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Holocaust memories - new member

kemetic18

kemetic18

Member
Hello everyone!

I was so excited to find this forum of like-minded people. I believe I have lived many previous lives but one in particular I wanted to share. I find this life very disturbing and really want a way to let it go and heal.

Since I was a very small child, in every house my family lived in I had to have a place to hide. I remember being 5 years old and looking at a closet in our basement thinking 'if I had to hide, I would go here.' I had no idea what I was hiding from. A couple years later we moved and I thought again, if I have to hide I could crawl into the attic crawl space. These thoughts troubled me as a child - but unless I knew where to go "just in case" I had a strange sense of dis-ease.

I have always been extremely unnerved by movies or TV shows that have someone being chased or someone in the situation where they could be "caught" - no matter the circumstances. As a kid, I literally could not play hide and seek! My heart would start pounding and I would become so panicked I would run out of hiding, screaming louding....needless to say my friends didn't find that much fun!

When I was in the 3rd grade, I went into the girls locker-room for the first time. There was an enourmous shower and when I saw it, I froze. It was dark and down a couple steps and looking at it I became extremely nausous and felt as though I would vomit. Everytime I saw that shower for the next 4 years, I felt the same intensely sick feeling.

It was around this time when I started putting these things together and since my family was a bit "out-there", I had already heard and new about the theory of reincarnation. Anything to do with WWII or the Holocaust made me (and still does) feel very strange - a combination of sick/nauseous and overwhelming dread. When we read books about the Holocaust in school, I refused and just sat there turning the pages. I actually became physically ill when we had to watch a movie about Anne Frank and it had graphic scenes of inside the concentration camps. Strangely through when we would sing Hanukkah songs during the holiday pagents in school, I really liked them.

Fast forward many years to the present and I recently had a couple strange dreams about this lifetime. In one, I was sleeping and heard someone whispering frantically "Antonetta. Antonetta, wake up!" and then I wake up in the dream and see a woman standing over me. I felt a rush of panic and then I woke up.

Then a couple weeks later, I had a dream I was riding on a train. Everyone was wearing '30s/'40s style clothes and looking at everyone else suspicously. I was sitting beside a man (my husband?). He shifted in his seat and his coat opened a bit and I saw a yellow star on his shirt. I closed his jacket and looked to make sure no one saw that. Then we were at a station, pushing and shoving to get through, and I could hear someone yelling, "the borders are closed. no one's getting out of the country." The man/husband turned to me and said in a whisper, "we have to hide. there's nothing else to do." The sense of panic and dread was overwhelming.

Despite my aversion to anything to do with this period in history, I want to learn more about it. The place where I was riding the train "felt" like eastern Europe (Poland maybe?). The name "Antonetta" doesn't should Polish or Jewish but maybe it is??

What I find is weirdest of all - I just *know* this woman Antonetta died in Auschwitz. I *know* she and her husband hid and were somehow found and taken by train to the camp. When I looked up Auschwitz-Birkenau online, I found a reference that the name "Birkenau" comes from the polish word for Birch trees which surrounded the camp. That gave me chills - when I was very small child, around 2 or 3 years old my family lived in a very rural area. Every single time I was in the car and we drove past birch trees, I would scream and cry hysterically 'the birch trees! the birch trees!'. My mom still occassionally brings it up jokingly 'you were afraid of birch trees!' It doesn't seem so funny now I that realize this was a past life memory.

Thanks for reading.
R.
 
Thanks for sharing this story!! It seems like you have some really strong connections to Auszwitch. I think I have been there, too.. I recognize so many elements from your story. The thing about having hiding places, and in my case being tricked into something you can't escape from, and also the shower and feeling of neusea and about to vomit. When I'm able to understand my story better, I'll post mine as well.


Do you feel that you died right away?


It sounds like you where lived in a gettho before coming to Auszwitch with the train, do you feel that? Because that can explain the feeling of wanting hiding places all the time. Auszwitch lies in Poland. I'm not sure what you know about it, but often they got tricked into believeing they were to take a shower, when they in reality were gassed. Sometimes this could happen in places were it was birch trees around, but I guess that it is trees located other places in the camp aswell.
 
Welcome to the forum kemetic18, and thanks for sharing your experience, sorry to hear you are having a hard time with the memories.


Have you considered having a regression with a past life therapist? Or maybe meditation can help you to let go of the past. I know the prospect of reliving those difficult times while under regression doesn't sound very appealing, but a tremendous amount of healing can be gained by working through the memories that are troubling you, and don't forget that they can do you no harm now. There are plenty of tips here in the forum to help you if you are interested, and we are always here to answer any questions you may have.


Hope you enjoy your time here, and the discussions.


Chris :)
 
Hi Kemetic18, I am also a reincarnated Holocaust victim and I was also one of Mengele's victims, and a small child from Poland as well in my last life. I have suffered in this life from that, and I had just written a book about my past lives which will be coming out next week. My Holocaust life is definitely in there. I am also currently working on another book about how reincarnated Holocaust victims are affected in this life through astrological analysis (as I am an astrologer). Feel free to message me privately, would love to talk.


Best,


Mir
 
Welcome to the forum, R. :)


Thanks for sharing your interesting story. There were elements there that also I could relate to.


If you are interested in reading about similar memories of other forum members, just type "holocaust" in the search engine or look in the archives. There are plenty of them.


Like Chris said, we can perhaps offer some advice if you want to explore that lifetime further. It might not be easy, but would probably be worth it.


Do you have memories of your other past lives?


Karoliina
 
Thank you for sharing your story, kemetic18


You might find the following books helpful as you explore your memories and search for answers. Both are written by Rabbi Jonassan Gershom, a Hasidic rabbi who has done a lot of research into reincarnation.


Beyond the Ashes: Cases of Reincarnation from the Holocaust, A.R.E. Press, 1992.


From Ashes to Healing: Mystical Encounters with the Holocaust, A.R.E. Press, 1996.


As to the name, which was pronounced Antonetta, it could be a German name, as Anton is a German masculine name, and they are feminized by adding the suffixes -ina (pronounced -eena) or -ette (pronounced -etta in German).


This is how my grandmother who was named after an uncle (Heinrich) ended up with the ungainly middle name "Heinrichette", which would be Henrietta in English.


Not as bad as her aunt, who was named after three uncles (Wilhelm, Albrecht, and August) and ended up being saddled with "Wilhelmina Albrechtina Augustina", otherwise known as Minnie.


It's entirely possible that a young girl was named after a male relative named Anton, which was feminised as Antonette, and pronounced Antonetta.


Phoenix
 
Hi and welcome :)


Thank you for sharing your experiences - I found it very intriguing to read. Personally I don't have memories of the holocaust. I lived far away from all that dreadfulness, but your memories seem so real. It's interesting how you used to be 'afraid of birch trees'. Certainly that would be something without any positive connotations for someone in Auschwitz-Birkenau.


As Chris and Karoliina said, if you have any questions please ask. Check out the FAQ - you may find some useful ressources there.
 
Thanks for all the replies! I definitely want to learn as much as I can about this life and reincarnation. It's just been in the past year that I can even think about this without feeling very sick to my stomach - I think just accepting that these memories are real and part of me and not trying to ignore them is a big step.


Anyway, the dream I had about riding on the train....someone mentioned about the Jews in the Ghettos. I knew about the ghettos, but this was different. I got the distinct feeling that the other people on the train were non-Jews and that's why the were looking at me and my husband so suspiciously. It felt like we were sneaking away - maybe somehow slipped away in the shuffle into the ghettos if that is possible.


I am very much into meditation and I'm hopeful it will help as once when meditating on this life I did see this glimpse of a happier period in this lifetime. It was a beautiful sunny day and I was a passenger in a old-fashioned car being driven by a young man (who was the very same man on the train, my husband). We were driving very fast through a flat, rural countryside. There were farmers working in the fields and cows around us and we were laughing. :)


R.
 
Hello Kemetic18.


Welcome to the forum. Thank you for saring your memories with us. As the others have said there are many topics referring to this particular time in human history from those of us on both sides of the fence (I was a Nazi in my last lifetime).


I find it interesting that you mention not having such a strong aversion to researching this lifetime now....I take that as a good sign, meaning that you are now ready to explore it further, heal & move on. Don't get me wrong I do not mean to imply that it will be comfortable or easy to deal with, but it would seem that you are ready to begin healing...& afterall, it does hurt to heal. I wish you luck in your path of self-discovery. :thumbsup:


Sincerely,


Laurasia
 
Hello, kemetic18.


It sounds like you've had some very interesting memories, and I would definitely say that you have some past life connections to Auschwitz. Do you have any memories of the place?


I do as well, but maybe in a little bit of a different point of view.
 
Hi R.,


It will get better...the more you think out or talk about your fears of the Holocaust, eventually the terror and sick feelings will lessen. I tried for years to watch the mini-series "the Holocaust", but felt sick with fear every time I tried. I even taped it once, when it was shown again on TV, and couldn't watch the tape. Not only that, I had to throw away the tapes. I couldn't tape over it. Because I knew that mini-series would always be under whatever I taped over it!But I was able to watch part of it this year, without feeling ill. I had to fast forward through some sections, but I still could watch it.


Then, there was a night I was sitting down to a lovely steak dinner, and looking over a book club booklet for the month, and came across a book on Mengele. I felt so sick when I saw that, I couldn't even eat the dinner. But now, I can see something on Mengele without fear. There was also a book in a mall bookstore that terrified me to no end when I picked it up, and read what it was about--it was about the experiments the Nazis did on women in the camps. And today? I still wouldn't read that book if you gave me a million dollars!


And once I had a dream that terrified me about children living in a camp, where the police in the camp were also children. Outside, something terrible was being done to a boy, who screamed in such a high pitch, he sounded like a girl. Someone said it was "Timmy". Timmy? :confused: Thus, I understand your name confusion/concern about Antonetta. I wasn't sure I was dreaming of a WWII camp, or was dreaming of some type of frightening and deranged Lassie episode!


Trees...I found your fear of birch trees interesting. After realizing I possibly had a Holocaust past life, I started staring out my window every night at the trees...in the horizon. Not the ones in my yard, but the ones way off in the horizon. I had never even noticed them before in the dark...but found it hard to stop staring at them some nights.
 
SundayAtDusk-


Thanks for your post. I can already feel it getting a little better. :) For YEARS the intense sick feeling attached to anything about the Holocaust was too much for me to deal with. I was very excited to realize I had lived a life in ancient Egypt - but I refused to even think about this possibility.


Last year or so I saw an episode of Oprah where she was interviewing Elie Wiesel and touring Auschwitz. I tried to watch it...but I could not look directly at the TV. But I could watch the reflextion from the TV in my glass fireplace screen. I guess it wasn't so intense then. :confused:


It sounds weird but since then I have been feeling somewhat less terrified about it. Almost like 'wow, I made it through that. It's not happening again.' I just finished reading a book about Auschwitz and I admit I had to stop a couple times and I got a terrible headache but I'm getting there.


I read your response to my other post about feeling Jewish. No, I was not raised in any organized religion in this life.
 
R.,


Oh, that's really interesting...you could watch a reflection of the show...but not look at the show directly. May I suggest you don't force yourself to look at or read anything that intensely scares you. There's the theory that you must remember or re-live a past life to eliminate your fears of it, but I personally don't believe that. I think if I had a regression where I was in a concentration camp during WWII, it would possibly emotionally destroy me in this lifetime. Some things in history were so horrific, I don't think they should be re-lived in any way, shape or form. (But I do realize there are many who will disagree with that belief...including those who do past life regression.)


I remember one night deciding I needed to let go of the Holocaust. That was the night my little dog started barking and growling at something in my bedroom and in the hallway that I could not see. He was even snarling and backing up, as if someone or something was coming after us...following us down the hallway. I've always wondered who or what he saw. But after that night, in September, when I usually really started feeling Jewish, I instead started watching British TV shows and movies. I started to believe I had a very happy past life in England, and I still do today. So, just read and watch what you can or what you feel you need to...and then let all the rest go. Don't empower hatred and Nazism in a way that it badly affects another one of your lifetimes. But also, try to hold on to your Jewish identity in some way. That was one of the sad things about letting go of the WWII lifetime for me...I somehow felt I was losing a part of myself and my identity...I was losing the "Jewish Me", and I really did not want to...because it is an important part of me. That's why sometimes still...especially in the Autumn...I just feel very Jewish. :)
 
Thank you for sharing! I, too, am still trying to understand all the ways in which my death in the holocaust is affecting me now. (I wasn't Jewish myself but was captured for helping people hide/escape.)


For me, it wasn't an instant realization. I had always been drawn to the holocaust as a subject, and found its presence in my art, my poetry, and so on. I was led to that lifetime through other, more positive emotions, but learning about my death in that life answered a lot of questions for me about my current life.


I say this because I had that very same sick feeling whenever I'd play hide-and-seek or any game that involved needing to prevent being discovered. It made me so uncomfortable that I would deliberately get caught just to ease the tension. I would say that my death in that lifetime has, thankfully, had a more subtle effect on me than it has for others, but all the same there is so much to that life and death that I still have yet to understand. I know I am being affected in ways I don't yet know.


In any case, I wish you love and healing. You aren't alone in this. What has helped me the most in this forum is hearing everyone's perspective. We're all here together to discuss this event and our roles in it from a more enlightened stance. It's very easy to get caught up in our feelings and forget the greater context, so this discussion is all the more meaningful.
 
After reading some of this I feel like I can relate- as a writer I usually don't have a hard time finding the right words or explaining myself concisely, but when it comes to my dreams/visions, I do.


Ever since I was very small I was interested in the Holocaust. I remember being six years old, and begging my mom for this one book I saw, a picture book about Anne Frank. I felt intensely connected to her, and still now I have dozens of books about her.


I was always an advanced reader and I can remember being eight years old and reading everything I could about the Holocaust.


Of course, given the looks I recieved from adults it led to a feeling of inferiority and self-doubt that I still can't get over. I always felt like I was doing something wrong, that I was a freak. And now my parents still make jokes about all of my 'Nazi books' and my interest in the subject.


Strangely enough, though, looking at it or reading about it or watching movies as I got older left me transfixed, not ill. It was, of course, beyond my understanding, but I still felt drawn to it. I remember being ten and asking my mother if I could see Schindler's List, even though I didn't know anything about Schindler or really what the premise was. I am thankful she said I had to wait until I was sixteen, however, because as soon as I saw it I was...****, I still can't find the right word.


Ever since I was small I also had concentration camp nightmares, both of the gas chambers and of another camp, of being sick and covered in lice- one that I knew in my dreams to be Bergen-Belsen. I still have those dreams, and I recently had an awful one about that camp.


It usually takes me a while to recover from those nightmares, and I generally spend the rest of the day in a depression.


What was most interesting, though, was when I was about sixteen, and randomly stumbled upon a site about past lives. I didn't even consider that, or think anything of it, until I started practicing meditation, on the advice of a friend.


It was then that I saw my first vision, if you could call it that. I still remember every detail, because it was so vivid.


It was hot, where I was, and the ground I was standing on was sort of reddish brown, dusty. I could see barbed wire behind me, but what I remember the most was what I was wearing. I had a white kerchief on my head, and though my hair was all shaved I knew what my hair looked like before- thick and dark and wavy, almost black.


Of course, that was strange to me because I am a natural blonde, always have been, with annoyingly baby fine hair that is about as limp as spaghetti.


I wore a striped top, and I remember distinctly the pieces of cloth that were sewn on it- one was a yellow triangle, and the other was a white piece of cloth that had a number on it. Unfortunately, the number got somewhat scrambled in my mind after I came out of my meditation, and I don't remember exactly what it was. It had a 0 in it, I think, and a 4, 6, 7, 8, or 9.


I wore a grey skirt with a torn hem, and black stockings with these worn out leather shoes. The next image I remember seeing was a red bowl. I was holding the bowl and I got a piece of bread with margarine on it. When I ate it, I could taste the margarine in my trance or whatever you want to call it.


I remember seeing the barracks, the blocks, the ones that kind of look like long sheds.


And it was strange, when I went to the Holocaust Museum in DC with my boyfriend this past September- I saw those red bowls and instantly went back to my vision. I had a panic attack in that museum.


I saw another "vision" (for lack of a better word) a little while later, that summer before my senior year started.


In that vision, though, I was a little girl, about five years old. I wore a bright red coat and a matching hat, and in the background I could see a cart selling vegetables or something, like we were in a marketplace of some kind. The streets were cobblestone, and my mother was dragging me down them, as I was digging my heels in. I wasn't sure why, but I could feel my childish indignation and her impatience. She was well dressed, with dark hair up in a bun, and without an explanation I knew she was my mother in this life, as well.


The scene changed after that, I was sitting in the lap of a plump, white haired woman. The word that came into my mind was Babcia- Polish for grandmother. I felt safe, and loved, and I played with the ends of her hair, which she kept in a long braid down her back.


I did a little digging, and it was through a conversation with a friend of mine that I found my past life name. She was discussing how she had found hers (she was on the Titanic) and how it felt to her- "like lightening". I was sort of browsing through a website when I found a name that gave me the same feeling- Bronia. It is a Polish name, a short form of Bronislawa.


Strangely enough, I was brought back to another childhood memory- coming across the name Bronia when I was younger, in a novel, and how taken I was with it. I used it for one of my paper dolls when I played, and though I had forgotten it, seeing it again reminded me of that childhood memory. :)


I knew I came from Poland somehow, and I kept getting drawn to the city of Krakow. That is why it was so strange when I was older, watching Schindler's List (I did so after I saw my visions) because it felt so familiar to me. Just as an additional point of interest: my mother can not sit through that movie; she can't even bear to hear it. She saw it once, and when I came home to finish watching it (I saw part of it in school) she had to go up to her room and put on loud music.


Also, ever since I was nine, I have wanted to go to Auschwitz, to Poland, though in my mind it was always "Birkenau." Even when I talk about it now, I always refer to Auschwitz as Birkenau, though that may be inpercise. This year I was finally given an opportunity to do so, thanks to my father, but oddly enough whenever we can close to booking the trip I would flip out, and stop eating or have a bunch of panic attacks (something I have been plagued with since childhood, and more recently, depression, suicidal thoughts and bipolar disorder).
 
It cut me off cause I had too many words, so I will just add this last part:


The reason why I suppose it "bothers" me, though bothers is not the correct word, is because I feel a complusion to write about it, but somehow, whatever I do doesn't work, or never feels right. My friends read my stuff and they think I am good at it or whatnot, and they never understand why I am so dissatisfied with my work.


I sort of feel like I am stuck in some sort of loop, and I can't go backwards or forwards. I just wish there was some way I could figure it all out, and find the right way to express myself.


Sorry about the double post~
 
Hi PrivateTucker, welcome to the forum :)


Thanks for sharing your past life memories and sorry to hear that they still trouble you in your present life, I can certainly relate to the nightmares, but you can overcome them by confronting your subconscious issues through regression or meditation, we can help you with that and any questions you may have, although I see you already meditated a few times already. However you really need to seek some additional help from elsewhere if you've been having suicidal thoughts, that's not good at all.


Chris
 
Thanks for the welcome. ^^


I am going to try to find someone who will do a regression for me, if I can scrape up the money.


And don't worry, I am not suicidal anymore; I just figured it might relate to my past life, I wasn't sure.
 
Hi :) I know what you mean, it can get rather expensive if you're looking beyond 1 or 2 sessions with a regressionist. As an alternative, there are a lot of audio cd's available to you, have you considered regressing yourself? It's similar to a guided regression, except it won't be tailored to your specific needs or pace, but it is a good alternative :)
 
Hi Privatetucker and welcome to the forum :)


Thank you for sharing your experiences. It was an intriguing read. There are many people on this forum with memories of WWII - there are people from both sides of the fence, so to speak (Jews and Nazis). You might be interested in reading these people's memories - perhaps it can help you to put your feelings into words when you see how others do it. These two threads are a start for you - they're from the memory archive:


WWII - civilian memories


WWII - soldiers' memories
 
My experiences


I think I was around 10 years old when I first learned about concentration camps during ww2. We saw a documentary in the classroom about Auschwitz, and I remember it had a very deep impact on me. It probably had for everyone, it was a sad documentary, but I felt I had been there. And since I was only 10, I didn't know anything about reincarnation. And I got this weird feeling of me being older than I was at the time, a woman with darker hair than I have now. And I felt she /I had the worlds weight on her shoulders. And the images of the buildings felt so sad and depressing, like a heavy rainy day that would never end.


I think this documentary triggered my interest in concentration camps. My grandad told me somethings about the invasion of Norway (the country I live in now) etc, but I never had any particular interest in the politics of the war, just the camps.


I can also remember some dreams I had many years ago which had to do with ww2 and the camps, but they never made sense to me from what I knew about camps at that time. One of the dreams I have mentioned in here. I see myself (?) from the outside gong into a room from a corridor with green color up to a certain point then it is white. The weird thing is she is alone in that room, except from a baby. I can't really remember if I actually saw the baby, but I felt she had one or was pregnant. She was also tricked into that room, and I don't think she knew what would happen to her. She was nude. There were either a bed or some wooden benches in there which she sat on. The green shade on the walls is something I really hate in this life, my dad painted my room in that shade once, and I couldn't even be in there! It make me feel sick, like I have to throw up or something, and I feel I don't have control over my own body.


Anyway, she sat in that room, and from how I understood the dream it was almost as if she put herself close to the wall in the other end of the room. I was around 12 when I had this dream, so I can't recall every detail anymore. But she might have been holding the baby very close to her to protect it. Then I can't really remember so much more except some inner/outer voice warning me "if you see yourself in that place, get out!!". The place in itself didn't look dangerous in itself, therefore I think there might have been a trick involved. I don't really know if the woman was me, I saw her from a 3d person perspective, so maybe I was in the hallway looking into her? But I just "know" that the dream was past life related. But I also know that if I wasn't her, but in the hallway I was supposed to be in another room like she was. Is it normal to have past lives dreams in 3d person perspective, or do you think it's more likely I was a person in the hallway?


I can also remember another dream I had many years ago. I saw the entrance to the camp showing up in the horizon, and I felt tricked, angry and just wanted to run. What I didn't understand is that I think I might have been walking, not in a train, and there were people around me singing or humming I think. But I knew the place in the dream, I knew what it meant.


Someone I know told me some months ago, that she believes her and I were forced to work in the brothel. She told me she did a regression before, and she believes I was with her there. She didn't know anything about my dreams and hunches, we were talking about past lives, and I only mentioned that I felt I have been in a concentration camp before.


The weird thing is that I have associated Auschwitz, and the black gates and the brick wall buildings with sexuality. I have had this feeling since I was 15, if not earlier. Obviously I didn't say this to anyone, I felt really stupid, and thought I had to be a very sick person to feel something like this. Some years ago I watched another documentary about Auschwitz, and they mentioned briefly that there was a brothel there. I got kind of startled when they mentioned it, cos the way they presented it was like this was something fun. You could hear people laughing and drinking, having parties etc. I felt kind of ashamed or hurt when I saw it. But it made me research the subject a bit online wondering if I had some connection to it. The only thing I found was women kept in concentration camp brothels for other inmates (something that the nazis designed cos they thought it would enhance the productivity of some of the more valued workers in there), but I didn't feel all that was said in the article related to me, but some bits did. What didn't really fit is that I felt the men using the brothel had been nazis and not other inmates.This is about 4 years ago, and I threw the idea a bit away, thinking I had to be a very sick person for even considering something like that. Then my friend came along and told me what she was thinking, she said there were the officers etc that used it. She said we were very pretty, but after a while we weren't pretty anymore, so they just threw us out with the other prisoners. After that I didn't feel so stupid anymore.


Another thing is that I know they had a hospital there, and that they sometimes did medical experiments on the prisoners. But it's just in 2009 I researched what kind of experiments. I felt a bit weird around that before as well, I kind of got some weird hunches which scared me a lot, but again I felt I was just being crazy. My friend told me that we became pregnant at least 3 times, and then they brought us to the hospital where they removed it manually without sedation. It's horrific, even though I may or may not have been there this actually happened, I've read about it. So much horrible stuff they did!!


Another thing I have have kind of felt or imagined is people being forced to get sick so they would throw up. I saw this happened in 2 ways, either through food they were given, or being injected with a shoot. Then I read about experiments like that as well! I think my jaw dropped to the floor when I read it, I thought my imagination was just too morbid for itself sometimes lol!
 
My experiences


Part 2:


I've had more dreams, but some of them aren't that clear, and they seem a bit symbolic, but in one dream I'm standing with other prisoners outside. There were a lot of tables there with a bit distance between them, in 2 or 3 rows. Then there is a man there, he is wearing some kind of mask. Looked a bit like those beak masks from medieval times:


http://sipseystreetirregulars.blogspot.com/2009/04/barking-moonbats-fly-at-dawn-dr.html


Although the color I saw could have been lighter than that. I didn't like him, we were all scared of him. On the tables there were soup, and again it was some kind of set up. It was supposed to be some kind of relay (?). Some of the inmates was supposed to run between the tables to get soup, but I kind of knew that if they did anything wrong, like running too fast/too slow or whatever, it meant something bad would happen to them. Then I see a little boy, he's standing beside the masked man and he is so hungry so he takes some soup. From where I was standing I could see that the man stabbed the boy, or had something sharp in his hand that would make the boy bleed. At the other side of the area there were some people dressed up in white, and they were supposed to be helping, they were either nurses or from the red cross(???), but it's like they didn't see what was really going on. We never got that much soup.


Could this dream in any way be related to past lives, or at least parts of it??


Wow, I think I just broke a bubble or something lol. Sorry about posting this much, and I hope I didn't scare anyone away with this either. I often read that people that believe they have been in a concentration camp during ww2 can't really read or hear anything about it, but I can't really get away from doing it! Even the bad parts, it's like I get a bit paralyzed sometimes, but I want to know. It's like I want to know what happened. Is this normal?


I have a lot of triggers in this life, like when I see certain types of buildings, colors etc, it freaks me out a bit. But at the same time, I don't get terrified all the time when I watch pictures or read about the camps. Often I do, but not always.


Thanks for letting me sharing this, and if someone knows something about this, or have experienced similar things, I would be happy hearing your thoughts.
 
Fascinating Seline, thanks for sharing :)


I can't think of any reason for associating sexual activity with that place, so I found it really interesting that it triggered those feelings in you. What other explanation could there be for that other than having had a past life there being forced to work in a brothel as you say?


I came across this website at the weekend which you and PrivateTucker may find interesting. It's a virtual 360 degree tour of Auschwitz, and it really feels like a personal tour and I found it very interesting and quite sobering (and I have no memories of the Holocaust) so be warned, I wouldn't want it to cause you any distress. Here's the link if you're interested: A Virtual Tour of Auschwitz/Birkenau
 
Hej Seline,


Thanks for sharing! :) I recently read an article about the brothels at the KZ Camps. As far as I remember they were primarily brothels for the other inmates, but some of the Nazis also used them. Unfortunately I can't find the article now, but it was written because a new book on the subject has just been published (by a German lady called Crista Paul). If you speak Norwegian you might find this link interesting:


Article from Danish Newspaper


It refers to this new book.


And this is an excerpt of the article I read (also in Danish):


Article from Danish magazine


Apparantly this was something that people didn't know about for many years - it was only found out fairly recently. Only 9 brothels were established, at least one of them was in Auschwitz. I find it very interesting that you might have memories of this since it's something that has been a taboo for many years and has only been studied recently :)


Do update us on further finds! :thumbsup:
 
Thank you for sharing Seline.


I find it interesting that your memories are based on something that is not widely known. I know quite a bit about Nazi Germany, but I did not know that there were brothels in concentration camps. I feel it brings a certain level of validity to it considering it is not common knowledge.
 
There was a brothel in Auschwitz, in the main camp, but it was for use by "Aryan" prisoners only, and only "Aryan" female prisoners could be forced into being prostitutes.


I believe it was supposed to be a deterent against homosexuality among the prisoners, or something like that.


Edit: Oh, and there is a book that goes into a little bit more detail on the subject (that is how I found out about it in the first place). It is called Auschwitz: A New History by Laurence Rees.
 
Thanks for all replies!


I have done very much research the last months about brothels etc during ww2. It's a lot of controversy around that topic, but after digging more around it I found that there were a lot of brothels during ww2. Not just in the camps but there were military brothels, and brothels for the ss and brothel for other inmates. I have some links to it, but I'm not sure if I should post it or not, as it is very heavy. There are some new studies and books about that as well. For ex there is a short documentary about military brothels set up in different parts of Europe with women being forced to work there. It's more documentation around prisoner brothels set up for other prisoners than it is about ss brothels for example, but there are survivors statements and other sources that they existed. But I have seen some documentaries lately that mentions this as well. But another problem is that the women working there didn't come forth after the war telling about their experiences, which is very understanding.


The women used in those brothels were "aryan" in some ways, a lot were German, some were Polish etc. I don't think I was Jewish in that life, not that I know for sure. My friend, who has done a regression to that life said I had dark blond/light brown hair and blue eyes, she was blond with blue eyes. I have seen myself with brown to light brown hair. She said we were Polish.


After all I have read online I don't really doubt that there were such brothels. And I'm not the kind of person that accept everything I read either! :)


Another thing she told me is that we both had children that were taken away from us. Mine were only 6 months old. She said that the girl I had weren't killed, but sent to a German family cos of her blue eyes and blond hair. Of course I don't know if this is true or not, but I had a hunch around it before she said. I did research this as well, and it was cases were small children were taken away from their families to live in German families. It's called the Lebensborn (or something similar). I have also had more dreams than I have mentioned here that I can relate to all of this. She hadn't read about any of this before, I'm not even sure she knew it existed brothels there.


Btw,something I forgot to mention.. My dad brought me to his work once, and I sat at the office for many hours. I got some food and a Donald Duck pocket book, but it didn't take long before I read through it. In the office there were only an old type writer thingy. You know the ones that were used in stores to type in the prize on what was bought and then you got a recipe. I started to write a set of number, equal numbers, like 2488 or something. The same number over and over again for many hours. It was like an obsession (I have never done anything like that since). In the end there were no paper left, and I brought the recipe with me out to show it to my dad. The recipe was several meters long with the same number on it. My dad was a bit mortified when he saw it lol. It could just be a coincidence, but I wonder if it could be related to the prisoner numbers they got in the camps?


Also when I was 11-12 years old or something I went with alot of other teenagers to a place in Denmark. We took the train down. I hated every minute of it, I didn't like going away from my family, I didn't like taking the train, I can even remember driving past a building that looked like a public shower place, and I remember thinking "this place is dangerous" and I it made me think of concentration camps. I was only 11 when I was there.. Also when we got back from the trip someone wasn't feeling well, I don't remember what it was but she was brought into a doctor. The buildings reminded me of concentration camp buildings. It was some brick wall buildings in a yardplace. Again I was really uncomfortable and scared. Everyone else was probably just bored, but the colors in the room etc made me want to run.


I'm not like this at all now, I love to travel and visit new places, and I think I did back then as well, but that particular trip made me uncomfortable during the whole stay.


One fear I still have today is taking shoots. I really detest it. I can even remember that the school nurse that gave us the different shoots each year used to take me in after all the others were done. I got to lay down, she gave me some soda or something to drink, she would tell me stories, and then she made another nurse put the shoot in my when I didn't see it. But this treatment made things even worse, because I felt I couldn't trust them. I know she only meant it well. I'm a bit better now, though. But I still have problems with it.


I read that the girls were subjected to medical check ups all the time to see if they weren't infected with anything, and they were also given some injections to help prevent diseases. I'm not sure if there is a link to that, but the thought have crossed my mind! :)
 
You know, if you go to https://www.viator.com/Krakow-attra...u-Memorial-and-Museum-tours-tickets/d529-a783 they have a special search function where you can type in a prisoner number and get the results. It only has partial records, but if you send them an email they are very nice about it, and try to give you as much information as possible.


Also, the Nazis did make a point of kidnapping Polish and Czech children who had "Aryan" features to "Germanize" them and send them to homes in Germany where they could be adopted.
 
A heart-wrenching non-fiction novel by John Hersey, "The Wall" (1950), is a first-person account of children barely surviving the aftermath of the Warsaw Ghetto; which has seared a permanent impression in my memory. Some accounts are reminiscent of some accounts in this thread.


I don't know, if reading it would trigger more memories, or could only serve to corrupt current memories of that period.


-Nightrain
 
Hi all:


I started this thread and just wanted to share some experiences I've had.


I had some dreams about this life that were absolutely terrifying - I don't think it was bad enough that I was in Auschwitz, I think I may have experienced some very disturbing medical experiments.


These memories were and are so frightening and I have no one in my family to talk about this that I felt I just couldn't deal with any of it. I felt it was affecting my life so for a couple months I completely "forgot" about reincarnation and past lives.


But here I am again. :o A couple nights ago I had a dream where I saw my first and last name in that life clearly written out and the year '1944' and even though I know the chances of finding a record with the name are slim (I don't even know where to start looking...), it really intrigues me.


So...the really really scary stuff I am never going to touch or explore. Some of it though I do want to explore further. I think that its possible to heal without knowing everything about a past life - at least I hope it is!
 
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