Anatolia
New Member
I visualize a dark wooden room, nicely made, like a country home, yet close to the city. In the middle of the room there is a comfortable chair with a man in it. The man is a little thick, overweight, with beard. He has a nicely made wool gray suit.. three piece suit and is sitting there..quite sad and worried.. he thinks he will never see this house again. I KNOW he is Jewish, yet i dont see anything culturally relevant. No star of David, no menorahs, no hats or anything that might tell me he is a JEW, yet I KNOW IT. I had a feeling he didnt identify with Judaism as I have been used to seeing in this current life. He is deeply sad he has to escape..or rather he is being forced int o EXILE. I have always known (I had this vision when i was 16 BTW) that this is not Germany. When i hear German I feel fear (now I mean). And I am terrified of Holocaust related stories, and memorabilia. Now that i am older I can, if I pace myself, little by little explore the information. I have always been this way. When I was growing up in Lima, the only thing Jewish was a Cemetery that I grew up near, and Now i remember, I fantasized in going there as a child! (but i was only for Jewish families) This man was a well known scholar in his community. WELL Respected. He is waiting for a shiny black car to take him away.. i dont know where,, yet I now suspect he went to England....where I also have a connection.. I love it.
The reason I am writing this entry is because yesterday I picked up a fiction novel (what a coincidence huh?) about Jewish Survivors of the Holocaust and Was talking about the Jewish Scholars and Politicos in Austria in the 1920 and 1930's. When I saw a list of names, one jumped at me Max Adler who was the third most famous Communist Scholar who was a Jew of those times.... I am not sure if Max was me.. I am not sure yet, I need to do more research. But I found out that those Jewish men from that time WERE NOT very close tot heir Jewish roots, mainly for shame and also because the considered themselves to be free thinkers.. above all that, plus they were Socialists and Communists... sooo. The fact that this man didnt have any Jewish cultural symbols around him, nor he felt... OH MY People being oppressed!! feelings are NOW claer to me why!! Now i Know why he didnt feel that way. He felt so worried and sad, and in pain for the state of affairs and leaving his home.. yes.. but I didnt get he was close to his roots. I DO KNOW He was not sent to a KZ (Concentration Camp). But i have a feeling He did feel the horror of what was to come.
NOw I think The city closes to him was Vienna.. God why do I feel such Repulsion for that name?? No interest whatsoever in going there... Is it possible he hated his city? Or maybe he just lived there.. but didnt considered it His city? Hey ... His house was well OUTSIDE the city and He had the money to afford a City home.. maybe he chose to move out to be away from it?
He didnt have a wife.. or rather she had died before this night. He had a housekeeper a lady who was near tears because of her employer living, I have a feeling they had known each other for decades.
I know the Concentration camps Had not started Yet. Yet I feel Hitler was in Power so this must be after 1933? But It was the begging of the Horrible Era.
I know If i were to go to Vienna or the City, I Know the house is Still standing...
The reason I am writing this entry is because yesterday I picked up a fiction novel (what a coincidence huh?) about Jewish Survivors of the Holocaust and Was talking about the Jewish Scholars and Politicos in Austria in the 1920 and 1930's. When I saw a list of names, one jumped at me Max Adler who was the third most famous Communist Scholar who was a Jew of those times.... I am not sure if Max was me.. I am not sure yet, I need to do more research. But I found out that those Jewish men from that time WERE NOT very close tot heir Jewish roots, mainly for shame and also because the considered themselves to be free thinkers.. above all that, plus they were Socialists and Communists... sooo. The fact that this man didnt have any Jewish cultural symbols around him, nor he felt... OH MY People being oppressed!! feelings are NOW claer to me why!! Now i Know why he didnt feel that way. He felt so worried and sad, and in pain for the state of affairs and leaving his home.. yes.. but I didnt get he was close to his roots. I DO KNOW He was not sent to a KZ (Concentration Camp). But i have a feeling He did feel the horror of what was to come.
NOw I think The city closes to him was Vienna.. God why do I feel such Repulsion for that name?? No interest whatsoever in going there... Is it possible he hated his city? Or maybe he just lived there.. but didnt considered it His city? Hey ... His house was well OUTSIDE the city and He had the money to afford a City home.. maybe he chose to move out to be away from it?
He didnt have a wife.. or rather she had died before this night. He had a housekeeper a lady who was near tears because of her employer living, I have a feeling they had known each other for decades.
I know the Concentration camps Had not started Yet. Yet I feel Hitler was in Power so this must be after 1933? But It was the begging of the Horrible Era.
I know If i were to go to Vienna or the City, I Know the house is Still standing...
.. He looked like a fat Freud LOL.. But nicer looking...not so point nose...beard...somewhat bushy... glasses.. tubby i guess.. but not obese....