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Am I Actually Outgoing

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GalaxyDreamer90

Senior Member
Due to having a severe phobia from a traumatic event when I was about 10 years old I am usually shy and quiet around other people out of fear that they will hurt my feelings. However, there seems to be a part of me that desperately wants friends. My counselor even says that under all the fear that I have I could actually be a more extroverted person. I suppose I could try to be more outgoing and talk to people more despite my phobia to see if I really am outgoing. If that's the case then should I get over this phobia that keeps me from interacting much with other people. I have tried just about everything to get rid of this phobia and nothing has worked yet. I'm seriously thinking that the only way to get rid of this phobia is through hypnotherapy since I haven't tried that yet. But before I try and get rid of this phobia I need to know for sure rather or not it's a part of who I am.
 
GalaxyDreamer90 said:
Due to having a severe phobia from a traumatic event when I was about 10 years old I am usually shy and quiet around other people out of fear that they will hurt my feelings. However, there seems to be a part of me that desperately wants friends. My counselor even says that under all the fear that I have I could actually be a more extroverted person. I suppose I could try to be more outgoing and talk to people more despite my phobia to see if I really am outgoing. If that's the case then should I get over this phobia that keeps me from interacting much with other people. I have tried just about everything to get rid of this phobia and nothing has worked yet. I'm seriously thinking that the only way to get rid of this phobia is through hypnotherapy since I haven't tried that yet. But before I try and get rid of this phobia I need to know for sure rather or not it's a part of who I am.
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I’ve always been more of an “introvert”, but that’s more because I’m not really interested in interacting with others (because I don’t really care as horrible as that sounds, and I view many of the people my age as being insanely immature). I’m not anxious to speak with others, and when someone talks to me I’m more than happy to join the conversation, it’s more so that I’m just not interested to seek out people to talk to, if that makes sense. I do like talking to people if the conversation is meaningful (I dislike small talk, but others seem to like it A LOT hahah) I do have a couple of super close friends that I hang out with, but I always find myself having to remove myself from social gatherings and situations because I feel drained and need to recharge.

My situation sounds a bit different than yours, but if I were you, I think I’d try out talking to some people you think might share the same interests as you and see how it turns out. What’s the worst that could happen? If someone doesn’t like you, in my opinion that’s their problem, not yours. And that’s actually a benefit for you, because you just checked someone off the list who isn’t worth your time and energy. And if it doesn’t work out, at least you gave it a try :) I think it’s better to be patient and wait for the right people to come into your life, than to rush into a friendship that isn’t worth it.
 
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I seem to actually want to make friends but I often find my phobia gets in the way. That's probably why my counselor says I'm really more of an extrovert under all the fear I have.
 
GalaxyDreamer90 said:
I seem to actually want to make friends but I often find my phobia gets in the way. That's probably why my counselor says I'm really more of an extrovert under all the fear I have.
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I really don’t think it matters if you’re introverted or extroverted. I think what actually matters is that your fear/ phobia is holding you back from making connections with people. I think you just need to take baby steps and work at your own pace, you’ll get to where you want to be in time.
 
Should I try and get over this phobia then since its keeping me from making friends and cope in this world. Everyone else says to get over it but I'm not so sure.
 
GalaxyDreamer90 said:
Should I try and get over this phobia then since its keeping me from making friends and cope in this world. Everyone else says to get over it but I'm not so sure.
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I’m sure lots of people say to just get over certain fears/ phobias, when in reality it’s not that easy. I think you just need to work at your own pace and do what you think is right. If you’re not ready to speak to others that’s totally fine, and if you are ready, that’s fine as well.
 
Maybe I should take my time, I dont know. Since I've had this phobia for so long it feels like a part of who I am, but I'm not so sure.
 
GalaxyDreamer90 said:
Yeah its really embarrassing since I'm most likely the only one with it.
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Don’t be embarrassed by it, I’m sure other people out there have the same phobia. And if someone judges you for it, that’s their problem, not yours. And as I said before, it’s for your benefit so you know not to waste your time with that person.
 
I am an unrepentant introvert and like Kenz1010 I have a similar view about people in my age group being immature. This world being what it is you are not alone but my advice is to make careful choices about who you try to make friends with as most extroverts collect "friends" like hoarders do cats when all they are is just acquaintances.
 
There and back again said:
I am an unrepentant introvert and like Kenz1010 I have a similar view about people in my age group being immature. This world being what it is you are not alone but my advice is to make careful choices about who you try to make friends with as most extroverts collect "friends" like hoarders do cats when all they are is just acquaintances.
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I love your analogy hahaha
 
Introvert here, too. I escape into books, meditation, go to the gym or the range or go on short fishing trips to recharge. Being a father, I do not have the volumes of spare time that I used to. But I manage. Haven't done an overnight in the forest for a long time, years now. I need to go out on an adventure this spring, before the mosquitoes come. Catch some nice salmon or take down some game. To just breathe a bit and watch a couple of mountain sunsets. I feel much more at home in the deep wilds of Scandinavia than I do in society. My wife thinks I am a displaced bear.
 
Ritter said:
Introvert here, too. I escape into books, meditation, go to the gym or the range or go on short fishing trips to recharge. Being a father, I do not have the volumes of spare time that I used to. But I manage. Haven't done an overnight in the forest for a long time, years now. I need to go out on an adventure this spring, before the mosquitoes come. Catch some nice salmon or take down some game. To just breathe a bit and watch a couple of mountain sunsets. I feel much more at home in the deep wilds of Scandinavia than I do in society. My wife thinks I am a displaced bear.
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My dad can definitely relate. He’s absolutely obsessed with fly fishing and hunting, he’s always been an outdoorsman. He leave’s by himself for weeks during September to hunt for bull elk with his bow, it’s a good time for him to clear his head I think. I’ve actually gone hunting with him a couple of times, quite an interesting time.
 
I agree there's something nice about the outdoors and I dont seem to spend enough time just being outside enjoying nature. Perhaps come spring I'll spend more time outside. I find it really calming to just go for a long walk outside.
 
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