Update:
Before Christmas, we were in a craft store to get ornaments, and I was choosing unusual things to put on the tree. The beaded strands used to make jewelry were on sale, so I started looking at them. They were like short necklaces, and there were probably 50 different kinds. Ian went straight to a 'jade' one, and excitedly asked to get it for Soh-Soh. Then, he saw another and another he wanted---all 'jade.' I can't remember if I told him we'd get it for her later (a common response from me), or if I said he could have one after we were finished with the Christmas tree.
Anyway, when we were taking down the tree a few days ago, I said, "Oh yeah, you wanted one of these for Soh-Soh, didn't you?" He said he did, then went through all of the jade necklaces to see which "she'd like the best." (By the way, he ignored every other style.) Finally, he picked one with beads that looked like flat coins. I went to his room and tied the strand to the red and green ribbons he has tied to his window, which he keeps as a symbol of Soh-Soh and himself. Sweet, I think.
While we continued to take ornaments off the tree, I asked him if he'd ever married Soh-Soh. This has been a hanging question because he always acts as if the wedding is coming soon. (Sometimes, he has appeared confused as to whether or not they're already married.)
His answer might explain what he meant earlier by this life being his second chance with Soh-Soh. "Two chances." He said that "last time" he was too old for her, so they couldn't get married. Unfortunately, I don't quite remember the next part of our conversation, but it left me with the impression that he was much, much older---like man to young girl. Maybe this is why he's so excited about Soh-Soh being three and keeps reiterating that she's the "same as me." He even uses the term "age" over and over again. "We're the same age." It's not really that odd for Ian to use that term, but I'd guess that most 3-year-olds wouldn't.
*By the way, Ian asking for something for Soh-Soh is very common now. We rarely go into a store without him trying to put a little dress, shoes, toys, etc. in the cart for her. I usually tell him she needs to get her Mom to buy it, or I say he can get it for her later. He's fine with that. One day, I went to the bathroom in a store and he stood waiting with my Mother. When I came out, she pointed at a Christmas dress that looked to be the same size as maybe an 8 to 10-year-old girl. She thinks Soh-Soh is Ian's imaginary friend, so she doesn't mind mentioning her to him. Anyway, she said, "I showed this to him for Soh-Soh, but he..." I finished for her, "Said it was too big." "Yeah." "That's because she's three." I just left it at that. Ha!
Is it just me or does this irritate other people? I get that they simply DON'T KNOW about the situation, but every time the words "imaginary friend" come up, it bothers me. He doesn't talk into thin air and say it's her, run around playing with her, pretend she's sitting next to him, etc. In fact, if you say something about Soh-Soh and his communication with her, he acts like it's ridiculous to suggest she's actually "there." Ian is very consistent in saying that she lives in another place and that she's coming up in his life. Although he said once before, "She comes to my house," he was talking about how he knows about her. Otherwise, he's never remotely suggested she's been in his presence. That's what an imaginary friend is to me, if there's even such a thing. Anyone else feel this?
---
Another thing: When we were taking a walk outside, he wanted to call her. An odd request, so, I handed him my cell phone. He didn't do or say anything unusual, except for leaving out, "I'm doing nothing." Ha! I suppose he's caught onto people asking---What are you doing?---at the beginning of a conversation.
Anyway, he walked ahead and I could hear him mumbling Yes and No---etc. When he handed the phone back to me, I asked what she'd said. I didn't expect this answer.
Ian: She said we (or you?) need to go to church.
Mom: Oh? Why?
Ian: To tell God you love Him.
Mom: Oh. Is it because we don't go to church?
Ian: Yes.
Mom: What kind of church? Any kind?
Ian: A working church.
Mom: What does that mean?
Ian: A church that works.
Mom: Does Soh-Soh go to church?
Ian: Yes.
I asked him what kind, but he snapped out of his serious voice and hopped along happily, like we weren't even having that conversation.
I know many of you don't believe in organized religion, and the board is very good about being open to any type of belief in God. For me, Ian's answer was a bit shocking, as I've been struggling with going to church for years now. It's a real issue for me, and I can't stress that enough. I wasn't even sure I should be going to church, being that I have panic attacks when I do go.
I guess I got my answer.
To answer any questions in your mind---No, we hadn't been talking about going to church at all. Yes, his voice and demeanor changed during those few moments.