The things I am about to describe here may be the most deeply personal, and personally truthful thoughts and feelings I have ever expressed or written. I have been reading here today and decided my experiences may be of some interest here, research wise. Validating things for others, putting the puzzle together and seeing common themes in others stories and my own. I Have never practiced any sort of regression, I have never even really sought information on reincarnation or the things I have taken for granted to be a part of my life, my very secret inner life, I have kept all things pertaining to this entirely to myself since I was a child for reasons I will share later in this narrative.
Since I was a very small child, since I can remember, I have had an obsession with antiques and old houses, to the point where I would get physically sick around them, like some sort of nostalgia so strong I could not physically handle it, but it wasn't a bad feeling, it was a wonderful feeling. Of all the things that faded with time, that feeling has remained to this very day, the sickening overwhelming feeling antiquities cause me, and my absolute love of them. However when I was a child, seeing these things or going into old houses, triggered these memories. Just flashes, like a name that is on the tip of your tongue that you can not remember, that is how the memories felt, it was a sudden rush of "Oh! I know this.." But the memory was gone as soon as I had felt it. The flashes were of a house I felt I had lived in, the thing I knew for certain was that there were many paintings on the ceiling in one of the rooms, separated into squares by silver lines, and that there was someone familiar there with me, although I did not know who. Also , oddly enough, that my hair was very nice, very curly in an updo. That is all I knew of details, the rest was just a yearning nostalgic feeling, that there was so much more to remember. However old houses were not the only thing that caused memories and sickening nostalgia, the night sky when I was a child gave me the same feelings. I would get sick when the stars were bright, I would cry and when my Mother asked why I said I just wanted to go home. That is how I felt. An overwhelming longing to just go home, with no idea of where that was or why I felt this. I felt like I literally missed the cold stillness of space, and it reminded me of the place I could not re call as well. I had strange memories of drifting peacefully in deafening silence past galaxies and stars, I would think about it to put myself to sleep and calm myself down. This prompted a running joke that I was an Alien and wanted to go home to space, I resented this belittling of my very real emotions, no one understood and I felt very alone. I decided to keep things very much to myself.
Since I was a very small child, since I can remember, I have had an obsession with antiques and old houses, to the point where I would get physically sick around them, like some sort of nostalgia so strong I could not physically handle it, but it wasn't a bad feeling, it was a wonderful feeling. Of all the things that faded with time, that feeling has remained to this very day, the sickening overwhelming feeling antiquities cause me, and my absolute love of them. However when I was a child, seeing these things or going into old houses, triggered these memories. Just flashes, like a name that is on the tip of your tongue that you can not remember, that is how the memories felt, it was a sudden rush of "Oh! I know this.." But the memory was gone as soon as I had felt it. The flashes were of a house I felt I had lived in, the thing I knew for certain was that there were many paintings on the ceiling in one of the rooms, separated into squares by silver lines, and that there was someone familiar there with me, although I did not know who. Also , oddly enough, that my hair was very nice, very curly in an updo. That is all I knew of details, the rest was just a yearning nostalgic feeling, that there was so much more to remember. However old houses were not the only thing that caused memories and sickening nostalgia, the night sky when I was a child gave me the same feelings. I would get sick when the stars were bright, I would cry and when my Mother asked why I said I just wanted to go home. That is how I felt. An overwhelming longing to just go home, with no idea of where that was or why I felt this. I felt like I literally missed the cold stillness of space, and it reminded me of the place I could not re call as well. I had strange memories of drifting peacefully in deafening silence past galaxies and stars, I would think about it to put myself to sleep and calm myself down. This prompted a running joke that I was an Alien and wanted to go home to space, I resented this belittling of my very real emotions, no one understood and I felt very alone. I decided to keep things very much to myself.
