------------------
Seeking Truth
Gaining Knowledge
My daughter also had trouble sleeping from birth on! And she is still scared of the dark and being alone...
She started having AWFUL night terrors when she was about 2. She would start screaming in the middle of the night and NOTHING we would do would snap her out of it!
Now, my daughter(now 4) is a pretty amazing kid, and has spoken extensively about past lives...One in particular that I think contributes to her night terrors is the one where she died in a fire. ( If you want to learn more....I have posted a few threads about her)
Anyway, my solution? We have let her sleep with us since this all began. In fact, she still sleeps with us (either in our bed or on the floor). We also tried the Ferber method, to no avail...So, instead of making her cry herself to sleep, we just did whatever we could to comfort her. She no longer has those night terrors, but every once in a while she will still wake up crying.
At least she is with us and is quickly comforted!
Hope this helps you!
Tammy
------------------
Seeking Truth
Gaining Knowledge
Midnight.Sapphires
Senior Registered
Ah...Argente!
That is one of the sweetest, most helpful advice I've ever heard anyone give to a mother.
Blessings my good friend!
Jereldeen
That is one of the sweetest, most helpful advice I've ever heard anyone give to a mother.
Blessings my good friend!
Jereldeen
G
gaea999
Guest
Allow your son to sleep with some type of light on during the night. Children in thier innocence have a tendency to seem appealing to negative energies when they are alone in a dark room. I have experienced this as a child and have known many adults to have had frightening experiences related to childhood and dark rooms. There is often more to it then just "childhood worries" which adults like to brush off, instead of listening to what the child is saying.
I have a night light for my children and saw how necessary it was once I began noticing things that happened when they were in a dark room at night. Continue to give your son a lot of love and reassurance this can help alot. What I know from experience doesn't help is a parent who doesn't listen and underestimates what thier child is expressing, or feeling. Children are more open to seeing, remembering, and feeling things from past lives and other dimensions that they can slowly be closed off to or forget as they grow older especially when we live in a society that says "that's abnormal"
Peace & Positive Energy G
[This message has been edited by gaea999 (edited 02-24-2002).]
I have a night light for my children and saw how necessary it was once I began noticing things that happened when they were in a dark room at night. Continue to give your son a lot of love and reassurance this can help alot. What I know from experience doesn't help is a parent who doesn't listen and underestimates what thier child is expressing, or feeling. Children are more open to seeing, remembering, and feeling things from past lives and other dimensions that they can slowly be closed off to or forget as they grow older especially when we live in a society that says "that's abnormal"
Peace & Positive Energy G
[This message has been edited by gaea999 (edited 02-24-2002).]
Re: Macfeargus & Nightfright Syndrome
Our son, adopted from birth, began waking up in the middle of the night screaming at the top of his lungs for no apparent reason, sometimes for up to 45 mins. or so, in spite of efforts to calm him. At first I assumed it was just bad nightmares.
I began to realize that he seemed to be in a trance-like state during these times, not looking directly at us even while we attempted to get his attention.
I picked him up and reassured him I was there and everything was okay. I checked to make sure his diapers were dry and gave him a bottle milk which he refused. I tried turning on a bright light in the room to try and snap him out of his trance-like state. When that failed, I brought him action toys that I could wind up that would then jump, flip or rotate in an effort to break his attention from what troubled him which usually was the trick that worked.
However, I noticed he would get in strange negative moods in which he would crawl under a table and sulk, or lie down near a wall while writhing and wriggling like a snake and throwing tantrums, kicking the wall. Really strange stuff! All these symptoms continued for the first 2-1/2 yrs. of his life.
Then a visiting minister at our church (also a former Spanish nightclub owner prior to conversion) offered to pray for anyone after the service who desired it. So I took our 2-1/2 yr. old to him. I explained the symptoms. He asked what the religious beliefs were of the birth parents. I told him the mother had no religious beliefs and the father professed to be catholic. The minister stated it sounded like a generational-ties problem. He asked our son if it was okay if he prayed for God him to which our son responded in the affirmative by nodding his head.
The minister prayed and asked God to break any generational ties and/or curses pertaining to him or his birth-family's line. It is now 13-1/2 years later and those problems have never reoccurred since that date he was prayed for. Amazing!
When he first started talking, I noticed he had a distinct Scandinavian accent which he quickly lost. Unlike typical teens of today's pop music, he has displayed an unusual interest in ancient things like renaissance art (the kind I dislike), Celtic music, Irish bagpipes, foklore, etc. I have commented in fun to him on numerous occasions that I think he's just "an old soul." I admit, however, I think he may have had a prior life which would explain his unusual tastes in most everything, his early inexplicable accent that disappeared, and prior "nightfright" symptoms coupled with strange negative behavior and trance-like states which he is now free of.
Our son, adopted from birth, began waking up in the middle of the night screaming at the top of his lungs for no apparent reason, sometimes for up to 45 mins. or so, in spite of efforts to calm him. At first I assumed it was just bad nightmares.
I began to realize that he seemed to be in a trance-like state during these times, not looking directly at us even while we attempted to get his attention.
I picked him up and reassured him I was there and everything was okay. I checked to make sure his diapers were dry and gave him a bottle milk which he refused. I tried turning on a bright light in the room to try and snap him out of his trance-like state. When that failed, I brought him action toys that I could wind up that would then jump, flip or rotate in an effort to break his attention from what troubled him which usually was the trick that worked.
However, I noticed he would get in strange negative moods in which he would crawl under a table and sulk, or lie down near a wall while writhing and wriggling like a snake and throwing tantrums, kicking the wall. Really strange stuff! All these symptoms continued for the first 2-1/2 yrs. of his life.
Then a visiting minister at our church (also a former Spanish nightclub owner prior to conversion) offered to pray for anyone after the service who desired it. So I took our 2-1/2 yr. old to him. I explained the symptoms. He asked what the religious beliefs were of the birth parents. I told him the mother had no religious beliefs and the father professed to be catholic. The minister stated it sounded like a generational-ties problem. He asked our son if it was okay if he prayed for God him to which our son responded in the affirmative by nodding his head.
The minister prayed and asked God to break any generational ties and/or curses pertaining to him or his birth-family's line. It is now 13-1/2 years later and those problems have never reoccurred since that date he was prayed for. Amazing!
When he first started talking, I noticed he had a distinct Scandinavian accent which he quickly lost. Unlike typical teens of today's pop music, he has displayed an unusual interest in ancient things like renaissance art (the kind I dislike), Celtic music, Irish bagpipes, foklore, etc. I have commented in fun to him on numerous occasions that I think he's just "an old soul." I admit, however, I think he may have had a prior life which would explain his unusual tastes in most everything, his early inexplicable accent that disappeared, and prior "nightfright" symptoms coupled with strange negative behavior and trance-like states which he is now free of.
nexus
Senior Registered
Dear Jessie,
I 'm sorry I took so long to read this post.
My son, now 18 had similar problems as an infant and until he was about 10 years old he was terrified of leaving home as if fearing abandonment.
When he was little..I placed a small mattress on the floor beside our bed which he could come into the room and use quietly without disturbing us(I always knew of course).It helped me get some sleep and him know we were always there.
It was specifically my little boy, my third, that brought me closer to a belief in reincarnation because of his obsession, from the time he could talk, about death and being abandoned.There were many other strange references that he was too young to know.There was also a strange dream from my deceased grandmother one night telling me everything would be allright. I awoke startled to see her,and wondering WHY she said that about two seconds BEFORE my son began screaming in panic and breathless in his room. He would not stop and could not catch his breath.We took him to the hospital. He was put under an oxygen tent and we were told that he might have croup or asthma. It NEVER happened again. That is when I began to explain to him that many people believe we are never separated no matter what. Mommies and their children are always together..if not here then in another place..etc..
As he grew, he began using the mattress less and less but still would not even go to a friends home without us having to rush to pick him up.He would have panic attacks when he even thought of having to be separated.
Then a strange thing happened. My child, who was afraid of someone breaking in his window at night, began to watch cheesy horror movies on TV. I was really concerned...but when I heard him laughing I realized that he was actually training himself not to be afraid.
He began to become less attached to us all on his own.
My greatest complaint about him now is his detachment, his absolute determination to be totally independant..solve everything on his own. Even for a teenager, this behaviour is pronounced and problematic because he never asks any one for advice and is often left floating without guidance and frustrated again.
I have had to insist that he tell us where he is going to be when he goes out etc..which is OFTEN since he was about 11 years old.
It is as if his soul was so shaken by this fear it is concentrating on this lifetime to go the opposite way.
I believe he will eventually have to find a balance...but just as he did an about turn on his own when he was 10..I guess it will be on his own when he moves out. The most I can do is let him know I am there if he wants to talk and recognize that this is a soul struggle.
So, at your stage I'd sum up by advising you to try to be available to him when he needs you(sleeping beside you?) without making a fuss over it. At his age, if he is willing you might ask him about dreams etc...and speak honestly about your belief in past life traumas. Maybe he can see the logic in the fact that what he is afraid of is no more.His actual memories are probably past.Children seem most lucid about memories like that when they begin to speak fluently..age 3 or so.
Jordy, my son, still believes in reincarnation, though he does not openly talk about it. He actually wrote about his childhood fears and his possible past life in several essays in public and high school.
He also, sometimes likes to tell me about his dreams.
I don't know if anything here has helped you. I just want to say that I realize now, from other posts on this board that this is not an uncommon situation...and of course Carol Bowman's research is helping to bring this out.
Best of luck,
------------------
Nexus...a meeting point of worlds
I 'm sorry I took so long to read this post.
My son, now 18 had similar problems as an infant and until he was about 10 years old he was terrified of leaving home as if fearing abandonment.
When he was little..I placed a small mattress on the floor beside our bed which he could come into the room and use quietly without disturbing us(I always knew of course).It helped me get some sleep and him know we were always there.
It was specifically my little boy, my third, that brought me closer to a belief in reincarnation because of his obsession, from the time he could talk, about death and being abandoned.There were many other strange references that he was too young to know.There was also a strange dream from my deceased grandmother one night telling me everything would be allright. I awoke startled to see her,and wondering WHY she said that about two seconds BEFORE my son began screaming in panic and breathless in his room. He would not stop and could not catch his breath.We took him to the hospital. He was put under an oxygen tent and we were told that he might have croup or asthma. It NEVER happened again. That is when I began to explain to him that many people believe we are never separated no matter what. Mommies and their children are always together..if not here then in another place..etc..
As he grew, he began using the mattress less and less but still would not even go to a friends home without us having to rush to pick him up.He would have panic attacks when he even thought of having to be separated.
Then a strange thing happened. My child, who was afraid of someone breaking in his window at night, began to watch cheesy horror movies on TV. I was really concerned...but when I heard him laughing I realized that he was actually training himself not to be afraid.
He began to become less attached to us all on his own.
My greatest complaint about him now is his detachment, his absolute determination to be totally independant..solve everything on his own. Even for a teenager, this behaviour is pronounced and problematic because he never asks any one for advice and is often left floating without guidance and frustrated again.
I have had to insist that he tell us where he is going to be when he goes out etc..which is OFTEN since he was about 11 years old.
It is as if his soul was so shaken by this fear it is concentrating on this lifetime to go the opposite way.
I believe he will eventually have to find a balance...but just as he did an about turn on his own when he was 10..I guess it will be on his own when he moves out. The most I can do is let him know I am there if he wants to talk and recognize that this is a soul struggle.
So, at your stage I'd sum up by advising you to try to be available to him when he needs you(sleeping beside you?) without making a fuss over it. At his age, if he is willing you might ask him about dreams etc...and speak honestly about your belief in past life traumas. Maybe he can see the logic in the fact that what he is afraid of is no more.His actual memories are probably past.Children seem most lucid about memories like that when they begin to speak fluently..age 3 or so.
Jordy, my son, still believes in reincarnation, though he does not openly talk about it. He actually wrote about his childhood fears and his possible past life in several essays in public and high school.
He also, sometimes likes to tell me about his dreams.
I don't know if anything here has helped you. I just want to say that I realize now, from other posts on this board that this is not an uncommon situation...and of course Carol Bowman's research is helping to bring this out.
Best of luck,
------------------
Nexus...a meeting point of worlds