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Son's Early Memories and "Imaginary" Friend

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Since my middle son was about two, he engaged in constant conversation with his "imaginary" friend, "Thomas". I would ask my son if Thomas was his friend. Incredulously, he would reply, "No mom, he's my brother." At first, I just shrugged it off to common childhood imagination.
When he was about three, he asked me if I remembered the fire. I inquired what fire he was speaking about. He said, "You know, mom, the fire when I died." I told him I didn't "remember" that, but to tell me more about it. He said, "You were there ... except you weren't my mom, you were my sister ... and we lived in New York ... on a farm. When the fire started, you pushed me and Thomas and Jonifer down into a hole with a door." I asked him about Jonifer using a female pronoun and he corrected me, stating Jonifer was a boy. At the time, the descriptions he was using seemed very detailed and advanced for his age. Further, we had never visited New York nor talked about it to my knowledge.
Since Jonifer is such an unusual name, I have actually contemplated researching the incident but don't know where to begin.
Ironically, my older son had a terrible phobia of candles as a young child. At Christmas time, his grandmother's house was decorated with artificial candles in each window. We had to turn them all off in order to get him to stay inside the house. Coincidence?
My question is: How often do family units report common past lives?
 
This is creepy. My daughter just turned 4 and for the past year or so, she has had an imaginary sister named Cathy. Also she frequently describes tales in vivid detail that always start, "Mommy, remember when I was big?" and often, "Remember when I was 15?" It's always age 15. Cathy is in many of her "tales" as her sister. She talks about living "far, far out in the country where there are lots of flowers." She doesn't discuss personal tragedy but often tells about how Cathy, her younger sister, got into her bedroom and choked on something and then went to heaven. She is absolutely neurotic about leaving any small item within a younger child's reach, and now that we are expecting our 2nd child, she is constantly patrolling the nursery looking for things that her "baby sister" might choke on. She is constantly saying things like, "I promise Mommy, I won't let my baby choke on any of my toys. I promise." I never thought twice about it before, but after seeing the special "Beyond Death" last night on A&E, the segment with Ms. Bowman gave me the chills. I have always dismissed my daughter's tales as being part of her vivid imagination but she is constantly telling about when she was "big", and just last week a friend of mine commented that it seems like she's been here before.
 
I am so glad that you have come across the information that alerts you to take your daughter's memories seriously. Especially since it seems she is a little bit upset by them. I hope you will read Carol's book. It would help you know just how to respond to your daughter to validate her memories and help her release any leftover guilt she may be feeling related to her sister's death. This kind of memory in little children is not as rare as we used to think! In fact it seems to be normal, we just need to learn how to respond and help. Good for you that you are open to it.

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Elisabeth Hallett
 
My son also had an imaginary friend he called "ghost of Adam" , my son's name is Adam. We couldn't go anywhere or do anything without ghost of Adam coming with us. If we asked him stuff about him, Adam would just say that he was there to keep him safe, he wore funny looking clothes and they had fun. It was kind of freaky because he would sit in his room playing with his "friend" and actually carry on a conversation. Adam is 13 now and he remembers Ghost of Adam well.
 
I have noticed this kind of thing with my son, who is now four years old. At the age of 18 mo. he had the vocabulary of at least a three year old. It was at this time that he started with the "Remember when....mommy" stuff. I say stuff because there was a lot of it. I have figured out at least two distinct lives before the present. However, he is talking about it less and less. Is there anything that I can do to keep him talking? I realize that it may be therapeutic at some point. I would welcome any suggestions.
 
Iplohika,

With my son, when he would stop talking about the other lives,(he remembered one more clearly than the other), I would ask him, "Remember when you said...." Then I'd ask if he knew of anything else because I couldn't quite remember.

I hope this helps you some.

Karen
 
My son also talks about "when he used to be big". He says when I used to be ten and then got to be five. He talks about food that I know he has never had before, saying he remembers eating it when he used to be ten. He never sways from the age ten. I thought this was pretty weird stuff. The first few times he talked like this, I thought it was his imagination...now I am not so sure. Recently, he seemed to know more than he should have about death. I found this site while wondering about his statements and wanted to learn more about past lives. I may be over reacting to his imagination, but I wonder....
 
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