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9/11 Baby - baby_rn

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baby rn

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I've never written on anything like this before...actually makes me a little nervous but anyway...Ive been looking on the internet for someone talking about their child having past life memories from 9/11. My son has been talking about it for almost a year now...he's almost 4...He started out insisting that he doesn't just want to be a firefighter that he is one...he would get up in the morning and put on his fire outfit(his big reward for being potty trained) and tell me he's going to work. He would take his play axe and pretend to chop down the walls etc because there was fire behind them. that's how it started and the info just progressed...we were reading a curious george book about him in the big city and he said very matter of factly...bad men knocked those buildings over, pointing at the twin tower picture.(he has also never been exposed to 9/11 scenes...i am also a stay at home mom. Then he said planes broke in them and he couldn't help...he also told me there were people jumping because they wouldn't wait for him to get them...He told me he was stuck and and was trying to break thru the wall to get the people out because they were calling for them ...He has also gone on extensively about the type of trucks he was in...the color bucket on the truck and how it feels to come down from up high in the bucket...very detailed about firefighting and has stated he's not a firefighter he's fire rescue...we have no firefighters in the family but the details I could go on with forever...he also talks about his friend Mike that is also a firefighter...It has opened my eyes to a whole new reality...my husband still doesn't want to believe it but the details are far too much for a three year old to make up...it makes me feel better some one else is experiencing this too

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Baby rn,


We are all ears. Please fee free to share as much detail as you want about your son's memories. We would all like to know the details he's shared with you.


Sometimes when a person dies traumatically, corresponding feelings about the death can surface in a future life. I was wondering if your son is upset, fearful, angry, or speaks matter-of-factly about being a fireman and not being able to get the people out. Does there seem to be a facet of his memories that he is stuck on? Does he mention any family?


Anything you can add about his emotional state, or possible corresponding behaviors would be interesting to all of us.


Thanks so much for sharing with us.


This post and discussion is continued in the thread 9/11 baby
 
I'm pretty confident that what my son has been telling me is from a past life...there's no way he would know all this at his age! Also the tone of his voice is completely different and he also will laugh a lot if I ask him anything...like why are you asking me this you know i know the answers...I'm very aware not to ask him anything specific because he only tells me what he wants at that time...which is always before bed or after he wakes in the morning...tonight he told me he likes to drive thru red lights with the sirens on when he doesn't actually have to and then he laughs! His info comes in spurts though usually a whole lot at a time then a lull and then more...


He told me that I would really enjoy the Christmas parties at his fire station...everyone always have lots of fun...he said they got a new fire truck because their old one is wrecked...he has said this several times about a new fire truck with a tv in it and maps and a boat on top...also he has tried to give me directions to his fire sation...funny coming from a three year old actually...he says you take a left then a right and his station is on the left with another across the street on the right. He told me he trains the new guys coming thru and his friend mike is with the older guys...there is so much in the last year I could go on forever...but there really has been less and less in the past few months..detail wise anyway that maybe he his forgetting already...oh he has said his friend Mike has two or three kids but one is the biggest four year old boy he's ever seen...I have written it down somewhat but this is just what I'm thinking of right now...he's a very quiet and kind child to everyone and I just hope this doesn't have some kind of lasting trauma to him...although he seems to not be bothered by talking about it on his own terms...almost seems better after he has talked about it...sorry so long winded


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Baby rn,


Please share more details with us. We're all ears. And, please, write down everything your son has said in chronological order, if possible, so you don't forget a detail.


A couple of things strike me immediately in your story:


First, the fact that your son speaks of his being a firefighter-- in present tense-- rings true. Young children who have spontaneous memories often speak of past events in present tense--because they don't necessarily realize they have made a transition into another life. (I write about this in my book.)


And, the story itself makes me wonder if he is still troubled by not having been able to do his job and rescue the people trapped in the building. When children have memories of traumatic, sudden deaths, they sometimes dwell on their last thoughts and feelings, for example, "I couldn't save them." That heightened feeling can carry forward into the next life and trouble a child. I was wondering if your son seems at all upset about all this. Either way, it would be good for you to assure him that he did the best he could in that situation. (More about this in the book too!) I'm always interested in the emotional impact of these memories on a child.


It seems that his play activities might be a re-enactment of his final minutes. That's not unusual, either. It seems that through playing over the scene again and again, children are trying to resolve or understand what happened to them before.


Usually children's memories emerge as they are falling asleep, when they first wake up, when they are riding in a car, or at bathtime--any situation when they're very relaxed and in a light trance state, not fully awake.


We would love to hear more, if you are willing. We are here to help. And, we are all fascinated by your story.


Thanks for sharing,


Carol


This post and discussion is continued in the thread 9/11 baby
 
Hi Baby rn,


I don't have all the answers but will help as much as a I can. I think the best way to do this is for me to copy your text and answer the questions in bold lettering. This will save a lot of time. OK, here we go.


I think you are the one that could help me with all the technical things he has told me about...he has said that he's also a scuba diver...he talks about his gear If he used the word "gear" he is correct as any thing you wear on the job is "gear".(see how one small word can mean a lot).and air tank...Yes, many of the Rescue company members are SCUBA divers.but says he rescues animals??But its funny though...NYC is an island and many rescue calls are in the water. And yes, they do animal rescues (be it on land or in water). Have you ever seen a Firefighter do CPR on a cat or dog? I have. he received flippers and mask as a present from someone,put them on and automatiically walked backwards in them and fell into the pool backwards...then said "see this is how you do it".that's an aside but thought it was funny...Yes, in many cases they roll into the water on their backs. If you want to see the reason for this, put on a face-piece and dive in the pool. One of two things will happen, either the face-piece will be pulled off your face or you might have it pushed into your face (which can be very painful).


This has been info he has telling me over a year so I'm going to try to pick out the technical firefighting things and see what you think...He has said he has a bucket truck and he rides in the bucket...he showed me with his hand how the bucket goes up and he said when you come down you don't just come down you bounce a little at the bottom and showed me with his hand...Yes, if the levers are not operated very smoothly there is a bounce he told he has lots of firefighter friends and one drives his bucket.he showed me with his hands again that there are two levers one is forward for up and another for down or something like that...also something about engaging levers to spray hoses from the bucket...Yes, there are levers to work the bucket and levers to open the gates to flow water to the hoselines /ladderpipes.he thinks his bucket has a three on it?3 has come up a lot...on his truck..but he kind of waivers back and forth about the #3...he has said it's on his hat he thinks...could he have been on a ladder truck and rescue? He is not waivering,if he was on Rescue #3 there would be a 3 on the rescue vehicle and a "Rescue 3" on his helmet. Likewise if he had been on a "Ladder Company", a 3 on the truck itself and a "Ladder 3" on the helmet (the names Ladder and Truck are used in different ways in the Fire Service) He is also sure his hat is black with yellow stripe.Over the years FDNY fought to keep thier turnout gear black.For most, their helmets are black with reflective tape on them so that they can be seen better at night. he said he has a picture of a wolf with a moon in his truck and always calls it "his" truck...he rides in the front he said...but he is not chief...this may not make sense but it is what he tells me..Makes perfect sense.Remember the WW2 pilots painting pictures on thier planes? Many firefighters do the very same thing to thier vehicles. When he says "his" he means "his". I know the feeling well. My guess is that he was, at least, a Lieutenant or Capt. of a company and would assume the passenger seat in the cab.


he has said several times about an old truck getting wrecked or dying and getting a new truck...he has told me firemen follow the leader up a line in a fire and if falls off the line he uses a bright light and sometimes a camera to find them and makes them say cheese(theres the three year old talking)...Yes, many times they are in a line and they do have high-powered flashlights. If a man should become seperated they could find him with a thermal-imageing camera (say cheese, I love it. That is just the way I would expect a firefighter to act.) something about to spray water you push the lever down for off and up for on...when talking about 9/11 (I think ) he said people were falliing from a building because they wouldn't wait...No Baby, they were not falling, they were jumping. It was not that they wouldn't wait, they couldn't wait. You tell him that for me. (sorry, had to take a tissue break). he was on the floor with his breathing mask on and tried t get out a window but it was too small so he used his ax to break a hole so he could get the people out.


To answer someones elses question about if he seems scared about this...no its very matter of fact..just statements...although his has lined up four fire hats in my bedroom so he said we could get to them quicker if we need them..his room of course set up like a fire station everything according to where he says it goes...the funny thing is he said to me one day he needs a real air tank and a real ax for his fire staion room because the ones he has are play ones and don't work! Pretty funny!anyway let me know what you think?


His concern for the people show me that he is a firefighter deep in his heart and soul. I don't see any way that he could not have been a firefighter seeing his knowledge of all the little nuances of the job.One of the worst things you can do to a firefighter is to make him feel helpless. Many were made to feel that way on 9/11.


Best, Jeff


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Hi Baby rn,


Wow, your making my brain work overtime. I haven't had to use it since I left the Dept (LOL). Here we go with some more thoughts.


Jeff


Thank you so much for all your input on the firefighting info...I guess he's right "he knows" as he says...maybe tonight I will go thru what i've written down and ask you more...Do you know anything about where the firesations are located in NYC? He gave me directions from his station to Mike's..This would be very hard to do. One would first have to know which station to start from and there are so many of them..coming from a three year old it could be just a bunch of lefts and rights but who knows?He picked up his little red whistle this morning and said "this is how I wake the firefighters up if they need to go to a fire..or sleep to long!Then he was laughing...THere are a lot of little funny comments like these that make me laugh but are probably true... He has me laughing too. He had to have been a Lt. or Capt.They have all kinds of tricks to get the late risers out of bed. Bang on lockers, hitting the bedframes with a baseball bat and even bang pots and pans. This last one was a favorite of a Lt. I once had (I took over his position when he retired). While making a loud clanging with the pots he would yell, "Time for all the little chickens to get up". So, if your son tells you things that make you laugh you can pretty much take it as the truth. Also this mornig and the last few days he has said he going to or got a "space appoinment or pointment"(I can tell what his saying cause in his speach c's are t's etc. like typical three year old) anyway after he said that he gets hiss hose or fire extinguisher to spray at it...Does this make any sense...the words anyway...he is getting very upset that i don't know what it is he's saying...Sorry, don't have a clue on this one.Sorry I could ramble for days...thanks again for your help i appreciate it everyone!


Carol


Thanks for helping me out...I did order your book so I will have a little more clarity on this issue...I think from what I can see now he is very protective of his family...He puts on his fire boots and hat everynight before bedtime and comes into my daughters room with his fire flashlight to check my daughter's room for whatever and will say all clear and their both happy and she goes to bed...its interesting though she won't go to bed until he does it but he will only do it if I'm putting them to bed...Carol used the word "vigilant", perfect word. There are many Vigilant Hose Company stations across the U.S. Firefighters are caretakers/protectors. Remember my old Lt. calling us "little chickens", that's because he was the mother hen (LOL).he said it doesn't work when dad's in there? Don't know what that means...I know the answer to this one, it's simple. In your son's life who is the big boss (or Chief) of the house? Dad is. Now the rule in the Fire Service is; the most senior officer on the scene is in charge.


So when dad is not around he is in charge, get it? He picks out his books to read at night and the last few nights hes been getting his firefighter books(which he hasn't in a while) but there is a cartoon picture of a training tower and a skyscraper with a cartoon fire truck with a long ladder...anyway he said he likes the smaller building s not the high one because he's scared it will fall on his head...this is the first time he's ever said anything like that...I told him he is here now and safe with me and he said"I know" and told me to stop talking and read the book...that is the first time I've ever heard him say anything about feelings associated with firefighting. It is usually factual like what i'd ask Jeff about...You were privy to something rather rare. Firefighters seldom open themselves on a deep level to others. They learn very early on the job to stiffle their feelings. They see many nasty things. Some will cover in some way with "black humor" and the like.


On the call you don't have time to feel, you just do , get the job done. The moment didn't last long did it and then he told you to, "stop talking and read the book". It was right then that he closed himself down again. He must love you very much to have shared with you in that way no matter the short duration. He is basically telling me he knows about past lifes by telling me when you die you pick a belly to come too...he has also said next time he's a baby he won't be scared to go on our boat(when his was smaller he didn't like to go fast on our boat)...Firefighters are not fearless, but they learn to face fear head on.there are lots of examples like that...does that commonly happen with these children in your research?Thanks ! Hope all this gives you some helpful insights into the heart and mind of a firefighter, I bet he was one of the best they had.


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Once again for Baby rn. (Maybe I was a poet in a pastlife, LOL)


More technical info for you to sort thru...he said in the bucket you don't spray the hoses you engage levers...In years past when they used ladder-trucks the hose was brought up the ladder. Now, with the advent of bucket-trucks there is a pre-piped waterway to the bucket and the ladder-pipe (or master-stream) is turns on by turning a wheel or moving a lever. So, you don't stand there in the bucket with a hoseline in your hand (though you can at times) but rather operate the nozzles built into the bucket system.


he said when he rescues animals he scubas off the boat...we swim a lot where we live but its funny his swimming without flippers is completely different than swimming with flippers! With flippers,he always goes in the pool backwards, cruises fast, rescues his animals and is actually able to dive from swimming position to the bottom of the pool. Take into account he learned to swim 4 months ago...He has lots of animal rescue toys and rescue boats and one of the sets came with ...he calls it a motor(looks like a torpedo with handles to me and is about4 inches long)he says its like his real one but this is how you use it...he goes under water and swims really fast with this thing in front of him...(don't know if that's scuba or rescue related.This devise is just what he says it is, a motor, divers have been using them for many years. It pulls divers through the water at a pretty good speed, which is it's main purpose, two get them from point A to point B in the shortest amount of time. In Fire/Rescue time can be a very big enemy.


He has said his friend Mike is on a different truck and he rides with the old guys...He said that he(my son) rides with the young guys and shows them what to do.. Very insightful, there is something known as "Country-clubbing". Older firefighter are sometimes moved the less active stations in large city (or busy departments) because when you get older you become more brittle and tire easier. I know this for a fact (LOL). When I joined the department in Westport, CT. in 1976 we did around 300 calls a year. When I left in 2003 we were doing nearly 4000. This is done to a lesser extent with officers because there are less positions for them at stations. As I said, your son was most likely a Capt. or Lt. which puts him in a supervising capacity.


Here is where I said he waivers(to clarify) he always says his truck says a 3 or 33 or both...thats why I was wondering if he could have been on a ladder and a rescue truck? every once in a while he will say 343 so I don't know what is what...He always uses 3 or 4 . He could be right on all counts. During a firefighters career they will be on many different vehicles, trucks, ladders or rescues all with different numbers. Some vehicles are stationed alone while other stations may have two or more vehicles (such as Engine 43, Truck 3 or Rescue 3 and Truck 33). The station nearest the WTC ( so close it was destroyed) was known as Ten-Ten House. Why, because it held Truck #10 and Engine #10.


Another thing he has said that I thought was funny was one day he was standing in his bed(toddler bed) after he woke up in the morning and said "welcome to my fire truck! Can i give you a tour?We just got this new truck for christmas...our firehouse is so much fun . I think you'll like it!" LOL, PR and Public Education, a big part of Station life. Giving tours, letting the kids try on boots and helmets or ringing the bells. Sounds like he was good at that too.


I have asked him about names but he always stops talking ,looks at me, laughs and says what?never an answer...So I asked about nicknames and told him mine at work so he would understand what a nickname was...he thought this was hysterical and was laughing so hard he got the hiccups and then said, "i don't do names!" Once again, if he was an officer he would not "do nicknames". Nicknames are for the "grunts". It would not be very professional for a firefighter to be calling a Fire-officer "pigpen" or "horse butt" in public would it. Would you care to share what your nickname is that cracked him up so bad? Must be a good one, LOL.


He was at the park with my daughter and I and I was pushing them on a toy that was hot on my hands and i said "that's hot' He runs over with his water cup and says"this isn't my job but I like you so i'll do it...He put the cup on my hand and told me to let him know when it felt better...he said it said BBFD or BBD on it? (This may be something that EMS uses for burns. Check with a local Ambulance crew, they might know).


He still doesn't know his letters so thats what it sounded like...if you ask him what those letters look like he woldn't know that's why I thought it was interesting that he said it..Sorry again for such a lengthy post...My husband is scared to death of this whole thing so i just don't say anything anymore and there are a lot of people that I think are skeptical so this is the first place i feel ok to vent or talk however you want to look at it. OK Baby, now something for you and your husband. Education can cancel out a lot of fear. Go to my profile and send me an email or message with your name and mailing address so I can send you a copy of my book. You and your husband can read it and then save it for your son when he is older.


Best, Jeff


PS: Something I just thought of for you to try. Stand behind your son and say, "Hey Cap" and see if he turns around. Don't yell but just use a normal speaking voice. You can do the same at another time saying, "Hey Lou" and check his reaction. Lou and Cap are just short for Lieutenant and Captain and if he was an officer he would have been called by these names many, many times through his career.
 
baby rn,


I think that more of his memories are coming up--possibly the emotions associated with the past are surfacing now, too. See if he seems upset, frustrated, sad, or angry when he talks about the buildings now. If he does, it might be helpful if you could help him sort out his feelings: allow him to express them, first of all, then reassure him that he did all he could in the past, and that the firefighters were very brave, etc. I may have said this before, but he might even feel guilty about not having been able to rescue those people.


Having said that, he may not express any feelings about the event, but just need to know the facts, and work through it that way. (By the way, almost all of the 9-11 terrorists were from Saudi Arabia. I don't believe there was a single Iraqui amongst them. Important for us to remember in this age of disinformation.) Just let him talk, like you did, if you feel that's what he needs. Use your judgment in the moment with all of this. And don't be afraid to let him know that you believe he was there and what he is saying is true. He also needs to know that.


I have a feeling that he might be working through this now that he knows he has someone who will listen.


PLEASE keep us posted.


This post and discussion is continued in the thread 9/11 baby
 
Carol


I think last night might have been the first glimpse of emotion having to do with my son's past life death(if that's how you put it) My husband and son were wrestling and playing in the living room like they always do...my son was hiding his treasure or something like that under a blanket. My husband took the blanket and put it over my sons head and wrapped him up in it and my son absolutely freaked out and started screaming and ran into the other room...keep in mind he was under the blanket for maybe 5 sec...my husband looked at me and said what's that all about because that is unusual behavior for my son (he pretty rough and tumble kid).


Anyway,I went into the room and asked him what was wrong and he was still crying and said "it was so heavy on my head and I couldn't get out!" But i said, your ok, your out and daddy was just playing.He was so shaken up and the look in his eyes was pure fear...it freaked me out...then suddenly he ran out of the room and started playing with his dad again as if nothing happened...without the blanket of course. i think he might of had a memory about what he had said earlier about the building falling on his head...do you think?Another question...this may seem weird but for some reason this one website seems to keep popping up on my computer and playing a song...it's a 9/11 memorial slide show and plays the song Abraham, MArtin and John(i think thats the name).


But at weird times its on...I came in the office one morning at 4 am cause I couldn't sleep and the computer screen was turned off but I heard this song coming from the computer so I turned on the screen and here was this slide show...i had never seen it before and my husband said he didn't have it on there and my son doesn't know how to use the computer...this has happened three times now. I looked for this memorial for hours after the first time it happened and couldn't find it anywhere...so when it came on again I wrote down the website...www.weshallneverforget.org...don't know why its happening...


Oh yea I just remembered something he said yesterday...he said"mommy I'm a really good scuba diver" I said,"I'm sure you are" He said" No you don't know...I'm REALLY good at it" Then he preceeded to tell me how I taght him how to catch sharks and tag them...he said i looked different then and then laughed! I don't know what that means but it was in the same type of tone as I get the firefighting info...


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Sorry I've been away for a while...holidays are hectic at my house as they are at everyone else's I'm sure...There is still quite a bit of info I'm sorting thru with the things my son has said...but I thought of Carol the other night when my son said he is scared of big fires and going up high. She has been asking if he has voiced any fears...wel here they come I guess...He was really concerned that we didn't have a plan to get out of the house if there was a fire and that he couldn't reach the 'real" fire extinquisher in his closet to put out a fire...he said how is he supposed to rescue everyone if he can't get out his own door(he has a slider in his room) and can't get the fire extinguisher...he was really upset about it...so my husband made a 'plan" for him and let him listen to what a smoke alarm sounds like so he would be more comfortable and practiced where to go etc...


Then a few minutes later my husband set off the alarm again and told him "ok pretend this is a real fire what do you do?" (thinking he will go do what they just practiced)No not quite...He ran and got his real firehat(a friend gave it to him recently) and began trying to climb on things in his closet to get the real fire extinguisher, then covered his face with his blanket and began yellling to my husband get out and get low...so it was not quite the fire drill we were planning on. i'm just afraid that if he does come across a real fire he might actually try to fight it...scary. He insists he's an excellent firefighter and the other day was standing with his hat on reciting something that sounded like an oath or something...do firefighters say those?


Anyway, I'm not sure how you help him with a fear of fire when he wnats to fight it if it happens? Does that make sense? Thanks to you all for all you help in the past.Its greatly appreciated! I want to ask Kristajohn ,if she is still around, if she could tell me a little more about what her son said about her daughter being back with him. When my daughter was sick last month he kept trying to "fix" her and was very worried because he said he can't do his job without her because she is the doctor he brings his people too...interesting that she says she wants to be a doctor when she grows up!


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He is still talking about it but not as often...little bits here and there...it's a little different now though... I think because he's a little older...A lot came out as he was playing when he was younger... its hard to explain...he will start talking about his medals he has won and bits from that life in that serious tone of voice then he'll stop himself and say"I'm just pretending I think"So its almost as if he realizes that now is now but he's not sure where the other info is coming from(sorry sounds confusing)...he just started again to go into my daughters room every night with his fire hat and flashlight to check before she goes to bed...he hasn't done that in a while either...so it comes and goes...has anyone ever talked about some one actually having habits from a past life? This has happened several times that he will be with his fire hat on and seems to be doing something with his "pretend" tools that he clears his throat several times and says "it's ok i've got work to do here" He told me one day he was repeling from his training tower(he actually has a fire bed with a tent on it and a slide)He tied a rope to the top of his slide and was saying this...anyway he was doing the same thing of clearing his throat...just curious if anyone has heard of a habit or something like that being remembered also. He only does this when he is in that "zone". On another note, he still asks why those bad men knoocked the tall buildings down and why didn't they think about the people in there? There is no answer I've ever given him that he is happy with on this one...


About the scuba diving past life...I think its happy memories...he has been talking about this for quite a while too but I thought it was tied into the fire rescue...I don't think so now...he has talked about how he cleans his boat after diving ...also that he like the deep sea dives where you wear a helmet and boots ,not flippers, and you are attached to a line that they pull you up on when you're done with your dive...anyone know if this makes sense? He dives backwards into our pool with flippers on and can swim the length of the pool with his flippers like a pro...the other day he was swimming and had his head under water with his one hand next to his head coming out of the water like he was holding something... when he was finished I asked what he was holding and he said his snorkel...and then looked at me like I should have known this...The same day he was diving under and kept coming up with his hands grasping something and I asked what was he doing and he said(very serious again) he's retrieving very rare shark eggs...then two minutes later he was back in four year old mode and said I think I'm just pretending though...any way maybe he is just pretending who knows...he's never said anything negative about the scuba diving...he has talked about having large tanks and that his sharks are next to the sea otters and things like that...who knows...


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thanks for all your great input...I'm still working on figuring out what he means by this firefighter comment but sometimes it takes time...he only talks about it when HE wants too...


Carol, this weekend is the first time I clearly saw a fear or phobia expressed by him related to the past life I think...


We were away for the weekend and staying at a hotel and the main part of the hotel was several stories high...maybe 40 or so...on the top it had an American flag...he was obsessed number 1 with the height of the hotel and number 2 the American flag...he said he is scared of those high buildings...I asked what do you mean? He said he's scared of them and that they are not safe and can hurt you and you could fall(this was in his regular kid talk not the zone as I call it).


I asked him if he's scared of the high elevators and he said "no, the high buildings..." Then, he went on to say several times during the weekend that he can't believe someone would go on top of that building and put the American flag up there...He said" That person has to be the bravest person ever to put that flag up there so high!"Luckily, we stayed in the three story suite part of the building to the side of the taller one but he sat on the balcony and stared and said I really don't like high buildings!


So, he is afraid of heights (I think) and for sure any building that looks to him to be too tall...throghout this conversation he said nothing of firefighters or himself as one... just the plain fact that he is scared of tall buildings and the people at the top have to be very brave...I know you were wondering if he showed any emotional issues or phobias related to this and I'm sure this is one...The road we take to get to where we're going is a curvy,steep mountain pass road and he also gets really upset on this road and says its too dangerous and scary and isn't there another way to go??...It's all comiing together now i think...anyone have any ideas about this?


This post and discussion is continued in the thread 9/11 baby
 
Have you tried asking your son directly what scares him about the high buildings? It seems that the high buildings are triggering a fear in him, probably related to his past life experience. If you can get him talking about his fear, you might be able to help him work through it.


It's best to use this direct approach when a child is "in the moment", which he was when he was expressing the fear. But you can also try it when he's relaxed, as I describe in the book.


Let us know if anything else comes up. Don't be afraid to ask him directly about his fear. If he's not open to talking about it, as you already know, he won't. But you can let him know you're willing to listen.


Carol


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