Different kinds of memories

[Rukeli]

In talking with someone who also has a PL recently, I had a very interesting thought, and I would like to get other people's opinions on it maybe. Does anyone else have memories of dreams or nightmares from their PL? There is this memory I have been having for about a year, and trying to piece together what it could possibly be. I know it is from my WWII life, and it is oddly detailed, though it doesn't seem to make much sense to me, and yet... it has persisted.

In WWII, I was in at least one camp for some time, and I have memories of this. Some just quick, visceral flashes and physical sensations, some in much more vivid detail. This one has been bothering me ever since it came back because it doesn't quite seem to fit in to what would have been going on. It's not so much what is going on with me in the memory that bothers me, it seems pretty standard to something that would be going on in the medical block or some kind of experimental thing, it is the fact that while this is going on, my partner is in the next room, and I can see him through a window in the wall, and he is banging on the glass and screaming, while two men in white coats stand there and take notes and don't acknowledge what he is doing at all. (This is just a basic summary of it, if anyone is curious I am not unwilling to talk about it in more detail.)

So, what does this mean? I keep thinking to myself, this couldn't possibly be accurate, for a number of reasons. One would think that if he were there, banging on the glass and screaming about what was being done, someone would maybe have... noticed, or said something, or worse, yeah? Especially considering that I was a prisoner, and he was not, and we're both men. Surely someone would think this was a little unusual.

One thing I remember from back then is that I didn't sleep very much, and when I did I had horrible nightmares. I know that towards the end, I was not well. I was losing my mind and I wasn't sleeping and I was sort of... self destructing, past a point. I was talking about this recently, and how it bothers me because it doesn't make any sense, and yet it persists. It doesn't make any sense, unless it's a memory of a nightmare. I had chronic, recurring nightmares back then, and I do now. If in this life, I can still remember a nightmare I had 15 years ago vividly, I don't see why I couldn't remember a nightmare from my past life. I said this, for the first time, and suddenly it made sense. A lot of what people remember, as I have experienced and as I have seen people say repeatedly, is your day to day life... not always necessarily the big events. One of the most solidly confirmed memories I have is about a particular chair in the house I lived in that my partner also remembers... neither of us even liked it, we thought it was ugly. But we both remembered this ugly, brown chair, and where it was, and accidentally walking into it all the time because it was poorly placed.

I feel slightly dumb that it took me a year to realize it would be feasible to remember nightmares, especially if they were recurring. If you have a recurring set of nightmares constantly, that rather becomes a part of your day to day life, doesn't it?

 

[Eva1942]

In talking with someone who also has a PL recently, I had a very interesting thought, and I would like to get other people's opinions on it maybe. Does anyone else have memories of dreams or nightmares from their PL?

Yes I do. I was in two Ghettoes and a Camp at the WORST time of the Shoah (Holocaust). One of my dreams (nightmare?) was where I was still looking ‘healthly’ (this from my first ghetto in Theresienstadt) and a woman was running/chasing me around the ghetto with open scissors screaming at me to take her baby. I remember hiding in between some buildings and she ran straight past where I was then I think she was shot.

I woke up frightened, but it also validated for me why I don’t like ANYONE pointing scissors at me open or not.

The others were from before I was denounced involving a hospital but I’d rather not speak of those just yet.

I know it is from my WWII life, and it is oddly detailed, though it doesn't seem to make much sense to me, and yet... it has persisted.

Some of what I remember from the camps and Ghettos do not make sense either, but recently I found validation to the memory of a hidden synagogue in Theresienstadt.

I have learned that when memories are ‘oddly detailed’ that is when you focus on the details. I remembered the hidden Synagogue had a Star Of David on the ceiling, and this is how I found validation recently.

In WWII, I was in at least one camp for some time, and I have memories of this. Some just quick, visceral flashes and physical sensations, some in much more vivid detail. This one has been bothering me ever since it came back because it doesn't quite seem to fit in to what would have been going on. It's not so much what is going on with me in the memory that bothers me, it seems pretty standard to something that would be going on in the medical block or some kind of experimental thing, it is the fact that while this is going on, my partner is in the next room, and I can see him through a window in the wall, and he is banging on the glass and screaming, while two men in white coats stand there and take notes and don't acknowledge what he is doing at all. (This is just a basic summary of it, if anyone is curious I am not unwilling to talk about it in more detail.)

Being honest, I am not to good with the medical side of things, but what I do remember was playing music in the Women’s Orchestra while people were being sent to the gas chambers. As soon as they shut the door, we could hear all sorts of screaming, yelling and banging on the sides of the chamber and also the door.

Medical experiments were rife back then. If you watch the Netflix show “Charité at War” (at your own risk because even a harmless show like this I found triggering because of my hospital memories) in some of the episodes they show testing in part of the hospital as part of the Euthanasia plan to poison malformed or retarded ‘wards of the state’ children. They were often left and observed for their behaviour and if something did go wrong they stood by and watched. So on a similar scale, perhaps they are observing a reaction?

So, what does this mean? I keep thinking to myself, this couldn't possibly be accurate, for a number of reasons. One would think that if he were there, banging on the glass and screaming about what was being done, someone would maybe have... noticed, or said something, or worse, yeah? Especially considering that I was a prisoner, and he was not, and we're both men. Surely someone would think this was a little unusual.

No one would have battered an eye lid. It was a what I presume you’re talking about a Concentration/ Extermination camp, so others would have considered it ‘normal’ happenings in the camp. Whether you were the prisoner or he was would have made little difference.

Well, not unusual at all. Remember a LOT of documents and files were destroyed in the camps and Ghettos so what you remember MAY have been noted in destroyed files. I remember some of the SS guards having a bonfire in Birkenau and destroying papers. I only seem to remember this as it was about the time they blew up the two crematories and I remember seeing out the barrack window — fire. I have long held the impression that the reason why I found so little on myself was because some of my files were destroyed by fire.

It wasn’t just camps and Ghettoes that incurred significant document loss. When I went to look for some files in Prague, I was told that the Germans took over 70 TONNES of paper documents and files with them when they fled. This included ALL hospital records of Germans that were in the hospitals as well. There was also ’Clausewitz’ in Berlin too.

One thing I remember from back then is that I didn't sleep very much, and when I did I had horrible nightmares. I know that towards the end, I was not well. I was losing my mind and I wasn't sleeping and I was sort of... self destructing, past a point.

I didn’t sleep well then either, but I was left for dead in the infirmary (hospital) of the camp left to fend for myself in my dangerously ill state. I was gravely ill with Typhoid fever along with malnourishment and probably a few other things too. When the Russians liberated us, a nurse asked me what I would do now I was free I told her “I have nothing to live for now. Let me die”. I had self destructed too.

I was talking about this recently, and how it bothers me because it doesn't make any sense, and yet it persists.

Most of my memories of what happened in the SOE objective ‘Operation Anthropoid’ don’t match what is written either. So don’t stress about it

....as I have seen people say repeatedly, is your day to day life... not always necessarily the big events.

.... If you have a recurring set of nightmares constantly, that rather becomes a part of your day to day life, doesn't it?

Last thing I promise, as this reply is getting long

Yes it does. In my own experience, my hospital traumas affected me SO MUCH I have this inane fear in this lifetime. I can’t stand anyone from a hospital, mostly doctors and nurses (outside of a hospital setting I’m fine with them) and I can’t stand being in them as a patient. I’ve been a patient a few times and lost my mind. It’s a trauma that I am still working on.

Oy, I’ll stop now and hope some of this has been of use.

Eva x

 

[Jaimie]

In talking with someone who also has a PL recently, I had a very interesting thought, and I would like to get other people's opinions on it maybe. Does anyone else have memories of dreams or nightmares from their PL? There is this memory I have been having for about a year, and trying to piece together what it could possibly be. I know it is from my WWII life, and it is oddly detailed, though it doesn't seem to make much sense to me, and yet... it has persisted.

In WWII, I was in at least one camp for some time, and I have memories of this. Some just quick, visceral flashes and physical sensations, some in much more vivid detail. This one has been bothering me ever since it came back because it doesn't quite seem to fit in to what would have been going on. It's not so much what is going on with me in the memory that bothers me, it seems pretty standard to something that would be going on in the medical block or some kind of experimental thing, it is the fact that while this is going on, my partner is in the next room, and I can see him through a window in the wall, and he is banging on the glass and screaming, while two men in white coats stand there and take notes and don't acknowledge what he is doing at all. (This is just a basic summary of it, if anyone is curious I am not unwilling to talk about it in more detail.)

So, what does this mean? I keep thinking to myself, this couldn't possibly be accurate, for a number of reasons. One would think that if he were there, banging on the glass and screaming about what was being done, someone would maybe have... noticed, or said something, or worse, yeah? Especially considering that I was a prisoner, and he was not, and we're both men. Surely someone would think this was a little unusual.

One thing I remember from back then is that I didn't sleep very much, and when I did I had horrible nightmares. I know that towards the end, I was not well. I was losing my mind and I wasn't sleeping and I was sort of... self destructing, past a point. I was talking about this recently, and how it bothers me because it doesn't make any sense, and yet it persists. It doesn't make any sense, unless it's a memory of a nightmare. I had chronic, recurring nightmares back then, and I do now. If in this life, I can still remember a nightmare I had 15 years ago vividly, I don't see why I couldn't remember a nightmare from my past life. I said this, for the first time, and suddenly it made sense. A lot of what people remember, as I have experienced and as I have seen people say repeatedly, is your day to day life... not always necessarily the big events. One of the most solidly confirmed memories I have is about a particular chair in the house I lived in that my partner also remembers... neither of us even liked it, we thought it was ugly. But we both remembered this ugly, brown chair, and where it was, and accidentally walking into it all the time because it was poorly placed.

I feel slightly dumb that it took me a year to realize it would be feasible to remember nightmares, especially if they were recurring. If you have a recurring set of nightmares constantly, that rather becomes a part of your day to day life, doesn't it?

Hi, thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you had to go through such horrible times.

No, I do not remember any of my past life's dream, nightmare, but I do remember having trouble with sleep ( high stress ), and eventually slipping into mental illness before I got my head right back on, again.

I have lately developed a more humble attitude towards past life memories. Often I wish to piece everything together for it to make sense and while doing so my limited storage of the memories from that past life -- baked in together with my own limited mind of translating the memories -- could mean that I have jumped to the wrong conclusion, conclusions. Am currently researching on a potential past life. Although I do find coincidences there are still plenty of question marks left. I need more information, photographs to know if this is truly my past life self.

When I look into my most recent potential past life that I started to remember when being in my teenage years during a trip -- there were people and circumstances that I did not remember.

I do find it rather peculiar that the soul leaves out other important people in your life and/or circumstances and I did not think this could happen at first, but I suppose everyone and everything has their reason for either being exposed or being hidden. It is still something that surprises me.

Even if what you think is a nightmare may not be so. It might have happened, it is only the circumstances around it that you don't remember -- and there for it does not make sense to you. Or you might be right that it is a nightmare from a past life. It then does seem to be a nightmare that has some truth in it and the other some great portion of anxiety.

/Jaimie

 

[Dana]

I had a dream as a soldier in the Heer. I was there with a bunch of other soldiers, then things went out of hand. I eventually got shot by a sniper, which explains why my birthmarks are aligned straight and why I hate being poked on the sides or being pointed with something that throws things, especially the left part.

 

[Rukeli]

Yes I do. I was in two Ghettoes and a Camp at the WORST time of the Shoah (Holocaust). One of my dreams (nightmare?) was where I was still looking ‘healthly’ (this from my first ghetto in Theresienstadt) and a woman was running/chasing me around the ghetto with open scissors screaming at me to take her baby. I remember hiding in between some buildings and she ran straight past where I was then I think she was shot.

I woke up frightened, but it also validated for me why I don’t like ANYONE pointing scissors at me open or not.

The others were from before I was denounced involving a hospital but I’d rather not speak of those just yet.



Some of what I remember from the camps and Ghettos do not make sense either, but recently I found validation to the memory of a hidden synagogue in Theresienstadt.

I have learned that when memories are ‘oddly detailed’ that is when you focus on the details. I remembered the hidden Synagogue had a Star Of David on the ceiling, and this is how I found validation recently.



Being honest, I am not to good with the medical side of things, but what I do remember was playing music in the Women’s Orchestra while people were being sent to the gas chambers. As soon as they shut the door, we could hear all sorts of screaming, yelling and banging on the sides of the chamber and also the door.

Medical experiments were rife back then. If you watch the Netflix show “Charité at War” (at your own risk because even a harmless show like this I found triggering because of my hospital memories) in some of the episodes they show testing in part of the hospital as part of the Euthanasia plan to poison malformed or retarded ‘wards of the state’ children. They were often left and observed for their behaviour and if something did go wrong they stood by and watched. So on a similar scale, perhaps they are observing a reaction?



No one would have battered an eye lid. It was a what I presume you’re talking about a Concentration/ Extermination camp, so others would have considered it ‘normal’ happenings in the camp. Whether you were the prisoner or he was would have made little difference.

Well, not unusual at all. Remember a LOT of documents and files were destroyed in the camps and Ghettos so what you remember MAY have been noted in destroyed files. I remember some of the SS guards having a bonfire in Birkenau and destroying papers. I only seem to remember this as it was about the time they blew up the two crematories and I remember seeing out the barrack window — fire. I have long held the impression that the reason why I found so little on myself was because some of my files were destroyed by fire.

It wasn’t just camps and Ghettoes that incurred significant document loss. When I went to look for some files in Prague, I was told that the Germans took over 70 TONNES of paper documents and files with them when they fled. This included ALL hospital records of Germans that were in the hospitals as well. There was also ’Clausewitz’ in Berlin too.



I didn’t sleep well then either, but I was left for dead in the infirmary (hospital) of the camp left to fend for myself in my dangerously ill state. I was gravely ill with Typhoid fever along with malnourishment and probably a few other things too. When the Russians liberated us, a nurse asked me what I would do now I was free I told her “I have nothing to live for now. Let me die”. I had self destructed too.




Most of my memories of what happened in the SOE objective ‘Operation Anthropoid’ don’t match what is written either. So don’t stress about it



Last thing I promise, as this reply is getting long

Yes it does. In my own experience, my hospital traumas affected me SO MUCH I have this inane fear in this lifetime. I can’t stand anyone from a hospital, mostly doctors and nurses (outside of a hospital setting I’m fine with them) and I can’t stand being in them as a patient. I’ve been a patient a few times and lost my mind. It’s a trauma that I am still working on.

Oy, I’ll stop now and hope some of this has been of use.

Eva x

Thank you for taking time to respond to all of this, that is very helpful honestly and I appreciate you putting so much into your response. I also was terrified of hospitals nearly my whole life and always hated staying in them, whether it was for 20 minutes or months, but my fear of them has become something I am almost desensitized to now, as I have had to spend so much time in them in this life. I still can't stand the idea of being in them too long, though. When I had surgery a couple years ago I couldn't sleep the entire 3 days I was there and I was extremely on edge the whole time, by the end of it I think they couldn't wait to send me home, I don't imagine I was making much sense.

It is astonishing how much was burnt and completely destroyed, it is so hard to find any kind of information on some of these things at times and it drives me up the walls. In some places there is so much information, and in other places it's like there's nothing at all, or it is too conflicting to really find a solid answer.

At least for now, I feel like this one may have been a nightmare, but it may not have been, it is hard to say. I wish I could pull it out of my head like a roll of film and examine the negatives. I want so badly to know the context surrounding it, outside of that one moment.

 

[Rukeli]

I had a dream as a soldier in the Heer. I was there with a bunch of other soldiers, then things went out of hand. I eventually got shot by a sniper, which explains why my birthmarks are aligned straight and why I hate being poked on the sides or being pointed with something that throws things, especially the left part.

I have a friend who was Heer, he's been wanting very badly to talk to another person who also was. I believe you're in the discord that we are also in, you should talk to them perhaps. That is very interesting.

Hi, thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you had to go through such horrible times.

No, I do not remember any of my past life's dream, nightmare, but I do remember having trouble with sleep ( high stress ), and eventually slipping into mental illness before I got my head right back on, again.

I have lately developed a more humble attitude towards past life memories. Often I wish to piece everything together for it to make sense and while doing so my limited storage of the memories from that past life -- baked in together with my own limited mind of translating the memories -- could mean that I have jumped to the wrong conclusion, conclusions. Am currently researching on a potential past life. Although I do find coincidences there are still plenty of question marks left. I need more information, photographs to know if this is truly my past life self.

When I look into my most recent potential past life that I started to remember when being in my teenage years during a trip -- there were people and circumstances that I did not remember.

I do find it rather peculiar that the soul leaves out other important people in your life and/or circumstances and I did not think this could happen at first, but I suppose everyone and everything has their reason for either being exposed or being hidden. It is still something that surprises me.

Even if what you think is a nightmare may not be so. It might have happened, it is only the circumstances around it that you don't remember -- and there for it does not make sense to you. Or you might be right that it is a nightmare from a past life. It then does seem to be a nightmare that has some truth in it and the other some great portion of anxiety.

/Jaimie

Thank you for your response to this. I remember I also slipped into mental illness and became very unstable, though I don't think I ever managed to get my head on right again. I think by the end of my time there I was a bit of a mess. I think a lot of my memories from this life are hidden very deeply because of the trauma of it all, and trying to go through it all has been difficult, but I have gotten some interesting verification in some of the places I least expected it. Here's hoping that your research finds you what you need, good luck to you.

 

[Eva1942]

I also was terrified of hospitals nearly my whole life and always hated staying in them, whether it was for 20 minutes or months, but my fear of them has become something I am almost desensitized to now, as I have had to spend so much time in them in this life. I still can't stand the idea of being in them too long, though. When I had surgery a couple years ago I couldn't sleep the entire 3 days I was there and I was extremely on edge the whole time, by the end of it I think they couldn't wait to send me home, I don't imagine I was making much sense.

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

My German WWII lifetime wasn’t the only lifetime where I would have developed this fear of hospitals. It was also my American Civil War lifetime of being in a field hospital. While it was relatively ‘decent’ because it was a Yankee (Union) hospital, still my WWII German lifetime was the brunt of my fear.

My husband visits the hospital regularly for various things too, and while I used to go with him (while I was spiritually asleep) I tried to go once with him (when I was spiritually awake with my knowledge) and I lost it and turned hysterical. They actually kicked me out because they reckoned that “it was not good behaviour”. So I don’t go now, but am happy to visit our local community hospital ( go figure, perhaps it’s because it doesn’t ‘look’ like a hospital)

It is astonishing how much was burnt and completely destroyed, it is so hard to find any kind of information on some of these things at times and it drives me up the walls. In some places there is so much information, and in other places it's like there's nothing at all, or it is too conflicting to really find a solid answer.

Yes, it is quite astonishing. I had a meditation once where I saw some files that were rumoured to have been lost in a flood or stored in the Czech archives, so I wrote down what I saw and have since misplaced my notes.

We will find the information we both need when the time is right. My guides always tell me that ‘there is a time and place for everything’.

Eva x