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Losing My Identity

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GalaxyDreamer90

Senior Member
Lately part of me has been feeling like I'm losing a very important part of my identity. From a young age I identified as emotional but others don't seem to like it even when I explain to them I like to be emotional partly because I would get attention from my parents growing up when emotional. Instead they have me see this Dr who puts me on meds that make me less emotional and he refuses to get me off them. I'd like to just stop taking the meds and stop seeing the Dr he's thinks I'm stupid and have adhd anyway, but whenever I stop taking the meds I get withdrawl symptoms. I get my emotions back but no one seems to like that and also I get this buzzy feeling in my head that makes it hard to do things like work and sadly I need the money from work to be able to afford to live on my own. What can I do I feel like I'm losing a very important part of myself just to be what everyone else wants me to be.
 
Find yourself a new lifestyle in which you do not depend too much on your emotions. That can be fun too. New challenges, out of your comfort zone. I've been there. Just jump into new things that challenge you on other levels. An identity does not solely depend on our emotional life. It is also about exploring new things and finding a personal way to cope with them. It's also about choices you make, creating things, and gathering interesting information that resonates with you on several levels of your Consciousness. Emotions are great but not always practical or socially adequate. Personally, I benefit from my emotional life and my intellectual and social life as well. I try to balance them out. Always 'work in progress'. But I definitely wouldn't say that my identity only consists of my emotional life. (and you surely know by former conversations between us that I am diagnosed ADD as well).
 
GalaxyDreamer90 said:
However I'm an adult now if I want attention I guess there is my boyfriend.
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Be careful not to overdo this. Always strive for balance. A boyfriend is not a substitute for a parent. He's your partner and he deserves you as a partner (and not a child to take care of). But don't worry, you'll find your way. Some errors down the lane now and then are also normal. Good intentions matter most.
 
"Identity" is a curious thing. More often we learn later in life what we're not. Oh, the things that we think define us.

I hope you find a way to ween off the medicine if you desire.
Both my Sister and I were diagnosed with ADHD as children. I was fortunate not to be experimented on by my parents at a young age.
Oddly enough they decided to try the medicine with my Sister.

It took years of emotional turmoil and one day she recognized the medicine was not helping. Now she is off it and she is much happier, healthier. She says things like, "I still feel like I need it to work" but she has learned to recognize patterns and how to substitute things like a cup of coffee in place of "focus pills."

I was mysteriously hospitalized last year, and every 'specialist' found something with which they specialized in- but no real definitive answer as to why I was having what was happening. Thousands of dollars later mind you. All of that only served as a catalyst to take my health into my own hands.

Allopathy is not a "wrong" path but it is not for everyone. You have to be the one to decide what is right for you. I am not knocking man made medicine only imploring diligent research no matter the direction you take. While I was hospitalized, I learned a lot about the involvement of insurance companies and various rules doctors and hospitals are told to follow. My cardiologist told me the insurance company 'mandates' that she prescribes a certain medication because it works well for most people. It turns out I had a terrible, seizure-like reaction to what works well for most people.

While at the hospital, they wanted to bring in a psychiatrist. He wanted to overload my system with Xanax. It was awful and I was feeling like I was turning into a vegetable among other issues. I wanted off of it and his answer was to up the dosage.

Ultimately I had the final say. As do you. So if you decide you want off, I suggest researching healthy ways to ween off the medicine... And really notice your behavior and patterns through it all. Look into wholesome nutrition as well, as food can help with certain ailments- even at the emotional level. You are your own Master. Taking control of your life can be a joyous path into Self-Discovery.

Best of luck GalaxyDreamer = )
Happy 2023 ~
 
Thanks though I'm not entirely sure how to ween myself off the meds myself without having to worry about withdrawl. I myself am more into the old remedies and don't trust modern medicine that much especially when as far as they are concerned I have adhd. Still I don't know any remedies for a buzzy feeling in my head and not even sure I should try a remedy for that. Part of me really doesn't want to believe I have adhd but at the same time doctors might know what they are doing when they diagnose people as adhd. Still even if I do have adhd the meds are not a cure. Sadly nothing is a cure for adhd.
 
I've always found it remarkable how some types are so avoidant of human emotions to the point of shutting down others much less themselves even if it only be words let alone actual expression. Show any warmth and they'll either think that you are weak or want something etc. Show any depth then they'll hate you because modern society rewards superficiality and coldness. Anyway seeing another thread you posted my bit of advice that come next time search for a better world/realm/universe first and really shop around as coming back to the hole (Earth) isn't going to really get any better as a lot of times have been like this one way or another.
 
There and back again said:
... my bit of advice that come next time search for a better world/realm/universe first and really shop around as coming back to the hole (Earth) isn't going to really get any better as a lot of times have been like this one way or another.
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GalaxyDreamer90 said:
I don't even know why I'm stuck here on this world in this life time. Hopefully if reincarnation is real I get to reincarnate on a better world than this
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My advice would be to find out why you (GD90) are here now, what you (GD90) are here to do, why you (pre-GD90) chose these circumstances. Otherwise, when you (post-GD90) will get back "home", you'll be like: "oops! I did it again :( "

Life is meant to be lived with lucidity. You observe what's happening, you interpret it, you learn from that; next time (in this life) you apply that lesson.

There is no "chance" involved. We start from our individual innate level of evolvement, then we are conditioned / hypnotized into unfortunate ignorance by society, from the moment we join our mothers' wombs.

Still, each one of us chose these particular circumstances we experience for some reason, believing that we'll be able handle them successfully, learning and growing.


I was ready to write ... "good luck!", although I said that "chance" is not involved.

A quick search yielded these recommendations, most of them exemplifying the detrimental conditioning that "chance" is involved:

What Are Other Ways of Saying “Good Luck”?​

A few formal ways of saying good luck are:
  • Best of luck with your future endeavors.
  • I wish you the best.
  • Best of luck.
Casual ways of saying good luck are:
  • Break a leg!
  • Fingers crossed.
  • You got this!
  • I hope you do well.
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I tried to have another past life regression to remember more about my past life in the forest but was unable to remember anything. Something seems to be blocking the memories and don't know what that could be. Not entirely sure but it could of been that I still felt bad for the first time I had past life regression and my parents got mad about it and I started to feel bad that they were mad at me.
 
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