All I Remember is Ice

[1892214]

Hello all,

I'm new here, you can call me R. I know that this forum is primarily for the families of children experiencing past lives, so I apologize if I'm out-of-place. This stuff has been building to the point where I can no longer ignore it, and I need to write it all down.

To start, my entire family believes in reincarnation. Particularly my mother has told me from a young age that she drowned in a previous life, that this is her last life, and that my father and her have "been together before." (Concept of soul groups, which I also believe in.) However growing up it wasn't something I was interested in or wanted to explore.

This changed around late elementary school. I don't remember much from that time but since then I've cataloged a number of emotions and attachments that I truly believe are some sort of past life. I am naturally a very creative person and often think up "original characters," so I've taken care to remove everything that I could have just made up in the narrative of it all. Doesn't leave me with much. Here is a summary:

>I was a young to teenage girl. All I seriously remember is ice, everywhere, it was cold cold cold, stretching for miles. I was wrapped in some heavy clothing. There was something wrong with me, maybe a health issue or relational aspect.
>My best guess for where all of this took place is Siberia. North American ice just feels wrong.
>The biggest part: I had a younger brother. Just a few years younger. I might remember his name. Since very early in all this he's been the core of any PL "memories." He was very kind, quiet, affectionate, but he had something wrong with him too. I loved him more than anyone else and considered myself his protector. Every time I think about him in too much detail I get emotional, getting emotional now actually.
>Appearance wise: paler skin (albino?), blue eyes, brown or grey (?) hair
>Second biggest part: In this life I'm basically the most squeamish person alive and I'm confident this is directly related. Any real-life photos or descriptions of blood/the cardiovascular system made my feet unstable, make me whimper, then I either start to pass out or jerk uncontrollably. I remember a lot of red too.
>I died before he did.

I am terrified of any past life regressions, even self-guided ones, because I believe I died in some sort of extremely violent way and I can't go through that again. However for several years I've brought up past life regression therapy to my mother, who is interested, but wants to wait. I have to get over this. I feel like if I "know" more about this I can stop being so confused and disheartened by it. Also, I'm very skeptical and critical of both professionals and myself on these issues.

If anyone has any suggestions or comments, including death experiences in past life regressions, I would enjoy hearing them. I apologize again for the long post.

 

[Spirit Sword]

Welcome to the forum!

In my experience, your concerns about past life regressions are not unfounded. Most of the ones I have experienced have overwhelmed me with various negative emotions and sent me out of the altered state of consciousness without proper time to resurface. It seems to vary, though. Since opening myself up, I have begun to remember things while I am awake, and some of these have been less terrible or occasionally downright pleasant. Method might also have something to do with it. While I initially did audio regressions, I tried with a therapist once. She was able to keep me emotionally distant enough to handle viewing a violent, emotionally-charged death scene without feeling much at all. I was tensed up the whole time, but actually came out of it feeling much better and certain related anxieties I had carried over into this lifetime immediately began to disappear. So I would not discount the possibility.

On the other hand, delving into past lives can be a little more consuming than it originally appears and can have a large effect on personal identity. If nothing is causing you problems you sincerely need solved, you might consider letting it be. Particularly if you are younger and do not yet have a solid grasp of who you are in this life.

 

[Kenz1010]

Hi R,
Thanks for sharing your story
I too had and insane irrational fear of blood (not sure if you are still affected by it now), but this affected me when I was younger and I grew out of it.

I did a self guided PL regression about a little over a week ago, it clarified a lot of the things I’ve been experiencing. I think the outcome of the regressions is different for everyone.

I’m not sure of your exact situation or what you’ve been experiencing in this life, regarding your past life. But personally for me, I think confronting these emotions and feelings helped me a lot. Do keep in mind that I haven’t seen the full extent of these memories, and I assume most of them are not the most pleasent. But the little things I did confront seemed to have a positive affect on me (I felt very relieved afterwards, felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders) even though in the moment it was hard and I became emotional.

I wish you luck on your journey!

 

[Sherri Zimmerman]

I've had one brutal death that I haven't seen and one I have seen. I believe the one I haven't seen is because I probably couldn't handle it. The one I DID see I couldn't handle completely either (I was shaking for 3 days) but I was insistent on knowing what my connection was with a particular person so I could make peace with myself and them. It then made perfect sense.

So I do believe that when and if your supposed to know you will. It always helps to know. But I do agree sometimes you need to see how you feel before pushing it.

 

[Ritter]

I believe that 'dealing with it' for real is getting tougher. The modern take on it is not working, clearly. PTSD was not widespread amongst soldiers before the modern era. When it happened at all, the cases were much more severe. I have died in some rather bad ways through my lives. When I think about it, it is either in a detached way or it makes me want revenge. That debt will be collected in full and the accounts will be balanced before this century is over. This is a concrete solution. Weeping in a hug circle does nothing. A better way is to literally force yourself to look at it, until it does not scare or hurt. This is the same way that one conquers phobias. I used to be afraid of heights, so I took a job working very high above ground in my late teens. It worked. Done the same thing often. My father taught me that. In many ways a very oldfashioned and wise fellow. He taught me a lot. When other kids got picked on or hit by bigger kids they usually cried. When I saw it, I usually attacked the bigger kids with anything at hand. Sand, rocks, fists, teeth, branches... Once I hit a sixth grader in the head with a shovel. Nobody ever got away with treating me or my friends badly, because I made them bleed every time, even when I got beat up myself. I had to ambush a couple of older kids while they were alone and not in their group, one time. They all bled and cried. They got genuinely scared and stopped being a-holes. The teachers even told them it was their own damned fault. That would not fly today. I would have been expelled. But it is always best to deal with crap head on.

 

[Sherri Zimmerman]

I still struggle with my phobias and having D.I.D.(Dissociative Identity Disorder the new term for Multiple Personality... makes it more difficult.

Two are my phobias are creepy crawling bugs ( saw a barbaric lifetime with this issue), and another is getting lost on the road. I don't take car trips any further than two or three towns away. Crazy right!!

I have the MTHFR gene birth defect as well... one part of the body it effects is the frontal lobe of the brain, it also effects many other parts of the body.

I've spent half of my life in and out of mental hospitals or crisis centers.

But I remember clearly choosing this lifetime to help those so called mentally ill so I chose a horrific domestviolent home to witness madness. Fortunately the violence was only between my parents.

I am an author of two mental health books. I also have worked and owned barbershop businesses for 20 years and a nurses aid for 23 years.

I believe I chose multiple personality to not only pay off karma but to excelerate my soul growth.

Anyone have any more insight??