When I was 4 years old I used to tell my mother and grandmother that I was a grown up before I was a child. I told them I used to ride a horse.
As a kid I always had an interest in the American Civil War era. There was always something that pulled me unaturally to that time.
When I was almost 18 I would have a recurring nightmare. I would wake up in the middle of the night scared to death, walking the house in a semi sleep state,groaning and crying. It would take me 10-15 minutes to fully wake up, not really knowing where I was. Ive had the dream a few times as an adult as well...just not with the same frequency or intensity.
If you care to hear it, here it is:
In my dream I come fully to on a battlefield with dead and dying comrades around me. They are wearing dark blue jackets and light blue pants. (Union Army) These are guys I know. There is gunfire and explosions happenning. Its very loud and frightening.
Im pinned to the ground between my torso and mid thigh area. Im hurting really bad there and am trying to get out from whatever is on top of me. There are dead soldiers and dead horses. I assume a horse (or my horse) fell on me and died. There are wounded comrades around me, crying and begging for help.
Behind where we came from are a set of two rolling hills with a sort of valley in between them. On the second hill I can see the US flag and what I assume are high ranking officers on their horses. These are our leaders and I cuss and scream at them and swear I will kill them if I get out of this. I hate them more than the enemy at this point. Of course they cant hear me. They are too far away. I cant make out their faces.
Also going through my head I am thinking that hell has descended on the earth. I remember thinking not the old saying "war is hell"...but was thinking it actually was hell...the real hell. Thats how bad the dream was.
At some point I am able to get out from under whats crushing me and crawl with my arms only since my legs/torso area is hurt. At some point, two guys I know (union soldiers but older and bigger than me, both dark hair and beards) grab me under the arms and run with me away from the front lines. I am in and out of conciousness and am seeing a blur at my feet...grass and ground wizzing past my feet. (I am being carried) They are telling me Ill be alright. I can tell they are running.
Heres what I suspect:
I was a young man and enlisted/was drafted at the very end of the war. This battle was Cold Harbor. I have always been pulled toward that name and what occurred there. It was a horrible experience for the union army...a one sided massacre. I believe I was part of a new idea at that time, mounted rifles. Different than conventional cavalry..these guys are infantry mounted on horses to move quickly where the commander wanted them to go. I have a feeling we were shot up by a foward confederate unit, before we arrived at the actual front line to dismount horses.
I also believe that I recovered and stayed in the army. Something tells me I was posted in possibly Kansas, became an officer and eventually promoted to Captain but was not involved in the Indian Wars, per se. I believe I must have been posted at a peaceful fort.
As a kid I always had an interest in the American Civil War era. There was always something that pulled me unaturally to that time.
When I was almost 18 I would have a recurring nightmare. I would wake up in the middle of the night scared to death, walking the house in a semi sleep state,groaning and crying. It would take me 10-15 minutes to fully wake up, not really knowing where I was. Ive had the dream a few times as an adult as well...just not with the same frequency or intensity.
If you care to hear it, here it is:
In my dream I come fully to on a battlefield with dead and dying comrades around me. They are wearing dark blue jackets and light blue pants. (Union Army) These are guys I know. There is gunfire and explosions happenning. Its very loud and frightening.
Im pinned to the ground between my torso and mid thigh area. Im hurting really bad there and am trying to get out from whatever is on top of me. There are dead soldiers and dead horses. I assume a horse (or my horse) fell on me and died. There are wounded comrades around me, crying and begging for help.
Behind where we came from are a set of two rolling hills with a sort of valley in between them. On the second hill I can see the US flag and what I assume are high ranking officers on their horses. These are our leaders and I cuss and scream at them and swear I will kill them if I get out of this. I hate them more than the enemy at this point. Of course they cant hear me. They are too far away. I cant make out their faces.
Also going through my head I am thinking that hell has descended on the earth. I remember thinking not the old saying "war is hell"...but was thinking it actually was hell...the real hell. Thats how bad the dream was.
At some point I am able to get out from under whats crushing me and crawl with my arms only since my legs/torso area is hurt. At some point, two guys I know (union soldiers but older and bigger than me, both dark hair and beards) grab me under the arms and run with me away from the front lines. I am in and out of conciousness and am seeing a blur at my feet...grass and ground wizzing past my feet. (I am being carried) They are telling me Ill be alright. I can tell they are running.
Heres what I suspect:
I was a young man and enlisted/was drafted at the very end of the war. This battle was Cold Harbor. I have always been pulled toward that name and what occurred there. It was a horrible experience for the union army...a one sided massacre. I believe I was part of a new idea at that time, mounted rifles. Different than conventional cavalry..these guys are infantry mounted on horses to move quickly where the commander wanted them to go. I have a feeling we were shot up by a foward confederate unit, before we arrived at the actual front line to dismount horses.
I also believe that I recovered and stayed in the army. Something tells me I was posted in possibly Kansas, became an officer and eventually promoted to Captain but was not involved in the Indian Wars, per se. I believe I must have been posted at a peaceful fort.