He holds inner rage

[Agtjames]

When my youngest was one I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and my husband and I had an extraordinary experience with Carol which has changed my life on a conscious and subconscious level I am sure to more extent than I even realize. My baby had been distant from birth so much so that I was unable to console him by holding him. He would projectile vomit and would thrash about in my arms. I was broken-hearted that I was unable to help him. There were times when he would rage so severely that I thought I was going to drop him. I had to sit him in his seat for him to calm down-he wanted to be alone. During my regression I experienced a full sensory memory that I don't care to speak of. My baby was the man that brutally murdered me in my last life. I would like to say that because I was able to mentally speak with him in the white place and feel his remorse and know that I chose him to be my son to prove to myself that I was able to forgive...that it would not bother me but as I feel myself type it out it bothers me on a physically emotionally level-I feel it in my chest-pressure, shaky hands.

I love my baby and it has gotten better since my session. My husband and I use that memory to explain his peculiar behaviors. Rage has been his issue since birth and I jokingly/seriously tell people oh hes had a terrible past life-they think I am joking but I know I am not. I saw his death from that life and it was just as horrible as his upbringing. At age 1.5 he started to pick up our cigarette packages and ever so carefully hold then and take one out place it to his lips and act as if he were lighting it. I know terrible we let him hold them after he snatched then but it was amazing to watch his desire for them. When we would try to take them he would scream MINE!! and freak out. At age two he started a strange fascination for tools so I bought him some large screws and bolts and toolbox. He finds screwdrivers and insists on carrying them around-all day if he could. He is also fond of plastic knives and waves them around in a pattern kung ** ish making noises hu hu hu...probably from watching power rangers it is impressive to watch. We do not hit our children for discipline we use time out but when we discipline him like the other kids he goes nuts and hits, punches mostly, screams, and bites. He is 2 years 4 months now. His speech has been slower than the other childrens but he is using full sentences now. He speaks to me very bosy and I know that I need to react with positively affirmative disciplinary action but usually I cower and give him what he demands. Truly ridiculous that I cower to my 2 year old-shameful. For the past four months he started hissing and scratching like a wild rage-filled cat. It really weirds me out and disturbs me.
I will start to keep a journal and...?

 

[BriarRose]

I am grateful that you posted about how Carol helped you. I do think you need to resist giving in to his rage, unless Carol tells you otherwise. No one should allow themselves to be terrorized by a toddler, but I love that she was able to help you understand why he behaves this way. It must have been very healing for you, and your husband. Please forgive my interference, but I would get the cigarettes out of the house. I would be afraid that he would attempt to light one. No moral judgement - just a safety issue. Please keep us posted about how he progresses, and welcome to the forum.

 

[Ehrenbreitstein]

Wow, that's pretty fascinating and I hope things work out for you all.


It makes me wonder about my youngest brother who was filled with rage since a baby and makes me wonder about what sort of past life trauma he was dealing with.

 

[Ceridwen]

The first thing that strikes me is how your other children react to their sibling being able to get away with all sorts of bad behaviour that they cant.


I guess his behaviour represents all the more of a challenge to contain, as his siblings will soon come to a conclusion that you favour him to them if he is able to continue with behaviour they know they couldn't.


So, its all the more necessary to work out a way to deal with this than it would be if he were an only child.


I do hope you manage to work out a way through this. Good luck.

 

[Sunny1994]

I would be afraid that by allowing him to behave his way, you are allowing him to continue to be the person he was before who committed murder. As his parent it is your job to guide him.

 

[deborah]

Hi Agtjames,


I know he is still young, but did Carol suggest you have him draw his feelings? Art therapy can be very helpful. If it's too soon...as he gets older give it a try. It's another way of keeping record of his behavior, his memories and his feelings.


The other thing, be very careful how YOU feel around him when he is acting out. Children are very intuitive and he will know even if you think you aren't expressing any negative or bad feelings. Imagine yourself as a reflective surface and mirror back to him love, peace, forgiveness and joy. (From your heart center not your thoughts head).


Carol's chapter on Triggers addresses HOW we as parents can be the cause for the child's behavior or connected to the reactions. This is not to say you are - but to suggest a broader scope of possibilities for your situation.


I am going to take this opportunity to share with you a case that happened years ago. A woman was seeing a counselor for months regarding her sons (twin boys age 3) because one was so emotional and would have outbursts that no one could find the cause. The three of them would attend every session. The counselor finally sought outside help from a woman that was very clairvoyant and from whom he had built a trusted relationship with. The clairvoyant woman said:

The woman lost her boyfriend in high school, he died in a car accident. She has never gone through the grieving process for that loss. The twin that acts out - is her boyfriend reborn. She needs to heal - not the boy.

The counselor went back to the woman and asked her - "Did you ever have a boyfriend in high school?" She had never brought it up at the counseling session, nor had she ever mentioned a boyfriend. The woman burst into tears...and sobbed saying the love of her life was killed in a car accident -they were to be married after graduation.


The counselor was then able to help the woman heal from her grief and go through the grieving process, never mentioning that the son was her boyfriend. In a few weeks, the boys behavior improved, and in a month he never acted out in outbursts again. The counselor did not need to work with the child...although he was connected to the whole scenario - it was the mother that needed to heal.


I hope you find this story helpful - and if not - at least enjoyed reading it.


Happy New Year

 

[shadowsofmypast]

From what you described about your son


is really heartbreaking but, not unheard of


though not common from what I read on these


forums. And my own childhood I was born


with anger and saddness mother could


figure out why I acted that way sometimes.


My stemmed from a suicide, not wanting to be here again.


Being on this forum has helped my recall


of things that affected my whole life.


And some questions have been answered .


I doubt I will fully get all questions answered


Many us probably won't or mean't to.


I glad you got help from a expert.

 

[Obie]

When my youngest was one I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and my husband and I had an extraordinary experience with Carol which has changed my life on a conscious and subconscious level I am sure to more extent than I even realize. My baby had been distant from birth so much so that I was unable to console him by holding him. He would projectile vomit and would thrash about in my arms. I was broken-hearted that I was unable to help him. There were times when he would rage so severely that I thought I was going to drop him. I had to sit him in his seat for him to calm down-he wanted to be alone. During my regression I experienced a full sensory memory that I don't care to speak of. My baby was the man that brutally murdered me in my last life. I would like to say that because I was able to mentally speak with him in the white place and feel his remorse and know that I chose him to be my son to prove to myself that I was able to forgive...that it would not bother me but as I feel myself type it out it bothers me on a physically emotionally level-I feel it in my chest-pressure, shaky hands.
I love my baby and it has gotten better since my session. My husband and I use that memory to explain his peculiar behaviors. Rage has been his issue since birth and I jokingly/seriously tell people oh hes had a terrible past life-they think I am joking but I know I am not. I saw his death from that life and it was just as horrible as his upbringing. At age 1.5 he started to pick up our cigarette packages and ever so carefully hold then and take one out place it to his lips and act as if he were lighting it. I know terrible we let him hold them after he snatched then but it was amazing to watch his desire for them. When we would try to take them he would scream MINE!! and freak out. At age two he started a strange fascination for tools so I bought him some large screws and bolts and toolbox. He finds screwdrivers and insists on carrying them around-all day if he could. He is also fond of plastic knives and waves them around in a pattern kung ** ish making noises hu hu hu...probably from watching power rangers it is impressive to watch. We do not hit our children for discipline we use time out but when we discipline him like the other kids he goes nuts and hits, punches mostly, screams, and bites. He is 2 years 4 months now. His speech has been slower than the other childrens but he is using full sentences now. He speaks to me very bosy and I know that I need to react with positively affirmative disciplinary action but usually I cower and give him what he demands. Truly ridiculous that I cower to my 2 year old-shameful. For the past four months he started hissing and scratching like a wild rage-filled cat. It really weirds me out and disturbs me.


I will start to keep a journal and...?

If you don't mind I'm very fascinated by your pl. would you mind sharing it? Perhaps sharing it in another section?