my big brother

[Okyots]

When i was about two years old and an only child, i began to talk about my big brother and different every-day activities we used to do together, such as getting water from a pump, which was really strange for a toddler brought up in the suburbs to recall. On various occasions my mother would come into the family room and find me lying on the sofa with tears streaming down my face talking about my big brother dying and how terribly i missed him. I would tell my parents about "When I was a big girl" and things that i would do. One day while i was watching Reading Rainbow on PBS i started screaming frantically for my mother. By the time she came into the room i was very disappointed and kept saying that she missed it and that my old house was on TV and that she missed seeing it. A few minutes later my old house,as i called it, came back on the TV and my mother said that it was a Chinesse Junk boat. I kept on saying that that was my old house where my brother and i used to live. There are many other stories that i told my mother when i was younger, but some of them, she has forgotten. Now i am 15 and I don't have any recollection of my brother but i desperatly want to be able to remember him and my other life now because i feel like they were a very important part of me that is now missing.

 

[rinkrat]

Maybe your 'brother' is someone that's coming into your life now. You might be surprised to know that when I was fifteen, my life was changed for ever. I met the man who is now my best friend. We dated for six months and have been friends (now the best of) ever since (8/9 years later). I think that that year was the best one of my life.

One day when we were walking he told me that he could see us being married one day with a dog, a cat and three children. Past life memory? It's really strange because we were only dating at the time (he was my first boyfriend), and I didn't know what to think of it. Could he possibly be proposing to me? I was really freaked out. I couldn't see it at the time, but now, it seems nice. I could deffinately see myself being married to him with a couple of children. It's funny because even though I'm dating someone else (and it's a great relationship) we still talk about this fact. Neither of us have ever brought this up with any of our other family members, but both our parents (including my grandmother and great aunt) have always been able to see us as married (one day in the future).

I've always wanted to have twins (boy and girl) and one day my best friend started talking about how he'd like to have a boy and a girl twin (the same as me, with the boy being older...and I never told him about this fact). He said it would also be nice to have a second boy (a third child). Considering we aren't even dating or romantically involved, I told him we'd have to wait on this fact.

It's strange how the world goes around. I hope you have a great day Okyots and that your life changes for the better. Keep a lookout for your friend. Take Care, -rinkrat.

 

[Okyots]

dear rinkrat, I can't beleive what you just wrote. It literally sends chills up my spine!
About three years ago I moved and started going to a new school where i met this guy. We were both the only two taking an acceled math and english class. We were really close friends for two years. Then, last summer we started to really like each other and started going out.He was also my first boyfriend. It was the happiest I think i've ever been before (of course i am only 15 now so i know more is to come!)I don't think i was ever more comfortable around anyone else. We loved each other so much. We, like you, also made comments about getting married. I always was so anxious to see or talk to him again and i can remember once going nuts after not being able to talk to him for two days while i was on a family trip. Anyway, we only went out for about 2 months but it seemed like it was forever. It was really hard to keep the relationship going after school had started again in the fall because I had switched to a new school and it was becoming harder to become as dedicated to each other as we had been. I was the one that was really at fault for breaking up the relationship because I asked him if i could go with another guy that went to my new school to homecoming. I think that really hurt him a lot and now that i look back on it i hate myself. By November we had almost completely stopped talking on the phone and were completely cut off from each other. But my mom and his mom remained friends.
Just this May I began to recognize just how special our relationship was. I had had a couple of other boyfriends and none of them were as close. I wrote him a letter telling him how I felt and he said that he had thought the exact same thing only two days before, which was really when I started thinking about him. We've gotten together once since then and I'm not sure if we're going to get back together or not. I'm not even sure if i want to because i'm afraid it's just going to cause us more pain when we eventually break up again. But i can't seem to get him out of my mind and i'm afraid that i let something really special slip through my fingers.
Thank you so much for writing back to me and your letter only helped me to realize that i think i really do miss him and our relationship.
Take care!
-Okyots-

 

[rinkrat]

Okyots, all I can say is KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP GOING, stay friends with this guy, he sounds like a really special one. I know what you mean about the mistakes, I made a lot of them in our relationship too. The important thing is to learn from them. It might take a lot of years to have the relationship going and for it to be where you want it to be, but trust me, if you're going to be in this for the long haul anyways, it's deffinately worth it. You just might find out what true (unconditional) love is all about.

Take Care,
-rinkrat.

 

[Shari]

Hello

I hope you two don't mind my jumping in but this whole conversation here has struck a chord with me.

I was 15 when I met my future husband. We dated on and off for 10 years (yes 10 years!). And I remember going through those "I wonder if the grass is greener on the other side" phases during those 10 years. But he is just such a compassionate, beautiful and wise soul that I just kept going back to him and we do just seem to complete each other (literally).

Well, on July 8th, we celebrated 11 years of marriage (on June 25th it was 21 years since we met). We have 2 incredibly wonderful souls that chose to be born to us - a boy and a girl. And sometimes I want to "ring his neck" because we both get caught up in life's craziness. Mostly though I want to hug him because he really does love unconditionally and I give back the same way. When that happens it really is special. And I must say I never think about the condition of the neighbor's grass. Mine's looking just fine! So follow your hearts girls and listen to that inner voice.

Peace and light to you both,
Shari

 

[rinkrat]

That's great Shari, I'm really happy for you. Hopefully life will turn out as grand for Okyots and me. Take Care, -rinkrat.