Hi, this is my first post. I'm glad I found this forum as I'm unable to discuss my memories and beliefs with everyone else. It is not an accepted belief in my country and people would laugh at me or think me deranged if I started this topic. I've researched it since and I've come to believe that I have indeed lived before.
When I was around 3, I started mentioning that Alix S. was not my real name. I said another name, a French one. The surname I kept mentioning would be familiar to those who studied French history. Of course that was not the case in my family. But I kept telling them my name was XY and they humoured me. I kept telling them that I had a husband who had been wounded in the war and we had to stay in the countryside for a while in order for him to get better. One day, when I was about 4, I scared my mom very much because I started screaming all of a sudden and crying with no reason. When she finally managed to console me, I told her that my husband was dead. Of course my mom tried to laugh it off and told me to stop pretending that I was a great lady with a husband and children. She said if I didn't stop she would take me to a mental hospital. She was joking of course, but I was scared and from then on I stopped talking about my "other family"
As I grew up I had many flashbacks/memories/dreams and later when I went to France I experienced very strong deja-vu feelings. I was born in the first part of the 18th century in an aristocratic French family. I have very clear memories about my life as a little girl, raised in a beautiful chateau in the countryside. I have a very vivid memory of myself in the garden of the castle. I was in the arms of my nanny and I must have been about 2 years old. I had barely started talking and she was telling me the name of different objects: This is a rose, this is a statue, this is a fountain....It was summer and I remember the sunlight reflecting on the water of the fountain. I remember telling her to put me down and I went to the fountain and stated playing in the water and laughing because I saw my reflection. I remember one day hen I was about 6, my parents were back from court for a short while and we were all in the courtyard of the castle, my mother, father, sisters and brothers and our servants. There was a group of poor people there, they were peasants from the village and my mother was handing them presents, to some of them money, to others food or clothes. Then she asked my youngest sister to give some presents, and she did so. I remember one of my brothers whispering to me "Our sister is charity personified!" and we giggled and laughed.
Other memories are from the period I spent in a convent for my education. I remember one of my sisters was married and at court and I wanted very much to be like her. A marriage was arranged for me with an aristocrat. His rank was higher than my own and I thought it very funny that I would outrank my parents and sisters. I became a lady in waiting at the court of Louis XV and had 6 children, 2 of them died young. I had many lovers and my husband had mistresses but it did not matter because in our society marriage had nothing to do with love. We were more like partners in a firm. My social life and position at court mattered immensely to me and I remember suffering intensely at things that I perceived as slights and/or humiliation from other courtiers. My husband was wounded in a war and died about a year later. I was devastated not because I loved him but because I thought that by losing him I would lose my position.My whole life revolved around the court. It seems to have been a very happy life and I would give anything to get it back. When I visited Versailles it seemed like a homecoming. I am not an emotional person, I never cry and I don't like to display my feelings in public, but when I went to Versailles for the first time I was crying with joy and with the feeling of belonging.
When I was around 3, I started mentioning that Alix S. was not my real name. I said another name, a French one. The surname I kept mentioning would be familiar to those who studied French history. Of course that was not the case in my family. But I kept telling them my name was XY and they humoured me. I kept telling them that I had a husband who had been wounded in the war and we had to stay in the countryside for a while in order for him to get better. One day, when I was about 4, I scared my mom very much because I started screaming all of a sudden and crying with no reason. When she finally managed to console me, I told her that my husband was dead. Of course my mom tried to laugh it off and told me to stop pretending that I was a great lady with a husband and children. She said if I didn't stop she would take me to a mental hospital. She was joking of course, but I was scared and from then on I stopped talking about my "other family"
As I grew up I had many flashbacks/memories/dreams and later when I went to France I experienced very strong deja-vu feelings. I was born in the first part of the 18th century in an aristocratic French family. I have very clear memories about my life as a little girl, raised in a beautiful chateau in the countryside. I have a very vivid memory of myself in the garden of the castle. I was in the arms of my nanny and I must have been about 2 years old. I had barely started talking and she was telling me the name of different objects: This is a rose, this is a statue, this is a fountain....It was summer and I remember the sunlight reflecting on the water of the fountain. I remember telling her to put me down and I went to the fountain and stated playing in the water and laughing because I saw my reflection. I remember one day hen I was about 6, my parents were back from court for a short while and we were all in the courtyard of the castle, my mother, father, sisters and brothers and our servants. There was a group of poor people there, they were peasants from the village and my mother was handing them presents, to some of them money, to others food or clothes. Then she asked my youngest sister to give some presents, and she did so. I remember one of my brothers whispering to me "Our sister is charity personified!" and we giggled and laughed.
Other memories are from the period I spent in a convent for my education. I remember one of my sisters was married and at court and I wanted very much to be like her. A marriage was arranged for me with an aristocrat. His rank was higher than my own and I thought it very funny that I would outrank my parents and sisters. I became a lady in waiting at the court of Louis XV and had 6 children, 2 of them died young. I had many lovers and my husband had mistresses but it did not matter because in our society marriage had nothing to do with love. We were more like partners in a firm. My social life and position at court mattered immensely to me and I remember suffering intensely at things that I perceived as slights and/or humiliation from other courtiers. My husband was wounded in a war and died about a year later. I was devastated not because I loved him but because I thought that by losing him I would lose my position.My whole life revolved around the court. It seems to have been a very happy life and I would give anything to get it back. When I visited Versailles it seemed like a homecoming. I am not an emotional person, I never cry and I don't like to display my feelings in public, but when I went to Versailles for the first time I was crying with joy and with the feeling of belonging.
