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DianePF
Guest
Sometimes the memories offer good explanations of present behavior. When my older son was about 5 yrs. old, he developed a very protective stance toward another boy in our neighborhood. This neighbor was a year older, but much smaller in stature, and subject to some bullying. I was rather pleased my son tried to prevent the bullying, but was also surprised because he and this other boy really didn't seem to have much in common. This went on for several years until one day, my son came home from school with yet another tale of protecting his buddy. He also expressed some frustration about not knowing why he had to always be the protector. I remember suggesting that maybe it was time for his friend to stand up for himself instead of relying on my son to fight his battles for him. The next morning, my son woke up and started talking about a strange dream he'd had, describing uniforms and a battle and cannon shots. I asked him if he could describe the uniforms, and he sat down and drew a battle scene, showing me which figure was him and which was his friend. He blurted out... "I ran away when the shell hit; I didn't save him."
We got out the encyclopedia and found the uniforms... Napolenic era. We talked about how perhaps he was feeling that because he didn't 'save' his friend then, that he felt that he always had to 'save' him now.
While the two boys remained friends, my son seemed better able to let his friend begin to take responsibility for himself.
I still have the drawing, and fully believe that these two young men were involved in a battle. During that battle, with cannon balls falling, they scattered for their lives, with one young man going in the wrong direction.
The dream my son had allowed him to see what was driving his overprotective feeling toward this boy in this life, to let go of it enough so that they could each be free to make their decisions in this life.
We got out the encyclopedia and found the uniforms... Napolenic era. We talked about how perhaps he was feeling that because he didn't 'save' his friend then, that he felt that he always had to 'save' him now.
While the two boys remained friends, my son seemed better able to let his friend begin to take responsibility for himself.
I still have the drawing, and fully believe that these two young men were involved in a battle. During that battle, with cannon balls falling, they scattered for their lives, with one young man going in the wrong direction.
The dream my son had allowed him to see what was driving his overprotective feeling toward this boy in this life, to let go of it enough so that they could each be free to make their decisions in this life.