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Beginning of a journey

Another Oddity

I have been doing a lot of reading on 17th century Formosa. I have mentioned that I have a number of friends from Taiwan. I have one person who has been my friend for a long time. She has been very important in my life. Well, in my discussions with her I discovered that her ancestors were very prominant in ending the Dutch trading colony in Tainan.

eeee!!!

I knew her family had been there. I didn't realize their role.

Its interesting that she has had such a prominant place in my life. In some sense she saved me. She put me in to my current career. She dragged me kicking and screaming into this career. Insisting that I return to school and earn a Masters degree.

Its as if she were repaying a debt. A feeling I always had, but never understood.

What does this mean?

As I go through this process, I wonder about the meaning of a life or a lifetime. I wonder how all our lives or destinies are so complicated and interwoven.

I never expected to have such close relationships with people from this little nation off the coast of China. Yes, I always had a strong pull toward Formosa, but I am amazed that I know people from there.

I had breakfast with another Taiwanese friend the other morning. We met in the train station before we went to our seperate ways. She was so excited about the idea of writing a novel based on Taiwan (she doesn't know about my pl experience). She has offered her help. She is brilliant and an offer of help means a great deal.. Her family has only been there 100 years.

The dreams are opening up a new world of experiences. I think this path is the right way to go.

I have other things to share, but its time to go to work.
 
Very interesting Mark. More and more information is coming to light, as it has a way of doing. There is nothing unusual about meeting up with the same people again and again. Sometimes it is because of 'unfinished business', lessons to be learned together, love or simple enjoyment of their company. All of our lives are intertwined to a greater and lesser degree really, but some people's more so than others. It does not surprise me in the slightest. I wonder who this woman 'was' in your previous life? It would be interesting if you could pin point it. Obviously she has a connection with you.

It is great you can get help from others with your book. You don't have to tell them it is a past life experience if you don't think they would understand or accept it or it would frighten them in any way. You can just say it is an historical novel, with a love story, set in Formosa a place you have always been interested in. That is also true!
 
Calmness

The research has been interesting. As I have read more and more materials, I can see more clearly the life that Thomas and Min shared and how it ended. I also believe more so now that the things I saw in my dream and imaginings are fairly accurate historically.

I know that the important part is the meaning of the dreams, not the hard facts. But, the research has helped to calm some of my turmoil. I can see Thomas and myself more clearly.

As I progressed another character in the story has come forth, Anne. Anne was Thomas' abandoned wife. This story is, thus far, a tragedy.

As I create a novel around the story of Thomas and Min, I am composing biographical sketches of the characters.

Anne is very confused by Thomas' leaving. She cannot see the turmoil that is inside her husband. It is not simply their relationship that has driven Thomas to sea. It is something much larger. She is in great pain, but she cannot comprehend the place in Thomas that her love cannot reach.

If I am correct in my historic reconstruction Thomas, or his family, originally came from England to Holland with the migration of religious dissenters. Thomas has very deep religious feelings; they are not the same as his family or that of his wife's family. He remains silent on such matters.

Anne is in someway very simple. She has her Reformed faith. She will do as her family and her church dictates. She knows her duty. She is the proverbial “good woman.” She is a very sympathetic character. However she has no empathy with the struggles inside of Thomas. She is loving and kind, but not attuned to Thomas at a very basic level.

Min carries no religious prejudices. She is young and practical. She is also intuitive. She can sense the turmoil and listen to the inner stirrings of Thomas' heart. Wise beyond her years she is probably an "old soul."

The religious struggles have left Thomas without hope or faith. Min provides that hope and a peace.

Great for a novel is that the story is set in the midst of the struggles of kingdoms and empires. There are pirates and heroes, rogues and saints. I really cannot wait to the see the movie.

Check out some of the background its very interesting and ejoyable reading, Tales of Dutch Formosa, http://www.cbs.org.tw/English/TDF/EP1-INT.asp .

I feel better than when I started writing this thread. The research and dialogue has helped me. as are the things I am doing here in my current life to "straighten out." :)

Take care!
 
Excellent work Mark.

Very glad to hear your project is coming along so well and it is giving you so many personal insights as well! This is really what it is all about. I like the sound of Anne. Sounds as though they both had things to learn, as of course, we all do.
 
Later

Probably won't be many posts coming to this thread until after my trip. I am planning it for a little later in the year. Hope to see Japan and South Korea along the way, mix a little business and pleasure.

This is becoming quite an adventure.

Business concerns will now occupy my time. But, I will keep you all informed if any major revelations occur.
 
Mark, I just read your post in its entirety for the very first time. Funny how we bump around here on the forum and pass up great threads like this. So much to read, so little time!!:(

I was taken by the similarity of our two stories. The intense love and yearning for a certain person. How the story began with such emotional intensity. How this desire, this yearning grapples with the current relationships. Even how a brother has managed his life in concert with my own. Funny thing, that of the two lives I recalled in past life therapy...one was a holy-man the other was the most recent, where love was lost...in a different way..but none the less gone and with great emotional distress. I carry that same hopeless sense of loss today and, like you, have been searching to make things right...or at least comprehensible.

You said:

Since the dreams of this past life, I have been in a confused state. The dreams have been in my thoughts constantly. I ponder there meaning. I look for the people.

It may be that I am looking for something beyond this internal conversation. I am looking for God knows what.

I have been very successful in my professional life, especially this last past year. Personal life is a mass of confusion, partly because of these dreams and there meaning which escapes me. Also, because I have a peculiar personality.
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I feel I have been seeking her out. No one else, just his one person. I now believe that I have seen her for most of my life, haunting me in my dreams. Saving me from my nightmares.

So that being said, all other relationships become false. I love, but never at that depth, never with that passion. I long for that passion for life. I long to be reunited with a missing part of me.
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It is a passionate longing for another. Something beyond the physical.

Many people have told me that I seem to be searching for something. Some think I am searching for god. There is an emptiness in me. A place where I am not touched.

Whoever the woman is or whatever she represents, she completes both Thomas and the monk in a way nothing else can seem to do.
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These could be pages out of my own journal. I truly understand your words. I regret not having read them sooner. Thank you for writing about them. Initially I too felt over exposed and vulnerable. But the kindness and understanding of members here have been rewarding. Tanguerra is a perfect example. Such wonderful reflections! Thanks Tanguerra they've helped here too.

The Tinkerman
 
Peeped in through the hole in door...:)

I wish you all the luck on your future journey. This has been a very facinating and inspiring read. Your progress has been amazing.
 
Comprehensible

My most used phrase is "I don't know!"

I have a former student and close friend who wrote recently, she said she hadn't realized how complicated real life is. In school she often would discuss philosophy with me. We both loved Nietzsche. She is very talented. Her writings would frame pictures that truly expressed an understaning of existential despair. I wish I could share these with you. Her works were both insightful and outright funny.

Now she is married and in the working world. She realizes that its much harder outside of school.

We both went through an emotional crisis together. Two different crisis, but we shared with each other at very deep levels. She is one of my "soul-mates." She is a "soul-daughter", 30 years my junior. I miss seeing her everyday. Yes, the kids growup and move away. Its hard.

As we went through our struggles we were always wanting for this life to be comprehensible. It had to make sense to us.

We couldn't find the solutions we sought, so we settled to live with contradictions.

She knows about my dreams. Strangely considering her very conservative religious upbringing, she accepted them. One of the few people who has done so (outside this community).

So, I write to say what? "I don't know!" Since I began writing here I have been able to work through many things. But, there is still so much to do.

Min and Thomas are now part of my life (real or not). I believe that when I resolve their issues, I to will find a release.

I don't think I'll comprehend everything. No, I think I will comprehend one aspect of myself.

That will be a major achievement.

So, to whoever reads this, keep working, keep striving, don't give up, don't give in. Your life is so very, very, very important.
We need you here and (this is true) the world needs you. Your life impacts more people than you will ever realize. You are important.
 
Hi Mark,

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad to hear that you've been able to come to a place of healing through the memories of Min and Thomas.

It may feel like you still have a lot to work through, but acknowledging the memories - goes a long way toward releasing them. ;) Good job!

So, to whoever reads this, keep working, keep striving, don't give up, don't give in. Your life is so very, very, very important. We need you here and (this is true) the world needs you. Your life impacts more people than you will ever realize. You are important.
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Very true -- and very well said. Each life we live is a gift and we need to remember to be thankful for the good and the bad -- it's all a lesson...and life is beautiful. ;)

Aili
 
Very pleased to hear you are still 'working' MarkDP. You have come a very long way already.

Life is a complicated business, you are right. There are not really any definitive 'answers' - there are hints, suggestions, examples and conundrums! That is what makes it so fascinating and educational. The victories and defeats, the strokes of good fortune and the major catastrophes. What fun it all is and how delicious.

Maintaining a sense of wonder along with one's good humour is the best way to sail on through in my opinion.
 
Dutch Connection

We have discussed that once we begin a journey of discovery that doors will open and people will come forward. I have had friends in Taiwan for years. I haven't had a connection with anyone from the Dutch side of the story until recently.

In November I received an email from a Dutch university concerning a project I have worked on for years. The person and I planned to meet at a conference here in the US. Well, to cut this short, we kept missing each other at conference.

That is until the last day, when I sat down for breakfeast. The person was sitting across from me.

Well that doesn't seem too impressive, does it?

However it will open up a research facility that I wouldn't have been able to access in the past.

I may be able to find Thomas or at least understand his life and times in a way that previously I could not.

Its just interesting.
 
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