funnybunny
New Member
Hi everyone! I've been a lurker of this forum for a few days, and I finally decided to post.
To sum it up, my name is Nikki. I'm sixteen years old and I've spent much time in the hospital this year for mental health reasons. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety which I believe may stem from a past life.
When I was a toddler, my parents told me I was going to be having a baby brother or sister soon. Very confidently, my mother tells me, I announced that it was "Daniel" in her belly and I was very excited to meet him. Repeatedly my mother told me if her baby was a boy, they would call him Luke - but I continued to call him Daniel until he was about two. When my parents asked me why I wanted to call him Daniel, I would talk about "my baby that I was supposed to have, but I didn't know that when I died, so now he's going to be with me here."
My parents were very open-minded and allowed me to talk freely about such ideas, but they had no ideas of reincarnation at the time. My mother was raised Catholic, but we recently converted to the United church, which accepts reincarnation as a belief. My father is a Buddhist and is happy to think about past lives as a real event.
My mother became pregnant with my sister unexpectedly several years later, at which time she told me if it was a boy he would be called Aaron, and if it was a girl she would be Julia. I grew very excited and began to tell her stories about my friend Julia, who had curly blond hair and loved the animals we took care of. My mom asked me if Julia had been my sister, and I told her that no, we didn't have families like this one back then, everyone was family together and nobody had babies. She asked me how I got there if no one had babies, and I told her I was brought there when my other mom died.
I had a very active imagination at the time - many imaginary friends, seeing fairies, dolls coming alive to play with me - so my parents thought nothing of it. That is, until Julia was born, with curly blond hair. As she grew older she became very fond of animals - she has an autism spectrum disorder and cannot connect with people, but remains very close to her cat.
Only recently have I begun to discuss this with my parents, due to very strange and vivid dreams. The doctors in the hospital insisted that they were only dreams and that past lives do not exist, but the therapist I see when I'm at home is open to the idea. The dreams involve a communal living setting, in which the men, women and children are separate. No family units are present, but daily activities are normal - meals, school, chores, religious worship, lots of music and dancing. It feels very peaceful there. But as the dream goes on I leave the happy place for the normal world. It all looks very old-fashioned, sort of like the setting from Little House on the Prairie? When I leave, I want to have a baby. But by the end of the dream, I still haven't had one, and I throw myself into a river.
I honestly don't know if this is past life stuff or total crazy-talk. I wouldn't have considered it being past life-related until my mom told me the stories about my siblings. I do have a strong maternal instinct; I loved helping to take care of my siblings and I adore babies. I was originally hospitalized for a suicide attempt this year which involved a very unpleasantly cold ocean. Many of my depression-related feelings involve loneliness, a feeling of something being missing in my life. My anxieties revolve around social situations and an intense feeling that I'm forgetting something, almost like there's a memory that's just out of my reach.
Was there even a society like the one I seem to remember in history? It would've been before the 1900's, I'm certain. It reminds me of pioneer styles in a way. I feel that I need to know whether such a society existed, so I can present the information to my therapist. Perhaps if I could learn more about my past life, I could help my depression and anxiety to heal. I do hope this isn't too much to read all at once. If you made it this far, thanks a ton!
Nikki
To sum it up, my name is Nikki. I'm sixteen years old and I've spent much time in the hospital this year for mental health reasons. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety which I believe may stem from a past life.
When I was a toddler, my parents told me I was going to be having a baby brother or sister soon. Very confidently, my mother tells me, I announced that it was "Daniel" in her belly and I was very excited to meet him. Repeatedly my mother told me if her baby was a boy, they would call him Luke - but I continued to call him Daniel until he was about two. When my parents asked me why I wanted to call him Daniel, I would talk about "my baby that I was supposed to have, but I didn't know that when I died, so now he's going to be with me here."
My parents were very open-minded and allowed me to talk freely about such ideas, but they had no ideas of reincarnation at the time. My mother was raised Catholic, but we recently converted to the United church, which accepts reincarnation as a belief. My father is a Buddhist and is happy to think about past lives as a real event.
My mother became pregnant with my sister unexpectedly several years later, at which time she told me if it was a boy he would be called Aaron, and if it was a girl she would be Julia. I grew very excited and began to tell her stories about my friend Julia, who had curly blond hair and loved the animals we took care of. My mom asked me if Julia had been my sister, and I told her that no, we didn't have families like this one back then, everyone was family together and nobody had babies. She asked me how I got there if no one had babies, and I told her I was brought there when my other mom died.
I had a very active imagination at the time - many imaginary friends, seeing fairies, dolls coming alive to play with me - so my parents thought nothing of it. That is, until Julia was born, with curly blond hair. As she grew older she became very fond of animals - she has an autism spectrum disorder and cannot connect with people, but remains very close to her cat.
Only recently have I begun to discuss this with my parents, due to very strange and vivid dreams. The doctors in the hospital insisted that they were only dreams and that past lives do not exist, but the therapist I see when I'm at home is open to the idea. The dreams involve a communal living setting, in which the men, women and children are separate. No family units are present, but daily activities are normal - meals, school, chores, religious worship, lots of music and dancing. It feels very peaceful there. But as the dream goes on I leave the happy place for the normal world. It all looks very old-fashioned, sort of like the setting from Little House on the Prairie? When I leave, I want to have a baby. But by the end of the dream, I still haven't had one, and I throw myself into a river.
I honestly don't know if this is past life stuff or total crazy-talk. I wouldn't have considered it being past life-related until my mom told me the stories about my siblings. I do have a strong maternal instinct; I loved helping to take care of my siblings and I adore babies. I was originally hospitalized for a suicide attempt this year which involved a very unpleasantly cold ocean. Many of my depression-related feelings involve loneliness, a feeling of something being missing in my life. My anxieties revolve around social situations and an intense feeling that I'm forgetting something, almost like there's a memory that's just out of my reach.
Was there even a society like the one I seem to remember in history? It would've been before the 1900's, I'm certain. It reminds me of pioneer styles in a way. I feel that I need to know whether such a society existed, so I can present the information to my therapist. Perhaps if I could learn more about my past life, I could help my depression and anxiety to heal. I do hope this isn't too much to read all at once. If you made it this far, thanks a ton!
Nikki
