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Do you approve of cremation?

Metal pieces are removed by the Crematorium, and offered to the family members. When my son-in-law died, they tried to present his pacemaker to my daughter. It was an awful thing, added on to an awful time. They wanted her to push the button, to start the process. She declined to be present, and spent the day with me. On the subject of cremation, I know a lot of people who's family members have been in the hall closet for decades. Time passes, and no one wants to scatter them. If any one chooses that route, find someone you trust to actually get rid of them, unless you want your remains stored with the vacuum, and the dog's leash. Some people I know have had the ashes of the deceased in the trunks of their cars for eight years. A funny thing happened in the U.S. A woman had an urn with her dog's ashes on her mantel. Thieves broke in, thought the ashes were "dope", and tried to smoke her dog. It wasn't mentioned if they achieved a "high"!
 
My mother was cremated, and my father has her ashes in an urn on a stand in the living room. We had no part in the cremation part, we left after the service (they had her laid out in a casket for the service) and picked up the ashes (in the urn) when they were ready. At that time, the funeral director told us that a lot of people never even come claim the ashes.


My wish is to be cremated when I go, and husband feels the same way. My aunt, on the other hand, made me promise not to have her cremated when she goes and she decided to pre plan her funeral because of that. My personal feeling is that once I'm dead, I'm out of there, and you can do whatever you want with the body.
 
In my son-in-law's case, we were required to rent a casket, and purchase a disposable liner. That's because an actual funeral was involved. It was surprisingly expensive, as are the urns, and a niche at the cemetery. It's the nature of Capitalism, I suppose. My daughter does ceramics, and I requested a nice funerary urn, but she refused. There are nice copies of Egyptian canopic urns for sale in New Age stores. A little forethought and planning goes a long way. For someone with an Egyptian PL, it would be a nice touch.
 
for many years I could feel the last body I had,


it caused me much pain


formaldehyde seems to have preserved it way to long,


it did eventually fade though,


so in our culture, cremation might be the better way to go.


but not sure if cremation is worse, no memories of it.
 
Finances pretty much have dictated that I will be cremated at the end of this life and that's OK with me, as I most likely won't be here to watch it, but instead will be again enjoying the sights of my real HOME.


Some people put too much emphasis on the physical body, but it is, but a "carrier" for the most important part, and that is the Soul, the very essence of who we are, the energy that defines us.


For we are spiritual beings composed of energy temporarily trapped in a "Flesh and Bones" prison while on this physical plane.


"Homecomings" here on Earth have nothing at all, compared to the Homecomings on the "Other Side", for the sheer joy of seeing loved ones once again and spending time with them.
 
spacecase0 said:
formaldehyde seems to have preserved it way to long, it did eventually fade though,
so in our culture, cremation might be the better way to go.


but not sure if cremation is worse, no memories of it.
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Embalming is not required by law. If you choose direct internment embalming is not required. My father was buried in the cemetery several weeks before we had the memorial service. He was not embalmed. My brother died two years ago and we did the same thing.
 
I see no point in embalming. I think spacecase is right - it is unnatural. As argonne said, it's only required by morticians for an open casket funeral. I really don't fancy having people stare at my remains. I will be an introvert, even in death.


Mama, I think you are correct also. The knowledge of reincarnation makes it easier to tolerate our own mortality. "Death, where is thy sting?"as Ist Corinthians says. Oddly, I always attributed that to Shakespeare. My education has many "holes". But, I don't think reincarnation makes losing someone we love easier. We love their current form, and the relationship we had with them.
 
Guess have not replied yet to this thread. Personally I have no problems with cremation. Why not? I would prefer this body to be cremated after I pass on over then to be placed in some casket in some cemetery in my personnel perspective. Why not for the body is going to decay anyway and it is just a container for the soul. Further why not let your body's natural nutrients go back and replenish the earth from whince we came instead of the body being stuck in some box to eventually decay. Also I am personally so against embalming as others here.


Now when that times comes and I have an option of doing something, then would personally prefer to just take a long final walk into the deep wild woods and then somewhere wild and where no one goes, just lay down and then let the time to pass on over come. And as I said to let the body after it is all said and done, to replenish the earth in a natural way. This to me would be preferrable then having to pass on in some freaking hospital for instance with having some major disease like cancer or such, which path many will follow it seems in this modern day society.


But hopefully I have some more years coming for this life for life is Wonderful! Just my two cents worth.
 
In one of my posts, kMatjhwy, I mentioned wanting to go off into the desert to die. I was serious about it, under the jokes, and you have made me wonder if my two Native American lives are the reason I feel that way. It seems really preferable to the "modern" ways you mentioned. I love the story of Tristan and Isolde. In the story I read, a white rose grows from her grave, and a red one from his. It's so much better to use our mortal remains to nourish the earth. If I could accomplish that, I would truly be "Briar Rose".
 
I've had the superstition for awhile now that perhaps we still retain some consciousness after death. That's a fairly frightening prospect, so I'd like to be cremated and my ashes spread in a forest somewhere. Would you rather spend an indefinite span of time rotting away in dark box or watching the seasons change and becoming apart of the earth around you...?


There's other reasons too though. One being, I have an extreme repulsion to decaying bodies. So I don't really feel like being one. Even if I'm not there to experience it.


Then's there's the financial aspect. I don't even want my body at my funeral; I don't see the point. And I DEFINITELY do not want an open casket. God, those are disgusting. Let's take this person, sew them shut, dress them up real nice, and slap two tons of makeup on their face to make them look alive. Oh and engorge them with embalming fluid. I honestly feel it's disrespectful and degrading to the body. Sorry, if that judgement offends, it's just something I feel strongly about.


And the cost of caskets are ridiculous. No wonder why, either. I closed my grandpa's and before I did so the funeral director stuck a lever in one end and lowered the bed. I mean, come on. It's going into the ground or a wall, is all that really necessary?
 
The cheapest caskets are made of particle board but you can't tell from looking at them. They only cost a few hundred dollars. I can't see spending $1,000.00 or more on something that's going in the ground and will never be seen again by anyone now alive.
 
argonne, when my mother died, she didn't leave much money. We went to the funeral parlor to pick out a casket, and were going for the cheapest one. My husband pointed out that it was fiberboard. My sister said, "We can't bury Mama in a cardboard box, like a canary!" Then, we all began to laugh hysterically. The funeral director must have thought we were "mad", but I still laugh when I think about it.
 
BriarRose said:
My husband pointed out that it was fiberboard. My sister said, "We can't bury Mama in a cardboard box, like a canary!" Then, we all began to laugh hysterically. The funeral director must have thought we were "mad", but I still laugh when I think about it.
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It doesn't matter. The casket is placed inside a concrete "liner" box.
 
I don't beleive it's neither right nor wrong. It's simply a personal choice. Theres a comment here that sais 'to ask the person if it hurt' Well i had the best reading of my life this year. My Dad came through and wanted to let me know that he was gone in a flash. He had a heart attack and was alone it hurt me to imagine him in pain, but he answered my thoughts and said he felt a sharp pain and with that was gone, he also said he was standing watching for a few moments the ambulence men (probably curioisly) and then he just went! He also said my mother was waiting but thats not relevant, what is, is that he wasnt around to feel or experience his cremation so with this no i don't think it's even an issue when you pass, i beleive you are long at peace before it even happens x
 
Hindus believe the body should be cremated (after 3 days have passed for the soul to have left entirely), and the purpose is to make the soul free to continue the journey. Ashes are usually thrown into a river. The idea is not to linger on in the past, the past is always a lesser evolved state, as the soul moves to greater happiness and knowledge. You receive the body, and when you are done, the body is offered into the Yagya fire. It is offered back to God, it is consumed by agni so that all of its energy is released back to the environment. (but of course, one could also become a meal for worms instead... I personally prefer to offer it to the god of fire than to worms...)


And graveyards are creepy, so no need to add to that (and why are they creepy? because souls linger on... and especially in places where people visit a lot, there is a lot of unhappy souls around the graves, I can feel it when I go there). So that's another reason for cremation for me. To the mind it seems scary to be "burned alive", but one is actually not burned "alive"!
 
This thread resonates with me, particularly today as, in less than three hours, I am attending my own father's funeral service, during which he will be cremated - as per his wishes.


To me, and all my family, it seems a much cleaner way to dispose of his mortal remains. As its been two weeks to the day since his death, the funeral director has informed us the body has already started to decay - no embalming has taken place. That's a pointless process, injecting toxins into a corpse. We all want to remember him just as he was.


I am going to recite this poem during the service -


When I come to the end of the road


And the sun has set for me


I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.


Why cry for a soul set free?


Miss me a little–but not too long


And not with your head bowed low.


Remember the love that we once shared,


Miss me–but let me go.


For this is a journey that we all must take


And each must go alone.


It's all a part of the Master's plan,


A step on the road to home.


When you are lonely and sick of heart


Go to the friends we know


And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.


Miss Me–But Let me Go!


I think dad would say something similar to us today if he were able.
 
Best thoughts to you, Arrant. A fine poem for his flight.


Most of my family has opted for cremation, and I prefer that for myself. When my mother was cremated, I asked to roll her body into the retort, and stayed with her the hours it took to burn. It was a powerful experience, feeling more than hearing the roar of the flame, and putting my hand cautiously on the side, feeling the rumble. And the inside of the furnace was bright with light -- not a dark thing.


I felt her presence vividly during those hours, her very self freed to be more intensely true to what she was, or so I imagined.


Oddly the whole thing took place in what was also the garage of the funeral home, beside their SUV. They offered me Cheez-its, which I probably should have accepted -- my mother loved 'em.


My mother, an artist, loved a local flock of turkey vultures, and really wished she could have a Tibetan sky burial. Nearest thing is, I will sculpt her a vulture and use some of her ashes in my clay.
 
Dear friend Arrant, my condolences on the loss of your father, may his spirit soar and his soul find peace. Your poem is wonderful... yes, "miss me but let me go." One of my favorite poems at the time of someones passing has a line that always sticks with me. Of death it says "...think of walking from storm and tempest into an unbroken calm. Of waking up and finding yourself home."


I am in the cremation line. Being boxed away from the earth seems so wrong. I'd prefer to think of this vessel as being apart of this wonderful creation not segregated away from it. I find peace thinking that some particles of me might support a magnificent cottonwood tree, or rush along the creek burnishing stone, or soar high in a whirlwind with fellow Native spirits.


I intend to make my own urn out of native stone. It and my ashes are to released in a dry creek that runs through my favorite cottonwood grove on our ranch. I'll have an old pair of work boots bronzed and attached to the headstone in our cemetery.


How many of you have heard of open pyre cremation? This is my preferred choice. But the only place that I know doing it is in Colorado and one must be apart of their community (I think). I've saw a documentary movie about it once. The ceremony was beautiful.


Blackbird, I too love the concept of sky burial. Your plans for her ashes are beautiful.


Tman
 
Your Dad

Arrant said:
This thread resonates with me, particularly today as, in less than three hours, I am attending my own father's funeral service, during which he will be cremated - as per his wishes.
To me, and all my family, it seems a much cleaner way to dispose of his mortal remains. As its been two weeks to the day since his death, the funeral director has informed us the body has already started to decay - no embalming has taken place. That's a pointless process, injecting toxins into a corpse. We all want to remember him just as he was.


I am going to recite this poem during the service -


When I come to the end of the road


And the sun has set for me


I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.


Why cry for a soul set free?


Miss me a little–but not too long


And not with your head bowed low.


Remember the love that we once shared,


Miss me–but let me go.


For this is a journey that we all must take


And each must go alone.


It's all a part of the Master's plan,


A step on the road to home.


When you are lonely and sick of heart


Go to the friends we know


And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.


Miss Me–But Let me Go!


I think dad would say something similar to us today if he were able.
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I hope you and your Dad had a meaningful day. My parents were very 'old school' and never even considered cremation and then there was the inevitable and in my opinion, warped 'embalming' process so there could be a 'viewing'. :::sigh:::: It's not for me. I went to my Mom's funeral simply because my Dad seemed to want it, but Mom and I were very, very close. I wasn't that close to my father. He was furious that I wouldn't go hang around the funeral home for 2 days and 'view'. My Mom wasn't there in that body. She was talking to me, actually. ;-)


My Dad of course went with the whole funeral - burial thing as well.


My husband and I are both very clear as to what our wishes are - cremation, no 'funeral', then maybe 6 months later or whenever is comfortable, perhaps a party or celebration and scattering the ashes into the Gulf Stream not far from our home.
 
I think it is only good to cremate a person when he/she died in a horrible manner. I would prefer not to be cremated when I die and be buried in a coffin.
 
Many cultures cremate within 24hours of death. It's mainly western cultures that make a point of burial.


Personally i've always hated the thought of laying in a box in the ground.


I've a horrible fear of coming back to life & being trapped in my coffin. Not good!


A lovely poem from arrant.
 
I live in a dense populated area, and cremation is very common. Funerals are highly expensive, and not permanent. After 20 or 25 years the remains in the ground will be 'cleared' if the family is not willing to pay for another 20 years or so.
Besides this, I would love to vanish in flames. I am not afraid of it. When I die, my spirit will be loose from the body quickly, but I suspect I'll come back to watch the fire, enjoy the fire too. maybe even experience the fire as well. It will not hurt, just witnessing the transcending fire, as a final closure (and no way back). I prefer this to a dull burial of the body.
 
Once i leave the physical realm. i'd prefer the body to be burnt as once the soul has left the body it's just a shell really, like the klingons in star trek. :)
 
starrynight said:
Many cultures cremate within 24hours of death. It's mainly western cultures that make a point of burial.

Personally i've always hated the thought of laying in a box in the ground.
I've a horrible fear of coming back to life & being trapped in my coffin. Not good!

A lovely poem from arrant.
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Obviously you were buried alive once. Many people were buried because they were thought to be dead. There are cases where coffins were dug up years later and it was discovered the person had come out of the coma and pulled their hair out out when they realized no one could hear their screams.
 
My cremation is already paid for. And I've arranged for my ashes to be scattered on a hillside so they can commune with nature, or drift away to wherever the wind takes them.

As for cremation hampering the soul's exit from the body, that's funny. My aunt was cremated and she was in my dreams telling me things almost from day one. She did tell me (showed me) the coming deaths of my two sisters very soon, and that I'd have a rough road ahead, and would think I was going to die many time before I finally did. It was all right on the button. One sister died a couple of weeks after the dream, the other three months later. And I struggle along with my many ailments. So obviously being burned up never hampered her soul's passing on.

In life she'd made my life hell, and I wanted to tell her to go there and leave me alone, but in respect to her age I bit my tongue. The third time she came to me in a dream to tell me what to do, I told her where she could go, and what she could do. I haven't seen hide nor hair or a single ash of her since.
 
Sarellah said:
In Judaism it's said that cremation is wrong because our souls have energetic attachments to the body, especially if we spent a lot of time focusing on our physical and material needs, and it will take a lot of time for that attachment to go away. That is why cremating a body will cause the attached soul pain. What do you think of that...and would you get cremated? I am sorry if this post hurts you or makes you anxious...

I have recently heard three different people bring up cremation this month (two today) and I feel the universe is pushing me to discuss this.

I don't believe in that theory because I was raised Jewish, but because it makes sense to me - objects carry our energy and there is no object we spend more time with in our lives than our bodies...

I also wonder if the body being cremated after we die will affect our cell memory and make us afraid of fire in our next life.
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I dont agree with it, because for the ones who had die would not have a biody to reincarnate in the day of the resurrection...and because of that, I dont agree with transplants.
 
I believe there are two parts of us that leave this earthly body when we die, and there isn't any physical part that clings to the body after death. The two parts are the soul, with the memories of all of our past lives, and is what will enter our next incarnation, and our spirit, the essence of what we were in this life. Until the time nears when the soul incarnates again, the spirit is what is felt, seen, connected to us after a loved one's death, when it returns to the soul.

So based on that belief, I have no fear that anything that is done with my body after its death is going to have any effect on my soul, or on my future lives.

We all have our beliefs, and that's what directs our decisions, and that's how it should be.
 
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