Hi Alan
Only too pleased to help a little…and Falan, what a beautiful name
I thought of a few more things I didn’t mention in my first post where I was rushing through, so thought I’d just add a little, so at least when your wife pops in, she’ll have something to read
I’m not sure how old Falan is presently, so some of these things may be better for a later date, but all the same, I’m throwing them forward.
Journals are invaluable when our children start displaying any signs of memories. Every little word, descriptive and emotion, as vague as it may be at times, all eventually make up the pieces of the puzzle, and if your daughter is very openly perceptive, then you may have a whole lot more to come yet, through her play, conversation and such. A lot (not all of course) of children’s memories can start fading around the ages of around 5 years old, when they become more integrated into “society”, education and the way we live and morals we preach, etc, which all go to layering on top of their innocent, pure and untouched hearts and minds and the boundaries they lack at such a tender and open age as Falan obviously is at now.
These soul moments are precious – I’m sure you’ll thank the day when you have everything to look back unto, rather than muddling through your own memories for remembrance
Artwork is another way of getting your child to communicate their inner feelings and thoughts with you, children are particularly gifted when it comes to being able to “create” and “expose” their inner feelings through other outlets - be it writing, drawing or play…perhaps even getting her to tell you a story about what her playtime adventures and interactions are about will help shed some light also.
Also, maybe you could look into her dreams and what they reveal by way of symbols, etc, and keep a journal of anything that comes up. You could make it like a game - every morning, you could all sit down to breakfast and share your stories/dreams from the night before…our dreams can reveal a lot of details and symbols that we miss in the waking world.
You are probably doing the best and only thing presently, that you (and any other parent) could have done, and that is to remind Falan that they are with YOU and your wife now and she is very loved…and that what happened then was in the past. Often just talking about their memories and knowing that they are believed, is enough to bring about a releasement in the area or anxiety of memories surfacing for them…it is often when they are blocked or told not to make up stories and made to hold everything within that the problem remains persistent (we all know what happens when we bury our own problems).
Children have no concept of time in the linear constraints we are aware of as adults, and so often, something that happened a year or YEARS ago (in some cases), can feel to the child like a recent event, as fresh as what happened to them yesterday. Their mind is free, without limit, so often their memories can become confused in the way Falan is in this sleepy state. At the end of the day, it’s said we all chose our own parents, so it was Falan who carefully picked you and your wife, and that is something to always remember…she picked you for a good reason as well
Sorry if I’ babbled, it’s way past 1am where I am, so I may have gone into automatic pilot…hope I made SOME sense…LOL
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Lots of Love
Kelly
[This message has been edited by Kelly (edited 04-22-2002).]
