first post, strange experience

[bird23]

As a result of this experience, I created an account in hopes that someone else could shed light or relate to this. I went on a date recently with a German guy, and my brain is trying to rationalize what happened. I may be totally insane, but the emotional reaction I had to what happened is making me take it more seriously than I would have otherwise.

When we went to kiss at the end of the night, we were in a bed and my eyes were closed but I saw someone completely different. The skin hairline, hair color, and the suit he was wearing. I felt like we were hiding something, hiding this relationship, but it was very passionate. It just was not a thought process as much as I was just all the sudden in another place with all of this information in me as if it had always been there. I opened my eyes a little freaked out, and pulled away from him and sat there. I tried to kiss him a few more times and enjoy the evening and let that just go away, but it was pretty strong and I decided to just keep my eyes open the rest of the night because I felt upset by it. Or startled. Eyes open, no more kissing.

When I got home, I felt disgust, and I heard this very deeply, "Traitor." I was disgusted with myself but none of that really made much sense.

I had dreams when I was younger of being shot at point blank range in the street with my now mother, who was there but was a degree of separation away in relation, (don't ask me how I know this but I just know that she was next to me and a cousin or something like this, not a sister). We both died being shot by Nazi solders, and we both were Polish, and stealing something. These dreams were horrific, and I would actually pray in the middle of the night, sometimes not going back to sleep because I was afraid it would come back so I would just sit until 9am. Really miserable. I never said anything to my mom, she was obsessively collecting Nazi books shortly after this all started, and that for me was really really weird. Especially her having no knowledge of this, and no relatable interest otherwise. She just randomly started this around the same time.

I have not had the dreams in a very long time. I don't watch much on tv around it, and avoid certain things b/c it really upsets me for days. I can't think or work. This experience last week brought me right back there. I really loved him in that lifetime. This time around, I am so startled , and upset, I am being very standoffish. Just seeing what will happen between us. I did a reading with someone who can read akashic records - and has a gift in energy between people as well as past lives, and she told me I was helping Jewish children with information he confided in me, as a lover. I was playing both sides to help kids, but I did genuinely love him, and he was married. She said we have reconnected for healing, and a few days later it came to me that he was not there when I died, he was on a train away, and he was silently dying inside when he got the news. We did not get to say bye. In a lucid place before waking up, that came to me. I then realized that even as a child my mom said I was very concerned with babies, and in this life once I can devote time in 5 years- I wanted to do charity with orphaned children because this has ALWAYS bothered me so much that a child grows up without parents, feeling alone in this world. Or unwanted.

My date with him was the first amazing date I have had in years, but I cannot get past this. I asked him, he did tell me both sides of the family were Nazi soldiers. That also just makes it worse for me. But I guess if you were not Jewish, you were that, or you left the country. I did have a past life regression done when I had the really terrible dreams, the lady told me that in her experience there are indications of a past life and I worded and said those things to confirm that with her. So what do I do with him?
Has anyone kissed someone and had an experience like this? I saw his exact jacket, the color, and I found out that these jackets were worn as a dressier version for officers with a higher ranking. I am very attracted to him, and I know we have slept together, that part is WEIRD. There is familiarity there without having done it in this life. I am so freaked out by the whole thing, I have barely talked to him since that date. Curious on anything anyone can help with because I toggle between telling myself I am just very creative and feeling rattled at my core. Very confusing. Thank you.

---I would like to add one more thing. I am TERRIFIED to do another regression, or any meditation. I absolutely cannot handle those dreams I had when I was younger and I need them to not come back at all. I want to safely understand my relationship with him more without that part of it coming back so I have not done any further poking into that.

 

[fireflydancing]

Don't let him go before you start conversing with your friend about reincarnation. Test the waters and try to find out how open you can be with him. Even a tiny opening, without the details, can be beneficial and release a lot of built-up tension. Once that tension releases itself, you will be able to decide what to do next. Remember, there is no rule that you need to continue a former relationship just because someone showed up from the past. Sometimes it is enough to reconnect and let go. No matter how much it hurts.
I guess you are a bit like me, very sensitive to energy. I haven't experienced exactly the same but I did meet a bunch of former past-life friends/lovers in this life. When I was younger, this gave me a lot of confusion and even insecurities because I thought I wasn't able to maintain relationships. Those relationships never lasted more than two years and then dissolved. Now that I am older and able to look back, I know these relationships were never meant to last, just healing and reconnection. I am now married to an old past-life friend for nearly 30 years now.
Apparently, this was meant to be for this life. Unfortunately, the reconnection with old friends didn't just stop, also caused confusion but that's some price to pay when you are that sensitive.
So my advice for you is: don't bottle up. Try very carefully how much he is open to the concept of reincarnation. Some kind of acknowledgment is enough (hopefully too in your case) to release the tension (a glorious feeling when it happens). When he remains closed like an oyster, there is not much to do for you. He won't be ready for such a step and/or information, never force anything and respect his boundaries and move on without him. This last part sounds harsh and is totally up to you to not follow it of course. I just think the weight of your experiences will become a burden too heavy to carry by just one person in a relationship. (And hey, I didn't follow my own advice either, my current husband is an extreme oyster as well and I had to process a LOT on my own about past lives and spiritual experiences. The other side is: oysters are stable rocks to cling to when all the energies whirl around you from time to time. )

 

[Eva1942]

I agree with firefly. However as someone who had both a Nazi and part-Jewish past lives in the Third Reich, I can say that “Nazi” feelings are somewhat strange when they first appear, but nothing to be frightened of (unless the circumstances were unkind or traumatic).

You said the tunic he was wearing looked like one for higher officers. I presume he was SS. Did the tunic look similar to this? This was a post mid-late 1941 tunic in the colour of field grey. They also had one that was slightly green-grey too. All the uniforms were made by Hugo Boss, and tailored to each officer/soldier’s measurements and in that lifetime I remember owning a little over half a dozen of them in field grey, black and green grey.



Hope this helps,
Eva x

 

[bird23]

I agree with firefly. However as someone who had both a Nazi and part-Jewish past lives in the Third Reich, I can say that “Nazi” feelings are somewhat strange when they first appear, but nothing to be frightened of (unless the circumstances were unkind or traumatic).

You said the tunic he was wearing looked like one for higher officers. I presume he was SS. Did the tunic look similar to this? This was a post mid-late 1941 tunic in the colour of field grey. They also had one that was slightly green-grey too. All the uniforms were made by Hugo Boss, and tailored to each officer/soldier’s measurements and in that lifetime I remember owning a little over half a dozen of them in field grey, black and green grey.

View attachment 3166

Hope this helps,
Eva x

Oh my goodness, when I saw this my stomach just .. like when you go down fast in a plane and it is trying to adjust. Yes, what I saw was more green, olive color looking and there was something shiny on the collar. We are in a closet or somewhere cramped kissing and I felt the shoulder of the jacket and it had a very defined shoulder. Almost like a shoulder pad? and the sleeve itself off the edge of that shoulder hung loose and drape like. Very hard to describe in words but I know the shoulder of that jacket exactly and how it feels. The material was really nice, it almost felt dressy? We were in some small dark space, and it felt to me that it was usually that way as these interactions were short, rushed, and secretive which bothered me completely but I managed. I don't recall it having pockets like this , or pockets at all that detail I did not notice. . But the color was nice, he was nicely dressed (in the sense of the style of the jacket and it was a dressier occasion).
We have been writing to each other since he has returned to Germany. She told me he confided in me a lot with things he shouldn't have then about the war and the decisions they were making, and we trusted each other even though I used him. I would say it is like this now, we can talk about everything and anything for a long time, even deep personal things, and, the first date he did mention to me that sometimes you feel as if you knew someone before, as in a past life. I could see he believes in this despite coming from a Christian upbringing. I did not open up as I was still processing, and really don't think I can. Maybe down the rd if he said something first. I have so many mixed emotions over this that I said maybe it is my imagination... I did ask for some sign and when I returned home my mom has all the sudden asked me again to watch a true story with her of a boy's life spared because a Polish German was sleeping with a Nazi officer, and the woman saves him. I was a little in awe of this situation as it was the first night home after this date. I refused to watch these movies with my mom for over a decade now and it just so happened that this movie had this content, specifically which was maybe the confirmation I needed. I am not sure what to think. Just processing and unsure how I will feel when I see him again. Thank you for both of your replies, very helpful .. I have read some of the other posts and I definitely have some significant things I have confirmed with my exact name in this life matching something in that life, birthdate in this life, and the year significant things happened in German occupied Poland which kept coming up in my dreams. They are so specific I did not want to put them here because there would be nothing anonymous left about my post. To be general though, I didn't understand the feeling of persecution as a Polish German. I felt Jewish but knew I was not, and then learned Polish people were not treated that well during that time. Also the way I died and my body fell in my dream, I later found to be exact when you are shot in that position. I didn't to know that until I saw my body from above when I was dead. (This feels weird to write) The way I was dressed, as a child I always loved to dress in those types of skirts and blouses. I also felt in my early twenties in this life that big band music was amazing, and music from the 30s and 40s should be played everywhere in public and then maybe it would be more interesting to dance. (This now makes me laugh.) I like my hair pinned to the side a lot, and there is something familiar and comforting in that, with a button up blouse with nice earrings always made me feel beautiful. I also mail letters to my loved ones, something everyone I went to school with felt was hilarious because now that is not a thing. It is for me, it always will be.

I also should say, I feel like I am living two lives. And since I met him, that obsession with this has just come right back from when I was having these dreams in my twenties, and I am obsessed with getting the answers. My mind won't let it rest. Is this normal or indicative of past lives? I am not always on the hunt for answers of who I was in the past, and at times want to drop this altogether b/c I tell myself it is weird and crazy. Is this also normal to feel.. I go away from it for years, and then come right back to it again...

 

[Mimic]

Sometimes past life selves "bleed through" into the present. Especially if the past life connection was strong (recent, or a soul you've spent a lot of time with over the last several thousand years in other lives). I had an experience where I over time dreamed and understood my past life connection with someone I rather liked. And it wasn't negative, just overwhelming.

There's no wrong decision, follow your intuition about him and your feelings. If he's German MOST have grandparents who were affiliated with the Nazis. It was the time and place, and many good people went along with something horrible because that is what everyone around them was doing.

If there's a particular negative past-life connection with him - feel free to move along, date someone else instead. It was a pretty powerful memory to bleed through into the present.

I also wonder if dying young makes it worse/more confusing. Are you currently around the same age?

 

[Eva1942]

Oh my goodness, when I saw this my stomach just .. like when you go down fast in a plane and it is trying to adjust. Yes, what I saw was more green, olive color looking and there was something shiny on the collar. We are in a closet or somewhere cramped kissing and I felt the shoulder of the jacket and it had a very defined shoulder. Almost like a shoulder pad? and the sleeve itself off the edge of that shoulder hung loose and drape like. Very hard to describe in words but I know the shoulder of that jacket exactly and how it feels. The material was really nice, it almost felt dressy?

This is gonna be long, because for some reason I can’t seem to send you a PM…

1/2:

So you mean something like this then? This is field grey with a slight green colour to it. There were shoulder pads in *some* of the tunics, depending on the officer but most wore their tunics with shoulder pads. Tunics especially in the SS, were worn with a silver dress belt while the everyday tunic was worn with a black belt. There came to be so many varieties towards the end of the war (which I didn’t see in both lives) some I don’t even remember wearing (but yet there’s a few photographs of me, well my PL self wearing some variables of field grey, green-grey and a lighter coloured grey. Black tunics were phased out around mid 1939). Like I said, the uniforms were designed and tailored by Hugo Boss, and most were similiar to the tunics that the current man wears for business though the modern Bundeswehr wears the Wehrmacht uniform minus swastikas . The material was often a wool blend with cotton. However, it were the Ordnungspolizei who wore green tunics.

We were in some small dark space, and it felt to me that it was usually that way as these interactions were short, rushed, and secretive which bothered me completely but I managed.

If you’ve ever seen the show “Allo, Allo”, Rene was always meeting the waitresses “in the broom cupboard” or basically anywhere that was private and sometimes his encounters were very quick only a few minutes before being “caught” by Edith, his wife (who was literally thick as two short planks). Having affairs while married was an absolute no no back then (ha, I know I had one!) and for SS men to have them with Jewesses (Jewish women) was strictly off limits. You could even be shot for being found with a Jewish woman or been outed as a “Jew-lover”. Your friend could have gotten into some serious trouble which is probably why you both took crazy risks to see other and hide where ever you could. In fact, it was unofficially (meaning literally almost everyone did it) considered *normal* to have a Jewish mistress and were protecting them. Some kept it more hidden than others.

I actually wrote and published a series of books based off my past life memories in the Third Reich which I market as Historical Fiction. One is from my Jewish woman life and the other (which is not yet published) from my Nazi life. Also, if you trawl through my posts on here, I make nothing hidden as to who I was, what I did and how I am paying those actions back. I am not ashamed and once one becomes used to fact that they had a Nazi/TR past life or even an association with any Nazi really, nothing will really phase you. Those ‘stomach churning’ moments will turn into ‘oh, so what now?’

[continued below…]

 

[Eva1942]

2/2:

I did ask for some sign and when I returned home my mom has all the sudden asked me again to watch a true story with her of a boy's life spared because a Polish German was sleeping with a Nazi officer, and the woman saves him….

…..it just so happened that this movie had this content, specifically which was maybe the confirmation I needed.”

These things REALLY happened - secretly. You should watch the film “The Exception”. It’s along those same lines, but some scenes are a bit of ‘soft porn’ but if you don’t mind that, the ending has the same conclusion. Spirit used your mum to give you your answer and your sign

If I can digress for a moment, ad give examples, it seemed that in that life (my Nazi one), I always covered my tracks by doing things that had a double purpose. The KinderTransport from Hamburg had a double meaning, the forced emigration of Jews from the Reich had a double purpose - to save them and to well… exterminate them. The suggestions to send Jews to Madagascar and make them autonomous, the Ghettos were also both to contain the Jews for extermination and save them.

I also should say, I feel like I am living two lives. And since I met him, that obsession with this has just come right back from when I was having these dreams in my twenties, and I am obsessed with getting the answers. My mind won't let it rest. Is this normal or indicative of past lives? I am not always on the hunt for answers of who I was in the past, and at times want to drop this altogether b/c I tell myself it is weird and crazy. Is this also normal to feel.. I go away from it for years, and then come right back to it again...

It’s not so much an obsession. The guy came into your life for this very reason. Often random people are the “starting point” for healing whether that be past or present life. Your mind won’t let it rest because you’ve got it “out there” now, it’s moved from your subconscious to your conscious mind for a reason. The reason is to heal.

Is it weird and crazy? Of course! It’s all normal.. when I first discovered my Nazi life, I wanted to stuff it all in a hypothetical box and and drop it, but I can’t because I would be doing my previous self a great injustice. I don’t want them to hurt anymore than I do now. Some of it has downright freaked the absolute bajezzus out of me, but it’s also connected pieces to this life to why I do what I do and why I react like I do. Heck, it took me ten years to encourage my Nazi self to step foot inside a Holocaust museum!

You will get there… Just keep writing stuff down, and making connections. but be careful because the harder you seek for answers, the harder they will be to find. Let things come naturally in their own time.

Eva x