• Thank you to Carol and Steve Bowman, the forum owners, for our new upgrade!

At War With Oneself

lonewolf

lonewolf

Senior Registered
Related to the many threads on depression:

I'm sure feelings of self-loathing often have PL sources (along with present-life sources). What are they?

Deep down, I don't like being me. Objectively, I know I have not much to complain of in this life. I've had it easy compared to many people. Yet I don't like my appearance, my name, and definitely not my abrasive personality--as if my soul resents being in this incarnation.

Thus I feel at war with myself, as if my soul and my personality--both extremely strong--are of incompatible natures; as if my conscious and unconscious are constantly battling for supremacy.

Sorry for the morbid self-absorbtion--that's another aspect of my personality that I don't like ;)

Have others had similar feelings, and is there a PL angle to them?

Thanks.

Lonewolf
 
Hiya Lonewolf,


I am probably one of the few people who will take an opposing view on this. I’ve studied psychology for a long time – and I’ve had pl experiences since childhood. A combination, which has given me a very strong view on this subject.


I think that to associate mental illness with those who have past life experiences - only sets back the believability factor with the skeptics and the communities who are looking for reasons to debunk it.


I personally do not believe that mental illness is rooted in a past life. I think that it is an entirely different entity and that most mental illnesses have to do with current life trauma and/or brain chemistry. I think that people who are quick to label their mental illness as being caused by a past life – are not doing themselves any favors. They are not dealing with the issue by avoiding it. It is quite possible that they need professional help to manage their illness. It is my personal belief that one should always consult a mental health practitioner prior to looking for other sources.


I think there are many causes of depression – from the foods we eat (too many additives, hormones, pesticides etc.), to chemical imbalances of the brain. If a psychologist or psychiatrist is unable to find a cause - your general practitioner may find something that is the cause of your "illness." It could be as something as simple - as an allergy to an additive that is completely altering your mood and changing your behavior.

I'm sure feelings of self-loathing often have PL sources (along with present-life sources).
Click to expand...
I believe it’s all in how you choose to approach your past life memories. There is no reason to feel depressed because you had a bad life – or feel ashamed because you treated others less than stellar in a pl. The fact is – it is a past life – and the past is not the present. We are the same soul – but we are not the same person now as we were. Our focus should be – on what lessons we learned from those lives and how we can apply them positively to our present lives to create better in the NOW.

Yet I don't like my appearance, my name, and definitely not my abrasive personality--as if my soul resents being in this incarnation.
Click to expand...
You can change your appearance – change your name – and even change your personality and how you approach and react to others if you are willing to put the time and effort into doing so. ;)


My Grandma always said – “If you don’t like something then change it!”


Remember the law of attraction – what you put out there, you will get back. If you see yourself a certain way – others will, too. If you put out specific thoughts about yourself – that is who you will be to others. You literally become - who you believe yourself to be.


Try changing your thoughts. Find the GOOD POINTS – things you like about yourself and focus on those. Change the negative thinking – to positive thinking. It works ;)


Have you watched The Secret? It’s changed a lot of lives. ;)


Good luck, Lonewolf!


Ailish
 
"Life is suffering", say the Buddhists, Lonewolf. Nobody is happy all the time. Life is difficult sometimes more than others and it is meant to be difficult. Without struggle, how would we learn, grow and progress? Nobody is entitled to a 'free ride' and nobody gets one. Nobody on this planet is completely happy all the time (perhaps with the exception of a few "masters"). We all suffer. Some suffer more. Some suffer less. Some are better at hiding their suffering than others.


The Buddhists believe we can choose how much we suffer by adjusting our attitudes and not worrying about external events and circumstances, which are all in the form of illusion anyway or at least can be seen as tests, and I tend to agree with them.


If you are finding it very difficult and you are having symptoms of depression - ie feeling sad and horrible - it is a time to seek help. It is good to reach out here. It is also good to seek assistance from wise friends, from professionals, from reading, meditation and inward soul searching, deliberately cultivating more positive thought patterns and healthier actions - any or all of these approaches will help. Slowly and gradually the grey clouds will begin to lift.


I don't think depression is particularly related to reincarnation in any direct way, except that they are both a natural part of life. As Ailish said there are many direct causes in our modern lifestyle which have seen an explosion in the diagnosis of depression in recent times. Fixing up general health issues, getting some exercise and some sun, eating properly, drinking less and finding something to do to help others in some way (such as volunteer work, or even just phoning up someone who you suspect is a bit lonely) can always give you a boost.


However, if you are feeling in some way guilty or sad about some past life misdeeds, the road towards happiness lies through forgiveness and atonement, not self-flagellation, guilt and sadness. If this feeling of self-loathing is some kind of past life baggage, make it your mission in this life to overcome it, make amends for any misdeeds and learn another way of living. You don't want to go through all this again next life do you?


You might start by seeing yourself as 'whole' - not made up of separate parts - conscious, sub-conscious, different lives, heart, brain, mind, body etc. Try meditating on getting in touch with that part of you which is timeless and eternal and not divided, does not suffer from troublesome emotions and is not perturbed by the adventures your body gets up to on earth. I find that very calming when I am a bit overwrought about something (which happens often enough!). I find the image of a large tree with many branches is sometimes helpful. Sometimes I envisage solar-systems within solar systems within atoms, etc. It helps to put my little problems into perspective.


http://dingo.care2.com/cards/flash/5409/galaxy.swf :)


I also recommend reading HH The Dalai Lama's "The Art of Happiness". I read it some years ago and it made a big difference to my outlook.
 
Thanks so much, Ailish and Tanguerra. I agree that depression does not necessarily have a PL source--perhaps it almost always has present-life source, whether in upbringing or chemical wiring.


I am skeptical of therapy and medication, because in my case I've been to many therapists over the past 20 years and have learned practically nothing from any of them. They're just people to talk to. As for medication, I tried that and it nearly killed me. I'll never take an antidepressant again.


All of which is not to discourage others from therapy or medication. I'm sure they help most people.


Yes, Tanguerra, life is about suffering. Thirteen years ago I watched my brother die slowly, in excruciating pain, from complications resulting from AIDS at age thirty. He used to say, all he wanted was more time. He didn't get it; but he lived and died with great courage. There's no right or wrong to it, I believe--no vengeful God, no karmic punishment--it just is. Life is a unity, intensely simple, yet intensely complicated. It is both tragedy and comedy. I suppose that sense of unity is one of the things that interested me in reincarnation and PL regression. Past, present, future--none of them really exist except in the human imagination, after all--and what, then, is death?


Lonewolf
 
I am very sorry to hear about your brother LoneWolf. That must have been very difficult and very sad for you.


But, terrible, tragic things happen in life. They happen all the time. They happen to people we love. They happen to strangers. They happen. I have certainly had my share of tragedy, death and disaster, and that's not just counting this life.


We can use the terrible things that happen as an excuse to shut down or not, however. The trick is not to worry about the events which occur, but how you are going to respond to them. There are always reasons to be miserable and reasons to be cheerful. It's a matter or perception and it's up to you to make the decision. You are in charge of these matters. No doctor can 'fix' that for you.


Wonderful, amazing things also happen all the time. Your brother, for instance, will be back, without any shadow of a doubt. You will most probably see him again if you wish it. He is probably already back. Have you met any interesting children recently?


Death is not a tragedy. Death is just one of those things that happens. It is a temporary separation from our loved ones, a brief respite in our own long and often arduous journeys. You can't beat it, you can't fight it, so why waste precious time and energy worrying about it?
 
Lonewolf thanks for posting. The advice you've gotten is wise and thoughtful. I think everyone who reads it will gather from it.


Thanks to Aili and Tanguerra... soulfully wise beings.


peace, tinkerman
 
Lonewolf,


I am very, very sorry to hear about your brother. AIDS is a horrible disease, and I know how terribly difficult it is to watch a loved one suffer from it. I have many good friends – who have lost a loved one to it. I have many friends – who are both HIV positive and have full-blown AIDS. I work with other friends – to raise money for the AIDS hospice here in my town. I have another friend – whom we helped to raise money to travel and help the AIDS orphans in Africa. It is a disease that has touched – and changed – so many lives.


I know that when you are hurting and missing someone – words are not comforting. But think of this – think of how blessed your brother was to have you by his side – when he needed you the most. No matter how difficult it was for you – think of how much strength, love and peace you gave him – just by being there. Compassion and unconditional love are the two most amazing gifts to give someone.


There are a lot more people out there, Lonewolf, who don’t have anyone. Is it possible that you could find a way to reach out – to help those other people in some small way? Perhaps volunteer your time at a hospice? Or read to children in the hospital. Or raise money for research? Small acts of kindness and compassion – heal our hearts and help us to move forward. ;)


When my Grandma died – I missed her like crazy, but I was so happy that her suffering was brief. I knew she’d be back again some day – as will your brother.


Blessings to you,


Ailish
 
Another perspective...


Greetings all,


Before I respond to this post I want to confess that this is the first time I have posted on this board. I have been lurking here for months and have read many of the posts, but haven't yet decided whether this is the "place" for me. I promise to post an introduction soon... but I felt so strongly about this topic that I want to jump in now while I have the chance (as a working mom with 2 young kids I have precious little time to spend doing fun things on the computer). So, I ask your forgiveness in leaping in to this discussion. :)


I wish to offer a different perspective on Lonewolf's feelings of being "at war with oneself."

I think that to associate mental illness with those who have past life experiences - only sets back the believability factor with the skeptics and the communities who are looking for reasons to debunk it.
Click to expand...
This very well may be true. However, to the extent that present-life challenges are rooted in past lives/karma, I believe we are doing ourselves a disservice in denying this in an attempt to placate the skeptics. Anyone who remains a skeptic after reading Dr. Stevenson's work is not going to be convinced by anything, and IMHO, those of us who know reincarnation is a fact should not dismiss the therapeutic value of considering past-life roots of the problem. :) I would also like to suggest that perhaps the term "mental illness" may be too strong for the feelings that Lonewolf describes.

I personally do not believe that mental illness is rooted in a past life. I think that it is an entirely different entity and that most mental illnesses have to do with current life trauma and/or brain chemistry. I think that people who are quick to label their mental illness as being caused by a past life – are not doing themselves any favors. They are not dealing with the issue by avoiding it. It is quite possible that they need professional help to manage their illness. It is my personal belief that one should always consult a mental health practitioner prior to looking for other sources.
Click to expand...
I absolutely agree that one can use PL trauma as an excuse to avoid present life problems or even to justify poor present life decisions. However, Lonewolf has tried counseling and antidepressants and found them to be ineffective. This doesn't sound to me like avoidance. I, too, have had very poor experiences with mainstream psychiatrists. Fortunately I was guided to two kind and loving healers who helped me change my life. Interestingly, these healers did not directly address PL issues, only current life ones. Yet, when those problems were addressed, there was a tremendous release of pent-up energy which, in retrospect, I knew to be centuries old. I now realize that one of the karmic lessons of this life is to regain personal power and not allow others to define me. I am nowhere near perfect in this regard ;) but I do feel that I've made a lot of progress.


I would also like to suggest that perhaps in the spirit world we choose bodies that are prone to depression in order to learn some kind of lesson. In other words, depression may at least occasionally have a karmic component. I think it is at least worth considering. I think it is also possible that in some lives, certain souls and certain bodies don't fit together as well as they could.


I also agree that our focus in this life should be on choosing how to deal with our PL and current life situation, not to wallow in it. But this is a lot easier for some people than others. Lonewolf, perhaps you could try meditating or whatever other method you prefer to access guidance and ask for a healer that's compatible with what you need right now.


Just my humble opinion!


Best regards,


Beth
 
Hello Beth, a warm welcome to the forum! :)


Don't worry about jumping into a discussion right away - there's nothing wrong in it, even though we would of course love to read your introduction and learn more about you later. :thumbsup:


I want to thank you for writing an intelligent and thoughtful post. It's always good to have discussion and hear different opinions. I don't have strong opinions about this topic, but as usual, the truth probably lies somewhere in between - like you suggested.


I'm looking forward to your other posts, but as another working mum, I understand your time online is limited. :)


Karoliina
 
Hi Beth and welcome to the forum, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this and I look forward to reading your introduction.


My thoughts are that many issues can come from pastlifes as well as in the current life. I think that it is important to always look for the root of the problem comming from the current life first and then at the pastlife. I also think sometimes patterns can continue and even if the problem is from the past in this life that maybe it is a theme carried over from the pastlife.


Kind Regards


Kay.
 
Hi Beth,


Welcome to the forum. :)

I would also like to suggest that perhaps the term "mental illness" may be too strong for the feelings that Lonewolf describes.
Click to expand...
Technically – recurrent long term depression is considered a mental illness. And there are many types of depression and depressive disorders, as well as a wide variety of causes.

"A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.
Depressive disorders come in different forms, just as is the case with other illnesses such as heart disease.


A list of the most common root causes of a depressive disorder:

  • Biological - People with depression typically have too little or too much of certain brain chemicals, called "neurotransmitters." Changes in these brain chemicals may cause or contribute to clinical depression.
  • Cognitive - People with negative thinking patterns and low self-esteem are more likely to develop clinical depression.
  • Co-occurrence - Clinical depression is more likely to occur along with certain illnesses, such as heart disease, cancer, Parkinson's disease, diabetes, Alzheimer's disease and hormonal disorders.
  • Medications - Side effects of some medications can bring about depression.
  • Genetic - A family history of depression increases the risk for developing the illness.
  • Situational - Difficult life events, including divorce, financial problems or the death of a loved one can contribute to depression.


In some families, major depression also seems to occur generation after generation. However, it can also occur in people who have no family history of depression. Whether inherited or not, depressive disorder is often associated with changes in brain structures or brain function.


People who have low self-esteem, who consistently view themselves and the world with pessimism or who are readily overwhelmed by stress, are prone to depression. Whether this represents a psychological predisposition or an early form of the illness is not clear."


* National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Raymond DePaulo, MD, Johns Hopkins School of Medicine; Ellen Frank, MD, University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine; Jerrold F. Rosenbaum, MD, Massachusetts General Hospital; Matthew V. Rudorfer, MD.
Click to expand...
I think – that each person is different and it may take a few different approaches and therapists to hit the right combination to help the individual (cognitive or behavioural therapy, nutrition, exercise, medicines....the possibilities are endless) I think it is extremely important to stress the importance of seeing a general physician AND a psychologist/psychiatrist. If something isn't working - keep seeking and trying.

Yet, when those problems were addressed, there was a tremendous release of pent-up energy which, in retrospect, I knew to be centuries old
Click to expand...
Energy is carried within the body, so it only makes sense that if you were doing some sort of body work, negative energies were released. Roger Woolger’s Deep Memory Process is an interesting read ;)


Ailish
 
Hi Beth! Thanks for contributing. I look forward to hearing more of you. Welcome!!
 
Beth, thanks a lot for your thoughtful post, and thanks again to Ailish and Tanguerra for your sympathy and perspective.


As a followup, I should say that I experienced a regression today with Carol - hope she doesn't mind me posting this! - and that it was extremely powerful and insightful. Carol was really brilliant at helping me to find the most important connections between the last life and this. There were no leading questions--I made the discoveries myself--yet she provided the nudges where needed so that I could establish connections I never dreamed existed.


The death of my brother and the grieving in this life, along with the depression, which is wrapped up in feelings of guilt and loneliness, has a definite connection in my previous life as Maggie. I never imagined that so many loose ends could be tied together in one session, or that there could be such a feeling of release and consolation!


I may post on the regression eventually, but I will say I have never been so convinced. I only wish I knew where my soulmate is now . . . but know we'll meet again.


Lonewolf
 
Way to go, Lonewolf!!! :D


It's a phenomenal thing to be able to establish connections and patterns between lifetimes.


I'm glad to hear you had such a great session. Sounds like a lot of healing took place ;) Keep up the good work!


Aili
 
Thank you Lonewolf, for being willing to tell us about your experience with Carol. I know her to be compassionate - right on the money and really really good at what she does. :D


I am thankful -- specifically since you stated clearly at the beginning of this thread the difficulties you were having and how the session with Carol brought such a sense of clarity.


I do hope you will share your experience - but only if you feel comfortable doing so.


Namaste! hug2.gif
 
Hello Beth, Welcome.


Lonewolf, that is so terrific. I am very happy for you. I can't wait to hear the details, once you have had time to digest it and feel ready to share. I hope you will be able to build on this experience and develop ways of dealing with past and present sadness, as well as understanding the depth and complexity of your feelings.


I was actually thinking about your post yesterday evening and relating it to my own experience.


My personality tends to be a bit on the 'depressive' side - although it is not too major and comes and goes a bit. I have learned various coping skills over the years - mainly related to making sure I take good care of my physical health, the more so when feeling a bit low and doing a bit of thought control (as I mentioned above - in terms of trying to see my little worries in a wider context and think deliberately positive and optimistic thoughts rather than just let my thoughts go round and round thinking endlessly about all my 'woes').


As far as soul mates go, I have mentioned my friend X many times before, so won't bore everyone again, but I certainly regard him as my soul mate, although we have not been able to get a 'relationship' working this life, we have always kept in contact - sometimes more frequently than others. I'll never be rid of him! (I hope! :) )


Knowing him has been a source of enormous pain as well as enormous pleasure to me, not just in this life, but over the course of many lives. Sometimes when I think about all the sorrow involved it is easy to give way to melancholy and self-pity.


When that happens, I try to think of all the happiest times we have spent together (not just this life). It helps me to have perspective and realise that life on this plane is an adventure, full of ups and downs. There is always something to be learned. There is always room for growth. The path is always onwards, towards love, even if it sometimes seems like a very wiggly path we might be following.
 
Congratulations!


It looks like you don't need to do any more searching to find the healer you needed to move things along! :laugh:


I'm so happy for you! :thumbsup:


Beth
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top