Bugging me...

[SkyeSpitfire]

This plays on my mind often and it bugs me beyond belief. Because I don't want to keep invading Tenguerra's thread about it, I thought I'd create my own and hopefully get some feedback that could provide me with some answers.

I'm speaking of the person I consider my soulmate who has had a significant impact on me and I on him. The connection we have is incomparable with anyone else. We met because I 'sensed' him online as a friend of a friend; when we met up, we immediately got together and it felt unusually natural and quite surreal. I can only describe my time with him as surreal; to this day, I still can't quite get that feeling with anyone else. Over the years, we would get together over and over again because he would continuously leave me. But the connection remains. He has shown himself to be a coward, a liar, a dishonourable cad, easily influenced according to his surroundings - everything I can't stand in a person. Yet there is no doubt in my mind that his soul is extremely noble - what's more, I have no doubt that his soul is connected to mine - the other half, if I had to describe it! Every time we separate and then come back to each other, the same things always resurface - our feelings and our common goals. And yet I don't understand how we can be so alike and yet so different.

But there's no doubt that I feel most alive when he is with me. We have taught each other the very things that the other lacks. Yet things have gone terribly wrong.

Sometimes I do wonder if this is all in my head. But then wouldn't I be denying a reality that is as real as the one I'm in now as I type in this forum? Because these feelings and this knowledge that I can't explain is screaming at me.

If there is a lesson here, I have no idea what it is. Does anyone have any ideas?

 

[tanguerra]

Time will tell Skye. You will work it out. It seems to me that you are already part of the way there.

 

[tanguerra]

 

[firebird]

He has shown himself to be a coward, a liar, a dishonourable cad, easily influenced according to his surroundings - everything I can't stand in a person.

Only you can figure it out. This sounds like someone that I know and even I haven't figured it out.

 

[SkyeSpitfire]

Hmmm ... perhaps I'm in for a long life after all!


I'm not sure where to begin - I've attempted to discuss it with him, I'm sure he knows what I'm talking about. But it's hard to find him most of the time - he's a drifter.

 

[BriarRose]

He sounds almost like the "shadow" aspect of your own soul. We all have one. To meet your "shadow" would be totally surreal! I don't know if it is possible for our "shadow" to be in physical form. Does anyone have opinions about this?

 

[Obie]

Skyespitfire....this is exactly what is happening to me right now! I have a soul mate I'll call him A who keeps leaving me and keeps coming back in my life. I would never accept such behavior from any other man and I would advise women to leave a man such as this. But in his case I feel so good when I'm around him. He's a complete cad of a man - a liar, player, commitment phobe, arrogant, insecure, narcissist. We are so different but so alike in terms of what we want out of life.


I saw a movie when I was in my early 20's about a man like A - a used car salesman styled poolshark. They even look exactly alike. I immediately felt attracted to that main character and I didnt understand why I liked such a sleezy man. Then two psychics told me that I was to meet a soul mate was exactly like the man in the movie personality wise. It was A they described. I finally met A almost 10 years after I met those psychics and he is exactly what they described him to be. I know I was destined to meet A. I still dont know what I am to learn from this relationship or this man. Maybe he is to learn from me but he is so stubborn that he wont ever change his ways.

 

[SkyeSpitfire]

He sounds almost like the "shadow" aspect of your own soul. We all have one. To meet your "shadow" would be totally surreal! I don't know if it is possible for our "shadow" to be in physical form. Does anyone have opinions about this?

Shadow aspect of the soul???? What's that???? I'm intrigued!

Skyespitfire....this is exactly what is happening to me right now! I have a soul mate I'll call him A who keeps leaving me and keeps coming back in my life. I would never accept such behavior from any other man and I would advise women to leave a man such as this. But in his case I feel so good when I'm around him. He's a complete cad of a man - a liar, player, commitment phobe, arrogant, insecure, narcissist. We are so different but so alike in terms of what we want out of life.
I saw a movie when I was in my early 20's about a man like A - a used car salesman styled poolshark. They even look exactly alike. I immediately felt attracted to that main character and I didnt understand why I liked such a sleezy man. Then two psychics told me that I was to meet a soul mate was exactly like the man in the movie personality wise. It was A they described. I finally met A almost 10 years after I met those psychics and he is exactly what they described him to be. I know I was destined to meet A. I still dont know what I am to learn from this relationship or this man. Maybe he is to learn from me but he is so stubborn that he wont ever change his ways.

Wow ... doesn't it make you deeply frustrated? Like with you case, I would never accept this from anyone else, but the connection is just too powerful!

 

[BriarRose]

Carl Jung said that we all have a "shadow side", or a capacity for darkness. We ignore it, or we project it on to other people. Some people manage to integrate it into their self image. I was wondering, since this man is your soul-mate, whether it was possible that you got all the "light" in your character, and he got all the "dark"? You crave each other, and come back together, because the soul longs for what is "missing". Stephen King wrote about something like this idea in "The Dark Half". That was a novel, from Mr. King's imagination, but I wondered if such a phenomena was actually possible. Being "soul mates" doesn't often seem to guarantee a fairy-tale ending, so could this be the reason?

 

[Cryscat]

Just because you have a powerful connection, doesn't mean that you should pursue it. I learned this lesson with an ex of mine. The lesson this time around may to learn to sort out the good connection from the bad one.

 

[SkyeSpitfire]

Carl Jung said that we all have a "shadow side", or a capacity for darkness. We ignore it, or we project it on to other people. Some people manage to integrate it into their self image. I was wondering, since this man is your soul-mate, whether it was possible that you got all the "light" in your character, and he got all the "dark"? You crave each other, and come back together, because the soul longs for what is "missing". Stephen King wrote about something like this idea in "The Dark Half". That was a novel, from Mr. King's imagination, but I wondered if such a phenomena was actually possible. Being "soul mates" doesn't often seem to guarantee a fairy-tale ending, so could this be the reason?

Wow that's amazing .. We always used to talk about how he's the light to my dark. Not that that's to say I'm without my flaws, because I have plenty! It's more like we have the same goal, but we chose different paths to get there.

 

[BriarRose]

"You are the sun, I am the moon, You are the words, I am the tune - Play me." Those are the lyrics to a song Neil Diamond recorded. I always thought it should have been recorded by a woman. Neil Diamond's version was beautiful, but in my world, the moon represents the "sacred feminine", and the woman, the tune, waiting to be played.

 

[Mama2HRB]

I have one of those in my life, Obie ... hmm ... interesting thought ..

 

[Sister Grey]

From Jung’s concept of our shadow side, it’s the part of ourselves we don’t want to admit is there. A typical example might be the devoted family man who espouses family values and loathes immorality and who suddenly has an affair, and no one, most especially himself, can understand how it happened. His shadow isn’t the other woman but rather the part of himself that refused to acknowledge his sexuality and/or wandering eye. If he had acknowledged it he might have been better prepared to side-step the affair. (He gets bonus points for lack of self-awareness, BTW, if when he’s found out he says ’it’s all THE WOMAN’S fault!’) Another stereotypical example is the ‘nice’ girl, who’s very sure of her values, is set on a life path and who hates ‘losers’, and who suddenly falls obsessively in love with a drug-dealing ex-con or whatever local bad boy is handy. Her shadow is the part of her that’s maybe wild and non-conformist, the bad boy is just the means and the excuse to get down and dirty. (She gets bonus points for lack of self-awareness if she can't understand why he doesn't change and become the suitable boyfriend she's always claimed she's wanted.)


Or it could be anything where there’s an ’us’ and ’them’. From small things we condemn in other people but don’t see in ourselves to the country-sized, ‘we’re always right, it’s ’those people’ over there who are the trouble-makers’. Anyway, our shadow side doesn’t exist outside of our psyches, except in the sense that we project it on to others.

 

[BriarRose]

I understand the concept of projection. G*d knows that I have been guilty of doing it. One of my "chores" for this life was learning not to "demonize" people who don't agree with me, in a political or religious sense. I'm still working on it, but awareness has helped with my progress. I know what science considers "true", and I know what is "rational". I just accept the possibility that esoteric and spiritual matters have things beyond our understanding. I have never suffered from bad "soul mate" relationships, but some people do. How to explain it? I really don't know, but I do know that we live in a time where the landscape of scientific thought is always shifting, and there aren't many "absolutes truths". The boundaries between physics and the spiritual are becoming more blurred with every new discovery. Just my opinion!