I had long loved biplanes since I was a little boy. I had recurring dreams of flying in them but one recurring dream seemed like it was all too real. I was flying a biplane and it got shot and I was diving into a crash and in those final moments you can only imagine what must be going through the pilot's mind but that was what went through my mind time and again until sudden blackout.
I've had a fear of heights for as long as I can remember in this life. I can't even traverse an ordinary 6 foot high fence without getting petrified for dear life in mid-climb.... and I wonder.
When I was little my sister climbed up into the garage loft and fell down onto a ping-pong table and broke her leg. That's certainly part of it, I think. But even then as she was climbing and urging me up there after her to look at our father's train set in the loft, I could not find the courage to go up there after her. So then she fell and broke her leg showing off. So in a way, to this day I say I've got a fear of heights... and as well a deathly fear of ping pong. (grin)
But the memory that gets me the most is a pre-life memory that never ever made any sense to me but was with me all along. I remember being up on the edge of the clouds looking down on nothing in particular. Just kneeling there on the perimeter of heaven looking for no good reason down on nothing. Then... I felt a tap on the shoulder and some angel there said it was time for me to go. It was time for me to be tested. I asked "tested for what?" and he replied "tested for your faith in God." I told him I didn't need any such test - I loved God good enough as-is. He said "Everyone needs to be tested now, so it's your time." So I was offered to go down and "pick" my family but I was impatient with the process and picked the first one shown and I remember it all. I even remember being born. I remember as a baby gazing up at the ceiling and seeing angels there looking down on me. I don't understand these memories but it all kind of makes sense because I've been able to see and hear and communicate with ghosts and spirits since early childhood.
I could go on in sincere depth about my experiences with ghosts but I won't here. I guess this is a past-life forum after all but I think somehow there's a connection. There almost would have to be, you know?
Yet to this day, I am terrified of heights. If there's no rail, I can't go near the edge of any drop. Even in malls, I can't on the 2nd level go near a railing for fear some nut-case might push me off over the edge at a moment's notice. I'm absolutely deathly afraid and have always been and I think it must be from that past life memory of being shot down in a biplane, likely in WWI.
Now I also went to a psychic fair once and only once and had my past life read. The psychic tuned in right away and said he saw me there smiling... flying up in the clouds with a blissful look on my face, just flying.... flying in a biplane. I was taken aback when he said the word "biplane" because I hadn't clued him into that at ALL. I was just dumbstruck that he could tell that about me in the first place, so I think... I really, really think. There must be something to all this. I must have been a biplane pilot in WWI and got shot down.
Now the funny thing about all this is I loved airplanes so much I actually joined the U.S. Air Force and served a term and got honorably discharged afterwards. So there's something that was trying to repeat itself in this life from the past, I think, but ironically as much as I love the beauty and magnificence of aircraft I'm still deathly afraid of heights to this day.
I also absolutely LOVE rollercoasters but... in line, initially, I hate them and fear them to death. I don't know why. I know I want to experience the thrill but at the same time I'm deathly afraid of that first big drop. I love that they seatbelt you in to try and protect you but none of that factors into the mindset of someone with the fear of heights like I suffer with. So I'm always thinking... "this is the time it will go wrong." Then when I survive it I'm thrilled... amazed... impressed.... out of breath in accomplishment. I can't explain it in other terms very well. It's like someone put a gun to your head and pulled the trigger but the chamber was blank and you lived. It's like that only the fear is STILL with you, you know? Like... yeah, that was "fun" but.... would I try it again? I don't know... maybe. Maybe not. You hear all these nightmare stories of roller coaster accidents where the cars went off the tracks and people died horrific deaths.... and yet... you still ride these things? Yeah. I do. Not often, but when I have the chance to decide on it I always seem to choose it... but with ONE exception. Space Mountain. Yep. Disneyland's Space Mountain is the ONLY roller coaster I fear more than any other roller coasters and I've never rode it nor ever hope to plan to do so because I heard by former riders that it's all in the dark (yeah, with certain lights and light patterns here and there.... but all in the dark). If I can't SEE my doom or the drop or whatever, I am not going there in a million, billion years. As much as inherently I know these rides must be safe.... I get petrified just imagining dropping down into the darkness into some unknown depth. I could NEVER with my current fear of heights ride on Space Mountain.
It's SO irrational a fear that it MUST be from a past life. You know? I mean.... how screwed up am I that I can't even ride a Disney ride?
It's embarrassing. I'm a Sergeant in the U.S. Army Reserves right now and I remember when I was Active Duty Army and they had me climbing over walls in "confidence courses" (obstacle courses). Soldiers of lesser rank under me were like "come on, Sergeant Chelonis... you can do it!" and I was petrified up there on the wall barrier. And I'm not even kidding here. Not even 6 feet off the ground and I was quivering in terror atop that stuff. Afraid that I'd drop down and break my ankle or something or bump my head. I don't even GET it. I don't understand what drives this fear and it frustrates me and angers me to this day. No one should have to suffer this irrational fear in life. It just doesn't make any sense. It almost HAS to be a past life influence that seeped into this life to influence all that. So then... why do I love airplanes but I fear heights? What's up with that? I think it was a WWI crash and some kind of past life memory seeping into the present to make me more cautious of going up into those "contraptions."
Now here's the weird thing. I'm no coward. I would DIE for ANY of my soldiers in combat, no question about it. I've lived a long, long life now. I'm near 50. I would GLADLY give my life up for any and all of them when the bullets come flying, no matter what. Yet... when it comes to heights, I'm absolutely terrified and I don't know why. Why should I fear heights more than bullets? I don't know.
Part of it must be, that with a bullet, it's instant. With a FALL.... you have time to contemplate what's going on. You get to realize, "I'm falling" and "I'm not going to get out of this one" and "It's going to be final" and "I wish I could undo this to live on." But with a bullet, there's none of that. It's just bang and you're dead. So maybe, maybe it's an inherent life survival instinct but maybe..... just MAYBE... it's a past life influence on your character. What do you think?
I've had a fear of heights for as long as I can remember in this life. I can't even traverse an ordinary 6 foot high fence without getting petrified for dear life in mid-climb.... and I wonder.
When I was little my sister climbed up into the garage loft and fell down onto a ping-pong table and broke her leg. That's certainly part of it, I think. But even then as she was climbing and urging me up there after her to look at our father's train set in the loft, I could not find the courage to go up there after her. So then she fell and broke her leg showing off. So in a way, to this day I say I've got a fear of heights... and as well a deathly fear of ping pong. (grin)
But the memory that gets me the most is a pre-life memory that never ever made any sense to me but was with me all along. I remember being up on the edge of the clouds looking down on nothing in particular. Just kneeling there on the perimeter of heaven looking for no good reason down on nothing. Then... I felt a tap on the shoulder and some angel there said it was time for me to go. It was time for me to be tested. I asked "tested for what?" and he replied "tested for your faith in God." I told him I didn't need any such test - I loved God good enough as-is. He said "Everyone needs to be tested now, so it's your time." So I was offered to go down and "pick" my family but I was impatient with the process and picked the first one shown and I remember it all. I even remember being born. I remember as a baby gazing up at the ceiling and seeing angels there looking down on me. I don't understand these memories but it all kind of makes sense because I've been able to see and hear and communicate with ghosts and spirits since early childhood.
I could go on in sincere depth about my experiences with ghosts but I won't here. I guess this is a past-life forum after all but I think somehow there's a connection. There almost would have to be, you know?
Yet to this day, I am terrified of heights. If there's no rail, I can't go near the edge of any drop. Even in malls, I can't on the 2nd level go near a railing for fear some nut-case might push me off over the edge at a moment's notice. I'm absolutely deathly afraid and have always been and I think it must be from that past life memory of being shot down in a biplane, likely in WWI.
Now I also went to a psychic fair once and only once and had my past life read. The psychic tuned in right away and said he saw me there smiling... flying up in the clouds with a blissful look on my face, just flying.... flying in a biplane. I was taken aback when he said the word "biplane" because I hadn't clued him into that at ALL. I was just dumbstruck that he could tell that about me in the first place, so I think... I really, really think. There must be something to all this. I must have been a biplane pilot in WWI and got shot down.
Now the funny thing about all this is I loved airplanes so much I actually joined the U.S. Air Force and served a term and got honorably discharged afterwards. So there's something that was trying to repeat itself in this life from the past, I think, but ironically as much as I love the beauty and magnificence of aircraft I'm still deathly afraid of heights to this day.
I also absolutely LOVE rollercoasters but... in line, initially, I hate them and fear them to death. I don't know why. I know I want to experience the thrill but at the same time I'm deathly afraid of that first big drop. I love that they seatbelt you in to try and protect you but none of that factors into the mindset of someone with the fear of heights like I suffer with. So I'm always thinking... "this is the time it will go wrong." Then when I survive it I'm thrilled... amazed... impressed.... out of breath in accomplishment. I can't explain it in other terms very well. It's like someone put a gun to your head and pulled the trigger but the chamber was blank and you lived. It's like that only the fear is STILL with you, you know? Like... yeah, that was "fun" but.... would I try it again? I don't know... maybe. Maybe not. You hear all these nightmare stories of roller coaster accidents where the cars went off the tracks and people died horrific deaths.... and yet... you still ride these things? Yeah. I do. Not often, but when I have the chance to decide on it I always seem to choose it... but with ONE exception. Space Mountain. Yep. Disneyland's Space Mountain is the ONLY roller coaster I fear more than any other roller coasters and I've never rode it nor ever hope to plan to do so because I heard by former riders that it's all in the dark (yeah, with certain lights and light patterns here and there.... but all in the dark). If I can't SEE my doom or the drop or whatever, I am not going there in a million, billion years. As much as inherently I know these rides must be safe.... I get petrified just imagining dropping down into the darkness into some unknown depth. I could NEVER with my current fear of heights ride on Space Mountain.
It's SO irrational a fear that it MUST be from a past life. You know? I mean.... how screwed up am I that I can't even ride a Disney ride?
It's embarrassing. I'm a Sergeant in the U.S. Army Reserves right now and I remember when I was Active Duty Army and they had me climbing over walls in "confidence courses" (obstacle courses). Soldiers of lesser rank under me were like "come on, Sergeant Chelonis... you can do it!" and I was petrified up there on the wall barrier. And I'm not even kidding here. Not even 6 feet off the ground and I was quivering in terror atop that stuff. Afraid that I'd drop down and break my ankle or something or bump my head. I don't even GET it. I don't understand what drives this fear and it frustrates me and angers me to this day. No one should have to suffer this irrational fear in life. It just doesn't make any sense. It almost HAS to be a past life influence that seeped into this life to influence all that. So then... why do I love airplanes but I fear heights? What's up with that? I think it was a WWI crash and some kind of past life memory seeping into the present to make me more cautious of going up into those "contraptions."
Now here's the weird thing. I'm no coward. I would DIE for ANY of my soldiers in combat, no question about it. I've lived a long, long life now. I'm near 50. I would GLADLY give my life up for any and all of them when the bullets come flying, no matter what. Yet... when it comes to heights, I'm absolutely terrified and I don't know why. Why should I fear heights more than bullets? I don't know.
Part of it must be, that with a bullet, it's instant. With a FALL.... you have time to contemplate what's going on. You get to realize, "I'm falling" and "I'm not going to get out of this one" and "It's going to be final" and "I wish I could undo this to live on." But with a bullet, there's none of that. It's just bang and you're dead. So maybe, maybe it's an inherent life survival instinct but maybe..... just MAYBE... it's a past life influence on your character. What do you think?
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