I remember a life as a child in a mountaineous region,possibly the south of France, or Switserland, or Austria, but probably the region didn't have any of those names during that time.The scenery always reminds me of the 'Heidi' movies.
We were rather poor I guess. I remember a scene where I was playing under the table, watching a few chickens run on the dirt floor of our house. My mother and grandfather were sitting at the table cleaning vegetables I suppose. I overheard them talking and they were very troublesome, because our family was having such a hard time. Especially grandfather was feeling guilty and sad because he, as head of the family, was not able to take proper care of us.
I remember another scene, somewhat earlier in that life, where I was with my older brother outside sitting on a small rock. I was crying because I hurt myself, and my brother gave me a small wooden carved animal that he made. That made me happy again and I dried my tears. At that moment, mother came to the house with our younger brother on her arm, and one of our goats was following her, and she tried to push it away. My brother and I were laughing at her attempts. But then she called us inside, and there was a picture of a Saint (or Jesus, or his Mother Mary, I couldn't see that clearly) on a small table, and we kneeled before it, and prayed for our father, for his safety. Father had joined a crusade 'to help us'. In later research I found out that when a man joined the crusade, his family was free of taxes for a certain period, and of course there was the possibility that he could bring home some valuables.
My grandfather died when I was still very young. Father didn't return home, and after a while my older brother also went away, I guess to see if he could find out what happened to our father, or maybe also on crusade.
The grandfather in that life, I immediatly recognized as my present son. He always has been very close to me, and I got a validation when he once told me, when he was about 6 years old, while hugging me : 'When I am big, I will work hard and always take care of you, mom'. I realized that, as the grandfather in the crusader life, he felt very guilty of not being able to take proper care of his family, including me. He probably died with that feeling of guilt.
I also recognized the older brother in that life as a now non-active forum member.
We were rather poor I guess. I remember a scene where I was playing under the table, watching a few chickens run on the dirt floor of our house. My mother and grandfather were sitting at the table cleaning vegetables I suppose. I overheard them talking and they were very troublesome, because our family was having such a hard time. Especially grandfather was feeling guilty and sad because he, as head of the family, was not able to take proper care of us.
I remember another scene, somewhat earlier in that life, where I was with my older brother outside sitting on a small rock. I was crying because I hurt myself, and my brother gave me a small wooden carved animal that he made. That made me happy again and I dried my tears. At that moment, mother came to the house with our younger brother on her arm, and one of our goats was following her, and she tried to push it away. My brother and I were laughing at her attempts. But then she called us inside, and there was a picture of a Saint (or Jesus, or his Mother Mary, I couldn't see that clearly) on a small table, and we kneeled before it, and prayed for our father, for his safety. Father had joined a crusade 'to help us'. In later research I found out that when a man joined the crusade, his family was free of taxes for a certain period, and of course there was the possibility that he could bring home some valuables.
My grandfather died when I was still very young. Father didn't return home, and after a while my older brother also went away, I guess to see if he could find out what happened to our father, or maybe also on crusade.
The grandfather in that life, I immediatly recognized as my present son. He always has been very close to me, and I got a validation when he once told me, when he was about 6 years old, while hugging me : 'When I am big, I will work hard and always take care of you, mom'. I realized that, as the grandfather in the crusader life, he felt very guilty of not being able to take proper care of his family, including me. He probably died with that feeling of guilt.
I also recognized the older brother in that life as a now non-active forum member.
