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Isn't Notifying the Other Family Important?

Eric D R

Eric D R

Eric D R
Hi,

I'm new to the forum. I was reading some past threads about kids who had recalled previous lives who were victims of WTC attack in 911, and I was disappointed that no one seemed to be suggesting to the parents of these kids that they could potentially bring great relief or closure to the families of the previous personality by trying to find them and contact them.

All of the advice seemed to be focused on the child, which I think is definitely the most important thing, but what about the bereaved families and relatives of the previous personality?

I also didn't see anyone recommending to contact a researcher like Jim Tucker before trying to contact said families so that their cases might then help to bolster the research that's being done in this field.

Aren't these things important to mention to parents who write in to this forum to tell about their child's past life memories?

Sincerely,
Eric
 
Hello Eric, welcome to the forum. You've asked a good question and one that must cross all of our minds when we read compelling cases like the ones involving the 9/11 victims. But there are a number of factors to take into consideration before contacting the families of the deceased. Firstly, the families may not believe in reincarnation, they may even belong to a faith that opposes it. Many people ridicule the idea of past lives and some are even offended by it. Even if the families concerned were open to the possibility, you can't always assume that the affect it would have on them would be a healthy one. Supposing one member of the family had mental health issues, then I can imagine that something like this could cause problems within the family. Years ago for example, I read of a case where a mother was reunited with her son when he returned as her grandson. With this knowledge, she was no longer content with her role as his grandmother, she claimed herself to be the child's mother and expected a much more parental role in the child's life, which led to conflict with the child's real parents.


Then we have to think about Carol, the owner of this forum and the legal implications of using this forum as a source for making such a claim to the victim's family. If somebody approached the family claiming to have 'proof' that their child is reincarnated, and then proceeded to show them discussions in this forum, then there could be repercussions for Carol if the family involved decided to take offence by the situation.


I think you would also have to do so much detective work before approaching the family, checking out all of the above beforehand to find out what kind of a reaction you would get, that it could be classed as an invasion of their privacy, and possibly illegal.


I also personally believe that if a reincarnated soul is meant to be reunited with their former family, then it will happen without any intervention from us. I'm certainly not opposed to the idea of contacting the families, but that is a decision that has to be made by the parties involved, and not through this forum.
 
Welcome to the forum. What Chris has said is true. You have not seen all of the children's cases in the forum. There are several that were taken out of the public discussion area after the child's previous identity was discovered and 99.9% verified based on the details and names given by the child. These are all cases where the previous person died in the last 40 years. The previous families and friends are mostly still alive. If you watch any reincarnation shows on TV, such as Ghost Inside My Child, you know that sometimes they do try to contact the previous family. Sometimes the families are open to meeting the child and there are some who refuse. It can also be confusing for the child. If the child died, say in the 1930s or 40s, their children from the previous life are now in their 70s and 80s. If you read the book, "Soul Survivor", about James Leninger you learn that the veterans he flew with in 1945 invited him and his parents to come to their reunion. His parents were shocked when he recognized several of the veterans at the reunion by name. Later his dad asked him how he was able to recognize them 70 years later. The boy said, "I recognized their voice".
 
Eric,


I wanted to jump in here and comment.


In the case of the child who remembers being a 9-11 fireman, the mother had identified who the child was in a previous life, and she shared that information with me privately. She did not want to share that information with the public before she had decided what she wanted to do--what she felt was in the best interest of her son and the former family.


We both did research on the former family, and found that they made certain comments online about their solid, Christian faith and what they believed about their son/brother/uncle in the after-life. We both felt that if this family was approached by her, or us, they would find this information very disturbing, perhaps disruptive. She also felt that her son was very comfortable in his present life and with his present family. He never mentioned wanting to find his other family.


Since 9-11 was such a recent, tragic, and public event, we felt that it might be seen as exploitive in some way to go public with this story. And since the emotions from this recent event are still raw for many families, it might not help the healing process for them. The mother carefully examined this issue from the perspective of her family, her son, and the former family. She decided not to contact them.


In the case of James Leininger, who remembered being a WWII pilot named James Huston, the parents confirmed his former identity by talking to veterans who had served on the Natoma Bay, the aircraft carrier James Huston had served on during the War. They told these veterans, and the sister of James Huston, that they were doing research about all the veterans who served on the aircraft carrier. They did not initially mention that they believed their son was the reincarnation of someone who served on the Natoma Bay. They just wanted to confirm if what their son was telling them could be true--that he was remembering a previous life. They wanted to solve this mystery.


After ABC "Primetime" filmed their segment, and were about to go on air with it, I encouraged the Leiningers to let Anne Barron, James Huston's elderly sister, know the real reason why they wanted to learn about James Huston's life and were doing their research. I was afraid it would have been too shocking for her to learn that her brother was back as this little boy in Louisiana from a TV show! The Leiningers agreed, and contacted Anne Barron's daughter who delivered the news to her mother. Fortunately, she was open to this astounding revelation, as were all of those involved in the case--James Huston's former family, and the surviving veterans who served with him. So, in this case, contacting James Huston's sister was a good thing to do.


I think that each case is different: Is the present child asking to find the former family? What type of death does the child remember? Can the parents help the child resolve issues from the death without meeting the other family? These, and more aspects of each case must be carefully considered. Then it's up to the child's family to decide what to do. I believe that these issues are more important to the child's well-being than trying to verify these stories. I'm saying this from my 26 years of research, and from my experiences with my own children who had traumatic past life memories.


Eric, I suggest that you read some of the other cases in this section, such as UKWood and Sofiajt, to understand that in some cases it's better to handle these cases very delicately, and not to make a big fuss about them with the child, so that the child can feel safe and heal.
 
Hello Eric,


You brought up Jim Tucker. I have read one, maybe more, of his books and I found his work interesting. What he does in this field is important, but he does not really help the children he works with. That is not his goal.


As a parent, I have no desire to see my children analyzed, fact-checked, photographed, cross-examined, placed on a scale of believability, and potentially put out there as a thing of public ridicule. That could be why people on the board have not suggested it to other parents.
 
Thanks for all of your answers. All of the things that all of you said made sense and helped me understand the situation better. (It's rare in any forum that I would find every person's reply to make good sense to me, haha).


Carol, thanks for the additional details on those cases, and it's good to know how it was decided not to contact the family of the firefighter for good reason. It's interesting to know those additional details of the Leininger case too.


Blueheart, good points. I don't have children, so I'm just thinking about evidence and science all the time, but obviously a parent has some things to weigh there about putting their child thru a research process.
 
Blueheart, what you are saying about Dr. Tucker not helping the children is jsut not true. He is a childrens' psychologist so he has a formal education and


qualification what I personally think is very important when dealing with children who have serious problems related to the past life. Also, just this morning, I read a facebook comment by the mother whose son remembered the life of the screenwriter of "Gone with the Wind" and she said Dr. Tucker had done a lot for her son and her family. It is a mere assumption that he is only interested in analyzing the children and verifying their memories which cannot be backed up by any facts and which is simply not true.
 
IrisG,


If he has helped a child, then that is to his credit. However, he has also said often that he is skeptical about reincarnation and that he did not really like child psychiatry. Parents must do what they think are best for their own children.
 
Dr. Tucker is not skeptical about reincarnation. In his latest book he offers a detailed explanation about the mechanism of reincarnation. He said more than once that he thought reincarnation was the best explanation for the type of cases he is studying. If you think he made a different claim please direct me to the source. Even though he "didn't really like child psychiatry" (in case he actually made that statement, which might be true as he obviously focuses on a different matter) he has the appropriate training and formal qualification to deal with young children.
 
Iris,


In my first meeting with Ian Stevenson and Jim Tucker, in the late 90s, I asked Dr. Stevenson privately why he never wrote about children healing as a result of talking about their past life memories, as I saw with my own children and others. He said, "You can't prove it." My reply was, "But there is evidence for it." He didn't get the irony. We agreed to disagree on that point.


I was actually disappointed at first that these skilled psychiatrists wouldn't venture into that territory. But, as I stated in both of my books, I began to understand why: Dr. Stevenson, as a medical doctor, went out on a limb to even investigate these cases. And he was doing incredibly important work to develop a methodology to investigate these cases and analyze them for patterns.


Nowhere in Ian Stevenson's or Jim Tucker's writing did they approach the cases as opportunities for healing phobias, physical symptoms, or emotional problems. In Jim Tucker's last book, he lightly mentioned the possibility that these memories had some therapeutic value, but that's it. I was intrigued that he went that far. Unless Jim has changed his opinions recently, I think his aim is still to verify memories using Stevenson's methods, and to analyze the cases for patterns.


As you have seen in my books, and on this Forum, most of the cases I've seen lack enough specific detail, and can't be verified using their methods. Still, these cases are very important to the child and the parents, because of the effects of the memories on the child--especially when the memories bring up disturbing feelings. So, my aim in my books, and here on the Forum, is to help these parents help their children, even if the memories can't be verified.


There are only a handful of therapists I know of who are working with children's past lives to heal past life trauma. I welcome the time when therapists and psychiatrists treat traumatic past life memories in children, using some of the same skills that they use to treat PTSD from this life.


I hope that this clarification helps you understand what is being done in this field.
 
Carol, believe me, I know very well what is being done in the field :-). I only stated Dr. Tucker a) believes that reincarnation is the best explanation for his cases and b) has a formal education that allows him to assess a child's psychological situation and allows him to deal with the child properly, not specifically related to past life therapy. That was all. I didn't say your cases weren't just as valuable or were to be dismissed. I reacted to Blueheart's comment that sounded as if Dr. Tucker treated the kids like lab rats which just isn't true, so I felt the need to defend him against what I felt was unfair and unfounded criticism.
 
Iris,


There is no need to defend Dr. Tucker. As we all agree, he is doing excellent work, as did Dr. Stevenson. His approach is different, that's all. No one is disputing his qualifications, and no one implied that he's treating the children as "lab rats." That's your interpretation.


I accompanied Drs. Tucker and Stevenson on several field investigations of cases I shared with them. They were always sensitive to the parents and children.


Probably many of the members of this Forum have read Jim Tucker's books. Let his work speak for itself.


Jim Matlock has an excellent Facebook blog that deals specifically with Stevenson's and his colleagues' work, using his scientific methods. I suggest people who want to expand their knowledge of children's past lives, and learn more of what Jim Tucker and others are doing in the field check out Jim Matlock's FB page.


For those who want more practical information on how to help a child who is having a past life memory, there is a wealth of information here.
 
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