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Moving Through Grief

Welcome to the forum Angelafly hug2.gif


I cannot say I understand what it's like to lose a child, as I have none of my own at the moment, and won't for a long time. I have lost loved ones in the past, but it doesn't exactly make up for the grief you must be feeling at this time.


I really hope that things get better for you, and that you are able to sort things out and find answers to any questions you have. It's painfully and impossibly difficult to let go of someone you loved so much and who was very close to you, my deepested condolences.


I think in the end however, I think your son would want you to be happy. I think a lot of people seem to forget that even though someone isn't there physically, it doesn't mean they're not there at all. They are. They are all around you. In the house, in your garden, the playground, the wind. And most importantly, they are in your heart.


I understand your confusion with carrying such pain into another life, but I think if we take it in doses, the pain gets much easier to handle. From a personal stance, I think trying to forget about it and act as if it never happened is more painful and more difficult than anything else in this type of situation. There's something to learn and to gain as well as lose in every situation. And what doesn't break us down, cut us up, tear us apart or kill us, makes us stronger.


Death is just another beginning. Everything is always creating, destroying and recreating itself. Without death, there is no life. And without life, death cannot exist. Destruction vs. creation. Day vs. night. Yin vs. yang. The circle of life.


Nothing is ever truly lost. Ever.


I really hope you get through this and come out a stronger person than before hug2.gif


As for my own experiences with the loss of a love one in this life and in PLs....


My paternal grandfather was probably my closest family member. When he died, I didn't know what to think. What to say. What to do. My mind went blank. My face went blank. Eventually, I came to the realisation that he was gone (although not truly) and broke down in tears.


The one loss from a PL that still tears me up was from WWII. I felt hopeless, lost. As if I were drifting in some sort of endless white abyss. No color. No sound. Just me, moving along at a mile an hour, going no where. And then it came crashing down on me in an instant. What I have come to realise is that this individual has returned today, and is also my "guardian angel" in a sense.


As much as I dislike the Allies firebombing Dresden, I have to thank them for their timing. I wouldn't have woken up from the trance that I was in had it not been for imminent danger.


Something I learned from that life and countless others is, you cannot give up. Giving up solves nothing. It leaves you behind and feeling worse than ever. I do stupid things sometimes. I've done stupid things. I'm going to do stupid things. Sometimes I feel like the whole world has turned against me, and everything I do, they're pushing back. Sometimes I'm afraid to push back. But I have to. I have a very important mission in this life. I have the world balancing dangerously on my shoulders, and I cannot give up and let it fall off because if I do, we're all doomed.


The weight hasn't crushed me yet. And I'm not going to let it.
 
I lost my first wife during childbirth. I have no idea as to if the child was stillborn or what happened either. My first wife was also my wife in my 19c lifetime so it was pretty hard to bear.


I simply stuffed my feelings and became a workaholic in a sense. I never told my second wife about it.


As far as the healing is concerned, as I heal the grief in this body due to all the loss - I am also healing myself, so it's a nice trade-off and the essences I have been using for such an issue have been very helpful.
 
My father has been gone for over a decade, and when I lost him I entered such a deep depression I did not know if I could find my way out. I eventually did, through the help of two men who loved me to no end, my first love, who returned to my life just as I was entering self destruct mode, and my father, who began communicating with me. He told me he knew I needed a message from him to begin to heal.


The lessons I have learned from my father are amazing, and our discussions are something I treasure. Just this morning I was talking about getting involved in something and I was told to "keep my nose out of other people's business". He has kept his sense of humor, which is nice.


What I am trying to say is that they truly never leave us, they continue to love us from above. And, I know that if the circumstances are right, they can return to us. It might be as another child, a grandchild, a niece or a nephew. Or, your child may choose to remain in Heaven to greet you when you arrive there.


My father is choosing to remain in Heaven to await my mother. Once she does, they will be reborn as neighbors, grow up together, fall in love and continue the deep love they carried for each other here.


Please keep moving, one day at a time, one hour at a time, even one step at a time if you have to. And, please reach out to others, I know there are links on this site to help you.


The others have said it so well, I will add a {{hug}} wish you the best.
 
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