It is a cool evening. I am sitting outside with Lera – in her lap. I am leaning my head back against her – she is talking softly, counting stars with me. Vita is leaning on Lera’s other side. There are lots here in the country. Suddenly I see a very bright one and point to the sky, excited. “Look, look!” I cry. Lera says, “It’s a very special star, bambina.” Lera takes my tiny hand in her big one and says, “ Look, me-de-see-mee.”
Then I am in the house, putting on my shoes. Gianni pops his head in and says, “Ready?” I jump up and run for the door and we start out for the road. Lera is coming from the barn. She says, “Where are you two going?” Gianni tells her that he’s taking me to town for a treat. Lera starts shaking her head and saying, “No. Not when I’m supposed to be watching her.” Gianni is a bit angry. He tells her, “Lera, I take Alessa into Venezia all the time and my parents never have a problem with it.” But Lera just says he can go – but I’m not allowed. I beg her, but she shakes her head and tells me we can work in the garden instead. I am mad at Lera. I want to go to town! Gianni says he will bring me something back and I watch him go. Lera holds out her hand to me and says “Come along, bambina.” I shake my head, cross my arms and stomp my foot and tell her “It’s not fair! You’re mean!!!!!” Then I am running toward the vista point.
We are all seated together in the hospital room – Boppa, Mamma, Gianni, Vita and me. Gemma is there, too, hovering in the corner of the room. Mamma is seated far across the room with her arm around Vita. They are talking about my sickness – leukemia. They are trying to explain it to Vita – Mamma keeps telling her “It’s bad blood that caused it.” Vita asks if she will catch it, too. Mamma tells her, “Of course not, cara mia. You have good blood, just like me.”
I hear Boppa and Mamma talking in the hall outside my room. Mamma is telling him in a very angry voice that “That child is not my responsibility.” I feel tears on my face. Then I hear Gianni’s voice – he is telling off Mamma! He is telling her she is selfish. Mamma sounds indignant when she tells him to “Keep out of things you doesn’t understand.” He says, “I understand my little sister is dying and her mother isn’t with her.” Then Gianni is in my room – he asks if I heard and I nod. I tell him I don’t understand why Mamma doesn’t love me like Vita. He tells me that it’s complicated grown-up stuff.
I am sitting with Gianni. We are playing a game like checkers – but with gumdrops he has smuggled into the hospital. I tell him I want to go to the vineyard. He says, “Maybe soon.” I ask him if he mailed my letter and drawing to Lera – and he says, “I told you I did.” I ask him, “When will she come, Gianni?” He says he doesn’t know.