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Terror barrier and thin spots in the veil

KenJ

KenJ

Moderator Emeritus
This is a continuation of a conversation in another thread.

I have tried to regress and learn more while knowing that I might not like what I discovered. A recent attempt brought a momentary feeling of pure terror that I quickly moved away from leaving me with a feeling that I should leave it alone.

From what I've heard and read (and recently experienced), highly emotional experiences, or unfinished things, of a past life are closer to the barrier that hides our previous incarnations.
http://www.reincarnationforum.com/threads/newbie-help-please.8372/#post-112382

Hi S&S, it was last week while I laid in bed before getting up - a period of time where I often try to get information to further solidify my thoughts about reincarnation. I guess I'm still trying to understand why I am experiencing a life where so many physical things have been taken away.

The memories of James Leininger, Jenny Cockell, and others like war-time memories expressed here were an indication to me to be aware of the probability that if I were to recall anything, I might not like the experience. I've had experiences in this lifetime where I was in a bad circumstance and felt it to be familiar with a knowing of what I should do which made it a lot easier to get through - I suspect that those times let me get in touch with similar traumatic experiences in past lives I've had.
 
Hi Ken,

In terms of physical things being taken away, I don't know. However, my instinct is that sometimes the changes we find hard are there because we need to appreciate something we denigrated, didn't truly appreciate, or took for granted before. I actually believe that many cross-gender lives resulting in dysphoria are also part of this pattern. But then, that goes along with my belief that gender is an innate characteristic at the level of spirit and not merely a transitory aspect of being in the physical.

On the terror barrier (or fear barrier), I have really found it impassable. Where it has come up, I have found it impossible to go through. It is like trying to hold your hand on a red hot stove top--I just can't do it. With me there is not just the overpowering terror, but an electric feeling as if I am being subjected to an electric shock. Totally bizarre, but I'm actually glad that someone else has experienced something similar on the board. I had wondered why this seemed to be my experience alone. Have you read about others who have experienced this?

Cordially,
S&S

PS--I have some inklings of what might be behind the barrier, but something in my psyche screamed bloody murder every time I tried to actually remember anything in detail about it.
 
Hi S&S and Ken,

I know this barrier. I cannot remember my violent lives and violence but under my surface there is a sleeping vulcano that might errupt one day. There is ugly stuff. This barrier is not electrical but It frightens me somehow.
 
SeaAndSky said:
Hi Ken,

This is the first time I've heard you (or anyone else on the board) mention the "Terror Barrier"--something I've talked about in a few posts over the years in terms of my own attempts. When did this happen to you and how? It is one of the things that convinced me not to go down certain pathways . . . at least for the time being.

Cordially,
S&S
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I'm obviously not Ken :D but have experienced such a thing before, and I've seen A LOT of stuff that would drive anyone insane yet I occaisionally have these "nope, not going there ever" moments when working on a PL memory
Don't know why it happens and in my case it's very strange, especially with the horror stuff I've already seen, heard, done in the last 2 centuries or so yet there are moments I just shut down and break off a regression
 
SeaAndSky said:
...I'm actually glad that someone else has experienced something similar on the board. I had wondered why this seemed to be my experience alone. Have you read about others who have experienced this?
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Not really, although it would seem normal considering that children's nightmares and past-life stuff go together and things that get repressed often lie close to the surface.
 
This morning I thought about asking that I could get past that fear of seeing/feeling that frightened me and soon thereafter had a "knowing" - I call them knowings when they are just understandings that "are there" without thinking about them as opposed to realizations or rationalizations that include a direct link to the current thought/awareness - anyway, this knowing appeared while I was thinking about something else, it's weird as I now both see it in text and understand it in some other manner that defies my putting it into words. It was that if I were to re-experience that terror, I would leave my current body (die?). Either it was that bad or I'm a wuss!
 
I hope that you are ok with whatever there happens to be because if anything that barrier is likely there for a good reason. The mind can run wild given that all the horrors of even the last century inflicted on people.
 
Thanks There&Back, I'm sure that I've had "good" experiences that were highly emotional in the past that would not lead to terror, but they elude me still.
 
There seem to be things I am keeping from myself, but it was never like what you describe, Ken... that I would die if I experienced it. Not necessarily means murder or torture, of course. Maybe you died of a heart attack or something and going through it again would make your heart stop...
For me it is more like parts were left blank or black.
Some were ugly things, thankfully, I didn't experience fully, but saw them like through a veil. Or got the information I needed, but without having to go through it again fully.
Not that everything was horrible, no.
I am not sure that all what remains hidden necessarily would be horrible. Maybe the information just wouldn't be helpful at current point. Or I wouldn't believe it for what reason ever. I believe that if we really need to know something about our past lives and are ready to deal with the knowledge, then we will get the memories somehow.
I really wonder, sometimes, why I can't remember more, why I am not getting a more complete picture... I have had both very pleasant and everything but nice memories, so that I wonder what could be so bad... then I return to thinking, that maybe what ever there is not necessarily is horror, but just would hinder me to live my current life.
 
I can tell that the level of terror/horror/pain varies quite a bit, but some are definitely experiencing something similar to what I experience. Ken, I also feel that sense of impending death or something even worse if I go farther. Wow, Tanker, that was really intense. It seems to me that whatever was there, it was not something your conscious mind could deal with.

Here's the kicker for me. The thing(s) that probably were most instrumental in driving me to this board I can't remember! There is some kind of terrible irony there. I can get stuff that seem to relate to it or them, but I cannot get even that exactly or fully. I cannot be sure what it is that hides behind that barrier, and it has gotten so that (following my last attempt) I am afraid to even try.

S&S
 
SeaAndSky said:
I actually believe that many cross-gender lives resulting in dysphoria are also part of this pattern. But then, that goes along with my belief that gender is an innate characteristic at the level of spirit and not merely a transitory aspect of being in the physical.
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I would say this describes me pretty well. I would say that I'm female, but I have no issue being male either. From what I can tell, I have a pretty balanced pattern of alternating lives.

However there does seem to be some choice involved. I've clearly seen myself as the female I could have chosen for this life.

I think I do what needs to be done for that life, to help someone as I need to in the form that's best for it. However, if I can indulge, I will! I suppose that's how it works. Haha

I can't say I've had a terror boundary though. I asked a friend who had done some really accurate readings for me before, how old I was, at least on earth and she she said I was older than cave people.

Given that, I've been unable to learn about anything else other than the last 2-300 years. Almost all of my attempts to access anything else have been met with a solid wall of "you don't need to know that". I don't know if that's coming from me or spirit guides or who else. Its been very frustrating.
 
I don't know if it's my time to discover things that terrify me, but my memories have never been protected by a barrier or something. I am able to remember "bad" or "traumatic" things easily.

Since I was a child I have sad memories. It's something that depresses me sometimes. If I want to remember happy moments, I have to try too hard. When I turned thirteen, for the first time, I experienced the sensation of blockage. Something was blocking horrible memories. I was very happy at that moment, and then the pessimistic memories came back. Those blockages lasted a few months, so I understand. I think that protects you from seeing things that can be unpleasant, but at the same time some blocked experiences can help you understand some things.o_O
 
I've never been really terrified in my life. I had guns pointed at me, I've gone up against the powerful, I've had to live with murderers etc. Some of these things would make me apprehensive but I never really understood terror.

Because of my life lived I thought that I was ready to face anything existence could throw at me. I was confident and arrogant in that belief.

As a result I pushed through the 'terror barrier' and saw what lay beyond it. It was beyond terror, beyond insanity, beyond anything that I've experienced in my life. I wasn't ready for it....but I did ask for it.

You people are wise to leave it well enough alone.
 
This thread is very apt for me right now... when I found Terry a couple of years back, the shock of finding my past self broke through this fear barrier, and a portal between me and Terry was opened. I had vivid flashbacks and felt as Jim said beyond terror, beyond insanity... especially considering I recall in very vivid details a massacre which I have no words to describe here. My mind plunged into that sea of madness and despair. My memories of Terry were happening right there in front of me, his voice spoke through me. There was no barrier between the past and the present.

At the end of the movie Apocalypse Now, there is a poignant moment where Colonel Kurtz says his final words staring into space: The horror... the horror. That’s how it feels, the horror. It can’t be unseen. It can’t be undone.

I’m at a point where I need to break through another internal barrier to find a resolution for Terry’s death. I am resisting but every day living in crippling anxiety. Supermarket lights remind me of the lighting of the building where Terry was shot. I avoid people and places and can not eat nor sleep well most days.

It seems there is not only one barrier, but many.
 
I'm curious landsend, what do you expect to gain from further pursuit? I have a vague idea of it being interesting and perhaps helpful in my current life yet I wonder if finding more would somehow mess up something that was supposed to be a part of this lifetime. I'm just curious to see how varied our thoughts are.
 
Well... it's a complicated one on my part. For some folk, they might just leave things as they are. But I have a very determined nature and need to find answers. I know I can't go to the grave in this life without finding answers, or least trying my very best to reach a resolution.

I don't like the thought of carrying Terry's life to the grave unresolved, and then having to keep going through this daily pain and anxiety in another life. I'm in this life partially to resolve that life.

My need for resolution isn't only just about finding justice for Terry's unjust death (although that plays a big part). I need to find answers because there are living family members who are looking for answers. What I've been shown is that Terry fathered a child when he came back to America. I'd very much like to find the child, and his mother, if she is still alive.
 
To further elaborate ... the memories that pinpoint exactly where I was, what I was doing, etc. seem to be behind this barrier. A couple of times I've managed to push through the barrier (despite a lot of internal resistance). Pushing through that barrier led me to seeing that when Terry made it back to America, he married and had a child.

My problem is that I'm lacking in precise details, names of places, and finer details -- although I could tell you precisely how the house was that we were living in, and how the car was that I was driving around, and very exact details of the building where I was shot.

Even if I find the family I need to consider what I'm going to say, if anything. For now my mindset is just to find some answers. And I do believe there are answers out there. For now, once again, I have the puzzle pieces and just need to compile them together and keep gathering more pieces. What I've been shown is that if I need to break through the barrier, I'll break through -- and hopefully come out the other side.

Have you heard of the Greek concept of Kairos? This pretty much summarises my experience back when I found Terry and other moments along the way: Kairos is 'a passing instant when an opening appears which must be driven through with force if success is to be achieved.'

A combination of sheer will, and divine/fate intervention.

I was 17 when I had that dream of Terry being shot... eleven years ago I asked myself: Who was I, and why was I shot? I'm nearer now to answering that question, but still am asking myself much the same.
 
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My mind plays tricks with me. It wants to avoid cruelty.
When in a series of memories ‘I’ was about to get tortured in some dungeon in old Greece, my memory went on blank and I felt that particular rush in real life that my I was about to leave my body.
In other series of flashes, I saw cruel things drawn on paper. I am still puzzled with that drawing of cut off arms. It was called: the arms of the lovers. It was not just a flash, I was given time to see and understand.

Or, I’ve seen such a beautiful scene seen through the eyes of a native American on a horse. His people were moving with all their belongings. They went slow. It was a great open area and he rushed with his horse. It was beautiful to watch the colors of the sky, the dust clouds. He was guarding their travell against a distance.
At the moment of his death, he was in a fight. I guess in a war with another tribe. The man who killed him had a painted face. I saw the last seconds as a drawing and moving like a cartoon movie. My skull was split in two.
 
fireflydancing said:
I saw the last seconds as a drawing and moving as a cartoon movie. My skull was split in two.
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I think it is remarkable how our minds(?) protect us when there is too much to take in healthfully. In this lifetime I accepted my disability in stages, or steps, until I had an emotional crisis that resulted in my need for my wife and kids to come, more than two months post-injury, some two hours drive to comfort me. So, having experienced this phenomenon, I expected to have something similar happen with those memories that seem to be overwhelming.
 
When I am getting flashes, the really ugly stuff is there, but it is really short. Too short to interfere or really react. The shock comes later, sometimes much later. Like an image of a battlefield, a city during the Plague (obviously, describing details probably won't be suitable for children)... such things.
I also had it during a regression that I fully experienced a happy moment (saw my six children in a tribal surrounding, felt a happiness beyond words) and got the rest as "sudden knowledge" (was spared the experience, just knew I saw them all die, then died myself).
 
There was something I left out in describing the terror barrier as I experience it. I'd be especially curious if anyone else has had this experience: The fear I experience is a different kind of fear. It is not the type of "normal" fear associated with the terrible but tangible things that beset us living in this world. It is a sense of a very terrifying supernatural . . . something. I can't say exactly what. All I know is that it is impossible for me to proceed any further.

C. S. Lewis speaks of the difference between the ordinary fear that one would feel if they were told that there was a tiger on the other side of a door (and they believed it) and the fear that they would experience if they were told that there was a supernatural being on the other side of the door (and they believed it). The latter presence could be both benign or malevolent, but either way it is a different type of awe and fear than what is felt in the presence of a "natural" danger, e.g., a tiger. Likewise, there is a different type of supernatural fear felt in the presence of an archangel and that felt in the presence of an archdemon (or insert whatever suits you in terms of evil entities).

All I know is that what I experience is not a fear that seems completely tied to something dreadful that happened in a past lifetime. It may be connected to it, but it is something dreadful that is beyond that, though I cannot tell what it is.

Cordially,
S&S
 
The following is what BB commnicated to me on theses things.........What reveals itself to me is no longer mysterious or terrifying.....When I tell you John Tat my words do not portray any sense of understanding..... Information yes but no understanding.....,
 
John, it is obvious that you have gone through the fearful part and are able to feel comfortable; I'm glad that you have accomplished that and wish that I was as capable. I wrote my thoughts about this protective mechanism that is used both to protect us from harm and give us a hiding place earlier today (personal notes). Some of my personal experiences have shown me how I've have been protected (protected myself?), and I still don't know where the protection comes from or who controls it - that's why I added the "Thin spots in the veil" in the title.
 
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