French Messenger

[Whippoorwill]

This life keeps popping up in every self-regression I’ve been doing for the past few months. I’ll be exploring a different life and then WHAM! I’m back in this one, always during the same moment! I don’t have much information, but I thought I’d share what I have with you, seeing as it’s so insistent! Interestingly it was the first thing that came to me during my first ever self-regression. Really out of the blue and not something I expected to see…

I’m riding a white horse, galloping far too fast and I don’t feel comfortable with the pace I’m going at. To my right I see lines of men, running forwards, brandishing pikes. They’re unclean and unshaven, in drab colours, wearing helmets and armour that seem to be made of leather. They’re angry and shouting and I feel very afraid. I get the impression that I’m French and, when I tried to think of the year, I got 1538 (although I’m unsure how accurate that is).

During a self-regression dealing with another life, everything fades and I’m right back in the same moment, riding the white horse. Again, I see the pikemen to my right, closer this time and I try to steer my horse away. I know I have a message to deliver and it’s incredibly important. I’m wearing red and blue, in a boxy garment made of fine cloth, a contrast to the men on the opposing side (I remember thinking afterwards that the colours seemed improbable, the blue was rather pale and, with the red, it seemed an unwarlike combination somehow!). I tried to think of my name and got something like Jean-Francis Gastreaux or Gastineau.

Another regression and I’m on the white horse for a third time. The men are closing in now, from the right and further away to my left and I'm very afraid. I know it’s hopeless but I keep on pushing forward. I need to deliver my message. I see enemy soldiers ahead of me now and then, suddenly, something startles my horse and he rears. Someone throws a large rock from my left and it hits me on the side of the head and I fall from my horse. I’m laying on the ground and I see the faces of enemy soldiers crowding in. One of them pierces my chest with his pike. It isn’t the killing blow, I’m pretty sure it hasn’t struck my heart, but I know I won’t be getting up again. I don’t feel afraid anymore, I just feel peaceful.

And that’s all I’ve got so far! I found it interesting that I kept returning to the same scene, moving forward a little each time. It’s not something that’s happened to me before. It’s also the first death I’ve seen, so I found it very interesting.

I hate to do too much research before I have more details to verify, but I did have a quick peek at the basics. Whilst I’m still unsure of the validity of the year, I found out that France was indeed at war in 1538, although it was the last year of the conflict (Poor Jean-Francis!). The name was something I was skeptical about, I thought I’d probably made up “Gastreaux” entirely and that Francis wouldn’t have been used in France, but they both seem valid after all. I looked at some pictures of French uniforms from a similar period and was really surprised to see the colours that I’d been so dubious about! Right down to the pale blue. That’s the validation I was looking for, really. I love it when something seems wrong or out of place, but then ends up actually being correct.

This isn’t the most detailed life I’ve uncovered, but I wanted to share it with you because, somehow, it’s the life that I feel I can trust the most. It’s untainted by anything from my childhood (unlike my 1900s life and my, as yet un-posted, Scottish life/lives). I just don’t know where any of this came from, so in a very strange way it feels more credible. Less likely to have been fabricated by my imagination to explain away interests or emotions I’ve always carried with me. Does that make sense? I know it sounds contradictory.

Anyway, thanks for reading ! I’ll keep you updated in this thread if I uncover anything else.

 

[starrynight]

My first significant dream, knowing it meant something, happened three times to me as well.


The first time I wondered but didn't do anything. Second time, did some reasearch but was still unsure. By the third time I knew I needed to take note.


Once I became open things started to come back. It was gradual but there were clues everywhere.


It looks to me like you are taking notice. Do as much reasearch as you can and take note of little things. To me if you've had the regression 3 times it must be important for you to know in this life.


Maybe people you are connected to now were with you then. It takes time but the fact you're taking notice helps.

 

[BriarRose]

I think it's really interesting that the scenes in the three regressions moved forward in time. It sounds like moving forward in a movie, one frame at a time. I can never get back to a PL on command, let alone sequence them in a time frame. That is very cool, Whippoorwill. How do you feel about having been a man? You are a very feminine person. I seem to have more trouble accepting my male lives, and integrating them into my self-concept.

 

[Whippoorwill]

starrynight: They do say that three's the magic number! Yes, it's strange. The other lives that I'm aware of have certainly been more obvious in terms of potential to heal and move on. Not sure why this one keeps presenting itself, but no doubt that will come in time! I totally agree that it must be important. I hadn't considered the idea of being connected to people from that time, it's actually the first memory I've had of being alone. An interesting thought, thank you!


BriarRose: Yes, it's something completely new to me as well! Always the same moment, but moving on slightly each time. And not deliberately so, always when I'm in the middle of something else! Perhaps now I've reached the end I can go back and find out more! That's an interesting question! In real life I'm quite feminine in a lot of ways, but always desperate to be seen as one of the boys, mainly because my interests and hobbies aren't stereotypically feminine. I struggle with being a girl sometimes and am certainly happiest in male company. I remember a male friend once said I "transcended gender" which I wasn't sure was a compliment at the time! So, I'm quite happy to embrace my male lives as it gives me the balance I crave and makes gender less of an issue for me in this life.

 

[helz_belz]

Hi Whippoorwill Those are some amazing memories you’ve uncovered! Maybe this one keeps coming back to you because, like you said, it was important to you that you delivered the message, but you didn’t manage to. Now you’ve seen how it finished you might be able to remember what happened before then, maybe find out why the message was so important or who it was for. Of course, those things might not be the ‘important’ aspect; maybe instead the healing might come from seeing what happened that stopped you in your task?

 

[Lady2]

Wow, thanks for sharing! Congrats on having such success with self regression. Do you mind sharing what CDs/method you are using?

 

[Whippoorwill]

I'm returning to this thread six years on to fill in some of the gaps! Apologies for being away from the forum for so long, I must admit I haven't done much work on my PLs over the last few years due to change and stress in my current life but I'm happy to be back here and to see a few familiar faces. The start of this thread deals with things I saw during self-regression and the extra details below are things that I have spontaneously remembered since then, it was like the self-regression opened the gates to these memories.

I believe my name was Jean Francis Gastineau and I was born around 1520. My family were classed as nobility but we had no wealth, only our crumbling chateau and the honour of our family name. It was drummed into me from a very young age to bring no shame to the family, as our name was all we had and I felt a huge responsibility to uphold this and for people to think well of me. My father was strict and grave at times but I admired him greatly, I had a younger sister who I was very close to and swore to protect, I remember spending happy hours with her in the orchards on our land. I have no memories of a mother, so I believe she must have passed away, possibly whilst giving birth to my sister. From the landscape and buildings I saw I believe our village must have been in the south of France. I saw a church, with an apex roof on top of the tower, in pale yellow stone among the hills and mountains.

War came calling and I was not of a mind to fight. I was gentle and lacked bravery but I couldn't refuse, for the sake of our family honour and any wealth I may be able to bring back to the family. It was important I find a good match for my sister and our coffers were empty. I remember regretting that I wouldn't be able to attend the balls and the dances as I had hoped, being a young man with some vanity. I do not remember any fighting, so feel I may have been spared that, I only have memories of the time shortly before my death. I was in a camp, with my commanding officer, who was a kind man and someone I looked up to immensely and I feel he was very fond of me. He was middle aged, smaller than I and quite stout. It was clear that the enemy was on their way, we were unprepared and our forces would be wiped out. I believe our herald had been lost and a message needed to be delivered, I assume it was an update on the movement of the enemy and the fact our unit would be taken, perhaps a last attempt to call for aid. My rank was above that of a herald, he could've sent any man with that message but he chose me to do it. I knew this was an act of kindness, he was trying to spare me and give me a chance, because of his fondness for me and because of my social ranking. The shame I felt was enormous. I was leaving the other men to die. When this memory came to me I felt my stomach turn over as though I had remembered something shameful I'd done only yesterday. Still, it was an order, so I climbed on my horse. Despite the era I wasn't a fantastic horseman, especially at speed and I felt such fear and such responsibility to deliver the message, especially as I'd been chosen. But my message remained unread as my death happened as I wrote above.

There are a few details I've since been able to verify.

As I was riding the horse I was wearing a short boxy garment which felt loose, divided into four in the colours of red and palest blue. I checked the fashions of the time and this didn't seem to fit, as most of the men's fashion I had seen was tight to the waist. Some time later I came across a picture of a tabard which would have been worn by messengers and heralds and this fits exactly.

The name Francis didn't sound right to me, but I found out that the King on the throne at the time was Francis I, so I feel I may have been named for him.

The church I saw was was unlike any I'd seen in this life (I hadn't left England at the time - I've since visited northern France but have seen nothing similar). I was convinced it looked more like the bell tower of a farm building, of pale yellow stone with a apex roof to the tower, unlike the towers and spires I'd seen in England. But when I googled it I saw that many churches do look like this, especially in the south of France and Spain.

Anyway, I just thought I'd post an update on this life, almost six years on! As I said, the first memories came through self regression but the others appeared spontaneously, so do take them with a pinch of salt! This life feels the realest to me out of all my memories but, as with all things, is subject to change and revision and unreliable narration!