I have a 5 yr. old who is "having memories"

[2Angels]

Hello. I just found this forum today. And boy what a forum I feel so "at home" even though I don't know anyone and vice versa. I was reading just a little today because my daughter, who will be 6 in June, for the past few months has been saying things that have both my husband and myself thinking. The first thing, like another post I read today, is she should have "never" been according to science. My husband was told he had less than a 1% chance of conceiving a child..our Angel, Taylre, is that 1% chance! and I thank God everyday!!!

She has been asking us, "Why we took her from her old Mom and Dad?". And we would assure her that we had her and we were her only Mom and Dad. Then my husband and I starting talking and said what if she is remembering a past life? So we let her talk about it. She says her parents were "rich", she had a big black jacuzzi they would let her "swim" in, she's been to France but then we (me and my husband) "snatched" her from her old Mom and Dad and took her to a hotel, room #66 and she doesn't understand why. She was born with a birthmark very similar to what I have read could be something from another life. It is in the back of her skull, it wasn't fully closed at birth, very white (non pigmented), circular and hair has never grown out of it.

What I would like to ask of you more experienced posters is should we encourage talks with her when she tells us about her "experiences"? I don't want to do anything wrong that may harm her memories and feelings
Thanks a million!!

 

[Kathy]

Hi and welcome to the board!

Although I have no children (not married yet either... , what I've learned from reading Carol's book and from the many posts on the board is that you can't encourage/convince your child to talk about it spontaneously, but that when they talk about it, it's important to listen to them and to ask them significant questions about thier life. By following your intuition, I think you'll know the best questions to ask, and you'll be aware of the right times to ask them as well. I'm sure you'll do fine

Other than that, no news, but good luck to you! Sounds like you've got two very lucky children there.

Hope you're having a great day. Take Care, -Kathy.

 

[Kelly]

Hi 2Angels

Welcome to the forum…I’m glad you feel so at home, that’s just what we like to hear

As to your question, you can normally tell the difference (as a parent/mother), between when your child is fantasizing/making things up, or really telling a “truth”. The difference can be found in the tone of their voice and the matter-of-fact way that they explain, voice and illustrate their “story” to you. As to encouraging it…well, one of the first things I’d urge you to do, is keep a journal of all the little things she comes up with, whether chatter, memories, little quirks, personality traits, etc, etc…note them all down, date them and maybe even explain a little of her day/surroundings, etc, when she first tells you, or expresses experiences like these.

Gently questioning her, in my personal opinion, will not cause any harm at all, if the memories are surfacing, they are already present, so by gently continuing the conversation with her, you are in fact more likely to be helping – not hindering. One important thing to children displaying and revealing these memories if trust, if they are laughed at or told they are being ridiculous/making it up, etc, chances are, they will stop talking about these “memories” and keep them all inside to themselves, instead of sharing and “releasing” them with you.

When questioning, make sure you don’t make any leading statements, instead use open-ended questions, like “And then what happened?”…”What did you do after that?” etc, etc.

Help her understand also, that what she is remembering was in the past, but she is you and your husbands daughter now, and you are her Mummy and Daddy this time round…and that no-one is going to take her away

I’m a bit tired, so I don’t know how much help I’ve been, but I’ll pop back tomorrow when I’m a bit more brain active and add anything else I think of – that is, unless someone beats me to it

Lots of Love



------------------
Kelly

 

[2Angels]

Thank you both so much. I really wasn't sure how to approach all this. She's been saying about her "old" Mom and Dad for awhile but I really didn't pay it much mind, thinking it's a child's imagination. She, like I said previously though, has been getting more elaborate in her details. And I haven't been trying to guide her, I let her tell the "story". Taylre is also was of the most honest 5 yr. olds I've ever known. She doesn't make up stories. She always seems to tell the truth (and I have one who tells stories, believe me I know the difference lol!!)

Again, I thank you both so much for making me feel at home and I will adhere to your advice and keep you informed if she says anything else.

 

[JC]

Hi - My son (now 6) has done the same things as your daughter. In my experience, what's best is to remain open to things and let her know you believe her and are willing to listen whenever she wants to talk about it. My son has has gotten self-conscious about it, at times telling me he's made it up. There's definitely a different tone about the true memories. At times it's eerie. I also find that when he's very relaxed, he's more open to talking about it. Let me know if you want to talk or compare notes!

 

[JulieZ]

HI 2 Angels,

My daughter is going to be 5 in June, and for the past couple years she will drift off and say things like, "I used to be a boy and I drank beer and smoked cigarettes." She has even asked me if I remember when we used to do that together. "Don't you remember mama?" I wish I could say yes, but I tell her I don't remember, so why don't you tell me about it. She also likes to remind me that "She picked me to be her mama." I find it all so heartwarming!

Take care,
julie